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? if we are to confront or just keep praying - 6/8/2008 8:23:36 PM
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Laine99
Posts: 16
Joined: 11/23/2007
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a relative has posted 3 bulletins about how she hates her so called family..meaning my daughter. She is angry my dd is engaged and the only family that had not been told yet was herself and her parents and brother, relative and parents. dd would have told them at church but they quit attending church, so she was going to tell them that afternoon at relatives party. Engagement happened the evening before. dd called most of the out of area relatives to announce and quietly told family at church the next morn. dd did not flaunt it they just quietly said privately to them we're getting married and it was at relative's graduation party, we had not seen them before . Relative is mad she told them there and I'm going to quote this and delete a few words."so a graduation party for someone who barely passed isnt for you to ruin it with we are engaged. you have no clue what kind of families you both have just entered. BTW you both personally are just dumb. first off your never going to finish your degree. your just going to marry a idiot that makes you perge your food. i dont get you. you went from eating four steaks to no icing on your cake and barfing it all up. you look like **** and your fiance is a jerk. your not in love your just brainwashed. you look like ** for being so called in love. whatever have fun not finishing your degree i hope it doesnt work out for you because honestly you deserve way better than him.oh and dont ask me to come to the wedding cause i WONT!"
We have not responded to her antics and don't know what to even say. She's obviously feeling horrible and is lashing out, but I'm not sure if it's even our place to confront her or just state we are sorry you are so upset, but if you change your mind the door is open. This is the second time she's done this to dd. dd did respond the 1st time to see why she felt so hurt and apologized if she had hurt her feelings the first time. The 1st time it happened they were private messages. This time it was public. My human side wants to reprimand her royally. The spiritual side just wants to know why she's hurting so terribly. We are the only family she's ever done things with and she knows we love her, but I don't get this at all.
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RE: ? if we are to confront or just keep praying - 6/8/2008 9:34:46 PM
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creationtalk
Posts: 585
Joined: 6/9/2005
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What about just avoiding this person altogether? I certainly wouldn't want to be in the presence of someone who acts that way, relative or no.
Are the parties involved identified in the public posts? If so, I would kindly ask this person to remove them...and then stay as far away as possible, at least until the person apologizes and is sincerely remorseful. I'm glad my family didn't react that way...I got engaged and MARRIED without telling anyone in the family until after the fact. And my grandparents found out first because we stayed at their house on the way to my parents.
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RE: ? if we are to confront or just keep praying - 6/8/2008 9:36:16 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3222
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
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What do you mean by "bulletins?"
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: ? if we are to confront or just keep praying - 6/8/2008 10:28:46 PM
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Laine99
Posts: 16
Joined: 11/23/2007
Status: offline
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Thank you..i will ask her to remove her posts. I appreciate someone elses insight on this. A "bulletin" is a public message on myspace that whoever you are friends with can read. So in this case about 250 people got this message personally, and they will remain unless the original poster removes it. I am concerned about her as she has titled it "Quit ruining my LIFE" and I hate my so-called family. i just wonder if something else is going on with her.
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RE: ? if we are to confront or just keep praying - 6/9/2008 4:40:19 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 816
Joined: 11/28/2005
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It sounds like something is going on with her... it's probably jealousy and it can be a bulldog to control if you allow it to stay in your life.
Is she someone with low self esteem?
would she be willing to get into family counseling?
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RE: ? if we are to confront or just keep praying - 6/9/2008 5:09:16 PM
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allisonbrett
Posts: 126
Joined: 5/29/2008
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She may have felt like the graduate was upstaged with an engagement announcement. While both are to be celebrated no one wants to share the limelight on something important. It's like announcing an engagement at a wedding. Then all the attention goes to the newly engaged and not on the married couple. This person CLEARLY overreacted possilby out of jealousy. Either way, delete any "friend" if you can't delete the postings. I'm not up on the MySpace thing. I suggest posting on your page that any and all bulletins containing offensive language, personal attacks, etc. will be deleted and blocked. Can you block bulletins? If so, you may want to do that.
Keep praying. Evidently that person has some serious "issues" they need to deal with.
< Message edited by allisonbrett -- 6/9/2008 5:15:48 PM >
_____________________________
Allison's Mindless Chatter
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RE: ? if we are to confront or just keep praying - 6/11/2008 8:53:25 AM
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Laine99
Posts: 16
Joined: 11/23/2007
Status: offline
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Well I think I found out where most of this is stemming from. Gossip and rumors in a small town. I called to speak w/relative to ask her to please remove and her mom wanted to know why i was calling and what was going on so I said she'd posted a few bulletins and to please remove them. I gave no details. Mom stated she didn't know what her dd had said but went into a rant and basically mentioned almost everything her dd had stated in her posts. I said if her dd is offended by my dd then she needs to privately tell her not make a public. Now I realize where this is all coming from. So I said they did not mean to hurt anyone they only wanted to privately tell you so no one else would tell them b4 they could. They told no one else at the party. Mom went into attack on how unhappy and sick my dd looks and was blaming it on dd's fiance and I told her If she's that concerned to talk w/my dd. She refused.I told her we loved her and her family very much. She went on about several other issues about dd. I said well we can pray about the situation (since she didn't want to talk w/dd). She jumped down my throat b4 i even finished the sentence and stated prayer does not work in some cases and hung up on me. Wow, satan has found a way to put a wedge in this families life, please pray for them and that they can find their way back to Christ and really feel the love that we have for them and the love Christ has for them. They quit attending church last year and I'd love to see them go back to a church somewhere where they can become grounded again..
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RE: ? if we are to confront or just keep praying - 6/11/2008 9:12:47 AM
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preserved
Posts: 1124
Joined: 6/12/2007
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In this case I would send a bulletin to counteract whatever may have been said. I would also pray and leave her alone...Perhaps she is overre-acting with concerns as to the health of your dd or she may know more of what is really going on?
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RE: ? if we are to confront or just keep praying - 6/12/2008 8:56:43 AM
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Laine99
Posts: 16
Joined: 11/23/2007
Status: offline
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Well i know i won't post a counter-active bulletin. I feel like that would be pouring salt in an open wound and they'd continue making posts. I did send a private msg since i did not think her mom would tell her, and simple stated
Please.
Remove the 3 bulletins you posted. I called tonight to personally ask you but you were not home.
Thank you
her response.
im sorry but i didnt tell you to read the bulletins i posted. and they will be gone within a few days. you also shouldnt be bringing my mom in this situation because im the one that posted them. oh and you need to not handle *** problems if she has an issue then she needs to handle it not her mommy! all i did was express my feelings. because they ****** me off. unlike your kids i cant go into everything i do and succeed i have to work my but off. so i deserved my party then they hafta go ruin it.
my response,
You can be angry or upset but you take it directly to the person who offended you. You posted a public message for anyone to read so you made it my business. I do not know if she read it or not. No one intended to upset anyone and your mom asked me why I was calling you. I am happy you succeeded in high school that's why we came to your graduation and your party. You had to work your butt off to get that diploma and no one is taking that from you. You had an awesome party and no one took that from you. We love you and care about you deeply. That won't ever change.
her response
im not angry im ******. unlike you and your family i do face the real world. i take care of my own problems and yeah i had an awesome party til poeple had to ruin with ooo im engaged. whateverr
my response
you can still remove the posts =) today
The next day after this had happened my MIL called worried about her dd, (relative's mom) She said I thought dd would get better as she got older she's getting worse. MIL said her dd would explode and then later call her and apologize but this past year has become bad she is mad about everything. MIL wants her to find a church family as she was not this bad when she was going to church and involved in things.
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