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A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/18/2008 4:45:33 PM
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Little_1
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But what about a bad boss? How would you deal with a boss if they were constantly criticizing staff behind their backs? Spreading gossip; gossiping in whispered tones on the phone for a good part of their working day? Tries to manipulate others to do what they want them to do (usually to keep them posted about other staff when they are not around)? Also threatens staff in undertones if they don't get their own way?
How do you keep yourself from being affected by the bad feeling someone like this causes?
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/18/2008 4:47:58 PM
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earthless
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Do your job, do what you're supposed to do, always do the right thing.
And work as if you were working for Jesus.
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/18/2008 4:52:45 PM
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raivyne
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Keep your head down, do your job and stay as far away from that person as possible... also keep in mind that should this person and I cross paths it's not personal... he/she just doesn't seem to like anyone. Of course always smile and be nice remember that he/she is a very unhappy person inside. When you don't feel like being nice - fake it.
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/18/2008 5:38:42 PM
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Little_1
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Everyone in the workplace works really hard and sometimes it is hard for us to have to complete this person's work on top of our own busy schedules and only because they have been too busy gossiping. We have all been very lenient concerning this side of things.
I've been reading a book by George Elizabeth and she speaks about God allowing all sorts of things in our lives (and all kinds of people) and none of them are by chance; He knows about everything and every person who comes into our lives.
I just want to use the opportunity the way God wants me to use it. I know this person is not happy or else they would not be doing what they are doing. I want to help them but at the same time, I don't want to get pulled into their web. I find when I offer kindness, that this person takes it as a que to offload criticism about others to me and this is not why I am trying to be kind to them! Quite the reverse.
This person is the boss and they aren't exactly avoidable (often I honestly wish they were). Any further suggestions on top of the previous (which I appreciate) would also be appreciated.
< Message edited by Little_1 -- 9/18/2008 5:48:56 PM >
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/18/2008 5:42:02 PM
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mvic
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Little 1,
Are you talking about one of my ex-bosses? Is he now working in your firm?
He behaved exactly as you describe. He put one colleague against another to "engender competition" as it were. He was "liked" by his staff purely because he was feared. He abused his position of authority blatantly. Once, at a meeting in his office, I was alone with him and he said: "I'm getting this close to punching you in the face"; just because I questionned the wisdom of his strategy on a business matter.
Luckily, I remained calm and said: "And what would that achieve?"
He got off his chair, walked out of his office and slammed the door behind him. I waited for 10 minutes or so then I left and went to my office.
I tried my best to respect him but couldn't. I just obeyed him and tried looking for another job. Eventually I was transferred to another job in another city with the same company.
I learnt later that his life fell apart. He got divorced - it was very messy and public. He lost his position of authority and got demoted; and was moved from that office.
To answer your question about dealing with bad bosses. Pray for them. God will deal with them in His own time and in His own way.
Thinking back, I seem to have had my fair share of bad bosses. And everyone, without fail, was dealt with by God.
I'm sure there's a Bible verse about taking no vengence, vengence is mine says the Lord. Can't seem to find it right now. Perhaps you can help.
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/18/2008 5:46:02 PM
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Little_1
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Thank you mvic. I knew I couldn't be alone on this one. It even helps to know that someone else has 'been there'. I don't want to see them removed but they do need help.
Also, I don't want to be afraid of them but being honest, they are instilling a very deep uneasiness in my spirit.
I will pray for them. They need the Lord and despite how I am feeling, the Lord loves them dearly and I have to remember this too.
Thank you.
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/18/2008 6:56:51 PM
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Liveloved
Posts: 1824
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L1,
I'm sorry this is your work experience. I'm sure it is difficult.
I immediately think of Col 3:22-25. Slaves, in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men; knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality.
It is so easy for us to fix our eyes on others and 'forget' that the Lord is sanctifying us! This boss is your sanctifying agent, L1. Thank the Lord for this boss. Work for this boss as you would for Christ. Look for the best in this person and live out the love of Jesus in your workplace. The Lord will not let this person win in dragging you down. He's using this person to lift you up to the heavenlies. Believe it. It will change your attitude toward this boss and what you are going through.
Bless ya, dear sister. I've prayed for you.  LL
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/18/2008 7:40:17 PM
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delete123
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I have had some pretty bad bosses and coworkers. Believe it or not some of them confessed Christians.
What I do is every night I would pray for my coworkers (including the boss).
Then go into, do my job as if I was working for Jesus.
I believe this belongs in God's "inbox." and your "outbox." Let Him handle it and believe me He does.
I also had one that would go from dept. to dept trying to stir the pot, and one day she tried to include me in which I was in disagreement with another coworker. So she made a comment to me and I looked at her dead on and simply stated, "You have the wrong person. I do not indulge in that!" Well her face turned red and was truly out to get me, however I said no more and turned it over to the Lord.
Months later, I received an e-mail from her that her position had been deleted and her services were no longer needed.
CRH
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/18/2008 8:34:23 PM
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SonInMe1
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Personally, I would like to have an employee accomplish three things...
Show up
Show up sober
Show up on time.
90% of the people I "managed" could not do these three things.
While gossip and other poor practices by bosses are not a good thing, walk a few miles in their shoes.
My bosses? The force me to lie, fudge on my production sheets. If I do not do it, they come over and do it themselves. They lie and manipulate. Can I say nepitism? Wow, in every way. It does not matter how well you work or the sacrifice you make or the difference between your work wthic and others....it matters if you have a few drinks with the boss after work or play golf with him.
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You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/18/2008 9:39:01 PM
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pinkbow
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If someone is mistreating you, yes, it is good to be Christlike to them, but-
If they are causing you more stress than you can handle, then I would try to find a new job.
Just because you are Christian doesn't mean that you have to put up with others constantly mistreating you or making you feel uncomfortable.
I would say, pray to God to give you wisdom about the situation. Work is stressful enough, and personal drama at work shouldn't be tolerated, in my opinion. It's work, not a high school nor a country club.
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/19/2008 3:31:08 AM
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Little_1
Posts: 1444
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SonInMe1
......While gossip and other poor practices by bosses are not a good thing, walk a few miles in their shoes.....
My boss has a very good and loyal team. If we were to repeat some or any of the things we have heard them say, they would be in deep water! We support the boss wherever we can and I have even taken on some of the bosses work (and so have some others) which probably wasn't a good idea because it leaves them more time to wander about doing what they do (which is not work). We definitely have tried to consider what it's like from their side of the fence. However, bosses who cannot do the job (for whatever reason) should perhaps consider stepping down. They know they take on extra responsibilities when they accept their positions (and they do get paid for such) and this one is being given all the help we know how but is abusing such help we feel.
I will take a closer look at all your replies this evening (after work). Thank you all very much for your responses and support. I know I have to pray more about this situation before I make any decisions. Thank you all very much. Appreciated.
< Message edited by Little_1 -- 9/20/2008 3:00:30 AM >
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/19/2008 12:26:11 PM
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Little_1
Posts: 1444
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quote:
earthless
......Do your job, do what you're supposed to do, always do the right thing.
And work as if you were working for Jesus.......
quote:
raivyne
......Keep your head down, do your job and stay as far away from that person as possible... also keep in mind that should this person and I cross paths it's not personal... he/she just doesn't seem to like anyone.......
quote:
Liveloved
L1,
I'm sorry this is your work experience. I'm sure it is difficult.
I immediately think of Col 3:22-25. Slaves, in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men; knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality.
It is so easy for us to fix our eyes on others and 'forget' that the Lord is sanctifying us! This boss is your sanctifying agent, L1. Thank the Lord for this boss. Work for this boss as you would for Christ. Look for the best in this person and live out the love of Jesus in your workplace. The Lord will not let this person win in dragging you down. He's using this person to lift you up to the heavenlies. Believe it. It will change your attitude toward this boss and what you are going through.
pinkbowquote:
......If someone is mistreating you, yes, it is good to be Christlike to them, but-
If they are causing you more stress than you can handle, then I would try to find a new job.......
All these are worth praying about and considering. Thank you.
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/19/2008 5:10:56 PM
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blue1914
Posts: 412
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Little_1
But what about a bad boss? How would you deal with a boss if they were constantly criticizing staff behind their backs? Spreading gossip; gossiping in whispered tones on the phone for a good part of their working day? Tries to manipulate others to do what they want them to do (usually to keep them posted about other staff when they are not around)? Also threatens staff in undertones if they don't get their own way?
How do you keep yourself from being affected by the bad feeling someone like this causes?
I really think your avatar says it all. Remember, Jesus came to earth not only to bad bosses (anyone who tried to criticize him, etc.) but to a bad and unworthy death. He never lifted his voice to complain even once. I'm certain that with human emotions, He was not always happy with the way people spoke about him and lied about him, etc. etc. but he bore it without complaint, always looking to what came next-reconciling his Father to His Children.
You have a unique opportunity-you can pray for that boss. You can do good things for him and in that manner store up for yourself treasures in heaven. You can witness to that boss and possibly see him come to Christ. You have the opportunity to do as Jesus did-just like your avatar says. The same people who came to Jesus with their hand out asking him to heal them and help them crucified him without as much as a second thought. What did He do as they did so-He pleaded on their behalf that they be forgiven.
I know it's all easier said than done-the Lord is dealing with me right now about forgiveness and walking in His light. Got a ways yet to go, but I'm on the road!
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/19/2008 5:45:41 PM
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HisCovenant
Posts: 4334
Joined: 4/12/2005
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I've been there, too, Little_1.
I agree with praying for him, witnessing to him in every action you take, standing against sin, trying to understand where he might be coming from in some issues, and recognizing (while he may not earn your respect) that you owe him respect because of his role of authority over you.
I also agree that there comes a time for parting ways. When you have done everything you feel God would have you to do to be at peace with your boss, get out of the situation. There's a lot of good that comes out of a crisis like this- your heart is revealed, you cling more closely to God, you are a brighter witness, you learn what are hills to die on, you learn how to stand strong when you are the only one standing, you learn more about what true forgiveness is, you see how much you didn't deserve God's actions to make you right with Him, etc... but there does come a time for leaving and not being under an authority that is leading you against God... and it's hard to explain when that place comes other than God will give you a peace about it or a burden to stay.
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/20/2008 2:12:59 AM
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Little_1
Posts: 1444
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quote:
ORIGINAL: blue1914
I really think your avatar says it all. Remember, Jesus came to earth not only to bad bosses (anyone who tried to criticize him, etc.) but to a bad and unworthy death. He never lifted his voice to complain even once. I'm certain that with human emotions, He was not always happy with the way people spoke about him and lied about him, etc. etc. but he bore it without complaint, always looking to what came next-reconciling his Father to His Children.
You have a unique opportunity-you can pray for that boss. You can do good things for him and in that manner store up for yourself treasures in heaven. You can witness to that boss and possibly see him come to Christ. You have the opportunity to do as Jesus did-just like your avatar says. The same people who came to Jesus with their hand out asking him to heal them and help them crucified him without as much as a second thought. What did He do as they did so-He pleaded on their behalf that they be forgiven......
Yes - this is very good advise. Thank you. Appreciated.
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/20/2008 2:14:26 AM
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Little_1
Posts: 1444
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quote:
ORIGINAL: HisCovenant
I've been there, too, Little_1.
I agree with praying for him, witnessing to him in every action you take, standing against sin, trying to understand where he might be coming from in some issues, and recognizing (while he may not earn your respect) that you owe him respect because of his role of authority over you.
I also agree that there comes a time for parting ways. When you have done everything you feel God would have you to do to be at peace with your boss, get out of the situation. There's a lot of good that comes out of a crisis like this- your heart is revealed, you cling more closely to God, you are a brighter witness, you learn what are hills to die on, you learn how to stand strong when you are the only one standing, you learn more about what true forgiveness is, you see how much you didn't deserve God's actions to make you right with Him, etc... but there does come a time for leaving and not being under an authority that is leading you against God... and it's hard to explain when that place comes other than God will give you a peace about it or a burden to stay.
Thank you - it is true that a lot of good can come out of a situation like this and I don't want to waste any opportunities. Appreciated.
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/20/2008 4:13:28 AM
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musicboss11
Posts: 505
Joined: 5/4/2005
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Is there a person above your boss (provided you've tried to talk to your boss)? If there is some one above your boss, go to that person. If that dosen't work or there is no one higher to go to than find a new job. Life is to short. Just my 2 cents.
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/20/2008 9:55:01 AM
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Little_1
Posts: 1444
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quote:
ORIGINAL: musicboss11
Is there a person above your boss (provided you've tried to talk to your boss)? If there is some one above your boss, go to that person. If that dosen't work or there is no one higher to go to than find a new job. Life is to short. Just my 2 cents.
Yes - there is this option.
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RE: A good boss is to be respected...... - 9/23/2008 11:00:20 PM
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Dancre
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I've had to deal with very bad bosses. And all I can say is walk in love, do what they say and pray for them. God works it out every time.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Little_1
But what about a bad boss? How would you deal with a boss if they were constantly criticizing staff behind their backs? Spreading gossip; gossiping in whispered tones on the phone for a good part of their working day? Tries to manipulate others to do what they want them to do (usually to keep them posted about other staff when they are not around)? Also threatens staff in undertones if they don't get their own way?
How do you keep yourself from being affected by the bad feeling someone like this causes?
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What if you have tried to gently tell them you don't want to get involved and they still don't heed you? What if they have threatening undertones that strongly suggest that if you don't comply with their selfish and unreasonable demands that your life will be made difficult? 
This same person has already cleverly got rid of a very good and liked temping worker who didn't go along with their demands. How do you deal with someone who is abusing their position of authority but has got away with such for years and at the same time strangely seems to be 'very popular' with staff throughout the building (even those they have bad mouthed about behind their backs)?
Please continue to pray for us and for the good work the Lord is willing to do in both our lives. Thank you.
