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Can being a fan also be cheating? - 3/30/2008 6:38:30 PM
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ObviousLee
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Most men and women, even Christian, have at least one celebrity icon they have a distant romantic fantasy with. I've had mine, although I don't hold to any now. I've seen a marriage partner who posted on the same forum as their spouse, comment on which movie icon they admired in a romantic sense (at least that's how it came across). They were also Christian. It almost seems that it's something overlooked because theoretically celebrity icons are untouchable. The chances of meeting are so slim, that the significant other should think nothing of it. If one marriage partner were to speak similarly about another person they worked with, or was friends with their spouse, the spouse would probably take it as a form of non-direct cheating.
It's almost as if most monogamous couples each have 2 lovers; the one they are partnered with, and their fantasy celebrity icon.
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RE: Can being a fan also be cheating? - 3/30/2008 10:08:17 PM
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Doc65
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Matt. 5:27-28 is pretty clear on the subject....
quote:
27 You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
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RE: Can being a fan also be cheating? - 3/31/2008 5:33:45 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
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admiration vs. lusting
You can admire and be a fan without crossing the line but as soon as you begin to imagine this person in a more romantic or intimate way that you've crossed the line. I agree that it is a form of adultry, lusting after someone not your spouse. I've known many who have become almost obsessed over a particular movie star but yet consider it harmless. I don't wonder if they don't fall for a character in a movie as opposed to the actual movie star. Depending upon how far they fall into that fantasy probably has something to do with the state of their marriage. It's hard to compare your imperfect spouse with the perfect image of some rich and gorgeous movie star. In reality, I'm sure they'd be disappointed in their "perfect" movie star if they were to actually meet them. Not worth it.
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RE: Can being a fan also be cheating? - 4/2/2008 9:35:39 AM
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Szaftoo
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ObviousLee
Most men and women, even Christian, have at least one celebrity icon they have a distant romantic fantasy with.
What makes you come to that conclusion?
I've had mine, although I don't hold to any now. I've seen a marriage partner who posted on the same forum as their spouse, comment on which movie icon they admired in a romantic sense (at least that's how it came across). They were also Christian. It almost seems that it's something overlooked because theoretically celebrity icons are untouchable. The chances of meeting are so slim, that the significant other should think nothing of it. If one marriage partner were to speak similarly about another person they worked with, or was friends with their spouse, the spouse would probably take it as a form of non-direct cheating.
It's almost as if most monogamous couples each have 2 lovers; the one they are partnered with, and their fantasy celebrity icon.
Sounds like you have made respect or admiration sexual. Am I not reading you correctly?
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RE: Can being a fan also be cheating? - 4/2/2008 11:26:30 AM
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ObviousLee
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ObviousLee
Most men and women, even Christian, have at least one celebrity icon they have a distant romantic fantasy with.
What makes you come to that conclusion?
It may not be fair to say most. I'll just say that I seem to have met a lot. I realize it can be touchy, or a fine line between admiration and lust/fantasy. It could be depend on many things. It just seems that there's somewhat of an accepted practice of designating a certain celebrity as an indirect romantic figure on somewhat of a personal level.
I'll use a rather outrageous example. If you ever watch the old TV sit-com "I Love Lucy", there were certain episodes that would hi-hight Lucy's fascination for Movie celebrities. Particularly, the episodes when they took their Hollywood trip. Now, in the show, Ricky and Lucy were a very monogamous couple. If Lucy were to have shown interest in another man (like a neighbor), it would be reasonable to suggest that Ricky's hot Cuban temper would act accordingly. However, when Lucy would see a particular Hollywood icon, she would go into a swooning or fluttering state. But, this was portrayed as perfectly innocent and acceptable. And it didn't seem to bother Mr. Ricardo who was far more concerned with Lucy not making a spectacle which could possibly effect his stance with the in-crowd. This of course is an exaggerated example, but sets the tempo of some more realistic traits.
I admit that I didn't hear too much in regards to any real problems occurring in regards to this. However, I do recall awhile back when an interesting occurrence was shown on TV involving a young boy friend/girl friend situation, and jealousy. Apparently a male soap opera icon did a singing/concert performance somewhere. A particular female had a bit of a problem with her jealous boyfriend who didn't feel it right for her to attend a concert based on the premises of being a girls thing. In other words, it's not cheating, it's merely setting a designated separate time away from the boy friend to join in unity with other females who share a distant untouchable admiration for a male sex symbol. The boy friend apparently didn't see it as being this innocent, and unbeknownst to her, he attended the concert. He isolated himself somewhere near the front of the stage, and at a convenient time leaped onto the stage and physically attacked the bewildered singer.
< Message edited by ObviousLee -- 4/2/2008 11:33:41 AM >
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RE: Can being a fan also be cheating? - 4/2/2008 11:35:19 AM
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ObviousLee
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ObviousLee
It's almost as if most monogamous couples each have 2 lovers; the one they are partnered with, and their fantasy celebrity icon.
Sounds like you have made respect or admiration sexual. Am I not reading you correctly?
Well that's why I posed the question as I did. But, again, I probably shouldn't say most. Obviously respect and/or admiration is not in itself sexual. But no doubt in even more direct circumstances it can certainly lead to that.
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RE: Can being a fan also be cheating? - 4/2/2008 11:45:45 AM
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dance4joy
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There are certain male actors who I think are particularly attractive (physically), but never once have I fantasized about any of them in a romantic or sexual way. There is a big difference between recognizing and admiring physical beauty and lusting after it. My own hubby is plenty handsome enough to satisfy me, not to mention my soulmate and best friend.
Having said that, if there is fantasizing or lusting going on then yes, of course it's wrong.
< Message edited by dance4joy -- 4/2/2008 11:52:45 AM >
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RE: Can being a fan also be cheating? - 4/2/2008 11:20:44 PM
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ObviousLee
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quote:
ORIGINAL: elastic
quote:
There are certain male actors who I think are particularly attractive (physically), but never once have I fantasized about any of them in a romantic or sexual way. There is a big difference between recognizing and admiring physical beauty and lusting after it. My own hubby is plenty handsome enough to satisfy me, not to mention my soulmate and best friend.
i agree 100%...i admire the hunka goodness in my avatar, but i have never fantasized about him. I enjoy watching his movies and have followed his career since i was a kid. and i have seen him in person, but never approached him or had my toungue wagging over him. my husband is all i need and want in a man, and he's georgeous to boot, but i don't feel an iota of guilt for having my "hollywood crush" on him.
nothing will ever come of it and if he walked up to me on the street and offered to marry me and take me away to his private island....i would think about it for 1 or 2 seconds, and then i would tell him that he waited too late. i am already married to the man i love and there is no place for him in my life.  (exept in my special edition dvd of the lost boys, or perhaps the complete 24 series  )
That's kind of what I mean. The Hollywood 'crush' is an accepted norm. It seems there's some sort of need to designate a particular icon, or "Hollywood Crush" that takes some sort of root at an adolescent age. I think this is probably more so with females. It may not be a sexual lust thing necessarily, but it seems somewhat similar to males idolizing male heroic figures (athletes, actors, etc.), except for the romantic element. Is it wrong (cheating)? I can't say for sure. It does however seem somewhat paradoxical. I don't think one would put a picture of a spouse's friend, or a random person deemed as attractive in their avatar. But if it's an 'designated' icon, there's a societal acceptance. Even if it's not a tongue wagging/lust oriented situation, often the designated celebrity icon is admired for a certain amount of sex appeal.
That being said, I quoted you since you brought your avatar up. I would normally of never given it a thought. However, if I put a photo in my avatar of a Sports Illustrated swim suit model, I would probably raise some eyebrows because our Christian culture deems this inappropriate, and is usually referred to as being lustful to the eyes.
< Message edited by ObviousLee -- 4/2/2008 11:44:09 PM >
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RE: Can being a fan also be cheating? - 4/3/2008 2:32:33 PM
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Kath
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ObviousLee
Even if it's not a tongue wagging/lust oriented situation, often the designated celebrity icon is admired for a certain amount of sex appeal.
That being said, I quoted you since you brought your avatar up. I would normally of never given it a thought. However, if I put a photo in my avatar of a Sports Illustrated swim suit model, I would probably raise some eyebrows because our Christian culture deems this inappropriate, and is usually referred to as being lustful to the eyes.
If you just had a picture of a SI swimsuit model, face only or with jeans and a tee, in other words clothes, I don't think it would be bad, but if you put her pic up in her swimsuit, then yeah, it would probably been seen as inappropriate. (not speaking as a mod)
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RE: Can being a fan also be cheating? - 4/4/2008 10:07:25 AM
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ObviousLee
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kath
quote:
ORIGINAL: ObviousLee
Even if it's not a tongue wagging/lust oriented situation, often the designated celebrity icon is admired for a certain amount of sex appeal.
That being said, I quoted you since you brought your avatar up. I would normally of never given it a thought. However, if I put a photo in my avatar of a Sports Illustrated swim suit model, I would probably raise some eyebrows because our Christian culture deems this inappropriate, and is usually referred to as being lustful to the eyes.
If you just had a picture of a SI swimsuit model, face only or with jeans and a tee, in other words clothes, I don't think it would be bad, but if you put her pic up in her swimsuit, then yeah, it would probably been seen as inappropriate. (not speaking as a mod)
True! Because then she would represent a personality. The swimsuit image has it's designated zones of appropriateness. An SI magazine with a swimsuit cover would be acceptable in many homes because many Christian men more than likely subscribe to the magazine. It wouldn't be appropriate in a church building. However, a Church group probably wouldn't isolate themselves from doing beach functions where it's the common attire. So, the 'swimsuit' itself has it's moments of appropriateness in even Christian culture.
The designated 'Hollywood crush' is something that's become accepted, and scene as innocent. It's something I've completely overlooked for years as well. It's something one must accept as something that comes with the package. But...any way one looks at it, it is in a way having another person in one's life bearing similar sentiments to what normally would only be designated upon a spouse. Even if it's not necessarily sexual perse.
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