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Factors Weighed for Marriage - 4/29/2008 12:39:19 AM
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lewbcw
Posts: 15
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline
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Hello Ladies,
I do not normally read this section much, nor post here, so please do forgive me if I have repeated a question that is already well addressed. (Feel free to refer me to any previous and/or ongoing posts that may have already covered this topic.)
I am curious what factors the single Christian women here weigh when considering two things: i.) Whom to marry?; and ii.) When to marry?
Do you find there to be any qualities you absolutely want in a mate (aside from their strong faith in Christ)? And two, when do you feel is the "right" time to marry if there is one. What goes into your thought processs concerning the timing of marriage? ...And lastly (this correlates with the second question), are there any things you absolutely want yourself to have or be at the time of your marriage?
That last question is actually something I have been thinking greatly about lately and could probably even create a separate post about. While I would absolutely love to have a wonderful marriage relationship with someone special, there are also many things about myself that I feel God is still working on and would be more ideal to have completed at the time of marriage. Do you ever have these types of thoughts about wanting to have a certain level of spiritual maturity and closeness to Christ before marriage? I have heard many singles and couples discuss the importance of financial security, which I think is very important (for a male to be an adequate provider) and other factors of the like, but for me, I have felt more and more that the most important thing God wants from me is a solid relationship with Him prior to marriage. Does that resonate with any of you all? What types of thoughts have you had about where God might want you to be, or do, or have, prior to marriage or even potentially engaging in a dating relationship?
I greatly look forward to hearing your answers and thank you ladies in advance. 
-lewbcw
< Message edited by lewbcw -- 4/29/2008 12:48:59 AM >
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RE: Factors Weighed for Marriage - 4/29/2008 12:48:29 AM
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lewbcw
Posts: 15
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline
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I'm sorry, I had forgotten to clarify that this is an open question to singles and married folks. I know my question specified single women, because that is what is relevant to me, but I'd be more than happy to also hear from married women who went through the same process and questions/thoughts when they were single.
Thanks so much,
-lewbcw
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RE: Factors Weighed for Marriage - 4/29/2008 6:16:05 AM
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car2ner
Posts: 1867
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just south of Atlanta GA
Status: offline
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quote:
I have felt more and more that the most important thing God wants from me is a solid relationship with Him prior to marriage. Does that resonate with any of you all?
This is vital. It is a deal breaker for many christian women. It is not that any of us feel like we've "arrived" but we should be well on our way in terms of trying to be the people God wants us to be. If you are fighting God, you will most likely end up fighting your spouse, too.
Dr. Neil Warren (of e-harmony fame) has brought up the idea of ten must haves and ten can't stands. I've done the lists and I highly recommend them. One of my can't stands is lying. One of my must haves is financial wisdom. Not going to included the others right now. I am sure the other women can add plenty more things from their ideas.
_____________________________
the journal of selling my wonderful home http://www.car2ner.2ya.com (my blog)
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RE: Factors Weighed for Marriage - 5/1/2008 12:52:44 PM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 3969
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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...... wow. So many questions... okay if I ramble?
I think things I consider are... that anything my future partner wants for us will not compromise my relationship with Christ in anyway.
It means sooo much to me for him to be grounded in Christ....
Financial security is important to a lot of women... that's just the way most of us are built... but that doesn't necessarily mean a man has to be debt free. A track record of responsibility is very cool...
When do we know when we are ready???
There's this thing called peace.... and it's soooo strong that it chases all the fear away... 
I think that if you feel you have more stuff to work on ... than that is what you must do...
... pursuing a relationship before you feel ready will only distract you from your goal and cause heartache for both parties. (Statement from my own life experiences.)
Did I hit any of your questions??
_____________________________
Sadly Sweet.
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RE: Factors Weighed for Marriage - 5/3/2008 12:56:14 PM
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ladyamythist
Posts: 56
Joined: 4/28/2008
Status: offline
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financially responsible...humor...intelligent...takes care of himself...but, most of all, a real deep walk with Jesus.
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