How much of my sordid past should I leave out when in a relationship or marriage?
View related threads:
(in this forum
| in all forums)
|
Logged in as: Guest
|
|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
|
[Poll]
|
How much of my sordid past should I leave out when in a relationship or marriage?
|
| A friend of mine got me into porn at age 7. |
|
| My sexual experiences as a child with other children. |
|
| Several years ago I used to visit strip clubs on a regular basis. |
|
| I have been with an escort (twice) and a prostitute. |
|
Total Votes : 15
|
(last vote on : 5/1/2008 1:01:03 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
|
|
Login  | |
|
How much of my sordid past should I leave out when in a... - 4/15/2008 1:43:03 PM
|
|
|
samnflo
Posts: 2
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline
|
Which of the following should I tell someone who I will get married to.
I dont' think there is anyway she could every find out about any of these.
I have cleaned myself up and do not participate in the following now (or within the past few years).
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How much of my sordid past should I leave out when ... - 4/15/2008 1:48:17 PM
|
|
|
ta_mosquito
Posts: 10672
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
Status: offline
|
Leave out the sordid details, but I think it's important when entering marriage to know about the other person's struggles in these areas.
_____________________________
Tricia
Beauty isn't in the eye of the beholder as much as beauty exists for those who have eyes to see it.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How much of my sordid past should I leave out when ... - 4/15/2008 4:09:28 PM
|
|
|
funny_girl
Posts: 607
Status: offline
|
samnflo,
Your past is still really bothering you a lot otherwise you wouldn't have brought it up like this.
Have you had some counseling about these areas? If not, I highly recommend that you seek a good counselor to help you work through these things.
You absolutely can have a beautiful marriage and freedom from your past and you don't want to carry all this baggage into a relationship. Bringing two people to live under the same house is hard enough without having had to deal with some of these issues.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How much of my sordid past should I leave out when ... - 4/15/2008 8:11:00 PM
|
|
|
samnflo
Posts: 2
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline
|
Yes, I have recieved counseling for these types of problems and am still recieving such therapy.
But I was wanting to know how much of these needs to be shared with someone I am headed toward marriage with.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How much of my sordid past should I leave out when ... - 4/15/2008 9:13:17 PM
|
|
|
Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 5863
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
|
Hi, samnflo. Each person/couple is different, so there is no easy answer. You certainly don't want to reveal everything when you first meet a person, but do be honest about who you are. Your struggles are what make you special. We all have struggles and we should be careful not to create a facade - that will keep others from getting to know the real you. If you have done something wrong in the past, be upfront about it. If she can't handle it, then she'll move on, and you'll be spared a difficult relationship. But know that some people will be very well equipped to deal with what you've been through. The hard part is, you don't know which one that will be.
If you're in a healthy relationship, there will come a time when you will feel comfortable sharing your past, but you will want to make sure this happens in plenty of time before you propose.
Is this your first relationship since you gave up your past? If so, you may find that your issues may pop up throughout the relationship. There's something about intimacy that brings us into closer contact with ourselves. If this is the case, you may want to discuss these things with your therapist for support.
_____________________________
John O's Angels
 L.M.S.T.
Dangerous When Bored
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How much of my sordid past should I leave out when ... - 4/16/2008 2:02:08 PM
|
|
|
stellaluna
Posts: 2737
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
I would think the most pressing issues would be whether you are infected with an STD--and if you haven't been tested, I suggest you do so--and whether you have fathered any children.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How much of my sordid past should I leave out when ... - 4/26/2008 11:06:18 PM
|
|
|
vixir
Posts: 90
Joined: 2/27/2007
Status: offline
|
Personally, I don't think you should hold anything from your future wife. You would be worse off by hiding it, and chancing her finding out and then leaving you because of it.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How much of my sordid past should I leave out when ... - 5/3/2008 12:59:06 PM
|
|
|
ladyamythist
Posts: 56
Joined: 4/28/2008
Status: offline
|
It's best to be truthful...some women don't want to marry someone that has that kind of past...the consequence of it is that it creeps back up and into things. So talk to her and be honest....it's what she thinks about you, not what we think.
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
