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My hidden secret - 7/28/2008 4:26:21 PM
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JenP
Posts: 12
Joined: 6/2/2005
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I need to know the answer to this. If I have done some things, including talked about someone behind their back and felt unrightfully angry at tehm for an actuion that I misunderstood by them to be negative...do I owe them the honesty to tell them what I did?
Now, I know and understand we are supposed to be honest! But how honest are we suppoed to be...I mean are there certain things that arent necessary to tell so that we dont REALLY hurt someone?
Also, if I am talking to other people this person knows well, do I bring up their names when I confess to her? Or would that be something I leave out because that would be sinful to talk about other people and their sin?
My sister in law outright asked me if I have been talking behind her back with her brother (my husband) and her sister (my other sister in law). It's true, I have. So, do I just confess to her waht part I have had in it? How dod I say it without throwing htem under the bus too?
Obviously when I confess it to her, she will know that means we all have discussed her. when I say leaving things out...she doesnt need to know details of what I said right? So confused!
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RE: My hidden secret - 7/28/2008 4:32:21 PM
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JimboFletch
Posts: 6504
Joined: 4/11/2005
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You owe nobody an explanation or an apology for talking about anything or anybody to your spouse.
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RE: My hidden secret - 7/28/2008 4:45:46 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1680
Joined: 9/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JenP
My sister in law outright asked me if I have been talking behind her back with her brother (my husband) and her sister (my other sister in law). It's true, I have. So, do I just confess to her waht part I have had in it? How dod I say it without throwing htem under the bus too?
Gossip is when we talk about someone where we are neither part of the problem or part of the solution. Otherwise it's sin.
What you say to your husband is your private business, and I never let people tell me a "secret" that I can't tell him. And I say so up front. The secret never goes beyond us.
But talking to your other sister-in-law #2 - was she part of the problem or solution? If not, then you have taken away from your SIL #1's good name, and that's theft and gossip.
In that case, I'd call SIL#2 and tell her you've gossiped and need to make it right. Then the two of you can go to #1 and confess your gossip and ask for forgiveness.
Even if she doesn't forgive it, you've gone as far as you can and the rest is up to her. Hopefully, she'll be willing and the wedge driven into the family will be removed.
Girt up your loins and go do the right thing, Sis. I am praying for you!
If it wasn't gossip, then you can fend off #1's question with, "There's nothing that needs discussing (or confessing)." And change the subject.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: My hidden secret - 8/17/2008 4:13:17 PM
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oceangirl
Posts: 12
Joined: 8/13/2008
Status: offline
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Ypu dont have to be puished by ur relatives. Be honest but u dont have to actually say what uv said. If they force u to tell them thyre bullying u
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