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My son has been going out with an older girl - 8/24/2008 7:11:52 PM
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Giulia
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From: Giulia
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He's 15, she's 16. I guess I shouldn't be too worried but to say it doesn't bother me is not true.
I saw on TV that Sharon Stone is going out with a 24 yo. Now I feel for that kids parents, geeez. Seems like these kids are looking for a mother and not a partner. I hope that's not the case with my son. One thing I must say is that women reach a physical peak at around 40, whereas men reach it about 18 so that puzzles me as to why God made it like that.
I asked him about her and he told me not to take it seriously that he's with her but he's not. It's hard to see your children get partners. I first went through all these emotions where I wanted to lash out at them and protect my innocent children. You know take out the baseball bat for the girl and offer out the female to a fight for the boys, but that's not really the case. I forget that they grow up and they want a partner and they also have a say.
I forget easily what I was like at that age. Striking a balance between offering them good advice without making judgement or being controlling is the way to do it. It does get hard, however.
I have told him about contraception and protection. I don't think he understands that it's sin. Most kids don't or if they do they are not quite ready to commit to the self control. I was like that.
< Message edited by Giulia -- 8/24/2008 7:20:22 PM >
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RE: My son has been going out with an older girl - 8/24/2008 8:23:04 PM
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Conundrum
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Oh, my.
A 15 year old boy dating a 16 year old girl is nothing to get your knickers in a twist over. It's less than 12 months' difference in ages. My goodness! This is no sin, nor is it unwise in and of itself.
Nowhere is there a rule that says a male must be older than a female in a relationship.
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RE: My son has been going out with an older girl - 8/24/2008 8:37:04 PM
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agapetos
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quote:
I saw on TV that Sharon Stone is going out with a 24 yo. Your son isn't dating someone that's what 20+ years older? He's dating someone that is a couple of years at most older than he is.
Given that girls mature more quickly than boys, perhaps you could take credit in the fact a slightly older girl finds your son mature enough to date?
How would you react if he was dating someone a year younger?
quote:
I don't think he understands that it's sin. Most kids don't or if they do they are not quite ready to commit to the self control. I was like that. Perhaps you're projecting how you were onto your son?
Just because he's a teenager, doesn't mean he's going to jump into bed with every girl he sees ~ if any. He may understand that it's wrong and decide to wait. There are plenty of kids around who will.
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RE: My son has been going out with an older girl - 8/25/2008 8:21:22 AM
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Giulia
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From: Giulia
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First of all I must apologise if I offended any females or males who are older than the other. It was not my intention. I guess for the first relationship I always get a little anxious for them.
quote:
Perhaps you're projecting how you were onto your son?
Like how? I don't think so. One doesn't have to project to know that testosterone sometimes leads people up the garden path without a hoe.
quote:
Nowhere is there a rule that says a male must be older than a female in a relationship.
Yes I realise. Just the way I was taught. I have seen women be as much as 11 yrs older and the relationship's been great. I think I'm being a bit of a prude.
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RE: My son has been going out with an older girl - 8/25/2008 1:24:12 PM
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ChiefWannahakaloogie
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my mom is three years older than my dad. they've been happy together for over 30 years.
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RE: My son has been going out with an older girl - 8/27/2008 12:03:29 AM
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1970rodney
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I never dated a women my age or younger. I dated one that was 10 years older, the next was 5 years older, and the last one is 14 months older. The last one I married 17 and a half years ago and have two children. Now he's just 15 so don't get to excited. Just pray he meets someone of the same faith.
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RE: My son has been going out with an older girl - 8/27/2008 3:35:47 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
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In terms of relationship, age is irrelevancy. Really, generally speaking, does love have a certain age requirement before it can be? No, it doesn't.
I'm with someone who is older than I am. It's the least thing I'm concerned with. There's more in a relationship than age. In fact, all things considered, age should become the least important. There's qualities, good and bad, in everyone regardless of their age.
Age holds no bearing over a relationship. Matureness, on the other hand, is something to be concerned about.
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RE: My son has been going out with an older girl - 8/27/2008 7:20:30 PM
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Giulia
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From: Giulia
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quote:
Age holds no bearing over a relationship. Matureness, on the other hand, is something to be concerned about.
Yes, I guess that sometimes age can relate to maturity but not always. Perhaps that is why this tradition of having the man older than the woman was made in the first place.
I guess what I don't like is a man who goes under the authority of his woman and an older woman suggests that. My husband was 7 yrs older than me but since then it's been younger men (I was in sin then). I was also the one with the most authority in those.
I notice a lot of younger guys like me but that is also because they want me to lead them or they want a mother or something like that. When a woman stands over her husbands he becomes effeminate, you know somewhat of a poofter and that is not the way God ordained the partnership. (btw I have poofter friends)
Also there is the point I made earlier than women reach a physical peak a lot later in life than men. The imbalance could potentially set up situations where the roles are reversed and that is perverse.
On the other hand women who are totally disempowered in their relationship are also not living the wholesome life God intended for us.
< Message edited by Giulia -- 8/27/2008 8:13:04 PM >
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RE: My son has been going out with an older girl - 8/27/2008 10:29:26 PM
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agapetos
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quote:
Also there is the point I made earlier than women reach a physical peak a lot later in life than men. The imbalance could potentially set up situations where the roles are reversed and that is perverse. Yes, but we're not talking a huge age difference with regard to your son and his gf are we? There's less than 2 years.
I know someone who's been married since she was 21 ~ he was 19 when they married. She's in her 60's now and they're still wonderfully happy.
How many gf's has your son had before this one?
_____________________________
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not using them in fruit salads!
My blog
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RE: My son has been going out with an older girl - 8/28/2008 7:41:59 PM
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Giulia
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From: Giulia
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quote:
How many gf's has your son had before this one?
Not sure. He said to me not to worry she isn't anybody for whom he is serious. That makes me worry. I think I'll just have to leave him in God's hands.
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RE: My son has been going out with an older girl - 8/30/2008 3:55:19 AM
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faroukfarouk
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Remember: prayer and Bible reading is the most effective means of birth control.
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