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Not quite convinced husbands - 7/28/2008 5:52:38 PM
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goodnsimple
Posts: 40
Joined: 7/28/2008
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Hello,
I am new to the forum, but it does seem that many people have disinterested and in some cases downright hostile responses from husbands/dads.
I am homeschooling one of four this year, trial basis, MY idea being if it works well, will bring home ds8 (in addition to ds11)
My husband has asked repeatedly what ds will be doing the two days (every other week) that I sleep. (I work FSSM nights, then 10 off) It doesn't matter that I go over what ds will be doing, or point out that the best local school only does four day weeks... this is a real sticking point for him.
He also is very concerned about the S-question. hence ds will be going to Band at the middle school.
I am struggling to do what I feel is the right thing for the children, while honoring the fact that their Father really is in charge.
He thinks hs are like men in Alaska... The odds are good that the goods are odd.
nevermind that there are plenty of odd kids in ps.
sigh.
sorry this is so long, just needed to vent.
thanks
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RE: Not quite convinced husbands - 7/28/2008 7:19:38 PM
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roligirl
Posts: 174
Joined: 8/4/2007
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If you have a conference still happening this summer in your area it might be helpful for you both to attend a HS 101 workshop;they answer lots of questions for skeptics. Reading HS publications, HSLDA has a great site that might be helpful for your husband. A local support group sometimes has parent meetings where you could meet other parents. Does your church or do you know of a church that has homeschool families?
Once your husband gets to know people, other families, that homeschool he will see that they are loving parents endeavoring to raise their children up after the Lord.
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RE: Not quite convinced husbands - 7/28/2008 10:30:19 PM
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cindybode
Posts: 1587
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Northwest PA
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Your husband is expecting homeschooling to look and work just like public schooling. It doesn't. That's a common misconception, especially among new homeschoolers, and the only real cure for that problem is time.
I think I would ask him if he trusts you. Does he, or does he not, trust you to find appropriate ways for your son to occupy his time while you sleep? If he says he does, then ask him to please relax and act like it. Not that you can't discuss it, of course, and tell him your ideas - I'm not trying to suggest that you just blow him off - but deep down the only reason for him to get stuck on this point is if he really doesn't trust you with your child, and then you can deal with that issue.
_____________________________
If you lock in any creature, from rats to chickens to pigs to people, 10 to 30 or more in a box and force feed them you'll create little monsters. Confinement Education School Operations (CESOs) just don't compare to naturally pastured free-ranged kids.
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RE: Not quite convinced husbands - 7/29/2008 11:01:58 AM
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goodnsimple
Posts: 40
Joined: 7/28/2008
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Cindybode,
Excellent idea... because I think he does trust me. He is as frustrated with this whole school thing as I am (public and private) He himself is such a social person, and going to school was a break for him as his mother was, well, unpredictable... and his sister was abusive. (she got better)
I hadn't even considered the above, but that trust is it exactly, he needs to trust that I am not like his mother, and Jasper is not (exactly) like him.
I also think his ideas are skewed by the homeschoolers in the area. Either hippies (very liberal) or fundamental... we do have aquaintances who homeschool, and people at church, but no one my son's age. The family who DH likes (respects) the most are leaving on a mission in Dec. and will probably put the kids in school for the fall semester. sigh. (they also have a boy close to Jaspers age)
We are more accidental hs... it just seems the best option for Jazz. I think next year, it would be so great to have both the boys home. The girls will be out of the house, and we could schedule our lives so much more for ourselves. But if they are into sports... well back to schedules, and probably school. it is a trade off.
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RE: Not quite convinced husbands - 7/29/2008 3:27:49 PM
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cindybode
Posts: 1587
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Northwest PA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: goodnsimple
I also think his ideas are skewed by the homeschoolers in the area.
Maybe. Remind him that with homeschooling families, what you see is rarely what you get. For instance, if he met our family he would probably think we NEVER "do school" and that my kids aren't getting much of an education. I can totally understand how he might think that, especially as a new homeschooler, but he'd be wrong. The whole point of homeschooling is to do what fits your family, and not worry about what everybody else is doing.
Remind him that this will be a learning experience for everyone, and it takes some time to a) figure out a style of homeschooling that fits you and b) figure out a routine that will works. Again, if he trusts you, he needs to be patient. I read somewhere that if you kept your kid home and didn't teach him anything, and then put him in school in 8th grade, it would take him 1 year to catch up to his peers. You're not going to do any damage in a year.
_____________________________
If you lock in any creature, from rats to chickens to pigs to people, 10 to 30 or more in a box and force feed them you'll create little monsters. Confinement Education School Operations (CESOs) just don't compare to naturally pastured free-ranged kids.
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RE: Not quite convinced husbands - 7/29/2008 11:22:27 PM
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goodnsimple
Posts: 40
Joined: 7/28/2008
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Cindybode,
That is true, that I cannot do too much damage in a year. Nothing worse than second grade, which was a disaster.
Luckily, we have done pretty good with our projects this summer, so he is feeling a little better with it, and that ds can take band at the middle school.
We memorized the Jaberwock, and did some related art... we have done some of the T4L lessons, and typing, plus while I was taking my class, the boys did writing every day. Since I am done until Aug. 18th, I have given us all a break... but we are finding all the educational websites and making a folder for my sleeping days.
I noticed in another post that you are (also) an RN... and work full time?! Does your husband help a lot? DH has agreed to check math.
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RE: Not quite convinced husbands - 7/31/2008 10:54:55 PM
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goodnsimple
Posts: 40
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline
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Cindybode,
Her children will rise up and call her blessed!!
(someday)
I think DH may be getting into the groove, now that we are officially signed up for band and he will get to socialize I think that was a big point for DH.
We went today to sign up... Jazz showed his little brother the lockers and said "That is why I don't want to come to this school. I am pretty sure I would fit into one of these. That is where they put the little guys like me."
So I feel pretty good about my decision. We will see how band goes, and if he gets a handle on reading and if he hits a growth spurt... and see what happens.
I have written out a lesson plan for day one and two... I don't know how much I want to commit to paper as I may change it. I think most of my record keeping will be for DH, as the state doesn't really care.
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RE: Not quite convinced husbands - 7/31/2008 11:35:39 PM
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cindybode
Posts: 1587
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Northwest PA
Status: offline
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You might want to ask your dh how much he needs to see to keep him comfortable. He might not care if you have a lesson plan, and if he doesn't care, and the state doesn't care, then you don't need the busy work.
_____________________________
If you lock in any creature, from rats to chickens to pigs to people, 10 to 30 or more in a box and force feed them you'll create little monsters. Confinement Education School Operations (CESOs) just don't compare to naturally pastured free-ranged kids.
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That is actually one of the biggest reasons I got interested in "unschooling" - because if we had to follow a curriculum, it would have been very difficult to keep up with. Interest-led education fits my kids and our life, so it works well for us.
