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Older Parents Chat

 
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Older Parents Chat - 10/5/2008 2:19:49 AM   
Memaw.


Posts: 2371
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
Status: offline
So, your child is now a teen, young adult or married and on their own?
This is the place for you!

None of those "up-all-night-baby-crying-diaper-changing-didn't-get-a-shower-because-the-kid-is-puking-everywhere" discussions here!

No sirree bob, this is the place for us to chat about our grown (or nearly grown) children, our grandchildren, or great grandchildren.
This is the place to talk about the vacations we can plan that do not include "did you bring the pack and play?" and discussion that doesn't have "how many car seats does that particular van hold?"

I'll start.
My name is Kim.
I am 46, married to Rick.
We have 5 children ranging in age from 28-16 and three granddaughters (who are the apple of my eye).

I have been looking forward to this part of my life for awhile now.

Does that mean I didn't enjoy my little ones?
No, I enjoyed them tremendously, it's just that they are on their own (all but the 16 yr old) and a new chapter of my life is starting, so I embrace this as well as I embraced the past chapters.

I so much enjoy that Rick and I can on the spur of the moment get up and go shopping, go for an overnight trip, or just out to the movies without packing a diaper bag and kitchen sink.

We are learning each other in new ways, and sometimes that's real hard to do because lots of times without the topic of kids, we don't have a lot to talk about..LOL

So now, your turn.
Come on in, get comfy and let's chat.

*If you do not fit the criteria, feel free to read and ask advice, but this is a thread for older parents of older children, so let's keep it on topic ok?*

_____________________________

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.
Every generation has to learn how to protect and defend it, or it's gone
and gone for a long, long time."
Ronald Reagan
Post #: 1
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/5/2008 5:47:28 PM   
HisLamb26


Posts: 366
Joined: 4/17/2005
Status: offline
Hi Memaw,
Yea-I don't miss the "my baby was up all night puking so I didn't get a shower" days!

I am HisLamb26

I am 44, been married 20yrs. Have 3 kids, 20 thru 10.

Not sure if I can partipcate here "fully", as I still have children "on the cusp"-but one is pretty much grown.

Perhaps I should start a support thread for parents of BOTH grown kids and tweens?



[I'm kidding-just poking fun @ the support thread "brouhaha". (?sp)]

_____________________________

Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.  ~Pat Robertson
Post #: 2
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/5/2008 5:52:10 PM   
HisLamb26


Posts: 366
Joined: 4/17/2005
Status: offline
So,
What do I like about having older/grown kids?

I can go to Walmart by myself.

I can load the family in the car without dealing with car seats. All I have to do is unlock the doors-they all can buckle themselves now.

I can leave them alone, and don't have to pay a sitter.

They bathe themselves.

They feed themselves. (I just put the food in front of them)

They take care of their own toileting needs and cleanup.

My oldest drives and has his own car, so I am taxi=mom for only 2 now.

_____________________________

Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.  ~Pat Robertson
Post #: 3
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/5/2008 5:57:16 PM   
Memaw.


Posts: 2371
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
Status: offline
Hislamb,
I think you qualify.

Welcome to the thread.

_____________________________

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.
Every generation has to learn how to protect and defend it, or it's gone
and gone for a long, long time."
Ronald Reagan
Post #: 4
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/5/2008 6:59:52 PM   
shadowspring


Posts: 1622
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline
Hi. My name is shadowspring and I am the parent of two teens.

(All: Hi, shadowspring)



Actually, I love my teens and the teen years. The oldest is in college (freshman) and the youngest in high school (freshman).

We have many awesome conversations about all kinds of things. They are a blast.

_____________________________

"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
Post #: 5
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/5/2008 7:04:23 PM   
Memaw.


Posts: 2371
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
Status: offline
Hi shadowspring!
Welcome

It is great to be able to have an adult conversation with your child.
I love who my kids are growing up to be, and seeing the reward for all my efforts.

_____________________________

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.
Every generation has to learn how to protect and defend it, or it's gone
and gone for a long, long time."
Ronald Reagan
Post #: 6
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/5/2008 8:15:48 PM   
PrincessDonna


Posts: 10420
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
Thanks for reminding this mom of three in car seats that these days don't last forever.

Ohmyword though...seriously, do you all remember how hard it was to take your small herd out places?


_____________________________

<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!!

Post #: 7
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/5/2008 8:27:12 PM   
manda59


Posts: 6025
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
My name's Manda.
Been married to Dave for 25 years.
We have two children: Jonathan aged 19 and Sarah aged 15.

LOVE this teen time, but it's also quite scary - both for the "letting go" POV and also for the "getting nearer and nearer to the time they leave home" POV

_____________________________

"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
Post #: 8
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/5/2008 9:12:11 PM   
stampinlady


Posts: 1539
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Northern IL
Status: offline
Memaw, this is really a older parent support thread isn't it!!!!!!!!

My dd is 14, is a freshy, has a boy friend and is going to homecoming. Hellllllllllllllllllp. Ok, they don't go out on dates 'cause she can't date yet, but he likes her and she likes him. This boy asked her to homesoming the 4th day of school. I'm not quite ready for this stage of life yet. Where's my baby????? Ds is 13 and in 8th grade. He talks alot, plays computer games, still likes to be cuddled and is a goofball at times. No girls in the picture yet, but notices them alot.

_____________________________

Deb
Post #: 9
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/5/2008 9:25:51 PM   
ladyingrace1979


Posts: 363
Joined: 3/14/2008
From: Fresno CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisLamb26

So,
What do I like about having older/grown kids?

I can go to Walmart by myself.

I can load the family in the car without dealing with car seats. All I have to do is unlock the doors-they all can buckle themselves now.

I can leave them alone, and don't have to pay a sitter.

They bathe themselves.

They feed themselves. (I just put the food in front of them)

They take care of their own toileting needs and cleanup.

My oldest drives and has his own car, so I am taxi=mom for only 2 now.

I guess I'm sort of in between stages. So where do we match in this? Get to go to Wal-mart, but dd #1 age 13 still likes to come. My twins are #10 but because they are so physically small they have boosters, but they can buckle themselves. DD#1 is our babysitter for her sisters and she usually does it for cheep. Bathing, feeding, etc. Yes thank you Jesus! Driving (Yikes! )Not yet. So definitely in the middle.
The best thing now is I like who they are becoming, my kids still need me some but I can talk to them more.
So if it's O.K. I may come in for advice on teen and tween years.
Kim Q
Post #: 10
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/5/2008 9:27:07 PM   
Memaw.


Posts: 2371
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
Status: offline
quote:

do you all remember how hard it was to take your small herd out places?


Absolutely remember.

quote:

LOVE this teen time, but it's also quite scary - both for the "letting go" POV and also for the "getting nearer and nearer to the time they leave home" POV

Manda, welcome to the thread!
It is hard, the "inbetween" time.

I had one DD who flew the minute she turned 18, of course she had been standing on the edge of the nest since she was about 14...flapping those little wings.
Another DDs' husband nearly had to drag her to her own nest.

The main thing I have learned since 4 of 5 have left is to make sure they take everything they own otherwise they come back.
No, seriously, it is sad when they leave, I miss my babies but so much enjoy my children at this age too.

quote:

Memaw, this is really a older parent support thread isn't it!!!!!!!!


Deb, you betcha it is!!!!
As you get older, we need all the support (bra, stocking, truss..whatever) we can get!!!!

Welcome welcome welcome!!
I'm so glad you all are showing up here!

_____________________________

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.
Every generation has to learn how to protect and defend it, or it's gone
and gone for a long, long time."
Ronald Reagan
Post #: 11
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/5/2008 9:28:09 PM   
Memaw.


Posts: 2371
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
Status: offline
quote:

So if it's O.K. I may come in for advice on teen and tween years.

Absolutely!!

_____________________________

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.
Every generation has to learn how to protect and defend it, or it's gone
and gone for a long, long time."
Ronald Reagan
Post #: 12
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/5/2008 9:58:40 PM   
PrincessDonna


Posts: 10420
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
quote:

make sure they take everything they own otherwise they come back.




_____________________________

<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!!

Post #: 13
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/5/2008 10:13:30 PM   
cindybode


Posts: 1547
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Northwest PA
Status: offline
Hi, I'm Cindy. I'm 48 and have 5 kids 22-11.

You're right, if they don't take all their stuff, they come back. Mine came back and brought someone else with her.

_____________________________

If you lock in any creature, from rats to chickens to pigs to people, 10 to 30 or more in a box and force feed them you'll create little monsters. Confinement Education School Operations (CESOs) just don't compare to naturally pastured free-ranged kids.
Post #: 14
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/5/2008 10:18:09 PM   
Memaw.


Posts: 2371
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cindybode

Hi, I'm Cindy. I'm 48 and have 5 kids 22-11.

You're right, if they don't take all their stuff, they come back. Mine came back and brought someone else with her.


LOL

Cindy, welcome to the thread!

That reminds me of my #2 granddaughter.
Her mom, dad, baby sister and her lived with us until a little over a year ago. When they moved out, granddaughter "hid" some of her stuff here so she would have to come back "home".

Each visit ends up with her "forgetting" something here.

I think she is slowly moving back in.

_____________________________

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.
Every generation has to learn how to protect and defend it, or it's gone
and gone for a long, long time."
Ronald Reagan
Post #: 15
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/6/2008 11:51:28 AM   
shadowspring


Posts: 1622
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline
Well, so far my oldest comes back every weekend, but I am happy with that!

In fact, I hope she starts bringing other college students with her. I love a full house.

On the other hand, once she graduates, I expect her to move away to wherever the work is to be found. I am pretty sure that we will stay in close communication even then, though.

Does anyone else love myspace and TMing to keep in touch with their older children? It is far less intrusive than a phone call, and more interactive than a snail mail.

It makes me feel really connected to get/give good morning and good night TMs. She knows I love her and she is still a part of our hearts without us being "all up in her business".

_____________________________

"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
Post #: 16
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/6/2008 11:59:23 AM   
stampinlady


Posts: 1539
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Northern IL
Status: offline
quote:

As you get older, we need all the support (bra, stocking, truss..whatever) we can get!!!!


LOL, a little support is always welcomed.

Dd and I have to go out and buy her a dress this week for homecoming. Her bf came by yesterday ti pick up a book and they were kind of cute just talking on the porch. I sent ds out there to supervise, hee hee.

Hope you guys have a good day.

_____________________________

Deb
Post #: 17
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/6/2008 1:08:19 PM   
Memaw.


Posts: 2371
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
Status: offline
quote:

Does anyone else love myspace and TMing to keep in touch with their older children? It is far less intrusive than a phone call, and more interactive than a snail mail.


Our preferred method is text messaging.
I usually hear from DD #2 about once a week (unless she needs money then it's a whole lot more) and DD #1 is every day (she lives in same town).

_____________________________

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.
Every generation has to learn how to protect and defend it, or it's gone
and gone for a long, long time."
Ronald Reagan
Post #: 18
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/6/2008 1:45:41 PM   
zoebob


Posts: 8767
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: land of limbo
Status: offline
Well, I'm starting to move into this stage. I feel I'm this way more than the baby stage. Oldest is 12. Youngest is 7 but can do his own seatbelt (now shoes are another issue). He'll be out of a booster seat in about 6 weeks. I can leave them for relatively short periods of time: an hour or two in certain combinations.

_____________________________

L-R: DD1, Ellies DS2, DD2, Ellies DS1
L-R: Ellies DD1, Ellies DD2, DS, Ellies DS3
Post #: 19
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/6/2008 2:10:31 PM   
shadowspring


Posts: 1622
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Memaw.

quote:

Does anyone else love myspace and TMing to keep in touch with their older children? It is far less intrusive than a phone call, and more interactive than a snail mail.


Our preferred method is text messaging.
I usually hear from DD #2 about once a week (unless she needs money then it's a whole lot more) and DD #1 is every day (she lives in same town).



LOL! Mine is still definitely our dependent. Maybe that's why we TM so much.

In fact, she forgot something yesterday so I will take it to her tonight and we'll go pick up a few things while we have the chance (got coupons!).

_____________________________

"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
Post #: 20
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/6/2008 2:25:00 PM   
2shaye


Posts: 5417
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: So. Cal.
Status: offline
Hi! I'm almost 45 and have an almost 23 year old son and a 13 year old daughter. My son will be getting married next July. For now, he still lives with us. Actually, I look forward to the day that he moves out on his own. Another independent adult in the house often causes conflict. My worries for him, these days, are about purity. He and his gf say they want to wait, but I know the struggles and I don't always agree with the decisions they make (duh!). Once they are married, then I will anxiously await my first grandbaby!

My dd is quite a handful at this age. She is not boy crazy, so that's not our issue as of yet. She is a really great young woman and when she is "good" I love to be around her. She is the focus of dh's and my prayer concerns, conversations and thoughts. We really want to do the right thing!

Do any of you with married kids have struggles with your parents or in-laws about your married kids? My mil is driving me nuts about wanting to know EVERY detail about my son's life. She bugs him to the point that he won't answer her calls or return emails. Any suggestions on how to cope?

_____________________________

aka Skipperjoe

I Love New York!
Post #: 21
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/6/2008 2:49:56 PM   
CoeurdeLeon_


Posts: 9470
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
Status: offline
Cool thread, Kim.

I'm 43 and have a 15yr old girl who just went out on her first date this weekend and a 12 yr old boy who lives to get my goat.

I've always loved my kids but, the older they get and the more they become their own people, the more I truly LIKE them. They're pretty cool to be around. That may be because I don't have to carry them everywhere anymore, though.

_____________________________

This morning I was awakened by the sound of purple
colliding with the fragrance of laughter.
Eutychus







10.13.08
Post #: 22
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/6/2008 2:54:58 PM   
shadowspring


Posts: 1622
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline
2shaye,

He could try writing her regularly. Or perhaps her son could?

Pick up some postcards or small notecards, stamp them and address them and make them part of the Sunday routine. He wouldn't have to write much, just say what ya'll are having for Sunday dinner, how happy the kids are to be getting married, etc.

Your MIL is probably just lonely. I think it must be really hard to be so far removed from the excitement of youth. I am not looking forward to it, that's for sure.

_____________________________

"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
Post #: 23
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/6/2008 2:57:05 PM   
shadowspring


Posts: 1622
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline
CourdeLion,

quote:

'm 43 and have a 15yr old girl who just went out on her first date this weekend and a 12 yr old boy who lives to get my goat.


I remember I used to tease one of my foster son's by asking if he wanted his goat back after he would get upset.

_____________________________

"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
Post #: 24
RE: Older Parents Chat - 10/6/2008 3:00:02 PM   
doinkdom


Posts: 4279
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
Status: offline
Finally! A thread just for us so we don't pass on our outdated, cavewomanish and dare I say, biblical child-rearing knowledge...we'll just erase Titus from the bible.

I am 50, have 2 grown daughters (32 and 29). Most of my heartburn comes from the 29 yr old...prolly cause we both have red hair.

But I love my grandbabies - I have 7, ages 10 months to 10 years.

_____________________________


Cool drinks served daily at Oasis
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Post #: 25
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