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Seeking Prayer - 5/6/2008 4:12:53 AM
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aboybrush3dred
Posts: 1
Joined: 5/6/2008
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Well Honestly I Don't Know Where Quite to Begin. I guess First off I'm a 18 year old College Student still living with my parents and struggling with Depression. Both My Parents are Christians and I personally until recently never put too much thought into religion to be quite honest. I would attend church with my parents on occasion through out my childhood but never felt like I had a personal relationship with God up until I'd say my senior year in high school when i was struggling with things I just decided to pray and I used it as more of a way to vent, never really expecting results. None the Less Night after Night I would just lay in bed and Talk with God. Little By Little Things Did Improve, but as things improved I felt as though i no longer needed to pray and that I could handle things on my own. . . .. So couple Months go down the Road its Summer after Graduation before I start College. I Meet a Girl. A Special Girl I end up Falling in love with who happens to be Bi-Polar. Now 10 months about go by after meeting this girl. During this time we have many hardships due to her disorder but none that compare the events of the Past Week. 10 days ago on a Sunday, me and her get into a little argument that escalates and ends up with things being unresolved that day. The Following Day while I was at home, I get a call from her crying and just repeating how she hates me over and over but for some reason asks me to hurry to her for some reason. So without question I head over to her School, where she is taking photography. I go to her classroom and find it empty but the darkroom door open. I enter the darkroom and Cannot See Anything. I only hear her crying. My eyes finally adjust and see I her leaned against a wall. I immediately hug her and tell her i love her. She Hugs me back Firm but still Crying. As I pull my Arms Back after hugging her. I notice something smeared against my arms. I pull out my phone for light and discover that Blood is on my arms and a great deal of it. I point the light from the phone at her and see that her Left Wrist has Several Vertical Cuts in it. I Panic Call the Police and start Crying and Holding Her. I thought I was going to lose her in my arms. She becomes angry with me for calling the police and decides her classroom before the police arrive. She ends up leaving the classroom still bleeding with me following after her untill she turns to me and looks me in the eyes and just says " I hate you Leave me Alone". I respond by telling her i will as long as she goes to the nurse. She leaves, i'm not quite sure where she went at this point because alls I managed to do was fall to the ground and have a panic attack still covered in her blood. My parents end up taking me home and My girlfriend is later that night released from the hospital. Due to the events of that day now. Our Relationship pretty much was shattered. which has really taken an affect on me because well I made my relationship with her the main focus of my life. I've fallen back really hard into my depression. For the First Couple Days I just didnt eat or Drink or think, was just sort of numb. now after a couple days pass and I receive news that due to my grades i may no longer able to attend my school much longer. This further pushed down my mood and outlook to the point where all my thoughts were of Suicide and how badly i wanted to end up my life. On top of these thoughts I am having constant panic attacks now and night terrors about the event with my girlfriend.My dad could tell how things were affecting me and decided to pull me aside for a talk. My Dad tells me of how he once had very similar thoughts to the ones i was having about suicide. He talks about how through prayer and a relationship with god he managed to overcome these things and suggested that I put things in Gods hands.
which I suppose is why I am here typing this
I Guess I just Pray that I let God into My life so that He can do his will
As well as I Pray My Girlfriend improves mentally and emotionally
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RE: Seeking Prayer - 5/6/2008 5:16:32 AM
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Keabird
Posts: 941
Joined: 4/11/2005
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I am praying for you and your friend. Know that both of you are very, very precious to God and there is nothing in your life that He does not know about or understand. He is right there with you. He loves your friend very much too and wants to fill her (and you) with joy and hope. I wait on Him to do that.
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
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RE: Seeking Prayer - 5/6/2008 7:01:29 AM
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tbrobinson
Posts: 211
Joined: 5/11/2005
From: MIAMI Florida
Status: online
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Bipolar is a very complicated deal, being mildly bipolar myself I can identify. Dont always take what they say in an episode as what they really feel.
God, please be with these children, shelter them from the enemy, let them feel your love. I pray they would grow in you, get to know you.
In Jesus name I pray.
Amen
_____________________________
Psalm 118.5/6 In my anguish I cried out to the Lord and he answered me by setting me free. The Lord is with me, I will not be afraid.
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RE: Seeking Prayer - 5/6/2008 7:38:54 AM
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barbi
Posts: 1601
Joined: 5/22/2005
From: New York
Status: offline
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will be praying
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RE: Seeking Prayer - 5/6/2008 9:11:32 AM
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lightshineon
Posts: 3305
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Hi, this is deep, I understand somewhat my DD in college is dating a guy, that is mentall ill, it is strange, and unhealthy for her.
Lord, open eyes of these children heal mind, bodies, souls, and lives. Lord break the strongholds of unhealthy relationships, the Spirit of hopelessness, and suicide and defeat.
Lord let us not be unequaly yoked, as in your word. Help these young people suceed in school. Open new doors, where others ones have been shut, Let these young people what seems lke the end of the world now, will not even seem that important a year from now. Be with them, help them to see you are for them and that your love for them passess our human understanding.
In Jesus name, Amen
_____________________________
Remember, whenever you have pearls, there are always plenty of pigs nearby who would be glad to step on them.
F.T., 2007
Be sure you vote for those, whose views you want your children to emulate.
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RE: Seeking Prayer - 5/6/2008 11:09:28 AM
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peaceofGod
Posts: 6242
Joined: 11/30/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Keabird
I am praying for you and your friend. Know that both of you are very, very precious to God and there is nothing in your life that He does not know about or understand. He is right there with you. He loves your friend very much too and wants to fill her (and you) with joy and hope. I wait on Him to do that.
This is my prayer, too.
_____________________________
Jim
Jn 14:27; Phil 4:6-8
Jim's Blog
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