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Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/17/2008 11:20:17 PM
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Prairiehiker
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As a former beach bunny, I used to wear the tinniest thing I can find when I go to the beach. Now, after reading how visually wired men are, what are your suggestions for women to wear at the beach. I love going to the beach, but the last few times I went, I started feeling self conscious and felt like I was inappropriately showing some skin. But, I mean, how can you not, when you're at the beach??? I wore a tank top and a sarong skirt over my swim suit and didn't take them off the whole day.
How can women dress appropriately for these type of activities?
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/18/2008 10:01:10 AM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
As a former beach bunny, I used to wear the tinniest thing I can find when I go to the beach. Now, after reading how visually wired men are, what are your suggestions for women to wear at the beach. I love going to the beach, but the last few times I went, I started feeling self conscious and felt like I was inappropriately showing some skin. But, I mean, how can you not, when you're at the beach??? I wore a tank top and a sarong skirt over my swim suit and didn't take them off the whole day.
How can women dress appropriately for these type of activities?
For some men, any woman dressed in less than head to toe covering will be too much exposed. These men should avoid the beach.
A lot of the visual aspect is determined by what is the norm for the moment. The norm for most beaches today is a swimsuit that covers top and bottom. I think it's possible to be totally modest and wear something similar to what most of the rest of the people on the beach are wearing. (tailored to your body type of course).
As an example. A normal bikini is so common on the beach that very few would bat an eye. A string thong however would cause some men to get whiplash as their heads spun to look. It stands out in the crowd and loses the modesty of commonality.
From a slightly different angle, a very good looking woman dressed very conservatively would still be calling attention to herself as she stands out in the crowd.
Somewhere there is a happy and healthy medium.
< Message edited by John_O -- 4/18/2008 10:07:34 AM >
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/18/2008 10:32:15 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 1238
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
I wore a tank top and a sarong skirt over my swim suit and didn't take them off the whole day.
How can women dress appropriately for these type of activities?
in our bible study for the teens two days ago we talked about abusing our physical body in ways God does not approve - intimidation, sweet talking, threats, dressing in a manner where one desires others to lust after them. so i think it boils down to if a woman even wants to dress appopriately. the fact you are thinking about it shows where your heart is. i think the attire you described is definately modest and a good example to your daughter as that factors into the answer as well. personally i don't want my daughter wearing uncovered two piece bathing suits for a long time and children will often model their parents behavior. yes the rest of the beach may be wearing it, but since when do we follow the world? i'm not saying by any means its wrong to wear a bikini, but there is a lot to consider.
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/18/2008 10:48:42 AM
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Prairiehiker
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Thanks for the replies.
During spring break, my daughter and I went to a huge waterslide park where there were tonnes of people. My daughter was wearing a two piece. She is only 11 years old, but kids nowadays are already developed at that age. She's tall and slim and looks about 14. It made me so angry to see grown men staring at her! She's only a kid! Then I realize that she doesn't look like a kid and men will stare if they see something that they find visually apppealing. I also realize that her choice of swim suit came from me as I used to wear those things myself.
In the past, I didn't really care about how people stared and how people react to my immodest nature wasn't my problem. I flaunt it when I can. It's not until I got injured and was questioning God about my injuries that God taught me what my body is for. I was at a physio's office when a thought came to me. It's as though God said to me that my legs are not merely for running or sports, but they are first and foremost, for doing the works of God (playign with my kid, running errands for those who can't). Then one by one, I sense that God told me that my lips are made to praise Him, to bless others, etc, my hands are made to create, my eyes are made to admire His creations, etc, etc. Now, I'm getting a good picture of what my whole entire body is designed for and I'm changing the way I present it to the world around me. I'm designed so that I can worship the Lord through every thing I do with my physical body.
No more flaunting in skimpy bikini, lol. The only thing is it's so hard to toss the football around in a sarong skirt, lol. Ah well!
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/23/2008 7:50:18 AM
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buckifn
Posts: 1963
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quote:
ow can women dress appropriately for these type of activities?
I say wear what makes you happy. I don't get the whole thing of trying on or buying 15 bikini's for a day at the beach.
Not everyone is obsessed with what a person's clothes look like.
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/23/2008 12:30:48 PM
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DaveW
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I always find that swimwear, no matter how skimpy, is much less sexy than other street cloths which cover up more.
Dunno why?
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/23/2008 5:33:42 PM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
ORIGINAL: buckifn
quote:
ow can women dress appropriately for these type of activities?
I say wear what makes you happy. I don't get the whole thing of trying on or buying 15 bikini's for a day at the beach.
Not everyone is obsessed with what a person's clothes look like.
It wasn't an obsession about clothing. It's a question about what men views as decent and modest and what is not?
To phrase it differently, what would you prefer your wife to wear when you go to the beach?
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/23/2008 6:02:09 PM
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buckifn
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quote:
To phrase it differently, what would you prefer your wife to wear when you go to the beach?
Whatever makes her happy.
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/23/2008 8:00:25 PM
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mrtigger
Posts: 321
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
It wasn't an obsession about clothing. It's a question about what men views as decent and modest and what is not?
To phrase it differently, what would you prefer your wife to wear when you go to the beach?
Some guys, even some Christian ones, get off on their wife wearing provacative clothing and/or flirting with other guys. They get an ego boost or something out of other guys being attracted to their wife. My point being is that a husbands opinion of what his wife should or shouldn't wear is not always a good indicator of modesty.
Personally, I don't have any problem with bikinis on the beach or pool. Actually I find one piece suits (which most persons consider modest) to be more sexually interesting than bikinis. Don't know why but I do. A woman could even be naked at the beach and I would not likely find it to be a lust problem for me. My significant lust problems mostly originate from the attitude & behaviours of the female and have not much to do with what she is wearing.
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/23/2008 8:05:46 PM
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Technophile
Posts: 28
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
It wasn't an obsession about clothing. It's a question about what men views as decent and modest and what is not?
To phrase it differently, what would you prefer your wife to wear when you go to the beach?
i consider a typical bikini to be modest and decent. what i would consider NOT modest or decent would be those string bikinis...where there's hardly a difference between being naked! if i had a wife, i think i would be fine with her wearing a bikini to the beach, but ive never been married so i cant say through experience.
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/23/2008 8:34:09 PM
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1love1God1way
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Solution.
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/23/2008 10:11:45 PM
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APZR
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I put my daughters in a one piece for the beach or for skiing... because like mentioned before, parts can go missing. Other wise, they wear a typical two piece... no high cut or tie strings reveling unmentionables, just a regular bikini. If that is too much, then you have deep problems and need to check the status of your own desires and motivations.
< Message edited by APZR -- 4/23/2008 10:19:15 PM >
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/24/2008 8:16:13 AM
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YZGUY
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Prariehiker, I greatly appreciate your desire to honor God with your body and to seek His direction in regards to modesty. I think there are a few principles to keep in mind when making the decision, like the the principles of loving your neighbor, not being a stumbling block, seeking God's praise and not the praise of men, among a few. Though I'm probably taking some of these out of context, I think showing more skin increases the chances of being a stumbling block of lust (though, I see some may disagree) and so may not be as loving towards your brothers, and is quite possible seeking the looks of men (only you and God can search your heart in this).
Regardless, it is what is in the man's heart that causes him to sin, to look, and to lust. (It would be helpful, however, to not have all the opportunities to lust as what is seen on TV, Billboards, the beach, people's outfits, etc. - though each of these are opportunities to honor God with my thoughts, eyes, and heart.) Personally, I appreciate it when a godly woman makes the sacrifice to God by pursuing modesty and seeking His will. So thanks!
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/24/2008 6:34:49 PM
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figmentPez
Posts: 2770
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From: TX
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
As a former beach bunny, I used to wear the tinniest thing I can find when I go to the beach.
I'm curious, why did you choose to wear the tiniest thing you could find? This question isn't just rhetorical, because I've honestly heard women argue that somehow a string bikini is more comfortable than other choices. (Which I find quite puzzling, and unbelievable.)
And, there-in I think you'll find your answer for how to choose swimwear. Look to your motivation for choosing what you do. If you find yourself choosing because of practicality and function, I say that's when you're most likely to be choosing correctly. However, if you find yourself choosing because you want to show off your body, get attention, be desired or other wrong motives, then you're for sure making a wrong choice.
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/25/2008 1:34:48 PM
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ta_mosquito
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/26/2008 1:01:11 AM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
ORIGINAL: figmentPez
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
As a former beach bunny, I used to wear the tinniest thing I can find when I go to the beach.
I'm curious, why did you choose to wear the tiniest thing you could find? This question isn't just rhetorical, because I've honestly heard women argue that somehow a string bikini is more comfortable than other choices. (Which I find quite puzzling, and unbelievable.)
And, there-in I think you'll find your answer for how to choose swimwear. Look to your motivation for choosing what you do. If you find yourself choosing because of practicality and function, I say that's when you're most likely to be choosing correctly. However, if you find yourself choosing because you want to show off your body, get attention, be desired or other wrong motives, then you're for sure making a wrong choice.
I thought this was a good response. But I started thinking about how my motivation shouldn't be the only judge of my action because we also have people around us who are affected by how we act. I can be motivated to wear something that's comfortable to me, but if it causes my brothers to stumble, then, perhaps, that should also be considered.
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/28/2008 3:11:05 PM
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gengwall
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From: MN
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There are two sides to the story when it comes to any clothing/behavior decisions. The beach is simply not a modest (in terms of skin exposure) place. As such, men who have a problem with such exposure should avoid going there or at least take measures to govern their eyes (I don't wear my glasses at the beach, so everyone looks like a blurry blob). Having said that, there are certainly more and less modest kinds of beach apparel. If you are wearing anything to overtly attract sexual attention, you are being immodest, even if it doesn't have that affect on anyone observing you. But I don't think you need to resort to the head to toe woolen bathing suits* of the "gay nineties" (as in 1890's) either. Many of the above posters are correct, some men will get off regardless of what or how much you wear.
So, where do you strike the balance? My younger daughter wears a "tankini" top with baggy shorts. She is just as comfortable as anyone wearing an "ittsy bitsy teenie weenie" (probably more so), and is covered "enough" to not pose a problem for most men (at least the ones trying to govern their eyes and minds). My older daughter wears a 1 piece - same deal. My wife and I cover up everything because we are waaaaay out of shape and don't want to visually ruin anyone's day. The general principal we have always lived by is that you dress as modestly as possible for the environment you are in, always considering the impact your clothing choices will have on those around you, at least the ones attempting to remain pure. There is little you can do about the letches out there regardless of your choices.
*A more recent addition to swimwear for women is the "burqini" -
quote:
a type of swimsuit for women designed by Lebanese Australian Aheda Zanetti under the company name Ahiida. The suit covers the whole body except the face, the hands and the feet (enough to preserve Muslim modesty), whilst being light enough to enable swimming. It was described as the perfect solution for Muslim women who want to swim but are uncomfortable about "revealing" bathing suits; see sartorial hijab for more information on modest Muslim dress. It looks rather like a full-length wetsuit with built-in hood, but somewhat looser and made of swimsuit material instead of rubber - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burquini
I personally see no reason to go to these lengths to cover up, but I also certainly would have no objection to women doing so and would in fact be rather grateful if they did. It would make my life a whole lot easier.
< Message edited by gengwall -- 4/28/2008 3:41:07 PM >
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/28/2008 11:26:15 PM
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doer
Posts: 2533
Joined: 4/13/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
As a former beach bunny, I used to wear the tinniest thing I can find when I go to the beach. Now, after reading how visually wired men are, what are your suggestions for women to wear at the beach. I love going to the beach, but the last few times I went, I started feeling self conscious and felt like I was inappropriately showing some skin. But, I mean, how can you not, when you're at the beach??? I wore a tank top and a sarong skirt over my swim suit and didn't take them off the whole day.
How can women dress appropriately for these type of activities?
if I were to 'gawk' at a woman at the beach, I am quite positive that the size of her swimsuit/bikini would have very little to do with it.
"scantily clad" does not make one prettier
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RE: Summertime and women's beach wear - 4/29/2008 6:03:27 PM
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figmentPez
Posts: 2770
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: TX
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
I thought this was a good response. But I started thinking about how my motivation shouldn't be the only judge of my action because we also have people around us who are affected by how we act. I can be motivated to wear something that's comfortable to me, but if it causes my brothers to stumble, then, perhaps, that should also be considered.
You're right, I probably should have said "more likely" instead of "most likely". Good motivations are no guarantee of success, but I'm still sure that with bad motives you've failed before you even act.
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imaginary candy, purple dragon peppermint, thought condensed into little bricks of flavored sugar.
Now 30% nerdier!
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That's great. However, one hot model is showing a wee bit too much ankle... 
Wheeew, too hot... stumbling block. 
