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Teen is sick and will not drink water - 7/7/2008 1:41:49 AM
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JustaChristian
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Hi all. I need some help from some wise mothers out there ;)
My 14 yr old niece has recently arrived from out of the country to stay with us for the summer.
Shortly after getting to our house she had symptoms of flu, without the fever. She has been eating very little, resting, but more importantly, she is not drinking hardly anything.
We started getting concerned because she seemed to be unusually retreating, letting the sickness get the best of her, not following instructions. We noticed that there seemed to be a component of behavior unrelated to her immediate "flu" that is contributing.
Well, we called her mother and found out that her not eating and drinking is "normal" behavior. And that she has some attendance problems at school, sleeps when she is not at school until noon, is non-communicative, and leaves the house and is with friends into the evening. It sounds to us like she could be anorexic and have some serious issues adjusting to teen pressures?
Anyway, at this point we are just trying to keep her drinking water and eating some crackers. But she is not drinking as she should and is starting to lie and say she is drinking. She complains when I try to get her to drink pedialite (children's electrolite drink) that it is "too sweet".
Tomorrow I will take her to the Dr.
No doubt she is under a lot of pressure with the new place, living with relatives she has not seen in a number of years, in a new country and that is agitating.
We have not had children and so all this is new. We are being calm and reassuring, but also somewhat firm and open. Anyone have any suggestions, tactics, etc? We sure would like to get a handle on the situation. We have actually discussed the possability that we may have to send her back home. I hate to do that, but I am not sure if we can give her the attention that may be needed, nor, because she had not been around us a lot, can we offer her the familiarity she may need?
Can I get some help from folks with teens :)
Thanks
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RE: Teen is sick and will not drink water - 7/7/2008 1:48:49 AM
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Hislittleone
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Exactly how much is she eating and drinking every day? What does her mother think about all of this?
Take her to a doctor since she appears to be ill. Let him know what the mother shared with you about her eating/drinking habits and see what he says.
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RE: Teen is sick and will not drink water - 7/7/2008 2:00:25 AM
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JustaChristian
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I just read advice that said not to push a child to drink to hard, but I also see advice saying they should be drinking regularly. My only experience is when I was a child, my mom kept me drinking 7-up and I did drink throughout the day.
She seemed to drink about 12-16 oz today. This has just been going on for two days. Maybe we are being overconcerned? How much water should she need to drink? I am mostly worried about dehydration...
Her mother thinks this is OK. As I mentioned she said that she does not like to eat. But she did say that she drinks a lot of water at home. Her mother has had a **lot** of trouble with her. She told us on the phone she was hoping that this trip would help her.
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RE: Teen is sick and will not drink water - 7/7/2008 2:19:06 AM
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Hislittleone
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That doesn't sound like nearly enough water. How long has she been like this? I'd take her to the doctor if it were me just to make sure she is hydrated enough (they may want to give her an IV to rehydrate) and is on the mend. I know that traveling can dehydrate you so if she just made a long trip and doesn't drink enough water as it is then she could just be extremely dehydrated.
Also, push juice and water instead of soda (unless soda is the only thing that sounds good to her). The very best thing for staying hydrated is water. The pedialyte may taste icky to her right now so I wouldn't push that.
She should be drinking half of her body weight in fluid ounces. (i.e. If she weighs 100 lbs. she needs to drink 50 fluid ounces.)
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RE: Teen is sick and will not drink water - 7/7/2008 3:57:39 AM
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manda59
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Is there any possibility that she could have been taking drugs before she got to you? I was wondering if her symptoms sound like withdrawal.
If she doesn't want to drink water, is there any drink that she would be willing to drink?
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RE: Teen is sick and will not drink water - 7/7/2008 7:55:05 AM
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rainbowtvp
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Part of it could be adjusting to foods/drinks/water that is unfamiliar.
I don't really monitor how much or what my kids (who are now teens) eat or drink. they will eat or drink when hungry/thirsty.
Sleeping until noon is pretty common with teens.
It can be very uncomfortable eating/drinking when you know people are watching and tracking everything you do eat.
Based on *just* those things, I would not take her to the dr... but if she is showing other symptoms, ten it would make sense.
Tara P
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RE: Teen is sick and will not drink water - 7/7/2008 8:08:35 AM
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Ellie-Mae
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Why has she come to live with you? Is it because her mother couldn't handle her anymore?
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RE: Teen is sick and will not drink water - 7/7/2008 10:41:39 AM
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pbaribeault
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I know that when farm teens come to the city (for college eg.) they often have gastro-issues because of the change of the kinds of microbes in the water supply (that our systems are used to already). Similarly, city kids often react to well water, for the same reasons. It is similar to mild food poisoning -- but it's not that the microbes are bad ones, it's just a different set of ordinary ones that take some adjusting.
I'd suggest refraining from tap water and juice etc. made from tap water. Instead, give bottled drinks, or hot drinks that boil (tea, coffee, hot chocolate), or if necessary boiled-and-chilled water.
Also consider jello, applesauce, oranges, melon, tomato, lettuce, soups, popsicles, slushies and other mostly-water "foods".
But, please, don't get so agitated about this that it is all you talk & think about. Go out, do normal things, make plans that are interesting enough to help any "homesickness" elements of this fade a little. Try to find some friends, try to be a friend. The human body is resiliant, and to get this solved before it gets too far, you might have to stop seeming to be trying to solve it, just to make her more comfortable.
Oh, and think about involving her in cooking, asking her preferences while food shopping, that sort of thing. You might think about eating out too, that could be an encouragement.
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RE: Teen is sick and will not drink water - 7/7/2008 10:49:04 AM
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PrincessDonna
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Just addressing the water issue...some people really don't like water and have a hard time drinking it plain. It took me months to train myself to be able to drink bottled water and I still can't touch tap water. It tastes off to me.
Have you asked her what she would like to drink and then make sure she has that available? Koolaid, Gatorade, ginger ale, etc...give her choices, but tell her she HAS to drink or you will take her to the doctor to see what is wrong.
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RE: Teen is sick and will not drink water - 7/7/2008 10:59:13 AM
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Jenny-Fair
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I can't believe her parents did not tell you all of that stuff before she ever came! That would make me very upset.
Ok, if you pinch the skin on the back of your hand and then let go, you will see that if bounces back nice and quickly and spring-like, right? Well, if your neice's skin does not do that, then she IS dehydrated. If she is dehydrated and is refusing to take care of herself, then off to the hospital for an IV she would go...if she were my kid, anyway.
Have you tried making popsicles or ice cubes out of juices or lemonade or something like that? And are you in or out of the US?
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RE: Teen is sick and will not drink water - 7/7/2008 11:36:45 AM
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Mrs.Wifey
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You are going to get alot of opinions. I would ask her what she wants to drink, Pedialyte is incredibly disgusting to drink. I don't really blame her for not wanting it... Juice, Lemonaide, Gatorade, etc... are just as good. Ask her if there are any foods she really wants, and get those for her if possible. Then wait a bit to see how she does, 2 days with minor flu symptoms wouldn't be enough for me to go to the doctor, but if it lasts much longer then I would.
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RE: Teen is sick and will not drink water - 7/7/2008 12:13:56 PM
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Mrs.X
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
Is there any possibility that she could have been taking drugs before she got to you? I was wondering if her symptoms sound like withdrawal.
If she doesn't want to drink water, is there any drink that she would be willing to drink?
I was wondering the same thing, Manda.
JustaChristian, does she have dry sniffles, and is she irritable and unreasonable? Or, does she have pimples on her face that look like she picked at them before she arrived and a lot of snot in her nose or paranoia?
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RE: Teen is sick and will not drink water - 7/7/2008 4:18:23 PM
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JustaChristian
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Thanks for all the helpful replies. Would you believe it. She has magnificently recovered and is on our other computer. She is drinking more liquids, I do not know if that is because we firmly told her she really needs to or if she is feeling better. But considering she was in the bathroom in the AM it is a pretty quick turn around. But maybe that is not all unusual with Teens?
She still is not eating much but she is eating a little.
I think what we have learned from all this is that her stay will be a bit challenging. And that it will be more so because her mother has not given her boundries. It is interesting the thoughts about possible drug use. She does hang with a "heavy metal" crowd in her country. It could also explain some of her symptoms... but it is hard to say if that would be the case.
From everything I have read we will approach her again in a few days and get the "ground rules" more firmly established. I think we are just going to have to be open with her, firm, and on top of things to establish our own rules to hopefully guide her through what for her will be unusual (house rules), but while trying to keep everything positive and enjoyable. But she is being responsive this morning, so hopefully things are moving in a positive direction.
Thanks!
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RE: Teen is sick and will not drink water - 7/7/2008 5:47:05 PM
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manda59
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Would it be ok to ask which country she is from? (and you're in the US?)
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Mrs Wifey, August 2008.
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