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Try this one out.... - 5/21/2008 7:10:38 AM
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Bryne
Posts: 9
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For non single bt not married: How do you know that the person you are going tou with is the right one? Do you jus use the instinct that "WE CLICK". ... Say more
Singles: What do you expect from a guy or girl so that you can call him or her God given proper fiance? Whats your standards?
Then the next task is look at your past relationships and check against your answers.. What have you noticed.... Tip: What kind of guys or girls were you dating? And whats your conclusion?
Objective of this: Most relationship and marriages dont last coz we are over looking somethings... And this is what we want to find out.
< Message edited by Bryne -- 5/21/2008 7:20:53 AM >
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RE: Try this one out.... - 5/21/2008 12:46:09 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1184
Joined: 9/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Bryne
For non single bt not married
Uh... I'm sorry, I don't understand this. Please explain what it means. Thanks.
quote:
: How do you know that the person you are going tou with is the right one? Do you jus use the instinct that "WE CLICK". ... Say more
If I'm understanding you (tou?), the click thing is an acknowledgement that a person is the same as you and that there is no barring or sense of unreality between you. You don't have to lie to yourself about suitability. Example: My future husband was a biologist who built VWs, did calligraphy and had a wacky sense of humor - just like me. We were two peas in a pod, and it was soon obvious to both of us. We were single, spiritually mature, ready to marry and suddenly here was a person who "fit." That's the long version of "click."
quote:
Objective of this: Most relationship and marriages dont last coz we are over looking somethings... And this is what we want to find out.
Woo, boy, is that ever right! Every problem I've seen married people struggle with was obvious before the marriage was made. Lack of character, lack of spiritual maturity, lack of mentoring by a mature person in authority, lack of understanding on how God made us to function emotionally, spiritually and sometimes even physically. Strongholds that needed pulling down by the power of God were ignored, to the person's grief and sometimes the marriage's later destruction.
The answer: grow up in Christ, by the constant study of Scripture, prayer, training in godliness, deferment to spiritual authority (parents, pastors, elders), wise counsel. A person needs to deal with their sin nature by applying God's power, develop a love for the brethren, and be fairly consistant in their daily walk with God.
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RE: Try this one out.... - 5/21/2008 1:04:03 PM
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Karaboo2
Posts: 1211
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
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quote:
ORIGINAL: deermousie
quote:
ORIGINAL: Bryne
For non single bt not married
Uh... I'm sorry, I don't understand this. Please explain what it means. Thanks.
I think the OP meant someone who is currently in a relationship, but hasn't tied the knot.
_____________________________
Kara
"I am not here. I am lost. I have gone to find myself. If I should get back before I return, please ask me to wait!"
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RE: Try this one out.... - 5/22/2008 3:26:52 AM
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Bryne
Posts: 9
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Alright, let me rephrase the first question...
Lets say, you are going out with someone, (in short you have a fiance, right)... The question: How do you know that the person you are going out with is the right one? What are your expections from him or her?
And to add on: 2)How do you define an IDEAL MAN or LADY to go out with...?
3)Looking on your present situation, to what extend have you compromised your standards of ideality (ideal man / lady)? And what did you compromise? And why?
Objective: To identify why many marriages dont last. Is it that we compromise too much or our standards need to be corrected...
< Message edited by Bryne -- 5/22/2008 3:46:13 AM >
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RE: Try this one out.... - 5/22/2008 11:50:35 AM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 784
Joined: 11/28/2005
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quote:
Alright, let me rephrase the first question...
Lets say, you are going out with someone, (in short you have a fiance, right)... The question: How do you know that the person you are going out with is the right one? What are your expections from him or her?
* I wanted a man that's devoted to God and his faith and walk was steady and sound.
I looked for a man who relied upon the Lord, faithful to attending church and was active in church work(of some form); he would be employed and has a good work ethic, he'd have his own place, good with handling his money(saved some for the future) .... just to name some of the main characteristics for me.
And to add on: 2)How do you define an IDEAL MAN or LADY to go out with...?
3)Looking on your present situation, to what extend have you compromised your standards of ideality (ideal man / lady)? And what did you compromise? And why?
Objective: To identify why many marriages dont last. Is it that we compromise too much or our standards need to be corrected...
*Many marriages fail when either one or both persons in the marriage becomes rebellious and hardens their heart against their spouse and also against the Word of God (Bible) --- refusing to forgive their spouse, keeping tracks of wrongs, lack of communication, not setting proper boundaries with family and friends and sometimes the unforgiving spouse may commit acts that the other spouse finds abominable and they choose to divorce the offending spouse.
My first marriage ended because my spouse wouldn't quit cheating and he ran off to be with the other woman - divorce followed and he married the other woman(this is the short version of my first marriage).
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RE: Try this one out.... - 5/22/2008 1:39:02 PM
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Emaleth
Posts: 8
Joined: 5/18/2008
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I think many marriages fail because we allow ourselves an "out." My parents have been married for 55 years. Just as in all marriages, they've had their ups and downs because no marriage is perfectly wonderful 100% of the time. But divorce was never an option so they worked it out. In their day and age, divorce was frowned upon, a scandal ... it just wasn't okay. But society has changed and divorce has become more acceptable, not taboo anymore. I think rather than taking the time and energy and LOVE to work things out, people just give up. If it's not easy, it is simply not worth it.
Also, we seem to have become a disposable society. Everything is disposable, including marriage. We (as a society) want things fast ... easy ... convenient and if we can't get it that way, we don't want it. We stand in front of a microwave oven and think, "Hurry up!" This is our mindset! lol
And ... some may not agree with me and that's okay, but it seems these days mom and dad, husband and wife, have a pre-nuptial agreement because their assets are separate, yours and mine rather than "ours." We has turned into you and I. "I" have to protect myself from "you" in case we get a divorce so that I won't lose "my" things. We have separate (cell) phones, separate (e)mail, separate lives, it seems. My parents have never had separate anything ... they use the same phone, the same mail and the same social circles. They are as one.
Anyway ... that's just a few of my theories as to why marriages don't seem to last these days. Basically, it seems to be all about "me" rather than all about "we." Just my opinion ... not meant to offend anyone. 
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RE: Try this one out.... - 5/23/2008 6:04:34 AM
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Bryne
Posts: 9
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Okay....
But tell me, how far true is this statement: "Nowa days people marry for the wrong reasons and devorce for the right"
From my own analysis: May be
Why: 1) Most people expect too much in a marriage. Their expectations are mainly based on things which are not the foundation of marriage.
2) Most people use marriage as a get away point. This is were by one gets married thinking that life will be better than before. This is usually done by people under abuse, poverty, or those not certain about their future
3) For some , marriage became a consiquence of their acts. They get married as a consiquence of their unlawful acts. On this one; 50% of them there is no love. And 40% there is lack of maturity.
4) For some, Due to peer presure, desperacy, or influence of reletives and parents. This is usually common to people who are reffered as "40yr old bachelar" People who are above the age set by society to get married. As a result the pick anything that comes their way.
5) For the COMMON, they got married coz they thought that marriage was all about going to bed... So when the unexpected got into sight, they decided to jump out.
So i concluded may be...
Tell me your view..
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RE: Try this one out.... - 5/23/2008 8:03:50 AM
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creationtalk
Posts: 586
Joined: 6/9/2005
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quote:
But tell me, how far true is this statement: "Nowa days people marry for the wrong reasons and devorce for the right"
It doesn't really matter WHY someone got married. Once they are married, they have made a commitment and should do everything within their power to make the relationship work. That doesn't mean that the relationship will not fail, because many things may be beyond the power of an individual (takes 2).
I don't believe that there are really "right" reasons to divorce. Divorce happens because of the hardness or our hearts and because we fail to apply reason to our decision to start a relationship.
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