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Vaginismus? - 6/23/2008 8:55:27 PM
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DLight
Posts: 6
Joined: 10/19/2005
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Hi Ladies,
Have you read or heard about a condition called vaginismus? If so, do you struggle with it or do you know others that have?
It is such a hard topic...we have struggled with it since we've been married for over 4 years.
Most people do not know about the fact that our sexual life has been abnormal and they are starting to ask questions about when we plan to have children, and what are we dong for birth control. Most of the women in our group of friends are open about their sex lives and are quite boastful, which makes me uncomfortable when I'm around and they know that we're private about it.
Thank God we found a program www.vaginismus.com that provided us with detailed information to help us. Please pray for us as we continue to walk toward enjoying sex in a Godly way and hopefully having children sometime in the future.
Thanks.
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RE: Vaginismus? - 6/23/2008 9:08:16 PM
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solo_soprano22
Posts: 2395
Joined: 4/27/2005
From: I'm a Southern girl
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I'm familiar with it, but I don't have it. I'm not married, but I do have vulvodynia... and am not really looking forward to being (potentially) celibate in marriage. I think there might be women here who have had it, or have it now, but it's not guaranteed that the'll look here.
I do know about it though. Have you tried any kind of physical therapy?
_____________________________
For God, For Learning, Forever.
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RE: Vaginismus? - 6/23/2008 10:16:20 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2553
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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Hi, Dlight, welcome to the forums. I'm sorry you have to suffer from this condition. That has to be really hard.
I haven't looked at this site much since I'm single, but I looked at it a couple times to see if I thought it would be beneficial to a married couple, because people refer to it now and then from this website. I don't agree with EVERYTHING they say, but they do deal with medical issues, so here is the website: www.themarriagebed.com. I hope that can be of some help to you.
quote:
Most people do not know about the fact that our sexual life has been abnormal and they are starting to ask questions about when we plan to have children, and what are we dong for birth control. Most of the women in our group of friends are open about their sex lives and are quite boastful, which makes me uncomfortable when I'm around and they know that we're private about i
Now, that's just rude, just because they choose to be open does not mean you have to be, or that they should expect you to be.
There are couple other women on this forum who struggle with this, but I'll let them tell you who they are, if they wish, rather than myself.
By the way, is your husband supportive and understanding? It sounds like he is from your post, but from your post, I certainly was hoping that was the case, and that he is not irritable and angry at you for this as it is beyond your control.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 6/23/2008 10:32:42 PM >
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: Vaginismus? - 6/24/2008 12:52:16 AM
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solo_soprano22
Posts: 2395
Joined: 4/27/2005
From: I'm a Southern girl
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DLight
Most people do not know about the fact that our sexual life has been abnormal and they are starting to ask questions about when we plan to have children, and what are we dong for birth control. Most of the women in our group of friends are open about their sex lives and are quite boastful, which makes me uncomfortable when I'm around and they know that we're private about it.
Thanks.
I started a facebook support group for my condition, and I've found (and already knew) that many people assume that women can't have a sexual dysfunction.  I know people who still think that vulvodynia and vaginismus don't exist... and that only the man can have a problem in that area. I'm not sure what you've tried, but I wanted to suggest support groups (online, in person, etc). I'm glad I started the one I did, if not for anything else, because people actually understand what each other person is going through in there.
_____________________________
For God, For Learning, Forever.
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RE: Vaginismus? - 6/24/2008 2:15:01 PM
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wareaglekd
Posts: 621
Joined: 8/9/2006
From: War Eagle Country
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Yes, I have it. It was quite a problem in my 20s. I was not living for the Lord, but found myself in very difficult situations w/ men because of this condition. I was able to have intercourse by the time I was 24, but it was quite painful. I got pregnant as a result of that, so it changed my life completely. I have surrendered that area to God to wait till marriage. But, it still concerns me what I will have to tell my future spouse & how to deal w/ it. Now, I'm 46 & the problems are more than they were then. I do have difficulty when I see the gynecologist, but I still get through the exam. I developed interstitial cystitis when I was 42, so I do have some pain as a result of it.
One thing that I have wanted to investigate for sometime is the possibility of contrast dye causing my problem. I had frequent UTIs as a child & needed treatment for it. Contrast dye is injected in the bladder in order to take x-rays. There is a lot of pain w/ this procedure. Seeing as there is a connection urologically & gynecologically, I think there is a remote possibility that it has effected the lining of my vagina.
So, when dealing w/ vag, it's important to know the root cause, physically & psychologically. There may be different ways of treating the condition. Since I can have sex & see a gynecologist, I have to look at it from a medical standpoint to determine where my issues are.
I wish you well. As hard as it is, it does involve both of you. Your husband may not totally understand, but the website I'm sure answers a lot of the questions. Take care. kd
_____________________________
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
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RE: Vaginismus? - 6/28/2008 10:43:33 AM
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solo_soprano22
Posts: 2395
Joined: 4/27/2005
From: I'm a Southern girl
Status: offline
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DLight, if you're still around, does vaginismus.com have a forum? I've found that being able to communicate with other women who have it (even if it's in a forum) can help.
_____________________________
For God, For Learning, Forever.
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RE: Vaginismus? - 7/1/2008 6:57:46 PM
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DLight
Posts: 6
Joined: 10/19/2005
Status: offline
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Hi Ladies,
Thank you for your helpful responses.
My husband has been very supportive. And, we are actually using products from a vaginismus website. and we are excited about the prospect of being able to enjoy this part of our marriage.
This condition has been somewhat of a blessing because it has encouraged us to love each other in a much deeper way, and it has helped us to have patience and more appreciation for sex and procreation.
I have also visited www.themarriagebed.com and it was great.
I do not yet feel comfortable with openly sharing this information on facebook or other forums yet.
Soprano-what does your condition cause and how did you find out?
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RE: Vaginismus? - 7/3/2008 6:57:48 PM
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solo_soprano22
Posts: 2395
Joined: 4/27/2005
From: I'm a Southern girl
Status: offline
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It's a pain/nerve disorder, vulvodynia (and interstitial cystitis-- IC). If it's bad enough you can't do anything... no tampons or cups... no intercourse, no sitting for long, no bike-riding, etc. I didn't really find out, per se... I always knew something was wrong, and one day I just discovered the term for it. None of the treatments have worked though; if you're born with it, it's harder to treat. Some women find success through nerve blocks, surgery, etc. Some women with vulvodynia have vaginismus too (I have vulvodynia and interstitial cystitis). I had some surgery that messed me up some more in the same area, so I'm pretty sure that unless some miracle happens, I won't be normal again (from the surgery). Even if I somehow "got rid" of the vulvodynia and cystitis... which seems impossible, my body still has some odd inability to heal from the trauma that the surgery caused.
_____________________________
For God, For Learning, Forever.
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RE: Vaginismus? - 7/9/2008 7:57:53 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1615
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: solo_soprano22
It's a pain/nerve disorder, vulvodynia (and interstitial cystitis-- IC). If it's bad enough you can't do anything... no tampons or cups... no intercourse, no sitting for long, no bike-riding, etc. I didn't really find out, per se... I always knew something was wrong, and one day I just discovered the term for it. None of the treatments have worked though; if you're born with it, it's harder to treat. Some women find success through nerve blocks, surgery, etc. Some women with vulvodynia have vaginismus too (I have vulvodynia and interstitial cystitis). I had some surgery that messed me up some more in the same area, so I'm pretty sure that unless some miracle happens, I won't be normal again (from the surgery). Even if I somehow "got rid" of the vulvodynia and cystitis... which seems impossible, my body still has some odd inability to heal from the trauma that the surgery caused.
I have hurt just watching you struggle with all of this...and I have to wonder if your inability to heal down there isn't related to the vulvodynia itself somehow.
To the OP...I have a friend who suffers/suffered from vagnismus..and she and her husband were unable to be intimate for a couple of years. She did get treatment from her physician and with time and patience...they were able to be intimate. She did seem to get over it...but now that she is in her late 40's it seems to be flaring up again as her body is nearing menopause.
Just know that I am praying for healing for ALL the women I know here in the forums who suffer from so much pain in their nether regions...
I wish I could do more for you all.
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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