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With so many "counsel" around us - 5/16/2008 4:09:43 AM
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Above_All
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As a believer, we are taught to honor those who give us good counsel and to also ask for it. Each and every one of us are surrounded by many people in our life...our parents, our pastor, our friends, our accountability partners, etc....and not all of these people are necessarily Christians. I do believe that G-d can indeed work through anyone He wants to to send us a word and intervene. My parents for example are not believers but there has been instances in my life when G-d did indeed us them very specifically (besides use them as good parents). Sometimes you end up getting all kinds of "advice" from everywhere, even similar ones. They all make sense and they seem very wise...
At times though it can be very challenging. There are times when I feel that as wise as some advice and counsel can be, I often wonder if it what I am told is contrary to my faith as a believer. Here's a few examples...
I'm engaged to be married and throughout my courtship I have received many advice from others. Much of them were "Be careful advise." A friend of mine, who didn't know what it was like to grow up with a truly loving family and who has other friends who have had bad experiences always gave me such "be careful advice". My parents and her friends have given me the same kind of cautionary advice. For example, recently my mom suggested that when I get married that I have separate accounts "just in case". She talked to her friend and how her friend's cousin had a horrible experience of her ex-husband taking saved money out of the accounts for his own adulterous pleasure. So she told me again to have separate accounts for awhile until you truly feel it's safe. She even did that as well. My dad and mom had their own checking account for several years before they canceled.
Upon first thought, it sounds rational. It sound wise. But as I thought about it more, doing this is like signing up for a prenup. "Just in case...you should do this safeguard yourself." I don't see anything wrong with each spouse having their own account for their own leisure spending but the reason for the advice to simply think, "You never know what could happen." I thought about some more and this is what led me to start this thread.
It's obvious that not all advice and counsel comes from G-d. It's also obvious that we can know if it is not from G-d if it can't be supported biblically. In my example I know that by having separate accounts to protect myself from possible hardships undermines my faith in G-d that He is my Protector. It would also communicate to my future husband that I have no trust in him at all. It would be contrary to those wise words in Proverbs to trust in the L-rd and not lean on your own understanding.
Can you give examples in your own life, past or present where you have been or are being tested with various advice and counsel and how have or can you support or deny that advice biblically?
Sorry so long! lol
_____________________________
<--- Our engagement sketch
Table for Two...And then some
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RE: With so many "counsel" around us - 5/16/2008 6:53:00 AM
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Walker311
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It's apparent that advice and counsel have made you anxious but you already have a good understanding of where the most important advice comes from.
Sometimes the best advice is what you feel in your heart and then not follow it. You then make a mistake and learn from it.
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RE: With so many "counsel" around us - 5/16/2008 9:33:47 AM
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mvic
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Whenever you switch on TV or radio, no matter what the subject, there's always an expert tellling you about it.
Even on Forums such as this one; there's always experts on everything giving advice. (Look at me and my many posts rambling on and on ....).
I can never understand why with so many experts everywhere the world is in the state it's in.
Anyway - to come to your point in question:
My advice is: Walker311 sounds like a wise person. Take his advice - "Sometimes the best advice is what you feel in your heart and then not follow it. You then make a mistake and learn from it."
_____________________________
http://www.holyvisions.co.uk
Welcome to my Blog
MEI VITA INDICO CHRISTUS
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RE: With so many "counsel" around us - 5/16/2008 9:50:48 AM
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timf
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cautionary advice
Genesis 2:24
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Doesn't sound like a situation to "hedge one's bets". Good cautionary advice would be to make sure that the person you are going to marry really loves Jesus, is led by the Spirit, and wants to build a family to serve the Lord like you do.
Bad cautionary advice would be fear driven advice that undermines faith in God.
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RE: With so many "counsel" around us - 5/16/2008 2:23:53 PM
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Focusing
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I think that the "be careful" advice is based more upon another person's experiences and perceptions in their life, and their sharing can undermine our own relationship ... sometimes it's intentional, sometimes not ... and if we are not careful in processing this this so-called advice, it can certainly be detrimental. It can cause us to have doubts ... in our own abilities to trust, or to have doubts in the other person.
Love, trust, honor and respect ... HUGE things in a relationship as it becomes more serious. They are the foundations our lives together are built upon. We need to guard our hearts and minds against things that interfere or try to place a wedge with the one we are in relationship with.
Someone else's experience does not equate to "if it happened to me, it will happen to you". Hence, how we choose to process this information. Do we use it as a tool to discuss something we hadn't considered, or do we allow it to cause suspicion?
It all boils down to one thing: communication.
Bad cautionary advice would be fear driven advice that undermines faith in God.
Amen!
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. - 1 John 4:18
Making the conscious choice to keep God the center of your relationship, with Him surrounding you in all you do, is key.
_____________________________
Sam
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2
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RE: With so many "counsel" around us - 5/16/2008 2:49:27 PM
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YZGUY
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quote:
Bad cautionary advice would be fear driven advice that undermines faith in God.
I agree - advise based on fear (which is not of God) can be troublesome. Yet, fear has also led to positive things as well. Fear of drowning may lead to learning how to swim. Fear of divorce may lead someone to be a better spouse. Then again, are these decisions for the glory of God (do they give glory to God) or just to ease the anxieties?
Fear is also crippling, too. And somewhere, sometime, I also heard it leads to the dark side. ((breathing like Darth Vader)))
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RE: With so many "counsel" around us - 5/17/2008 2:05:55 AM
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SinnerSaved
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Psalm 118:8
It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.
_____________________________
"No man is an island, entire of itself...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."
John Donne
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RE: With so many "counsel" around us - 5/18/2008 3:47:54 PM
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Above_All
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quote:
Focusing:
Someone else's experience does not equate to "if it happened to me, it will happen to you". Hence, how we choose to process this information. Do we use it as a tool to discuss something we hadn't considered, or do we allow it to cause suspicion?
I totally agree. I can see how it will help others to be mindful too.
quote:
YZGUY:
I agree - advise based on fear (which is not of God) can be troublesome. Yet, fear has also led to positive things as well. Fear of drowning may lead to learning how to swim. Fear of divorce may lead someone to be a better spouse. Then again, are these decisions for the glory of God (do they give glory to God) or just to ease the anxieties?
Excellent post! Bravo! Fears should always lead to G-d's glory and for the good.
No one actually talked about example in their own life or in general with specific scripture. Can we think of any?
_____________________________
<--- Our engagement sketch
Table for Two...And then some
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RE: With so many "counsel" around us - 5/18/2008 4:05:44 PM
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buckifn
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some of the worst advice I ever got....never work with troubled kids all they do is use anyone who lets them.
I'm really glad I make my own decisions.
Some of the best advice I ever got is live every day to the fullest because age doesnt matter when it comes time to die. I have known so many people personally who have died before the age of 30.
Advice I wish I had taken, but didn't-- choose to serve God while you are young. I wasted 20 years of my life by not accepting Jesus.
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RE: With so many "counsel" around us - 5/22/2008 5:59:55 PM
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bride48
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I can think of an example, Trish, but I'm not comfortable sharing it online. However, the accompanying Scripture is:
Gen 2:24
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
NKJV
When you marry, all advice must be secondary to your spouse's, and his is secondary to God's. Your parents can offer advice, but decisions must stay between you and your husband. Actually, we don't discuss our finances with our moms precisely because we don't want them to interfere with our marriage. That's what "leaving and cleaving" is about.
_____________________________
Joyfully,
DebbieLynne
See my photographic evidence that my wheelchair was fixed at Joyfully Christian Lady's Museum
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RE: With so many "counsel" around us - 5/22/2008 7:03:11 PM
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JesKlu
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I would be wary of any "be careful" advice. And, about your parents, if they are not believers, I would suggest not taking their advice seriously. And about the "advice" that you got from people to hold separate checking accounts, don't take their advice at all. A husband and wife are one flesh, therefore, one in everything else too, including finances.
And it sounds like all the advice you are getting are all fear tactics. And not in a good way either.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
or anyone elses understanding.
Your sister in Christ Jesus,
Jessica
_____________________________
And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
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RE: With so many "counsel" around us - 5/26/2008 4:42:53 AM
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Above_All
Posts: 12148
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Our officiant, a Rabbi once told me that when he was dating his wife, many people didn't think it was a good idea. It was G-D that gave Him the assurance and they have been married for 40+ years.
People can be right or people can be wrong. Main thing is to think like a Berean. Is the counsel/advice given to me biblical? Is so, has G-d Himself confirmed it? Confirmation is huge. Anyone can tell you something biblical but it's important too to ask G-d for confirmation.
_____________________________
<--- Our engagement sketch
Table for Two...And then some
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RE: With so many "counsel" around us - 5/27/2008 8:43:15 AM
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makarizo
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"be careful" rates right up there with "don't drive drunk", and "try not to put your hand on a burning stove"
"be careful" is not really even advice... I mean think about....what does "be careful" really say?
....something like: don't give all your heart to this relationship, don't put all your faith into it, hold back a little and have a little anxiety about any chances of any failure that no one could possibly imagine, or forsee,
I have a word for advice like that, but will not share it with you.
"love is cautious of all things", that would be interesting to see those words in 1st Cor 13
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RE: With so many "counsel" around us - 5/27/2008 6:04:52 PM
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JesKlu
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quote:
ORIGINAL: bluestone
Here is an idea from the "other " side.
As many Christian marriages end in divorce as secular ones do.
No one starts a marriage thinking that being cheated out of money would ever happen. Yet it does. Even in the church.
People may see something you don't. My friends certainly did about my ex husband. 
People telling you to be cautious such as your parents love you and care about you. They are not saying you are marrying a bad person. They are just showing concern.
Hello!
But did you see that her parents are not Christians? They are unbelievers. By them giving "cautionary" advice is like saying, be preared for divorce, just it in case it happens. To me, that is wicked. God hates divorce, period.
Of course, they may also want her to marry outside the faith, and that is not what God wants. I believe it is in 2 Corinthians where it says not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. So, sometimes, actually all the time, God is to come first before our parents, especially if our parents want us to do something contrary to God's will.
Your sister in Christ Jesus,
Jessica
_____________________________
And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
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RE: With so many "counsel" around us - 5/28/2008 6:58:27 AM
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deliveredarling
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I think the best advice a person can give is after sharing whatever story or suggestion with them, tell them to "take what they need and leave the rest..."
Words of caution are exactly that. If I tell you something that I have been through and you are about to enter this same scenario, I don't want to tell you how to handle it rather you hear the pitfalls that I made, so that you don't make the same mistakes, hopefully. That's the point of sharing experiences, not to solve problems for each other. When someone says "be careful", they may know something you don't or something you are not yet willing to accept. Be careful truly indicates a deeper knowledge of experience.
Just a side note about advice:
A good counselor or psychologist will not tell you how to solve your problem, yet they will talk you through figuring it out yourself.
_____________________________
"Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed: but he puts it on a lampstand, in order that those who come in may see the light."
Luke 8:16
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