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foster/adoption - 8/20/2008 11:43:28 AM
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lparent
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Joined: 8/20/2008
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My husband and I really feel that we have been called to do this and have taken the steps to do so. Our daughters that we already have are behind the idea 100%. How do we tell our extended family, who will not take the news as such a wonderful thing.
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RE: foster/adoption - 8/20/2008 2:13:05 PM
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MrsTracy72
Posts: 1800
Joined: 2/28/2007
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Does your extend family live in your house and abide by your rules? If not, then you just tell them and it will be what it will be. Go into it with a positive upbeat and excited attitude, they may surprise you.
I had to tell my mom last week that we decided to take in an exchange student. I didn't think she was going to be accpeting of it, but I think she is more excited than I am.
We are also on the othe end of adoption. My husband placed his son for adoption at birth. Two years ago, we got a letter from the adoptive mother and a year later, we all met. I was on edge because none of my husband's extended family knew about the baby and now we are including him in our family functions and pictures and all that. I guess they all took it ok and they didn't find out until almost 18 years later.
I guess what I am saying is that people adapt. And if your extended family needs time to warm up to the idea, go ahead with your plans and let them warm up. Once they see that child and get to know him or her, things will change. It will be hard for them to just ignore the fact that the child is there, especially when your own children are so willing to accept them.
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RE: foster/adoption - 8/21/2008 4:50:03 PM
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tish1
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Joined: 7/6/2008
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hi just read your question on fostering .just to say my husband and I foster a 14yr old girl ,she has been with us for 2yrs and will stay with us long term . It really is the best thing we have done. The Lord has given us soo much love for this little girl and I would say to any one thinking about fostering go ahead and try it. Theres so many kds out there needing a loving home. tishx
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RE: foster/adoption - 8/25/2008 5:00:10 PM
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lucyk
Posts: 16
Joined: 4/4/2006
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My husband and I are currently fostering a baby that we hope to adopt. He is African-American, we are not. DH and I were completely prepared (after lots and LOTS of prayer and some pretty deep soul-searching) for this to happen, and we tried to talk to his parents about it, but they didn't want to hear about it. They've been pushing for us to do a Ukraine adoption for years, but we just didn't feel led to go there. As these things happen, we got a call at 8:30 one Thursday morning asking if we could pick up a 2 week old infant from the hospital's NICU for a probable adoption at 2pm that same day! DMIL and DFIL came over the next day to meet the baby and have adjusted pretty well to it. Honestly, I think they are still getting used to the idea, but they have accepted that this is our choice, and that we love this child with everything we have. DMIL told me last week that when the adoption is final, she's going to take me to the bank and write out his college funding. This is the only grandchild they have so far (DH and I are both only children), so I think they are really trying hard to get used to the idea.
My Mom, OTOH, just put her house on the market so she can move closer to us to be The Daycare. She's totally gone crazy! 
All that said, if we had it to do all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. This is the most fulfilling, rewarding and meaningful thing I think either of us have ever done. And frankly, I think it's just what we all needed. DMIL and FIL needed to have some of their attitudes challenged, and my Mom has said it's even affecting the way she thinks, and she's one of the most loving people I know. I think that in the end, no matter how long we get to keep this little guy, we're the ones who are really benefiting from having him with us, because we've all changed for the better.
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RE: foster/adoption - 9/1/2008 10:25:27 AM
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Melodyes_Song
Posts: 39
Joined: 8/10/2006
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my dh and i fostered to adopt two little boys, and we actually told very select memebers of our family what was going on, then once our boys TPR had taken place we let everyone know. there were alot of reasons for that including most of my family would not be supportive and dh's family lives far away in the Netherlands...
i am happy to say that 19 months later both of our families adore our boys as much as we do...
_____________________________
Mel
http://www.avoiceformoms.blogspot.com/
A Conservative Voice for Moms
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RE: foster/adoption - 9/4/2008 12:20:19 PM
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War__Eagle
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Joined: 9/4/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lparent
My husband and I really feel that we have been called to do this and have taken the steps to do so. Our daughters that we already have are behind the idea 100%. How do we tell our extended family, who will not take the news as such a wonderful thing.
We are adopting a child at birth in just a couple of months and our extended family is going completely insane. I'd never tell our children this, but I think they're more excited over the adoption than they were when our biological children were born.
I would just tell them that you'll be adopting this child and will love him and invite them to be a part of his life.
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