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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/7/2008 12:47:12 PM
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stamper_ben
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From: Lone Star State
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Before Lynn showed up Sunday to take Kayla to lunch I spent Sat night and Sun morning cleaning the house top to bottom. Of course this was before she dropped the "D" bomb... Kayla knew why I was doing it and when she showed up Kayla anted her to come in and see the house. Lynn declined, saying she wasn't comfortable coming in. Did she not want to be reminded what she left? A big part of me now wants to just let the house go, what's the point except to keep it nice for Kayla.
I think I blew it a while ago. I called Lynn to ask where I can find the address to Kayla's dentist. I scheduled the time off for week after next. But before I called I had seen another debit to our account that was posted yesterday. I thought she may have gotten a replacement card and went out to eat yesterday, so I let her know that their $20 bill was actually costing $55 with the overdraft charge. She said no, they hadn't gone to eat yesterday and besides, her card doesn't work and anyway there is a zero balance there. It was after talking to her that I called the bank and found out that the charge was from a week ago and the restaurant didn't put it in until yesterday.
I want to keep that account active as a long term hope that the marriage will be restored. Call me stupid (in love of course  ), but I can't bring myself to close it and now that it has no money in it I don't think she'll be using it.
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We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/7/2008 12:51:51 PM
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stamper_ben
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Oh, I have an appointment with a psychologist on Friday, one who knows about bipolar. It's a benefit through work, three appointments free of charge and if further is needed (which it probably won't) there is a discount when referred to another one.
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We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/7/2008 1:00:26 PM
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rayofson
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Glad to hear about the appointment Ben.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/7/2008 1:51:51 PM
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Abbreviated
Posts: 2176
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Call the bank & see what the options are.
Temporarily suspending it would keep overdrafts down.
Just because there is no money doesn't mean items won't be posted. Ds1 learned that the hard way.
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Buried In Legos...
Bologna Donuts
Jackie
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/7/2008 1:58:19 PM
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magdaleine
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I don't think you blew it. {{{{{{{{{{{Ben}}}}}}}}}
The point to keeping the house nice? It will help your morale (hmmmm I think that was a message to me as well). I don't see any reason why you can't keep that account open (with next to nothing in it) as a sign of hope. Hope is important.
And that's awesome news about the appointment. I hope you find it helpful.
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Maggie
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/7/2008 2:00:40 PM
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magdaleine
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Good point, Jackie!
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Maggie
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/7/2008 2:01:28 PM
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stamper_ben
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quote:
Hope is important. It's also all I have right now...
I also found a bipolar support group that meets tonight. I think I'll go.
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We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/7/2008 2:06:48 PM
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stamper_ben
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I spent an hour one day last week finding out I could "freeze" the account, but she could go into a bank and unfreeze it just as easy. She's a smart woman and could figure that out if she wanted. Like I said, with her now knowing there's no money in it she isn't going to be using it.
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We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/7/2008 4:23:44 PM
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groom52
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Ben, I can't remember whether I suggested this before or not, but I urge you to get as much documentation as possible on anything and everything. Whenenever you go before anybody who has authority to make decisions affecting you, Kayla, Lynn or anybody, that person will want to see any documentation that will back up what is said by the various persons involved. So try to get things in writing whenever possible.
We're praying for you.
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John (groom52), the very happy hubby of Deb (bride48)
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/7/2008 4:45:55 PM
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stamper_ben
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I don't think it was you who said it John, but I have been told. Thank you.
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We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/7/2008 5:24:29 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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Ben . . . just to let you know that y'all are still in my prayers.
{{{Ben}}}
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/7/2008 5:41:16 PM
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2jsmom
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I'm still praying too.
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Sue
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/7/2008 5:55:27 PM
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bride48
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John and I are praying heavily about your situation, Ben. I echo the post he made about getting documentation.
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DebbieLynne
Anniversary blog entry
<--In honor of Above All and Dawgfan's wedding
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/7/2008 10:36:01 PM
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stamper_ben
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I went to a bipolar support group tonight. I'd prefer one that had more families of bipolar sufferers, such as husbands or wives who might understand better about what I'm going through. This one was mainly made up of those who have the illness and are working toward recovering from it. Still, it was only one session and it is encouraging to see them there not being in denial about their affliction.
Lynn called earlier and I was able to apoligize for accusing her of using the check card yesterday. they are now in a place of their own.
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/7/2008 10:59:07 PM
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magdaleine
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It's all too surreal, Ben. I wonder if there is a group for families of bipolar patients. That would be more helpful. Maybe the psychologist you're seeing on Friday can help point you in the right direction.
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Maggie
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/7/2008 11:14:41 PM
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awed
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(((((Ben))))
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One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn' t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself. ~Lucille Ball
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/8/2008 12:06:51 AM
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kimberlysfrog
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{{{{{{{Ben}}}}}}}
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/8/2008 4:44:06 AM
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agapetos
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quote:
The point to keeping the house nice? It will help your morale (hmmmm I think that was a message to me as well). I don't see any reason why you can't keep that account open (with next to nothing in it) as a sign of hope. Hope is important. Maggie makes an excellent point ~ and speaking from experience, it's far easier to do a little to keep it nice than to let it go and then have to work on it...
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Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not using them in fruit salads!
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/8/2008 6:05:34 AM
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Darcyjo
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Ditto, Ben. I've found that when I'm feeling depressed, coming home to a dirty house makes me feel a whole lot worse. Keep it up to keep yourself feeling a little better, as well as for Kayla's sake.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/8/2008 12:26:07 PM
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cherish405
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((((((((((((((((((((((BEN)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Wish it were a real one.
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*** My name is Trish and I'm His daughter, desirous and glorious in His sight ***
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/8/2008 3:30:33 PM
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BeckeyZ
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(((((((Ben)))))))
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/8/2008 5:19:40 PM
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bride48
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Could you ask if there's a group for family members?
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Joyfully,
DebbieLynne
Anniversary blog entry
<--In honor of Above All and Dawgfan's wedding
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/8/2008 6:24:29 PM
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groom52
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Ben, if you can't find a support group that includes family members of persons with the bipolar condition, maybe after a time you could see if the members of the group you've visisted might ask their family members if they would consider getting together to form a new group.
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John (groom52), the very happy hubby of Deb (bride48)
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 5/8/2008 6:27:56 PM
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karlie
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Ben, I have no advice or words of wisdom, but just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you all. God has laid you and the rest of the family on my heart so much the past few days and I'm praying for a miracle of restoration and healing.
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Shoes CAN change your life...just ask Cinderella
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