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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/26/2008 4:59:46 PM
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magdaleine
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Good passage, Ben, and almost like it was tailor-made for you!
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Maggie
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/27/2008 10:23:45 AM
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rayofson
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stamper_ben
So, there are still issues that are being addressed by Lynn and I, but with keeping my eyes on what's True and Just no matter what happens it can be dealt with.
That's a good thing Ben.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/27/2008 10:50:37 AM
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awed
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(((((Ben)))))
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One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn' t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself. ~Lucille Ball
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/27/2008 10:53:18 AM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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Good Morning Ben and Lynn.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/27/2008 12:36:15 PM
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stamper_ben
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Good morning.
Didn't sleep well last night. I had asked Lynn earlier about why didn't she tell me she got more minutes for the cell phone. She accused me of not giving her any privacy. 
I wrote a letter to her about it around 3 AM. Asked her to try to put herself in my place and realize how unsafe she would feel in the marriage if I left and had an affair then stayed in contact with the other woman after being accepted back with open arms, just because I "cared" for her still. Didn't give the letter to her yet. I may not.
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We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/27/2008 12:40:54 PM
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karlie
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((((Ben))))
One thing I've learned in my counseling classes, is that when you are recovering from an affair, all bets are off for privacy for a very long time. She needs to be willing to be an open book to you while trust is reestablished. I hope she soon realizes the need to sever all ties with this man completely. She needs to walk away from him and never look back.
I'm praying that God opens her eyes to what her part of restoring the marriage will require of her.
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Shoes CAN change your life...just ask Cinderella
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/27/2008 4:56:31 PM
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bride48
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Exactly, Karlie! Lynn can't expect Ben's trust right now. He's been extremely merciful, and I pray she'll appreciate it.
I'm amazed that he trusts her with a cell phone at all!
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DebbieLynne
Kidnapped!
<--In honor of Above All and Dawgfan's wedding
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/27/2008 5:10:22 PM
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groom52
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I, too, deeply respect and admire you, Ben. You've been painfully hurt, and wounds like that heal very slowly.
I was glad to read your post of your turning to Scripture when you couldn't sleep. We sure do need God's Word as part of His Spirit working in us.
The words we speak or write to one another are also very important, and you show great wisdom in not expressing everything that comes to mind right away. We will pray that God helps you to know good godly timing as well as what to pass along.
God, please continue to give Ben wisdom that is beyond his or our imagination as to what to expect. Let him know what to say and when to say it. And, Lord, speak to Lynn's heart that she might be receptive to what will help heal this marriage.
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John (groom52), the very happy hubby of Deb (bride48)
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/28/2008 6:40:16 AM
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cherish405
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(((((((((((((((((((((((((BEN)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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*** My name is Trish and I'm His daughter, desirous and glorious in His sight ***
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/28/2008 10:23:11 PM
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rayofson
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One thing that I do sometimes is to write letters that I never deliver. It helps me to collect my thoughts and the writing process is somehow therapeutic. Then I have to seriously check my motives if I still want to give the letter to the potential recipient. Most times I decide that the best thing is to keep it to myself.
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Please don't feed the Ogre.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/29/2008 2:00:36 PM
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cherish405
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About the only writing I do these days is to snail mail pals.
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*** My name is Trish and I'm His daughter, desirous and glorious in His sight ***
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/29/2008 2:49:48 PM
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specky
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quote:
ORIGINAL: karlie
((((Ben))))
One thing I've learned in my counseling classes, is that when you are recovering from an affair, all bets are off for privacy for a very long time. She needs to be willing to be an open book to you while trust is reestablished. I hope she soon realizes the need to sever all ties with this man completely. She needs to walk away from him and never look back.
I'm praying that God opens her eyes to what her part of restoring the marriage will require of her.
I couldn't agree more. And I continue to pray for you both.
((((Ben and Lynn))))
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A person can see God's smile in flowers.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/29/2008 3:02:01 PM
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cherish405
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Hi Sheila! Good to see you!
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*** My name is Trish and I'm His daughter, desirous and glorious in His sight ***
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/29/2008 7:28:31 PM
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agapetos
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rayofson
One thing that I do sometimes is to write letters that I never deliver. It helps me to collect my thoughts and the writing process is somehow therapeutic. Then I have to seriously check my motives if I still want to give the letter to the potential recipient. Most times I decide that the best thing is to keep it to myself.
I've done that too. I spent a year writing and rewriting a letter to someone. Finally sent it to them but it was a very different letter to the one I first wrote. It wouldn't have helped to have sent the first one, but it did the last ~ and the response helped too.
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Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not using them in fruit salads!
My blog
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/29/2008 9:26:36 PM
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kimberlysfrog
Posts: 1482
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From: Northern California
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rayofson
One thing that I do sometimes is to write letters that I never deliver. It helps me to collect my thoughts and the writing process is somehow therapeutic. Then I have to seriously check my motives if I still want to give the letter to the potential recipient. Most times I decide that the best thing is to keep it to myself.
I'd also add that if you decide not to give her the letter, to destroy it so she never runs across it accidentally. That can be very damaging.
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<~~~ A tisket, a tasket, Riley in a Basket!
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/30/2008 8:42:00 AM
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stamper_ben
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Evan was up at that time that I was writing and that next day he asked her what it was that I was up writing. So, since she knew about it I went ahead and gave it to her. Her answer to my question on how she would feel if I were to keep in contact with someone had to do with whether or not she was blind, had no friends and few resources. She really doesn't get it. I mean doesn't get what the problem here is, fueled by much of what I know happened between them (yes, way TMI is known).
The therapist had a mantra to repeat when I'm having to deal with the hurt. Keep saying "It's not me or thee, it's the disease." 
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/30/2008 10:57:54 AM
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rayofson
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(((((Ben)))))
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Please don't feed the Ogre.
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/30/2008 11:00:14 AM
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awed
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rayofson
(((((Ben)))))
I ditto that. (((((Ben)))))
_____________________________
One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn' t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself. ~Lucille Ball
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/30/2008 12:43:03 PM
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cherish405
Posts: 29989
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From: Australia
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(((((((((((((((((((((BEN)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
_____________________________
*** My name is Trish and I'm His daughter, desirous and glorious in His sight ***
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/30/2008 2:45:44 PM
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magdaleine
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That is so cool! I love seeing deer at the side of the road.
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Maggie
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/30/2008 5:44:24 PM
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bride48
Posts: 5026
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Deer are beautiful, aren't they?
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Joyfully,
DebbieLynne
Kidnapped!
<--In honor of Above All and Dawgfan's wedding
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/30/2008 7:29:53 PM
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karlie
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From: Central California
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That is so cool about the deer, Ben! One night at camp, about 5 years ago, we were doing our worship service in the outdoor amphitheater the night before the kids got there. Just as we ended one of the songs, four deer came bounding right by us and into the woods. It was amazing, the timing and just being in the midst of God's creation worshiping Him.
_____________________________
Shoes CAN change your life...just ask Cinderella
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/30/2008 8:34:50 PM
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magdaleine
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That's cool, Karlie!
The news tonight reported a deer on one of our busiest streets during rush hour. Someone apparently called for the authorities to help the deer get to safety and the authorities said that it was better for the deer to do it on its own and apparently it did. Poor thing.
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Maggie
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RE: Benny's Best Stalwart Bastion of Resolute Biases - 6/30/2008 11:44:38 PM
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humbleinspirit
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Very nice on the deer Ben!
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The neighbor next to this yard came out and threw some deer corn out on his front lawn and they trooped on over there. We just stopped in the middle of the road and watched for a bit until some folks were walking down the street from the other direction and the deer spotted them and took off into the woods. All but one anyway. She was looking around after the others left like "What's the matter with you guys? The corn is good!" About that time I let up on the brake pedal and the truck made a noise and then she took off running. 
