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Somewhere in the middle - 12/16/2007 1:19:03 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
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From: Upper West Side, Planet Earth
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I have always believed that God was a loving, compassionate God, slow to anger and quick to forgive. I get a little annoyed at those that describe God in a manner where he sits on his throne, passing judgements and condemnations. There are more than a few that want to interpret God's Word to be almost a law book. It becomes a book of rules, regulations and comdemnations. Verses are read from a literal aspect and definition bordering on law books. They have a black and white sense of rules and regulations reminscent of the Pharisees.
On the other hand is those that spout a belief that you can live anyway you want and still be forgiven. They have found a way to live partly in the world and partly in God's word. Basically, a compromise of sorts or sitting atop a fence, picking and choosing which of God's commands you agree with and will follow. Being a good Christian is more about works, church attendance and place in society. "I am a good person so I'm ok in God's eyes or I'm not as bad as....," seems to be their motto. They may look at faith in a superficial way, never bothering to delve deeper into the Word to really get to know Jesus. Obedience and sacrifice to God is something rather alien.
I would like to think I'm in somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. I tend to look at scripture and God's commands on living in an overall context. I never try to take things out of context or isolate any particular scripture as more important than any other. Of course, in some sense, there are those verses that are clearly more important when it comes to salvation (something for another post). I wonder at the interpretation we all use of scripture. I dare say that none of us have ever read scripture in its original form. How many of us can even claim to be able to read and interpret ancient Greek and Hebrew? Some arrogantly say that their way of interpreting scripture is the correct way as they may quote, quote, quote the same verse over and over. (annoying, huh?) They leave out other scripture that clarifies God's position in more detail. From the world's view, becoming a Christian isn't anything but following rules. No mercy, grace or joy there. Why bother? Some may say that it contradicts itself and it is not hard to see why. If one has commited a particular sin, lets say murder but has asked for and has been forgiven, then they are no longer a murderer (in God's eyes). But the legalists of the world may say once a murderer, always a murderer and condemned. Isn't that what scripture says? Sarcastically, NO! If scripture says that our sins are forgiven, then why would these same legalistic types continue to describe one as a murderer?
I guess, what I'm trying to say is that when I ask or anyone else asks for forgiveness of sins that we are forgiven. But part of that forgiveness comes with a price. Price, you may ask? Yes. It means that if I expect God to forgive me then I must be willing to forgive others who have sinned against me. Why should I expect forgiveness if I am unwilling to give it myself? Not an easy task at times but one we are commanded to do. So I forgive. I don't think forgiveness is as much as a feeling of not being upset, mad, etc. but a decision to be faithful to God's Word. Years ago I asked God to help me forgive someone for a bunch of somethings that had plagued me for many years. The offenses were enormous in my mind as it has lead to some continuing pain, hurt and other emotions not easily described. I prayed and ask God to help me forgive this person. Though I did not "feel" the forgiveness I spoke it. It took nearly 2 years but the forgiveness came from my heart.
I realize that I am far from perfect and not a Biblical scholar in any imagination of the word. I don't speak ancient Hebrew or Greek so I have to trust in the translations that others have written on scripture or do I? I am, however one that hears very clearly from the Holy Spirit from time to time. I have had confirmation from God on many ocassions. I can't really describe it other than a deep knowledge, something you just know. In areas where the legalistics of the world have argued, I've asked God personally to reveal to me HIS interpretation of HIS Word. He has clearly led me in a deeper understanding of what He means. He continues to amaze me each and every day. His word truly does live and he speaks through more than just the ink on a page. Its meaning is more than the definition of words. It takes on a life of its own and has a depth that few of us can truly imagine. It is only when the Holy Spirit Himself translates can we most vividly SEE God's Word in all its glory. Personally, I'd much prefer to hear HIS interpretation than anyone elses.
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Pharasees today - 12/17/2007 4:54:23 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
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I guess in continuation of the recent theme I had a thought I'd like to share. I recently had a rather interesting conversation with one that tends to take a more legalistic approach to scripture. They tend to forget the areas where Jesus talks of forgiveness and shows compassion but it's all law, law, law. In replying to such beliefs I thought of a way to look at the Bible and scripture. Now, I must admit that I'm not trying to negate anything in God's Word but only a prespective on how some may view scripture.
Let's say you are sitting at a traffic light. We, in the US know that red light means stop. It is common knowledge and a most universal theme, I'd say. Let's say the traffic lights malfunctions and the light never changes to green. Those that are legalistic may say that the law is the law. You sit there until the light changes. It's the law after all and to proceed means you are breaking the law and should be punished appropriately. If they were to continue to wait for the light to be repaired, they may wait hours or even days for a repairman to fix the problem. In their effort to abide by the law they cause a back up, harsh feelings and probably more than a few irrate motorists behind them. But, the law is the law, isn't it?
Now, another may have a completely different take on the situation. They may see and realize that the light is not working properly. They realize that the law was established to provide protection and guidance. They might be watchful and proceed with caution understanding the overall intent of the laws created. The rationale there is that all laws are not to tell us what to do or what not to do but merely to instill order, guidelines and safety. Does the law refer to those proceeding under these circumstances or merely those who defy the lawmakers and live according to their own rules?
Now I realize that this analogy is not perfect and quite flawed but I feel it gets the point across. It's like the Pharasees of Jesus' day. The law said the Sabbath was a day of rest but the Pharasees determined that by walking even a particular distance could be interpreted as work and thus violated that command of rest. Its like saying, you can walk 500 feet and are ok but if you dare to walk 510 feet, you are sinning! Sounds rather ridicuous today, doesn't it? That is legalism.
I think when you take scripture out of context and continue to label one by their sin, real or perceived based upon ones interpretation or even AFTER one has been forgiven, then you minimize the power of the blood of Christ. Its like the sacrifice Jesus made for our sins was not quite good enough to cover everything. This die hard analysis and focus tends to turn people away instead of to Jesus. The lost may see more of the confrontation or condemnation of sinners instead of the compassion and forgiveness that can be had from a loving Savior. Think of through the centuries how many people may have not come to Christ because of His followers following the law. It leads to images of critical, Bible thumping, judgmental, hate-mongers of the past. Remember the book,The Scarlet Letter? Remember how the towns folk turn on Hester Prim and made her sin public? Did they show the compassion of Christ or did they attempt to crucify her with Him? Would this tactic work today? Doubtful. Who wants to learn about Jesus if all His followers sit in judgment? If they do, then God must also.
Please don't think I'm advocating living in contrary to God's commands as I don't. What I am trying to say is that before we sit and judge people by scripture, we should first have the attitude of Christ. Be careful as to your interpretation of scripture as we may not be as accurate as we'd like to think we are. Few of us can fluently read, decipher ancient languages of the original scrolls so for us to know exactly what Jesus meant 2000 years ago, Let us remember the saving grace and mercy of Christ. Allow us sinners to be convicted and judged by God Himself, not by those arogant enough to claim to know every nuiance of God and His Word. I guess it all goes back to Matthew where Jesus talks about being careful not to point out the speck in another's eye but remove the plank from your own first. Maybe we need to re-read Nathanial Hawthorne's "The Scarlet Letter" and learn from the Puritans how not to treat the fallen.
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Holidays: A time to reach out - 12/18/2007 1:34:02 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
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From: Upper West Side, Planet Earth
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I remember back in college that in one of my many psychology classes, we discussed that more and more people struggle with depression over the holidays. Suicides increase during these times as those affected by depression are more likely to give in to despair, loneliness and lack of hope. How tragic that at a time when love and hope should be strongest too. Think of who may be affected. Do you know of someone who has lost a family member and may be alone during the holidays? How about those struggling with the after affects of divorce or who has little or no family close by? Maybe a single mom or dad that won't be seeing their children for Christmas? Or someone who may have lost a job or is facing severe financial difficulties? How about someone whose family is just very far away and will be alone this year? Regardless of the reason, I dare say that we all may know someone who needs to feel love this blessed holiday season.
So, as we celebrate the birth of Christ and the gift of God so wonderfully sent, let me encourage you to reach out to someone who may need you at Christmas. Talk with your family and reach out to someone in need. If you are alone, then ask to be part of someone's family celebration. I can not think of a greater gift than the gift of love and friendship at such an important time.
So, in the spirit of giving let us not forget to pass on the gift of love to those who may need it the most. You never know, you may be saving a life in the process.
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Christmas Blahs - 12/21/2007 1:49:03 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
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I've had a hundred different things roaming around in my head the past few days. I wasn't sure where to start or what to express being as it is so close to Christmas. I thought of something warm and mushy, something thought inspiring, maybe something funny and uplifting. But then...nothing. I'm a blank sheet. What a concept for me. An open slate and nothing profound to say. 
We still do not have a tree, nor have we decorated in any shape or form. You would never know it was just a few days before Christmas at our house. I had imagined that by today, December 21st that I'd at least have some Christmas Spirit that would be obvious to the rest of the world. But alas, no. I did a few Christmas cards and the obligatory Christmas shopping although it's rather minimal this year but that's another story. Nothing is wrapped yet but sitting on the bed in the guest room.
Why am I so blah? Good question. It's not that I'm angry, depressed or anything like that I just don't seem to care this year about anything Christmas related. Maybe all this "blah-ness" is related to the stresses, pressures and un-met expectations of 2007. Maybe its all the commericalism that seems to increase each and every year. Maybe that "Merry Christmas" has almost become politically incorrect as it seems to remind people that Jesus Christ was born. Maybe its all the retailers attempting to avoid offensive language like "Merry Christmas". Or maybe its simply that I'm just not in the mood for a change. But then how would you explain Tony's blah attitude toward Christmas this year? Even Katy doesn't seem to be too enthusiastic. Could I be rubbing off on them or are they rubbing off on me? Hmmm, something to ponder. Just like that argument: Does life imitate art or does art imitate life?
I do hope that my posts do not give the impression of being moody, depressed, melancholoy or anything remotely negative or pessimistic. Tony is the eternal optimist (makes me crazy sometimes) but I'm the realist. I think I've gone into that before.
So, in honor of a most wonderful holiday I would like to wish you and yours a most joyous Christmas! I promise that in spite of my Christmas Blahs that New Years will be different. Won't it? I guess time will tell!!! 
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Christmas 2007 - 12/26/2007 12:10:12 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
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Christmas is over! Whew! It's been a busy, rather hectic time and a mom that has been stressing over everything being perfect. Also, getting a bit oversensitive and paranoid in the process. 
Christmas Eve Day started out with things to do around the house and wrapping. I spent most of the day painting. I've been giving my mom a Christmas village piece by piece each year. Nothing like waiting until the last moment to finish the church! It was completed just in time for me to shower and get ready for our Christmas eve service. My brother had come up from Florida and had spent a couple days with our father before heading to our mom's Sunday afternoon. He wanted to go to church with us. MAJOR DEAL!!! (I'll explain in a later post). Anyway, our church had our Christmas service/music and play at 5 pm. It was a very contemporary take on the Christmas story. Tony is more of a traditionalist when it comes to such things so he didn't care for it too much. It was good and showed a great deal of talent and practice. It all ended with a candlelight singing of "Silent Night". A light dinner at my mom's and opened gifts at her house before heading home to enjoy our own private Christmas eve of opening our few gifts.
Christmas Day started early. Christmas dinner was at my mom's house this year. Something very different from previous years. My father and step-mother came over, my MIL and BIL came and our kids as well as my brother Keith from Florida. It was a yours, mine and ours kind of deal. The day went well, lots of people in and out and everyone had a good time. Contrary to popular belief, blended families and former spouses can get along just fine when one chooses to forgive and let go.
All in all, we had a good Christmas. It wasn't the exciting, fun-filled Christmas' of my childhood but a more grown up version. Despite not having put up a tree or decorated for the season and even having some serious Christmas blahs, it was a good Christmas afterall. I must admit that it was rather nice to come home and not have to face de-decorating. No tree to take down, no ornaments to wrap, no lights to wrap up, no pine needles to sweep up. I guess I've got another 11 1/2 months to go before worrying about Christmas decorating. Something I'd rather not think on just yet.
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A New Year - 2008 - 1/1/2008 3:29:56 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
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From: Upper West Side, Planet Earth
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Well, 2007 is no more and here we are a new day, a new year, 2008. I don't doubt that we all start each new year with hopes and dreams of it being our very best year yet. We make plans, set goals and resolutions on just how we are going to make it the absolute best we can. We start out thinking that all the problems, struggles and difficulties of the prevous year are over and that a new year means a do-over. In reality, we cannot get do-overs but but its nice to think we have a chance to start over.
For me, 2007 was one of the most difficult years. Tony and I fought with every ounce of our being to maintain our faith and positive attitude despite some real tests and challenges. The stresses of the past year have taken its toll on us physically, mentally, emotionally and certainly financially. But it is only in difficult times when you grow in your faith. We've certainly had that and we did grow and mature in our faith. We have been so blesed to have maintain our very close relationship through all the struggles. We have seen God at work, not as we would have hoped but in ways we would not have expected. We would have hoped that He would have provided a way to avoid all the financial and tax issues but we continue to trust that He will provide a way to pay it all off in the end.
We've seen God heal this year from some health scares and illness that have amazed us. No more incredible was when Tony was bitten by a brown recluse spider. We have heard and read where serious infections and where the skins is being eaten away by poison that can lead to huge wound and major scars. We've also heard of those that have suffered nerve damage and one lady we heard of recently is in a wheelchair. In order for us to treat this bite we violated all the medical advise we found but we were desperate. We didn't have the money or medical insurance to see a doctor and just prayed for the Great Healer to be our personal physician. We watched in utter amazement how God healed him and yet there is barely a visible scar smaller than the size of a dime! How wonderful God is! We currently are having some health issues that we are trusting to Him to heal us of. Since we have seen first hand of the power of God, we have no problem trusting Him to heal us of these other problems.
Another blesing in 2007 is something I never would have believed possible. Our house had a small deck 10 x 10 foot that was old and not very stable. Our small cat would literally shake the entire deck just by running down the steps. We had wanted to replace it with a much larger one but the expense was far beyond what we could even consider. Our meager income wasn't even enough to pay our living expenses much less have the excess to build a new deck and even one as large as we'd like. Our deck was so important to us as we so enjoy staring up at the western sky stargazing. We are both always amazed at the vastness of God's creation and its wonders. But God provided us with a new deck. No, we didn't get the money and no one just miraculously showed up to build one, but we were given approximately $3000 worth of lumber. A business friend of ours purchased a tractor trailer load of lumber at an auction. He wanted only the molding and didn't care about all the lumber. He told us to get what we wanted and even told us we could have it all. We were shocked! There were a few support posts that we needed to buy and we were able to purchase them in Nov. We started one weekend in Nov. tearing down the old one. While the new one has gone up very slowly, on weekends and afternoons, we now have a new deck. It's so much bigger than what we could have ever afforded to build. It continues to take up daylight hours on weekends but it is nearing completion. All that is left is to complete the railing on the steps and stain and seal it. I continue to be awestruck by the grace of God. He even provides us our wants from time to time. Our new deck is 16' x 20'. Much larger than the previous one, very sturdy and something that we will always be thankful for. Only God can lead a man, an unbeliever at that to just give away such a gift.
I guess, in the end 2007 was a year that we found an oasis or two through our journey though the desert. We continue to search through the sands always striving for that promise land. We will, unlike the majority of Israelites reach and pass into the promise land. We will have faith that God can and will defeat the giants of the new land. As Joshua and Caleb trusted in God and believed that nothing is impossible, we will also. So, for 2008 Tony and I continue our journey toward the Promised Land. We know that God can and will defeat our giants and lead us home.
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HGTV DreamHouse 08 - For Wealthy Only - 1/3/2008 1:19:49 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
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Earlier this week, Tony and I were watching the unveiling of HGTV's Dream House 2008. It's located on the ocean in Islamorada, FL. A beautiful island chain in the Florida Keys. Since we met, our dream of retiring to this beautiful location along the keys. Being as I was born and raised in Florida, it has always been my goal to move back. In fact for the past year a map of the Florida Keys is hanging on the wall near my desk. I kid you not! I had dreamed of moving somewhere between Key Largo and Marathon. No joke!
Anyway, HGTV has now built their 2008 version of the Dream House in my dream locale. Yee Haw! It's professionally decorated, completely furnished by Ethan Allen and even comes with a brand new GMC Yukon Hybrid (which barely fits in the single car garage). You can even check out the pictures on their website. Remember, the house is estimated at $2M.
But, all is not rosy for the winner of this years Dream House. Whether the location and accessibilty to spend time at your new dream home or if you are not into the very BOLD color schemes chosen by the decorating staff, or even if you have issues with a lot of stairs, you may find your dream house has it's share of issues. But if you love the sunsets over the Atlantic, unlimited sports fishing and snorkling and scuba diving, you may find this a real dream come true, but a very expensive dream. Even though you are winning this amazing house, furniture, appliances and even a new car, worth upwards of $2.2M, there is a major drawback. It's called reality and taxes like having to pay closing costs, homeowners and car insurance, and all those wonderful federal and state income taxes (in the state you live in). Thankfully, you have until April 15, 2009 to pay all the federal taxes owed but what a tax bill! You see, you'll be issued a 1099 on the entire estimated retail value of the house, its contents and the car. So, even if taxes were estimated at 35% you'be be stuck with paying Uncle Sam and your home state taxman more than $722,200. How many of us can afford such a tax bill? Is the dream beginning to fade? Even if you win the lottery, the taxes are taken off the top. You can't do that with a house, furniture and a car. So, then you try and figure out how you can manage to afford such a "gift". You won't have gift taxes, estate taxes or sales tax but INCOME taxes that will make most of us say "thanks, but no thanks!"
Ideas on how to hold on your your new Dream House? Well, you could get an equity loan on your present house (if you have that much in equity) or even sell it all together and just move. Maybe sell everything you own and mortgage the balance. If you take out a mortgage on just the federal and state taxes, remember, you'll owe additional property and homeowners taxes again for 2009. Let's say you mortgage the entire tax bill for 30 years at 6.25%. Can you afford the payments that are just over $4700 per month? But then don't forget next years property taxes and insurance! This house doesn't sound like much of a dream after all, does it?
But, there is always the option of selling, paying off the taxes and pocketing the balance which should be $1.3M or so after taxes. Not bad but whats the point of winning a dream house that only a wealthy person could afford to keep? If you could afford to keep it, couldn't you just build it yourself to your own specs instead?
I wonder at this companies that seem so generous and giving with great advertisment and promotional give aways that are subjecting those unsuspecting "winners" of losing their prize in the end just to pay the taxes. Think of all those who have won Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on ABC. They find a deserving family that really needs some help. Add donated labor, materials and a whole design staff and a HUGE tax bill. You may have your dream house but at what expense? They may give it to you mortgage free but you'll have mortgage it just to pay the taxes. A sad excuse for turning a carwreck of a house into a modern dream house that you may have to sell in the end just to pay the taxes for all the renovations the new adjusted appraisal value.
I guess in the end to have a dream house is to make what you have already your dream. I guess I've learned not to dream outside my tax bracket for now. Not a fun idea per se but a reality based one. Someday, we'll manage to find a place that we can call our dream home, somewhere warm and tropical, somewhere we can afford without going completely broke. It may not be as grand or as large but it'll be a place where we can watch the sun rise or set from. It'll be our dream, one that we create, not one we win. HGTV, keep your Dream House. Thanks but no thanks, I think I'll just create my own right where I am. I'm not giving up on my beach cottage just yet but I'm willing to wait. So, until that time I'll keep dreaming of our place by the sea.
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Hermit crabs - 1/22/2008 1:43:31 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
Posts: 786
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From: Upper West Side, Planet Earth
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I hadn't realized that I'd hadn't posted in so long. I guess I got busy with everything else or not much to say. I do have moments when I am quiet, rather introspective. I find that the older I get the more introspective I become. I wonder if it occurs to the general population or just me. Who knows.
This past weekend I attended a women's confernce with the ladies of my church, my mom included. It was held at nearby mountain state park and lodge and was almost doomed from the beginning. Our speaker had become ill and unable to attend but were able to locate another speaker. That was fine, things happen. The plans called for a hayride and a bonfire. I don't know if any of you realize that January, even in the south is still COLD, especially on the top of a mountain. Despite colder than typical temps, we proceeded on the hayride. Here were women from 20 something to 80 something bundled up prepared for a blizzard riding behind a tractor in literally freezing temps. Our bonfire was a bust as the wood was wet from recent rains. Then our weekend was cut short due to snow/ice storm heading our way. We just wanted off that mountain before the snow/ice hit. Our poor speaker rushed through her program at lightening speed barely able to cover a fraction of what was planned. Oh well. In all honesty, there was little any of us could do. God had a plan despite the organizers so I guess in the end, we made the best of it and went home.
I hate to admit that I really didn't care about attending in the first place. I find that I'm becoming more solitary of late and often prefer to stay at home. I'm not sure why. I imagine that even if the weekend went as planned that I still wouldn't have gotten much from the sessions. I guess my heart and my spirit were unavailable. Not sure why. All I could think about even before we left was that I just wanted to go back home. I guess it didn't help that I know so few of the women in our church. We've been members for just over a year but fitting in and finding your place has been very difficult at best. Too many cliches that began in small home groups from several years back. Too many unwilling to invite someone new in. All in all, I think the problem is, for the most part with me. I'm not very assertive these days and I may not come across very friendly. I may need to address that issue later. I'm beginning to sound like a hermit (you know, hermit crab, lives in a shell not far from the shore, always trying to stay safe in my little shell?). Hmmm. Let me reflect on that thought. I told you that I was a bit too introspective! Maybe I focus too much inward these days and not enough outward.
On to a different topic...
I'm currently preparing to homeschool my dd. That alone has consumed much of my time and energy along with attempting to run the business. Seems like is a big transition right now: so many changes, so much to do, so many decisions to make. We've also begun a 10 day fast. We are praying for God's wisdom, knowledge, discernment, blessings on us, our lives, homeschooling, our finances and the direction for our business. I'm really trying to focus on developing a better relationship with the Lord. For some reason I've been compelled to read and study about David. His early beginnings and his heart for praise and worship. I often wonder why God seemingly chooses the least capable to perform the biggest tasks. Can you imagine the conversation with a very young David, the youngest in his family, a shepherd that he would one day become King and to be called a "man after God's own Heart?" What did David have that have that God choose him to be king? Courage, maybe? Strength? Faith? A willing spirit? What do I have that God would choose me to do something incredible for him? Maybe not on the same scale as David but certainly as important in God's master plan. I wonder. What characteristics, traits, strengths, talents or even past trials and tribulations can or will God use to serve others. I guess it all depends on my willing heart and courage to be available to be used by Him. Maybe this fast will bring about insight on how God wants to use me to further His purposes. While I may never be the next Queen Esther or Mary, I can make sure that I am available for whatever purpose He has. I guess that means I've got to step out in faith and get out of the water. Maybe its time I set aside my shell and step out on the beach knowing that God will protect me from the seagulls.
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Valentine's Day - 2/14/2008 4:48:05 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
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From: Upper West Side, Planet Earth
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Valentine's Day. What thoughts does it bring? Is it excitment and expectations of flowers, candy and romance? Whose idea was Valentine's Day? Why do we get all excited and make such a big deal out of this peusdo-holiday. Am I sounding overly cynical? Well, maybe I am. I apologize to those of you who really look forward to this day devoted to romance. But for me it seems too consumer-driven out of guilt that if you don't spend hordes of cash on that special someone your name is certainly mud! And then for those who are dateless or alone on Feb. 14 evokes pity and sadness from those who aren't.
Why am I so cynical on this supposedly special day? I guess when you see all the marketing geared toward consumers to spend, spend, spend it kind of rubs off that way. The guilt that it all brings to purchase and out-do your friends or impress that special someone. Some years ago I stood for a while in a store just watching people in the Valentine gifts aisle. You know the stuff, cute little stuffed bears, cups and mugs with hearts and x's and o's. Flowers galore, considerably overpriced for the ocassion. Heart shaped boxes of chocolates that you know will go straight to your thighs and the ever growing ailse of cards that either sing, some make you laugh, or are overly mushy and sentimental. Remember, these words are merely the sentiments of some anonymous writer at Hallmark or whatever card company you choose. Notice how men tend to take very few moments choosing that special card while women will linger for what seems to be hours? Then there are the stores decorated in the most nauseating pinks and reds that the world appears that a tanker of Pepto Bismol collided with one filled iwth red food dye # whatever. Dont' get me started on jewelry!!!
Why do we fall into this trap on February 14? Why do we feel that this one day a year we are to spend money we can ill afford to show someone how much we love and cherish them? I guess that I just hate to be guilted into spending money in order to show someone I love how I feel. I hate that someone would feel so obligated to purchase stuff just because it's the right thing to do on this "special" day. I cannot stand how corporate America tells me what I should and shouldn't be buying and when. It's as bad as Christmas. If Valentine's Day is about showing and expressing love to those close to us shouldn't we be already doing that the other 364.25 days of the year?
Ok, I know I've rambled on and on so I'll let it go. I guess what I'm leading to is that we should take the time to express our feelings to those around us not only on Valentine's Day but every other day of the year. We shouldn't allow ourselves to take each other for granted, neglect to remind them of how special they are to us. In retrospect, maybe everyday should be Valentine's Day. Maybe if it were we'd have fewer divorces and conflicts with our children. No one would doubt our feelings. Maybe then we'd have more of a life as God intended us to have, full of love, compassion and a thankful heart. It's not about the stuff you give or you get but the appreciation you show. Then for all those with birthdays or anniversaries on Feb. 14 could celebrate those special ocassions without being overshadowed by such a economic driven holiday like Valentine's Day. So, to those of you with birthdays and anniversaries today, this Februrary 14, celebrate! For my husband, Tony.... Happy Birthday! I love you!
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Hatfields and McCoys: Part 1 - 2/23/2008 1:57:12 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
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Over the past few months it seems that a couple of my neighbors have begun that long lost tradition: feuding. It all started over dogs and a junk yard. Yep, sounds pretty backwoods, doesn't it? Well, let me begin my story.
We'll start with the Hatfields. Let me introduce you to my next door neighbor we refer to as Fred Sanford (as in Sanford and Sons). You remember, the 70's tv show where the guy owned a junk yard. In all honestly he's more a combination of Fred Sanford and Larry the Cable Guy. Picure a white boy with a redneck mentality and a junkyard and you've got it! Well, Fred and family moved in almost a year ago. This house has seen more than 10 different families in the 11 years of its existance. Sadly for us, it is a rental now after the previous owners had lost the house in foreclosure. YeeHaw, I see my property values plummet!!! Well, Fred is the owner's son so we were hopeful that he'd respect not only the house but the neighborhood. Maybe... finally we'd get some good neighbors and not a second rate soap opera. WRONG! When he moved in he managed to bring a junk yard with him. One of his first home improvements was not to clean up the junk but erect a flag pole. Fine, I'm as patriotic as the next but he choose to raise the Confederate stars and stripes. To those who are not as familiar with the south may not realize that not everyone celebrates the confederacy but looks at it as a reminder of slavery and oppression. Now this declaration wasn't taken to too kindly throughout our valley. You see, I live in a multicultural/multiracial neighborhood. Clearly NOT the best way to win friends and influence people. Our hopes of kind considerate neighbors were disolving before our very eyes. After several conversations and wishful thinking he did manage to clean up some of his junk. Of course his wife nagging him and the county insisting upon the removal of the old appliances, paint cans, old lawnmowers, and various other landfill items helped. He managed to pile up what was left at the back of his yard against the 6' privacy fence. Now, this fence is not his nor does it butt up against his property. There is a 5 or 6' gap between the property line and the neighbors fence.
Now Fred isn't the easiest person to get along with. He's one of those in your face kind of guys: horrible attitude, very poor diction and the education and sense of a sewer rat. Loves to tell fish stories. You know the kind of story where the fish literally grows the more the story is told? Did I mention the dog? All junk yards need a junk yard dog. Dixie, a black lab mix has run of the neighborhood and loves trash. Dixie also enjoys sharing her treasure with the neighbors and has been quite generous to us. Just thinking about her little "gifts" makes me all warm and fuzzy!
Well, last summer we experienced a rather severe strom with damaging winds, hail, etc. The neighbor to the back of Fred, Ms. McCoy lost most of her privacy fence. Yep, the same fence that hid Fred's junk. It was then that Ms McCoy discovered the massive junk that not only was on her fence but on her property as well. This fence also contained a very large German Shepherd and a smaller dog. The shepherd was known for his barking and has at times been a huge nuisance. It was not uncommon for this amazon of a dog to bark non-stop all night. Now, you had Hatfield and his junk yard and roaming dog vs. McCoy and her barking dog. Let the feud begin!
McCoy asked several times for Fred to remove his stuff from her property. He refused insisting that his stuff wasn't on her property but that her fence was on his. She asked that he contain his dog and not allow them to roam the neighborhood and incite her dogs through the fence. She warned that if her gargantuan dog would eat his if he managed to get out. Did I mention her dog being HUGE??? Ok, just checking.
Fred refused to clean up his junk, she claimed that her dogs were not a nuisance and not out at night. She traveled during the week and hired someone to let them in and out moring and evening so she was assured that her dogs were not the ones barking all night. He calls animal control to complain about the barking dogs. She calls the county and complains about his junk on her property. He continues to complain about barking dogs, she files complaints over his dog wandering the neighborhood. And the story continues.....
In all honesty, McCoy's dogs were a problem. On one of our many sleepless nights last fall I even called animal control and complained. There were times that this shepherd barked the entire night. The only break was when the dog was inhaling. I certainly didn't want to cause trouble but only wanted to let her know that her dog was disturbing the peace. I was assured that complete anonimity was in order. Well, animal control relayed the complaint and even was generous to share all my info so in while working in my back yard I am introduced to Ms. McCoy. How can I describe her. She is much like her dog, very large. She towers over me by more than 6 or 8 inches. I'm beginning to see how effective Xena, the Warrior princes truly was! She wasn't very pleasant to begin with but after our lengthy conversation she warmed up. A very agressive and intimidating woman. By the end of our conversation she asked that if her dogs were ever a problem that I'd contact her personally. I promised I would and thought that it all ended there. Thanks to Fred it was only the beginning.
Back in January Fred was awakened by barking dogs at 5 am. He already knew that to have McCoy cited for dogs and fined that two neighbors would have to complain about the dogs. Well, Fred taking upon himself to be the savior of our sleep filed a formal complaint and listed Tony as a co-complaintant. McCoy recieved a citation and summons to appear in Magistrate court in March. Up until this time we had no idea. It wasn't until the 1st week of February that Fred managed to inform us of the complaint. He admited to adding Tony's name to it as he knew we wouldn't mind or care. This lone statement just dragged us into this growing feud. Now McCoy assumes we had turned on her and were taking up arms too It appears that battle lines are now drawn and I'm not sure if we are a Hatfield or a McCoy!
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RE: Hatfields and McCoys: Part 2 - 2/26/2008 3:16:43 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
Posts: 786
Joined: 1/31/2007
From: Upper West Side, Planet Earth
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And the story continues....
Once my husband figured that Fred had indeed dragged us into this feud he choose to speak to Ms. McCoy and let her know that we did not have anything to do with this legal matter. She was none too pleasant in the beginning and rather hostile to Tony when he approached her. She let him know that she was going to fight this legal complaint and would in turn and sue Fred (aka Mr Hatfield) in court for costs, damages and anything else her attorney could come up with. OK, now we had been dragged into the pits of "you know where" all because of stubborness. Fun....
Tony has this incredible gift of being open and honest and winning people over. He's an excellent communicator and put his skills into practice with Ms. McCoy a weekend later. By the end of the conversation she had begun to believe his claim that we had nothing to do with this legal action, the filed complaint or even had prior knowledge. (or at least that was the thought).
A week or so later I choose to solidify our position by offering my assistance to help find a way to help resolve this matter. I felt that there must be something I could do to help her as she had been wrongfully accused and was now being bullied by a Larry the Cable Guy imitation. She appeared to be very suspicious of my intentions and was once again hostile. She clearly did not believe that we were uninvolved. She seemed to revel in upcoming fight and would seemingly drag us down into the mire pit where she was taking Fred. But, I was not skeered! Despite her hostility I told her that I would do what I could to help her resolve this issue between her and Fred. I began by contacting those involved including courts, animal control, Fred, etc. In the end I have yet to accomplish a dismissal as it has to be Fred to dismiss it so we are on the court dockets for march 13 where she'll enter a guilty/not guilty plea. Then a court date will be set and we will all be summoned. Even though my actions have yet to bring resolution it has evidently helped her realize that we were not involved. The complaint has to be withdrawn by Fred so we are all at his mercy. Our attempts to talk to Fred and convince him to drop his feuding has resulting in that good old "I don't care" response.
Now, during all the drama of the current feud, Fred's wife of 1 year and her children (previous husband?) got tired of his immaturity and left him. She moved out mid-Feb. Then to top it off he lost his job of 1 week due it his inability to deal with his personal life. In 1 week he had asked for 6 days off. Not a good way to establish a dependable reputation. Now, his dog is no longer on the runner he made to avoid McCoy from calling animal control a month ago. This means his mangy beast roams the neighborhood digging holes in my flower beds and distributing the mounds of trash from Fred's and anyone else's garage and surrounding yard into mine. Fred has become a trainwreck. He's become a poor Britney Spears. Don't want to know about his lack of underwear but you get the point. I had hoped to talk to him about dropping his complaint and the fact that he made a fraudulent claim and used our name to file his false claim. I guess we have since become part of the McCoy side in our neighborhood feud. AARRGGG! Where's my shotgun and chewing tabackee!
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Unheeded wisdom - 3/14/2008 1:32:52 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
Posts: 786
Joined: 1/31/2007
From: Upper West Side, Planet Earth
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This is one of those days where my mind is crammed full of thoughts and wondering which to express and which to supress. I have always tried to be an encourager but it can be rather tiring at times. Some years ago my mother had given me a plaque with a saying about being such an encourager. It was touching at the time. I've hoped that in some way that I've done well by that description. In various threads I've tried to offer compassion and encouragement and a few suggestions along the way in a manner which I hope displays the love and compassion of Christ. While we've all had our shares of difficulties and struggles I have had more than enough in my own life but despite many of life's challenges I have been healed emotionally, mentally, and most importantly spiritually. I have found that God can restore true life to even the most painful of life's experiences. I know that others have suffered more than I but believe me, I've had more than my share. This is not about a contest as much about the healing power of a living God. Many of these experience have given me insight and compassion that others may not have. I try to share as much of the insight and encouragement that I have been given in a loving and compassionate way but its not always been accepted in the manner in which it was given. I am by no means perfect nor have I achieved that perfect state of Christ like living but I do hope that others can benefit from the lessons I've learned the hard way. I can't tell you how many times I have been given excellent advice and insight only to regret not having followed it.
When I was 23 I had a much older woman share some things with me from her own struggles. She meant them as not only a warning but in a way that was heartfelt and compassionate. Today, I wish more than ever that I had heeded her wisdom, insight and advice. If only I could go back and follow her advice. I could have avoided some very painful situations and realizations of today. I was a fool not to listen to this woman who had already experienced such difficulties and was struggling in dealing with them still. This woman who shared with me from her heart yet I didn't take her advice, encouragement and experiences and now I see the true value of the words she gave so lovingly all those years ago. If only I had listened, really listened and followed her most valuable advice. If only I could go back. If only....
What other pearls of wisdom did I dismiss at the time and now struggling because of it? Why is it that any of us feel that we know better than anyone else? We buy into that ideal that we are the exception, so unique and special and that all those warnings are unnecessary. Not us! We won't turn out that way or do those things! And whats worse is that we have all the pearls of wisdom we could ever need. It's it just like God to give us all we need yet many of us refuse to listen and heed it. Yeah, just like a loving God... give us all this wisdom, love, compassion and even the free gift salvation on top of it and still try to protect us from ourselves!!! Some God, eh?
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Grace and Restoration - 3/17/2008 1:01:15 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
Posts: 786
Joined: 1/31/2007
From: Upper West Side, Planet Earth
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Recently, my older brother was diagnosed with prostrate cancer. Up until this point, we had been blessed to have very little cancer in our family. There seems to be so few people today who have not been impacted by cancer in one form or another. When the diagnosis came we began to focus on healing and not the alternative. We realize that despite modern medicine that God is ultimately in control. We were and still are hopeful that this disease will help bring my brother to a relationship with Christ Jesus. He, like so many others walked an aisle as a child and was baptized but his life has shown no fruit since. For many years he had gone through a stage of anger at God and His so-called people. Keith would look at the many tv preachers and the media frenzy that accompanied their very pubicized fall from grace. It's not hard to become cynical toward Christians when you see how hard they fall especially when they appear to be living a double standard. Keith was one of those that would watch and wait for the next superstar preacher to be caught in compromising positions. The saddest part is not that a person falls but that their witness is then damaged sometimes very seriously.
During a Christmas eve service many years ago I watched as my brother made his way outside during the service. This must have been the first time he had darkened a door of a church in more than 20 years. His disgust was very apparent as he exited the building. I followed him out. He went into his tirade of how this pastor had probably never even met God. He had begun judging this pastor for the sins of others in similar position. He had decided that all men were as corrupt and didn't know God as was those in the public eye who had publically betrayed the millions they supposedly served. Always the intellectual type Keith continued his barage at all those called to serving through chruch. He, like so many others justify their absence from church and a walk with Jesus by the actions of a few. Too many justify their rejection of Christ and His church based on the "hypocrites" that sit in the pews each Sunday. Keith was not exception. But then the thought occured to me, aren't we all hypcrites at one time or another? We may say one thing but may react in a most un-Christ-like manner at times. Are others viewing us as hypocrites too? If we talk one way and act or even react another is that affecting our witness to the unsaved and even saved of the world? I know I'm guilty of not always living in a way that honors Christ. But then I am forgiven, aren't I. We all are. We have no right to sit in judge each other when we slip and fall on ocassion. This is what I pointed out to my brother. Regardless of the sin in our lives and our subsequent fall from grace we can be forgiven and restored. That's the great thing about grace. It's not getting what we deserve. We have that remarkable gift from God that can restore us when we fail even if it is publically. God desires us to be restored with him as we continue to pray that Keith's health will be restored. He recently underwent surgery and is now home recuperating. It is my prayer that during his healing that he will find spiritual healing and restoration as well.
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Forgive and Forget? - 3/20/2008 3:19:05 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
Posts: 786
Joined: 1/31/2007
From: Upper West Side, Planet Earth
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When we sin and are forgiven are we still known by that sin? I mean if we commit murder and are forgiven are we still a murderer? I'm not talking about our earthly criminal justice system but God's prespective. Too many believe once a murderer, always a murderer. When God forgives does he wipe the slate clean? He may not take away the earthly consequences but are we not righteous by the blood of Christ and clean in His eyes? If God can forgive why do we as Christians still identify one with their sin? We can understand the rest of the world not forgiving but Christians?
Some years ago a pastor of a nearby church was found to be having an affair. This discovery lead to this other person's divorce. This pastor was seen to be quite full of himself as was his wife. He and others had built quite a high pedestal for them both. His wife was known to be rather arrogant, materialistic, judgmental and holier than thou. This discovery crumbled any pedestal and made them face a lot of things they had been denying. They both apologized to the church and left in shame. In following two years they both faced some humbling and humiliating facts about each other and themselves. They set out to repair their lives, their walk with the Lord and their marriage. In the end they managed to discover the incredible power of forgiveness and learn to truly walk with Christ as never before. They had renewed their faith and their marriage and felt lead to start a church. They weren't the same people they were before. They were changed. They were forgiven and had found such a compassion for sinners like never before. But it seems that even though God had forgiven them many others had not. Many still define them by their sins.
If God forgives and wipes away the sin of adultery are we still an adulterer? The world may say yes and even some Christians may agree but what does God say? His Word tells us that we have all sinned and come short of the glory of God and that sin can be forgiven. In the end we are all sinners. So if God can forgive and forget why can't we? Why do we tend to remind others of their past sins and want God and everyone else to forget ours? Do Christians set a double standard on forgiveness? Instead of comparing ourselves to each other let us compare oursevles with Christ maybe then we'll have more compassion and forgiveness toward others.
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Fair weathered Christian? - 3/24/2008 4:14:37 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
Posts: 786
Joined: 1/31/2007
From: Upper West Side, Planet Earth
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Recently my husband and I were talking to a friend about the state of the economy, business and our very uncertain futures. He owns his own business and is seeing a continuing decline of work brought on by the drought and the waning economy. He used to be rather confident in his business and his faith but it seems that his confidence is strarting to crumble. We have all seen or heard of businesses closing, people losing jobs, houses and other serious financial troubles. Its a scary time when life is less certain and finances are less reliable. Here in the U.S. we have watched with disbelief the ever-rising gas prices and jobs loses. It seems that each of us are facing some difficult times in one way or another. How long this will last is uncertain but Tony is convinced that it will remain until the election is over. Personally, I hate election years when politicians are slinging mud and political coverage dominates all our airwaves and the economy is based on speculation and what ifs rather than evidence but I'll leave that for another post. Regardless of how long these economic trials continue it forces us to rely on our faith if we are to survive all the uncertainty. As business owners we know that we can never be truly safe where business is concerned. All business face risks. There are no guarantees. Sometimes these added risks lead to stresses, fear and even panic unless you are truly relying on God to provide. Isn't it easy to be strong of faith when all is going well? We skate through those good times and enjoy them but are we truly thankful for them? Are we as prepared as we should be when those difficulties come our way and when our world becomes uncertain? It seems rather simplistic that we can rely on ourselves to meet our needs when times are good but with that thought where do we go when things are not so good? We all know those that seem to put God in a box and pull Him out when they need Him but what about those other times? This is what I call a fair-weather Christian. I think we've all been there at one time or another. We don't feel we need or want God's interference unless we are in a position where we cannot figure a way out. I'm not saying that this friend is such a Christian but his faith that God will provide seems to have nearly disappeared. Its sad really, to trust when its easy and to give up when life is tough. How many times do any of us fall into that fair-weather faith? I know I've been guilty. There are times when things are going well that I put less into my prayers and trust more in my situaiton than on Him. Where does my faith go during those times of plenty? Do I trust in Him completely to meet all my needs when it seems that they are being met and then some? Do I take for granted God's blessings and neglect that spirit of thankfulness? I hope not but I imagine we are all guilty of taking for granted those blessings that make life worth living. Think about it, how many times have you been thankful for a warm spring day? Isn't it usually after a long period of cold, rain and dampness? It seems to me that God allows us to face those uncertain times so we can learn to appreciate times of increase and blessings. If life were always easy would we truly appreciate it or take it for granted? Either way I'm determined not to be a fair-weather Christian ever again. If I am going to stand up and claim a faith of the Living God and trust that He will meet my needs don't I have to trust 24/7 and not just when I can't handle it myself? I hope that I can encourage all Christians to live a life of appreciation and trust on a full time basis. I guess I need allow that spirit of thankfulness to shine even brighter than ever.
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Class Reunion - 4/2/2008 3:58:10 PM
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NoDumbBlonde
Posts: 786
Joined: 1/31/2007
From: Upper West Side, Planet Earth
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I recently recieved notice that my high school graduating class was organizing a class reunion in August. A myraid of emotions begin to take hold. First is wow, I wonder what happened to.... Then the thought of actually attending comes to mind along with the panic. Is it too late to lose 1000 pounds and get a face lift and a new career and income?
Just the notification brings back memories, some good and some not so good. High school was fine. I had a group of friends that by our senior year had begun to drift apart due to a new member of our group. This new member (ST) from the beginning began to drive a wedge between me and the others. I was always the straight-laced, goody-goody type that didn't get high, sneak out at night or rebell against their parents. I had my share of difficulties and watched my older brother set on a mission of self-destruct from drugs, alcohol and rebellion. I wanted no part of it. I guess I wasn't cool in their eyes by the time this new friend came along. By the end of my senior year I was the outcast in my own group of friends.
By our 10 year reunion these friends and I began to get reacquainted. We were all married and had moved beyond petty jealousy and juvenile behavior or at least I thought so. ST began to play the same game and convinced others that I had violated the trust of another in the form of having an affair with the husband of one. This was more than incredibly false, it was both slanderous and hurtful. Y | | |
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