|
lisapenguin -> RE: Bicycling....adventures, experiences, favorite rides etc (4/17/2007 11:12:10 PM)
|
BICYCLE DEVOTIONAL BY/FOR A SINGLE WOMAN
One day in September (years ago, when I was still single), I went out alone for a quick bicycle ride. The days were getting shorter, so I told myself not to ride too far this time, because I would soon run out of daylight. Our city’s bike trail is beautiful, but reputedly unsafe after dark.
About three or four miles out, I noticed my front tire getting soft. I didn’t have a pump with me, so I turned back. It seemed like a slow leak, so I thought I could make it most of the way. No such luck. It went completely flat and I was still more than two miles from home. I pushed the bike for awhile, but then the innertube flopped out and kept getting caught in the frame, so all I could do was pick up my bicycle and carry it.
Soon another cyclist stopped to offer help. He pointed out the cause of my flat tire: a thorn! Using his mini-wrench, he attempted to disengage the wheel from the frame in order to remove and patch the tube. But the nut was on too tight and he couldn’t budge it. He offered to let me use his cell phone, but I couldn’t think of anyone to call or how to tell them where I was, so I declined. It was getting darker and the mosquitoes were descending like vultures, so I thanked the man and continued carrying my bike.
A few other passers-by offered to help, but none of them had the right tools for the job. Most people just looked at me like I had something growing out of my forehead (probably a mosquito bite!). I plodded onward, praying for protection, strength and enough daylight.
By the time it was completely dark, I was back in my neighborhood with only about a quarter-mile to go. I was thankful to be safe, but as my exhaustion started to hit me, I began to complain to God, crying about my lack of a spouse. I trudged along with my bike bouncing against my hip and tears streaming down my face. I told Him if I were only married or even dating someone, he might have been there to help. We could have taken turns carrying the bike. Even if he hadn’t been with me, at least I would have had someone to call. I’m tired of being strong alone and always having to do everything on my own. I pleaded my own agenda: Why have I had to wait so long? I arrived home exhausted and upset, having forgotten already how God had been with me and answered my prayer on the bike trail.
Background: When I was single, I spent a lot of energy wanting to not be single. In my mid-thirties, I had never even come close to getting married. Some said that was my cross to bear. I saw it as a thorn in my flesh. The Lord gave it to me and I kept praying for it to be taken away. Somehow, though, He was using it to build my character and make me stronger, even when I was sick and tired of being strong alone. Could it be that He wanted me to see this thorn as a blessing?
Over the next few days, the Lord began to talk to me. He is never pushy. He waited until I was ready to listen. In His incredible timing, the devotional I was studying was actually dated about a week prior because I was a little behind on my reading. God knew I would need these words more now than a week ago! The first was from the Closer Walk devotional magazine, an entry entitled “The bittersweet blessing of pain.” It included some wise words that spoke to my heart: “ We achieve maturity through the bitterness of suffering.... ‘when the fire of affliction draws songs of praise from us, then indeed we are purified, and our God is glorified!’”
I really felt that God had promised me a wonderful spouse, a man He had chosen for me. I had prayed for years that God would shape and mold me into the person I needed to be for that marriage as well as for God’s purposes. One day three or four years before, I had been out walking and praying about this very subject. Right then, I looked up at the previously dull gray sky and there was a big, bright rainbow! I took that as a sign of God’s promise. Since then, I had experienced spiritual confusion because while God had been answering my prayer for growth, I had no evidence of the completion of His promise to me (i.e., the spouse).
A day or two after the bicycle incident, I read some devotional material dealing with the subject of spiritual confusion. This entry was from “My Utmost For His Highest” by Oswald Chambers. Once again, it spoke to me loud and clear: “It is not a matter of right and wrong, but a matter of God taking you through a way that you temporarily do not understand.... Will He find the kind of faith that counts on Him in spite of the confusion? Stand firm in faith, believing that what Jesus said is true, although in the meantime you do not understand what God is doing. He has bigger issues at stake than the particular things you are asking of Him right now.” This humbled me. Who am I to question God’s timing and purpose? By this time, I could see He was trying to teach me something... probably something I did not understand before.
The next day at work I saw God’s hand moving the circumstances again. I was a church music librarian and part of my job involved supplying printed lyrics for the sign language interpreter. There was a certain song to be sung by a soloist that Sunday. A few weeks earlier the music pastor had instructed me to order the songbook containing that song. I called the 800-number and found out this book would not be available until well after the date we needed it. Because of this, I couldn’t just give the sign interpreter the music, which I normally would do. I had to squint at the CD insert and type up the lyrics in a larger print. The words jumped out at me from Blessing In The Thorn: “When does the thorn become a blessing? When does the pain become a friend? When does the weakness make me stronger? When does my faith make me whole again?” God knew I needed to READ those lyrics so He made sure I had to type them!
So with this perfectly-timed triad of messages, God was telling me, among other things, that He’d been blessing me all along. Everything I’d seen as a trial, including all this waiting, had been strengthening my faith. It’s like my life is a big follow-the-dots picture: I don’t know what it’s going to look like, but God does. Most of the time, He will only direct me to the next dot. I must trust Him and be obedient to move to that dot. If I get anxious, I might try to skip ahead to a future dot too soon. If I get diverted, I might jealously strive for a dot that is actually part of someone else’s picture. Or I might stagnate by obsessing over all the dots I’ve left behind. But if I am sensitive and obedient to His will, a beautiful picture will take shape. One day I will see this picture as He sees it. Then I will fully realize how God kept me on track by prodding me with the thorns in my life.
|
|
|
|