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RE: Abortion - 7/31/2007 8:40:17 PM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 1661
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I look for the thread.
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RE: Abortion - 8/1/2007 11:18:57 AM
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howIloveHim
Posts: 46
Joined: 7/17/2007
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Memaw.
I posted in that thread, but wanted to say more here.
I think that it is so great that you are for her to keeping that baby and are doing all you can to make sure she makes the right decision. My parents were all for the abortion and when I got home everyday that what they would talk about...actually YELL at me about. So I advise that you speak to her with kind and loiving words.
It saddens me that she was for keeping the baby until after speaking with the boyfriend...i can relate because that is what happened to me. I wanted to keep my baby but my bf excuse was "we are too young and have our lives ahead of us..." Those words as well as my parents dwelled in my mind for so long that I decided they were right. How wrong that was.
_____________________________
When someone is yelling at you or angry with you, do not get angry back. Just wish blessings upon them. The reaction is priceless : )
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RE: Abortion - 8/1/2007 2:39:14 PM
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Hislittleone
Posts: 633
Joined: 7/13/2007
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I've only shared with a handful of people that I had an abortion when I was 16. I had PTSD and was in a deep depression. When I and my bf told my parents that I was pregnant they were shocked (understandably). My dad couldn't even look at me for months after that. My mom is the one who had to take charge and she prayed about it and took me to see her gyn who advised her that we should go ahead and proceed with the abortion. I was in a zombie like state....couldn't think or feel. I was numb. No other options were suggested and I just went along with what my mom and her doctor decided. I never felt much remorse or depression afterwards. I always wondered why so many women had problems after an abortion. Now that so many years have passed and I've had 2 other children I have started to feel guilt, sadness, remorse.... I have asked my mom why she chose that option and how she can feel no remorse or guilt for it. She says that she takes full responsibility for the decision and firmly believes that I would have committed suicide if I had tried to carry the baby full term. It is now my opinion that she had no right to step in to try to "save" me in that way. God had a plan and she stepped in and did her own sinful thing. She says that she believes it was what God wanted her to do. I believe now that abortion is wrong....no excuses. If a mother's life is in imminent danger then maybe, MAYBE it should be an option if the baby wouldn't survive anyway. (but that's a whole other topic) What makes it even worse is that my dad has been a minister so I always thought that one of the reasons that they wanted me to have the abortion was because they were afraid that people would find out I was pregnant and then what would become of their lifelong career in ministry? They say that it wasn't like that but I still wonder. I wish that I had questioned them more and that I'd fought to keep the baby. I hope that he'll be waiting for me in heaven and that I'll get to be his mommy there. The bf didn't want me to have the abortion either. He was bad news and I'm glad he's not in my life but we had no right to murder his child. I've sinned against God and the bf. I've asked God to forgive me and I know He has but it still hurts. My relationship with my dad has never been the same. I feel like he abandoned me at a time when I needed him so much. He couldn't look at me or hardly talk to me. I felt like I'd done something so bad (by getting pregnant) that he couldn't ever forgive me or still love me. I felt like I was a "bad" person and continued to act that out for years afterwards. (to be fair it wasn't just from the rejection by my dad but was also due to the event that led to PTSD in the first place) I love my parents and they are great people but I hate this little family secret and hate what it's done to me and to my relationship with my parents. Whew! I can't believe I'm about to post this on a public forum. Like I said, I've only shared this with a select few. Thanks for listening.
< Message edited by Hislittleone -- 8/1/2007 2:48:24 PM >
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RE: Abortion - 8/1/2007 2:49:49 PM
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dramagirl4God
Posts: 446
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Thankyou so much for sharing Hislittleone. I am so sorry for the pain in your life, and so sorry that your parents weren't there for you when you needed them to be. I think you will find this a safe place to share about what's happened.
Ok, I am noticing a trend, not just in these stories, but in other people's stories IRL. Does it seem to others that soooo many abortions happen when the mother is talked into it, told it's the best/only option, parents/bf/ etc... seem to want it more?
_____________________________
Today is a new day, and I will choose to live it with joy!
~Heather
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RE: Abortion - 8/1/2007 2:58:43 PM
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Hislittleone
Posts: 633
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Thanks Dramagirl4God. I wouldn't be surprised if that happened a lot. I don't think it's a new trend tho. Think about way back in the 50's when it was so taboo to get pregnant out of wedlock. Think of how many women would have probably been forced into an abortion back then. It's a sad subject and not one I like to discuss very often. I just don't go there.... I try not to dwell on it and remind myself when I do have feelings of sadness and guilt that God has forgiven me. I am so very thankful for His mercy and grace. I surely would be a mess without Him and certainly wouldn't be going to heaven when I die if it weren't for His gift of undeserved forgiveness and mercy.
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RE: Abortion - 8/1/2007 8:29:36 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1615
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From: an ignoble beginning
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dramagirl4God
Thankyou so much for sharing Hislittleone. I am so sorry for the pain in your life, and so sorry that your parents weren't there for you when you needed them to be. I think you will find this a safe place to share about what's happened.
Ok, I am noticing a trend, not just in these stories, but in other people's stories IRL. Does it seem to others that soooo many abortions happen when the mother is talked into it, told it's the best/only option, parents/bf/ etc... seem to want it more?
Based on statistics gathered by Concerned Women of America as well as other pro-life organizations, not to mention my own personal experiences and people I have talked with.....
I would say that more than 1/2 of all abortions the mother was talked/coerced into it by other people telling her it was the only way or that she had to...and of the remaining 1/2....I would say a large portion of them are influenced to believe that indirectly through media, etc.
< Message edited by W.O.F. -- 8/1/2007 8:35:53 PM >
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Abortion - 8/1/2007 8:37:49 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10332
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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I was too afraid to even tell my parents. Like WOF, I was date raped (my "bf" was 5 years older than me and is now in prison for child molesting) and I was sure no one would believe me. I was not a virgin and I had had sex with this man before, but we were not even together when the rape occurred and I had determined I would not sleep with him anymore.
I had a friend who had two abortions and she's the one who drove me to the appointments. I never, even to this day, told my bf. I had tried to, but he would not return my calls (he was in college).
I told my mom a couple years later, once I was married. She was devastated and insisted she would have believed me. I still don't think she would have. She does send me a card and sometimes flowers on the anniversary of the abortion. It's kind of nice to know she remembers and cares.
_____________________________
I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
~Psalm 57:9-10~
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RE: Abortion - 8/1/2007 9:15:04 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1615
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From: an ignoble beginning
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at least your mom cares.
My mom still doesn't believe me...and refuses to believe she did anything wrong in demanding I have an abortion. I am ultimately responsible..I was 18...I didn't have to sign the papers and go through with it....but when your mom is standing there telling you if you don't, she's going to have you committed and force you to have one....you don't FEEL like you have options. I did. I could have driven off (we went in my car) and left her sitting there. Imagine trying to explain to someone why you need a ride home from an abortion clinic....if I hadn't been so stupid...I would have done that....
BUT my husband believes me. The one person I was told never to tell...by my mother, a former teacher and a counselor (but not the psychology professor who helped me the most)....is the one person who believes me and knows all about it.
God is good...even when people are screwed up.
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Abortion - 8/1/2007 11:06:57 PM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 1661
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Hislittleone- welcome and thank you for opening yourself up to us. That is a hard thing to do.
quote:
ORIGINAL: W.O.F.
My mom still doesn't believe me...and refuses to believe she did anything wrong in demanding I have an abortion. I am ultimately responsible..I was 18...I didn't have to sign the papers and go through with it....but when your mom is standing there telling you if you don't, she's going to have you committed and force you to have one....you don't FEEL like you have options. I did. I could have driven off (we went in my car) and left her sitting there. Imagine trying to explain to someone why you need a ride home from an abortion clinic....if I hadn't been so stupid...I would have done that....
The final decision may have been yours, but you weren't being stupid. You were young and feeling cornered. Your emotions were probably mixed with fear, lonely, hurt, anger, etc. You aren't stupid now and you weren't then.
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RE: Abortion - 8/1/2007 11:10:45 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10332
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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quote:
The final decision may have been yours, but you weren't being stupid. You were young and feeling cornered. Your emotions were probably mixed with fear, lonely, hurt, anger, etc. You aren't stupid now and you weren't then.
That's right.
I also take full responsibility for the sin I committed. At the same time, I know that I was young, terrified, and didn't know all the things I know now. Those things do not excuse what I did, but I wasn't able to forgive myself until I realized them.
_____________________________
I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
~Psalm 57:9-10~
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RE: Abortion - 8/2/2007 1:48:48 PM
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Memaw.
Posts: 2611
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
Status: offline
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I read all of the posts and it just breaks my heart.
I am so sorry for the pain you all have and although I haven't had an abortion, I have lost 4 children through miscarriage.
I can't imagine a mother supporting (demanding) her child to go through with that procedure.
I can't imagine the grief that (according to society) can't be shown, or shouldn't be there.
My heart really goes out to each and everyone of you ladies.
I was raped at 14 and again at 16 so I know that fear of thinking no one will believe you....however...I believe you.
Thank you for laying your lives open here so that others can help you carry that hurt.
_____________________________
Life is uncertain...eat dessert first!
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RE: Abortion - 8/4/2007 5:34:40 PM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 1661
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Kim- any updates?
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RE: Abortion - 8/6/2007 7:44:09 AM
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Hazel2
Posts: 695
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Hi all ... I was away on vacation so didn't see this until now. I was the one who posted that recent thread on abortion ... will that make it possible to find? I was struggling with my lack of guilt and got so much good advice and support from you all. It is worth digging up to help any others out there who may be in the same boat!
_____________________________
Will you please remember my husband, John, in prayer He is not saved. Thank you and God bless you!
"When two people agree on everything, one of them is not necessary"
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RE: Abortion - 8/6/2007 8:52:25 AM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 1661
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Hazel's thread is HERE.
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RE: Abortion - 8/30/2007 10:33:21 PM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 1661
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I talked with a lady the other day. She told me that she had an abortion many years ago. She is struggling to forgive herself and doesn't understand that God has forgiven her. Please pray for me as I continue to dialogue with her about the abortion and salvation issues.
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RE: Abortion - 8/31/2007 6:56:01 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1615
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
Status: offline
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will do Roberta.
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Abortion - 8/31/2007 7:14:17 PM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 1661
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Thank you!
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RE: Abortion - 9/2/2007 2:18:54 AM
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Hazel2
Posts: 695
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The ultimate sign of forgiveness and mercy for having an abortion, is having a baby. I just wanted to say that in the back of my mind, all of these years, I'd kind of assumed I'd blown my chance to have kids. But God in his mercy!!
Right now, my little one is sleeping next to me peacefully. What a blessing. What love God has for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_____________________________
Will you please remember my husband, John, in prayer He is not saved. Thank you and God bless you!
"When two people agree on everything, one of them is not necessary"
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RE: Abortion - 9/2/2007 9:47:04 AM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 1661
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Hischild1994
I talked with a lady the other day. She told me that she had an abortion many years ago. She is struggling to forgive herself and doesn't understand that God has forgiven her. Please pray for me as I continue to dialogue with her about the abortion and salvation issues.
She's still struggling.
Recently she was told that she will have to have a hysterectomy and she wanted more children. The abortion was her last pregnancy.
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RE: Abortion - 9/3/2007 8:34:39 AM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1615
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
Status: offline
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I will be praying for her. Is there an Operation Rachel in your area that you can maybe refer her to? It is an outreach of the Catholic church in particular, but they don't denominational things, just offer excellent counseling and preach forgiveness of Christ.....
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Abortion - 9/3/2007 11:15:37 PM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 1661
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: W.O.F.
I will be praying for her. Is there an Operation Rachel in your area that you can maybe refer her to? It is an outreach of the Catholic church in particular, but they don't denominational things, just offer excellent counseling and preach forgiveness of Christ.....
The closest we have is a CPC that is about 25 miles away.
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RE: Abortion - 9/5/2007 10:30:05 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1615
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
Status: offline
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there is this online counseling service that may be of help...Healing Hearts
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Abortion - 9/5/2007 10:54:14 PM
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HeLuvsMeBunches
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RE: Abortion - 9/5/2007 11:08:55 PM
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Memaw.
Posts: 2611
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
Status: offline
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I found this to be an awesome site
Safe Haven Ministries
_____________________________
Life is uncertain...eat dessert first!
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RE: Abortion - 9/7/2007 12:30:14 AM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 1661
Status: offline
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I think right now she is just wanting someone to talk to. She is reaching out a lot and asking a lot of questions about forgiveness.
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