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RE: When breast WASN'T best

 
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/16/2008 8:59:50 AM   
manda59


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Someone said to me recently that they were having lots of difficulties with breastfeeding but didn't want to "take the easy way out" and bottlefeed.

I have heard this quite frequently.

I was wondering what is so wrong about wanting to make things easier for yourself, especially if you are under a lot of stress. When I switched to 100% bottle feeding, it *was* to make it easier for me - I *needed* things to be easier for me. I wept with relief, and became far more relaxed about my baby, about motherhood in general, and actually started to enjoy the whole experience far more.

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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/16/2008 9:05:42 AM   
BlessedMamaofmany


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I agree...it seems there is some sort of 'shame' in motherhood for making things easier...
I switched my third to the bottle full time at 5 months. It was a wonderful relief, and although I did have some lingering 'mommy-guilt' I got over it, and it made my life tons easier. I was able to be a much better mom to him and to my other kids.
Well said, Manda
Sandy
ps. you can totally add that to your list of siggy quotes

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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/16/2008 9:07:10 AM   
PrincessDonna


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I agree. Sometimes, it's okay to go the "easy" route.

When I had to go back to work after my first was born, I knew I did not have the physical or mental fortitude to pump. Plus, my job didn't allow for regular breaks, so I couldn't be on a schedule for pumping. I didn't even bother trying because I knew it wouldn't work. I did nurse the baby when I was with him, but that lasted 2 months before he decided he preferred the bottle.

Instead of focusing on what I wanted to give him and couldn't at that time, it would have been better for me to look back and know I was doing all I could with what I had at that time and that I had given him a good start with the breastmilk at least. Do I wish it had been different? Sure, but I wish my whole life had been different at that point. You deal with what you have to deal with...


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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/16/2008 9:20:43 AM   
manda59


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlessedMamaofmany
Well said, Manda
Sandy
ps. you can totally add that to your list of siggy quotes




Done!!

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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/16/2008 9:21:27 AM   
BlessedMamaofmany


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yes. Do what you gotta do. That's all we can do.
Sandy

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Post #: 255
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/16/2008 11:00:54 AM   
Sideways

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59
I was wondering what is so wrong about wanting to make things easier for yourself, especially if you are under a lot of stress.


Hey it's just like the natural/unnatural birthing debate or even the WOHM/SAHM debate.

For some women, they feel like if they put themselves through heck, then so should you. They deserve a medal because they did things "the right way".

Whatever makes you a better mom is the way to go, I say.
Post #: 256
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/17/2008 12:20:55 AM   
RepentanceIsRequired


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With my first two babies I did not have a problem (for the most part) going to formula when I went back to work. I wasn't mentally/emotionally prepared to make pumping and nursing work. However with Mary, I made the resolve even before she was born that I was going to breastfeed as long as possible. When I get discouraged and frustraed (which has been happening this week) and I want to give up, I don't becase part of me feels that if I do then I have failed myself, not her because I don't think Mary really cares what she eats.

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Post #: 257
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/17/2008 5:50:24 AM   
manda59


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RepentanceIsRequired
When I get discouraged and frustraed (which has been happening this week) and I want to give up, I don't becase part of me feels that if I do then I have failed myself, not her because I don't think Mary really cares what she eats.




hi there,

If this is something you really want to do and is working for you, then that is great. I don't want to try and put you off at all. But I am concerned about this notion of failing yourself - where do you think this thought may have come from?

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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/17/2008 11:24:45 PM   
RepentanceIsRequired


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I think it is simply coming from myself and my expectations. I see how many moms are able to go 6 mo, 9 mo even well over 12 mo. Then for the past several months I tell myself, "Yes, I can do it too". But when things are getting rough I begin to doubt myself and wonder if my epectations were too high.

_____________________________

--Nicole--
"Nauseatingly cute" -- Ryan's reaction to Mary's new pink sleeper.
Post #: 259
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/19/2008 8:36:52 PM   
manda59


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I guess it may depend on where you get your expectations of yourself from.

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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/19/2008 8:58:57 PM  1 votes
W.O.F.


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I think the MOST important thing, no matter what, is to Love, HOLD, and snuggle your child as much as you can...that is what "feeds" them the most...the loving, physical contact with their parent (be it birth, or adoptive).

While God made breastmilk for babies, He also gave us the knowledge for formula for those times that breastfeeding just isn't working...for whatever reason....but the basic ingredients of touching, snuggling, singing/talking to that infant during feeding never changes. EVER...no matter how we feed them...we can meet their REAL needs.

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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/19/2008 10:07:16 PM   
Mrs.X


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Great post, WOF. You are absolutely right.

Nicole, breastfeeding is hard. This time I kept setting little 2 or 3 month at a time goals for myself and kept psyching myself up for possible low supply or breastfeeding problems. That way I wouldn't be so darned dissapointed in myself if I couldn't nurse to a year. Just keep trying, but don't let it get to the point of resentment or being stressed about pumping or supplementing. Just go with the flow and whatever happens happens. Nurse when you can and want, and bottle feed when you can't.

I used to hate being so stressed our before my three days at work trying to pump enough for my shifts and then crying because there wasn't enough. Don't do that to yourself. It's horrible and makes you feel like you failed. Just keep saying to yourself, "I pump what I pump and the rest is formula." And, if you don't feel like pumping that day, then formula it is. You are working full-time, give yourself a break, hon.

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Post #: 262
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/19/2008 10:18:19 PM   
RepentanceIsRequired


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Thank you Christina for your words. I am not working yet, but will be soon. I am keeping it in mind that I may not be able to keep it up while working. I'm finding that almost each day is different. Mary will change her likes in positions and how she eats. I go with the flow each day.

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--Nicole--
"Nauseatingly cute" -- Ryan's reaction to Mary's new pink sleeper.
Post #: 263
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/29/2008 9:53:33 AM   
manda59


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sideways
Whatever makes you a better mom is the way to go, I say.



Breastfeeding became so stressful for me with my ds (mastitis, blanched nipples, ds wouldn't feed from one breast and there wasn't enough in the other) that I used to literally shake when he woke for a feed, and would cry as I was feeding him - especially from the severe pain as he first "clamped" on.

Even half and half became too much, and I did indeed become a better mother when I switched over totally to bottlefeeding.

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Post #: 264
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/29/2008 11:25:27 AM   
DenimDiva


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sideways
Whatever makes you a better mom is the way to go, I say.


I agree!!

A few years ago I went over to visit a friend who'd just had triplets. She was in tears because her sister wanted to "help her" by sending LLL info and calling her several times a day to inform her of all the benefits of nursing. She had been bombarded with so much anti-bottle information that she felt like a bad mom and her babies were home from the hospital for week or so!

Someone had suggested to her that she hire a wet nurse to come in and feed the babies for her.
1- She didn't want a stranger handling her babies.
2- She pointed out that she had no way of knowing what the woman had ingested and how that would effect her babies.

None of this did anything to help her PPD.

One of my trips over there I took along another friend. This other friend had also had very awesome experiences in nursing. The other friend pointed out to her that if she was nursing then we wouldn't have as much of a need to get together every morning for coffee and baby feeding and girl talk!
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/3/2008 4:20:36 PM   
manda59


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva
One of my trips over there I took along another friend. This other friend had also had very awesome experiences in nursing. The other friend pointed out to her that if she was nursing then we wouldn't have as much of a need to get together every morning for coffee and baby feeding and girl talk!




Good point!!

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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/7/2008 12:16:57 AM   
IAMJulie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59
Breastfeeding became so stressful for me with my ds (mastitis, blanched nipples, ds wouldn't feed from one breast and there wasn't enough in the other) that I used to literally shake when he woke for a feed, and would cry as I was feeding him - especially from the severe pain as he first "clamped" on.

Even half and half became too much, and I did indeed become a better mother when I switched over totally to bottlefeeding.


This is just about the road I traveled with DD. There is no bonding to be found between mama and baby during nursing when mama and baby both end up in frustrated tears by the end. Hard to look into your babies eyes when you can't see because you're crying. I used to cringe and start to cry the moment DD made it known that she was hungry, too, it's awful. It's funny how I found DD so much more lovable after I started to bottle feed exclusively.

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Julie, wife to Rob, mom to son Gabriel (2/04), daughter Zion (10/06), and son Gideon born 4/28/08, dog Towzer, cats Spot, Benny and Maisy, and many, many fish. Check out my blog at www.wellblessed.blogspot.com :)
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/9/2008 8:35:32 PM   
firefightermama


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Does anyone know the difference between the formula and 2nd step (after 6 months) formula?
It says it has added calcium, but other than that, is there any other difference?

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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/9/2008 10:29:30 PM   
IAMJulie


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Yeah, the price!

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Julie, wife to Rob, mom to son Gabriel (2/04), daughter Zion (10/06), and son Gideon born 4/28/08, dog Towzer, cats Spot, Benny and Maisy, and many, many fish. Check out my blog at www.wellblessed.blogspot.com :)
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/10/2008 12:26:02 AM   
Mrs.X


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I'm pretty sure it's just a marketing gimmick, Yolanda.

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Post #: 270
RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/10/2008 3:34:53 AM   
manda59


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It's a while since mine were using it, but way back then there wasn't really much difference in actual product.

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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/10/2008 9:38:12 AM   
firefightermama


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It's exactly the same price...

There's one ingredient different, but I threw out my old can, so I don't remember what it's called.

_____________________________

~yolanda~

<-- Me and my baby boy :)



"I wish I was a glow worm, cuz glow worms are never glum.
How can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum?"
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/10/2008 11:52:29 AM   
Karaboo2


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The iron content should be slightly lower in the second step formula, as they are assuming that the kids are getting iron in the table food which would be introduced around that point.

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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/10/2008 12:32:20 PM   
IAMJulie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: firefightermama

It's exactly the same price...

There's one ingredient different, but I threw out my old can, so I don't remember what it's called.


Here the stage 2 stuff is about $4 more per can.

_____________________________

Julie, wife to Rob, mom to son Gabriel (2/04), daughter Zion (10/06), and son Gideon born 4/28/08, dog Towzer, cats Spot, Benny and Maisy, and many, many fish. Check out my blog at www.wellblessed.blogspot.com :)
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/10/2008 2:34:57 PM   
Karaboo2


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Oh ... here the stage 2 is within a few cents of the regular stuff ...

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