Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (Full Version)

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Skye_Kiss -> Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (10/23/2007 4:10:00 PM)

Hello All,

I'm looking to hear from moms of kids "on the spectrum" (having PDD, autism, or Asperger's) who still choose to homeschool, and to learn what worked what didn't, what you would do differently.

I realize that special education support is still available in my state even to homeschooling families (by Indiana state law - I do not know how that works in other states), but perhaps the in-classroom setting might be better?

I would have sent my kids to a private Christian school, but the local schools do not have special education departments. Not a fan of the public school system's underlying philosophy that undermines parental authority. Any ideas? Advice?


Thanks!


Sydney



shadowspring -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (10/24/2007 1:02:32 PM)

I would say much depends on your son and where he is on the spectrum. I have a friend in Canada with an autistic son who LOVES the public school system for him! He is a wonderful kid, kind, friendly, very popular in their small town, but he will always live at home or with a family member. He will never be able to live unsupervised. He is not Aspbergers's but full-blown autistic.

My own dd MAY be Aspberger's, but since we have always home schooled, she has never been diagnosed. If she is indeed Aspberger's, home schooling has been very good for her.

Dd is highly intelligent, which helps. When I began to suspect her social difficulties might have a name, she joined me in researching Aspberger's on the internet. She really enjoyed the book Pretending to be Normal by Liane Holliday Willey.

If she is Aspie (which we have come to believe), then home schooling was the best for her. She was happy to be at home learning all the elementary years. In middle school, she began to move out socially in home school Girl Scouts and youth group. She was accepted happily at first. Then those middle school gossip fests interrupted her happy life. This hurt her deeply, but she had a safe haven at home from which to lick her wounds. I remember telling her that she was blessed she only had to see these girls once a week for scouts, instead of every day in a classroom!

She could no longer deny she was "different". It could be argued that this social failure hurt her more deeply, perhaps, than others, because it was her first venture into such a world. But I believe the opposite is true. I think this incident hurt much less than enduring many repeated social failures that would have likely been her lot in a classroom setting.

After the middle school yuck, she found new friends at a new youth group who were very good for her. She joined mime, which improved her balance, physical coordination and social skills. After our internet research, she studied books on body language, was more observant in social situations, and basically is using her intellect to make up for what she lacks intuitively in social skills. She goes to the gym regularly, and we hired a personal trainer to help her with balance and coordination for a few weeks.

She is a happy, well-adjusted teen. She still has few friends, but she has many accquaintenances to go with those few close friends. She starts her first job (other than babysitting) this weekend. She is planning on going to college in 2009.

So my opinion is that whether or not home school or public school is best really depends on the severity of the autistic characteristics.

Home schooling someone with Aspberger's, or nerd syndrome, could allow them to zoom ahead where they do best (academic learning) while sheltering them from repeated exposure to social ridicule during their younger years. It will give them a chance to proceed more slowly in the social sphere, at their own pace and with lots of parental assistance.

However my gf in Canada also made the right choice. It was exhausting for her to care for her son 24/7. His going to public school was a good decision for both of them. Her son was not mainstreamed, so he did not have to face ridicule from the "normals".

On the other hand, a less severe case might have felt ridiculed in public school either way. If he was separated with the more severe cases, he might feel he did not belong with "normals". If he was placed with "normals" and rejected by them socially, that could also be bad.

Which is why my opinion is that Aspberger's would do better at home, but more severe Autism requires professional support from outside the home. It is just my opinion, though. I am not a psychologist/neurologist/psychiatrist/special ed teacher/any other kind of professional expert.



MrsDC -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (10/27/2007 7:48:04 PM)

Shadow --

I just wanted to say that that was a beautiful post, and I really appreciated it. It sounds corny to me to say it, but "Thanks!"

-- Rebecca



Love2Smile -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (10/30/2007 2:08:15 AM)

Hi Sydney, first I would like to suggest contacting HSLDA (HomeSchool Legal Defense Association). They have a wonderful Special-Needs coordinator named Betty.

Another great resource is by Sharon Hensley. (Betty strongly recommended her resources) Sharon holds a Master's degree in Sp.Ed. and serves as Founder and Director of Almaden Vally Christian School, a support group of over 25 families serving children with special needs. She homeschools her children one of which has autism.
She has a book called Home Schooling Children with Special Needs and there is a DVD. I highly recommend this for any family with sp.needs children who want to hs. You can get these through AVCS Books.

Now as for us, it has been very interesting. What might work one day may not work the next. Or it may work about a week then we need to change up a little. And some days no school gets done at all because of some medical or behavior issue. Unit Studies can be great for sp. needs. But going to the library often was not feasible for us. Currently we are using a video program since he is such a visual learner. Also, a hands-on learner so the videos on science and all the experiments that we can do right along is a hit. I use the program in a way that works for us. He is very high functioning. I would say Asperger's like behavior. But because of his primary diagnosis and the amount of seizure events he has had over the years, it just isn't a clear cut case. Even according to the doctors. Then again when is sp. needs ever a clear cut case?

Now DD does have autism with the language delays but likes to be around others. She has more classic symptoms, hand flapping, etc.

DS is almost like normal except for social abilities, ocb's, slight paranoias, behaviors. I've had to learn how to let go of so many expectations. DS is so bright, but all the knowledge isn't going to matter if he cannot function even around one other peer. I've had to learn not to fret, they will both "learn it when they learn it".

Since DS needed constant one-on-one supervision just to even get a few words on paper for writing practice, we found it better, for our situation, to have DD in a classroom. He is doing better now. This has worked great for us. And amazingly she has always been surrounded by people who share my values and beliefs. But next year it will be time to bring her home. We are not comfortable with her going into the middle school setting, especially these middle schools. Also, this year I asked a sp.ed. teacher friend to consult with me over making an IEP (Individual Education Program) for our son. Something easy for doctors and specialist to review in jargon they can understand. I know what I'm teaching my son, but it will help them see the big picture.
Ok! This was my second post on forums and I hope I did it right. [:)]
And I hope this was some help, Sydney. Blessings!



TimnotTimmy -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/1/2007 12:00:40 PM)

Our son, now 9 years old, has AS. We homeschooled him for his 1st year, and then to public school to get his IEP. This is his 2nd year in a charter school for Autism/Aspergers. For us, he needs to be around other students. We pulled him out of our church cause he can't handle Sunday school with only 1 adult in the class. If God gives you the peace, by all means do what God leads you to do.



Love2Smile -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/1/2007 9:11:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: droopy5

We pulled him out of our church cause he can't handle Sunday school with only 1 adult in the class.


My church just started a special-needs sunday school. Another church in my community has had a program for special needs for a long time. I don't know if this was something u already looked into or not, just wanted to comment on the possibilities. [:)]

I was curious, if your willing to share, if your son ever experiences meltdowns? We had thought our son may have AS as a secondary diagnosis, but the specialist said AS patients do not have meltdowns. Later we found this curious because the resources she recommended for us to read did site such behaviors. A little confused at this point.



cynthia -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/1/2007 9:34:10 PM)

I know of two families that home school AS children. One has a granddaughter in her custody. She took the girl out of school to home school where she could provide more positive social experiences for her and cater to her unique needs better.



terrified_turkey -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/3/2007 1:05:46 PM)

My son was suspected of having autism and tested at the age of four. He didn't fit all the parameters but he is certainly very autistic like with diagnosed developmental delays. He's in kindergarten now at home and doing better than we ever expected. He is thriving I don't believe that wouldn't happen in a typical school setting.



misaham -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/4/2007 7:38:53 AM)

Shadowspring, I want to say thanks also for your beautiful post. I am in tears... this describes my 10-year old son to a "T". We are pulling him out of public school at the Christmas break and will homeschool him for the rest of the year. We are in the testing process right now. The public school has done some of their testing (which they will probably abruptly stop once I tell them we will be homeschooling). Academically he is "off the charts"... in the "very superior" range. We go to Children's Hospital in Cincinnati on Nov. 27th for the testing there. He has done well so far in public school, but is definitely experiencing the issues that you describe.
I appreciate your encouragement and ability to capture my own struggles with such eloquent words!



lastblast -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/4/2007 7:11:46 PM)

Hello Skye,

My daughter, 13, is high-functioning autistic. I homeschooled her full-time when she entered into middle school. As some have stated the middle school social issues/acceptance was a major factor. Her elementary school counsellor seemed very glad to hear that I would homeschool her.

When we started, I used Abeka solely. I then realized the math was far too accelerated for her. The next year we tried doing all Alpha Omega and I absolutely hated it (kids did too). In the middle of the year we went back to Abeka Social Studies and Science (which my daughter does wonderfully with). We have since continue with Abeka SS and Science for this year as well. Also, because my daugher is so visual, I checked into Compass Math/Language Arts online and she is now doing that (many public schools also use this program). Since those are her weak areas, we can go over and over an area of study until she gets it down. The nice thing is that she can work independently and then I can check her scores online and also check how many minutes she is taking on each activity. They keep track of all scores and what the kids work on daily. For the younger grades they have all the core subjects. In the middle school, language arts/math are about it. Here's the site for any who are interested: http://www.time4learning.com/

Also, to consider, I live in Michigan and the laws say that homeschool kids can be enrolled in non-essential classes (electives) and extra-curricular activities. I did not know this until we were doing a visitation of the middle school here (for my son who is not homeschooled). His counsellor told me that some homeschoolers takes electives at the school. My daughter is now in her second year of strings class (violin). In addition, she took a drama class last year. This year she is taking choir and later, an art class, in addition to her violin class. She is very social, so these classes fill that need for her, yet it is in a very controlled environment. I personally do not want her in a school all day, handling all the rejection I know will come her way. She already experiences that in the couple of classes she takes daily. Thankfully, she has a social worker who conducts a group 2x month with a few other special needs kids. They talk, play games, and work on social issues, etc. It has really been a blessing to my daughter. The social worker even went into my daughter's classes when she wasn't there and talked to the kids about autism.

Oh, one other thing: I saw this website for teaching learning disabled students on HSLD: www.linguisystems.com.

I ordered the catalogue and found many great resources for purchase. The materials are costly, but they look wonderful. I am planning on buying several for my daughter next year. She really needs help with her writing and reading comprehension. The best to you in deciding schooling options for your son[:)]



RJR_fan -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/4/2007 7:17:09 PM)

quote:

After our internet research, she studied books on body language, was more observant in social situations, and basically is using her intellect to make up for what she lacks intuitively in social skills.


Born on a Blue Day describes autism from the inside. In the last chapter, the author tells of how he came to Christ through the witness of another autistic-spectrum guy, G. K. Chesterton. (Chesterton could dictate one brilliant essay while writing another at the same time -- but often got lost trying to walk home from the office, and had to phone his wife for directions!)

If you are an empathy-impaired Christian, you treat folks with love and respect because they are made in the image of God, not because you particularly feel loving and respectful towards them.



shadowspring -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/5/2007 3:58:52 PM)

quote:

If you are an empathy-impaired Christian, you treat folks with love and respect because they are made in the image of God, not because you particularly feel loving and respectful towards them.


I love that line! I will be using it in devotions tonight!

And thanks to all for the kind words. I appreciate them very much. [sm=icon_smile_blush.gif]



misaham -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/6/2007 1:05:57 PM)

Skye- I also live in Indiana, and have just begun a discussion with the public school about our homeschool decision. We are in the testing process for our son, both at the school level and through Cincinnati Children's hospital. You mentioned that in Indiana there are resources available to homeschoolers. Do you have any details on this? Or know where I can find out more? The school district is putting pressure on me to keep our son in school, as they have the resources to help him. It has been a stressful day, I could use some encouragement. Thanks!



RJR_fan -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/7/2007 6:45:28 PM)

Bullies serve the same function in public schools that rapists serve in prison -- making sure that the inmates are properly cowed. Especially the inmates who might be a little bit odd, diverging from the norm. Perhaps brighter than their peers, while less socially adept.

The cruelty of children can make school years pure Gehenna for those with behavioral quirks, for example. The selected victims of the informally deputized "enforcers" of "the norms."

Ask your child about bullies. Take his observations to heart. Do what's best for your child, not for the penal system.

(just speaking from my own experience, here...)



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/7/2007 7:15:22 PM)

quote:

If you are an empathy-impaired Christian, you treat folks with love and respect because they are made in the image of God, not because you particularly feel loving and respectful towards them.

just thought you would want to know, that quote was the admin's pick for best quote of the week and was put in the Room and Board that came out today!!!



misaham -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/9/2007 9:35:50 PM)

RJR_fan - thanks for the encouragement. The school has basically decided that my son will probably not qualify for any assistance as aspergers. We have yet to complete the testing by the hospital, but I feel this is a confirmation of our homeschooling decision. They will probably offer no services to us, just a meeting with his "regular" teachers to see what can be done to help his disorganization. They said that it is not affecting his learning - he is learning, just isn't using it! I do not look forward to fighting the public school on pulling him out!



Knolt -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/10/2007 2:13:51 PM)

I don't know too much about homeschooling but here's my two cents on this coming from an adult man who grew up with a LD (ADD, and AS). I don't know what type of case your son with Autism has. I do believe that homeschooling would be safer for your kid in the short run. However, my only beef with homeschooling is this, it seems to me like it's overprotective. I do appreciate your concern about your son's educational needs. I certainly think it's important to be an advocate for him as well. However, again, speaking from my own experience as an adult with ADD and AS, the last thing you want to do is to be overprotective and hyperconcerned. To put it bluntly, that would emasculate him and cripple him for life. Now, regardless of what educational decision you decide upon, I would definitely recomend enrolling him the scouts and in summercamp too. I would also recomend enrolling him in martial arts as well. Not only would he become more physically fit, it could definitely bully-proof him as well. I think those things could instill within him the confidence to go somewhere in life in spite of his condition. I can't overemphasize that last point.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/10/2007 2:23:28 PM)

quote:

However, my only beef with homeschooling is this, it seems to me like it's overproctive.
quote:

the last thing you want to do is to be overprotective and hyperconcerned. To put it bluntly, that would emasculate him and cripple him for life.

knolt...this folder is the homeschooling SUPPORT folder...so please watch what you say as you are not supporting us in that statement. The parenting folder is where you can discuss what you don't like about hsing...not in here



Knolt -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/10/2007 2:34:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2

quote:

However, my only beef with homeschooling is this, it seems to me like it's overproctive.
quote:

the last thing you want to do is to be overprotective and hyperconcerned. To put it bluntly, that would emasculate him and cripple him for life.

knolt...this folder is the homeschooling SUPPORT folder...so please watch what you say as you are not supporting us in that statement. The parenting folder is where you can discuss what you don't like about hsing...not in here

I'm not entirely against homeschooling. I've heard some good things about it. I don't think that it's NECESSARILY overprotective. Perhaps homeschooling could be the best thing for him. I don't know. I'm sorry if I came across as putting down homeschooling. The point I meant to make was against being overprotective and hyperconcerned. That's all.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/10/2007 2:47:52 PM)

quote:

The point I meant to make was against being overprotective and hyperconcerned.

it's fine to be against those, however tying them strictly to hsing (which is how I read it) is wrong...in this folder...because it is strictly for support for those of us that do homeschool.



cynthia -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/10/2007 4:12:37 PM)

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Within that context, we offer advice and suggestions on how to use home schooling to help children. If you have a particular concern, it must be phrased in the context of how to use home schooling to the best advantage, not to warn parents against perceived dangers of home education.

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RJR_fan -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/14/2007 9:26:32 PM)

quote:

The school has basically decided that my son will probably not qualify for any assistance as aspergers. We have yet to complete the testing by the hospital, but I feel this is a confirmation of our homeschooling decision. They will probably offer no services to us, just a meeting with his "regular" teachers to see what can be done to help his disorganization.


Download this wise and compassionate booklet published by the University of Melbourne, Towards Success in Tertiary Study with asperger's syndrome and other autism spectrum disorders. (Click here) It's helped me considerably with my graduate study (I'm pursuing an online graduate degree in Communication Research). Yes, this booklet contains a number of common-sense strategies for dealing with distractability and disorganization, while affirming the responsibility of the student for managing his life, despite his disabilities.

The sacrifices you are about to make will pay off for centuries to come in this life, and for eternity in the life to come. Your son will bless you for getting him out of a hellish situation, helping him to maximize his strengths, and to find effective and affirming strategies for coping with his weak points.



shadowspring -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/15/2007 7:42:13 PM)

Wow! Thank you so much for the link, RJR_fan! I will have my daughter explore this paper.



misaham -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/15/2007 9:33:08 PM)

Yes, thanks! I need all of the support that I can get, and will read anything that someone recommends to help my son succeed. He is a smart, funny, creative kid who is getting beaten up verbally every day at school and is not the same kid that he was in August when school started. I know that this will be a tough road, but with support like this, and the help of the Lord, I know that I can do it!
Blessings to you!



cynthia -> RE: Considering homeschooling my autistic-spectrum son (11/15/2007 10:31:15 PM)

Very good. You are right. Home schooling is hard, but I don't think it's as hard as it would be having my kid in public school. My best friend has three kids in public school in her area. (she lives in another state) She agrees that I've got the better end of the deal.



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