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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 2:15:51 PM
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tsiyi
Posts: 45
Joined: 11/8/2007
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quote:
The question of the OP is "What do YOU truly want"? It is not come in and cut others down for stating their desires. The point of this singles forum is to help each other as singles in our Walk with the Lord.
Yes I know the question. Sad that it's not recognized that the question is the problem. Even the word YOU is emphasized.
If people want to rise out of their single condition, if might require some different lines of thinking. Heaven forbid if that happened. I think another thread should be started entitled "What Do I Truly Want to Give". I hear echos already.
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 2:38:14 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tsiyi
quote:
The question of the OP is "What do YOU truly want"? It is not come in and cut others down for stating their desires. The point of this singles forum is to help each other as singles in our Walk with the Lord.
Yes I know the question. Sad that it's not recognized that the question is the problem. Even the word YOU is emphasized.
So you'd rather we answer what we think someone else wants? Why not just ask them what they want. Oh I guess that's what this thread is for. Finding out what others want. and part of that is recognizing that we are the others to the others.
quote:
If people want to rise out of their single condition, if might require some different lines of thinking. Heaven forbid if that happened. I think another thread should be started entitled "What Do I Truly Want to Give". I hear echos already.
You need to read the thread again. Almost every answer describes what people want to give.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 2:38:22 PM
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tsiyi
Posts: 45
Joined: 11/8/2007
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quote:
No. he's looking for what he wants. Do you think it would be better if he settled for someone he didn't want and then spent the rest of his life resenting her for not being what he wanted?
Good relationships blossom. There isn't a human on the planet that knows EXACTLY anything. If you are looking for EXACT in a human, you aren't going to find it here. Hey, good luck though!!
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There isn't even a team yet.
I didn't start this thread. There isn't a relationship going yet either. Are we speaking hypothetically or do you have something specific you'd rather discuss?
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No similarity at all. When choosing sides you pick who will be on your team.
If a relationship means "I" need this, and "I" need that to you - - it is very relevant.
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Sure we can. And all the while still admitting that we need/desire a spouse. The two are not exclusive.
I agree. But that wasn't the point. Point is, a persons relationship with God is often just like their human relationships - - they've got a long list of expectations and they know exactly what they want from God.
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 2:48:02 PM
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tsiyi
Posts: 45
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quote:
So you'd rather we answer what we think someone else wants?
I asking what you want to give in a relationship. What do you want to sacrifice. It's a simple question. You're not the guy that wants to sits on the couch expecting a future wife to bring you the remote control? Rolling over once in a while for a back rub?
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 2:55:16 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tsiyi
quote:
No. he's looking for what he wants. Do you think it would be better if he settled for someone he didn't want and then spent the rest of his life resenting her for not being what he wanted?
Good relationships blossom. There isn't a human on the planet that knows EXACTLY anything. If you are looking for EXACT in a human, you aren't going to find it here. Hey, good luck though!!
He knows what he wants, Why is that a problem for you?
And it all depends on how you define exactly. I know exactly that I want a woman as my wife. And I do know exactly that.
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There isn't even a team yet.
I didn't start this thread. There isn't a relationship going yet either. Are we speaking hypothetically or do you have something specific you'd rather discuss?
You seemingly missed the point. You are talking about teamwork but the team has not even formed yet. We are still choosing up sides.
What do you want from/in your spouse. Until you can honestly answer that to yourself you are not ready to even select a partner.
A man or woman who does not know what they are looking for will never find it. Eanyone they may find will always be not quite right and should they marry such a person they will both more than likely wind up miserable. One because they are never appreciated for who they are and the other because their spouse is not what they wanted.
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Sure we can. And all the while still admitting that we need/desire a spouse. The two are not exclusive.
I agree. But that wasn't the point. Point is, a persons relationship with God is often just like their human relationships - - they've got a long list of expectations and they know exactly what they want from God.
And since God tells us to bring our wants and desires to Him I don't see what the problem is.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 2:58:30 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tsiyi
quote:
So you'd rather we answer what we think someone else wants?
I asking what you want to give in a relationship. What do you want to sacrifice. It's a simple question. You're not the guy that wants to sits on the couch expecting a future wife to bring you the remote control? Rolling over once in a while for a back rub?
Read my post 24 and 25 again. Pay attention to this paragraph from 25 and bounce 24 against it.
quote:
If I want to marry someone who is fit, I had better be fit. If I want to marry someone who is a non-drinker, then I had best not hang out in the bar all night every night. If I want to marry someone who has a strong walk with God,I had better be working on my walk. Opposites may attact but similars make the best marriages.
As I said before. Almost all the replies to this thread ALREADY state what people want to give. We want to give the same things we want.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 3:22:53 PM
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joy2give2u
Posts: 5124
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Indiana
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quote:
Point is, a persons relationship with God is often just like their human relationships - - they've got a long list of expectations and they know exactly what they want from God.....................I asking what you want to give in a relationship. What do you want to sacrifice. I quoted these two post together because I feel together they make an important point.
A Christian who is focus on themselves and what they can receive out of their relationship with the Lord often has a long list of expectations and wants they present to the Lord expecting him to fulfill. The more intimate someone becomes with the Lord doesn't make the list of expectations or desire any shorter. What the intimacy does is align those expectations and desires with Gods.
The same is true for sacrifices. I hear many baby Christians say Lord I will give up this for you or I am willing to sacrifice this for you Lord. The problem is a sacrifice is not just giving up something you want or desire but it is giving up something for the sake of someone or something else.......As we grow in intimacy and relationship with the Lord he reveals what he wants us to lay down at His feet. He determines what the sacrifice is and then through the relationship our sacrifice is aligned with what he ask us to give.
Abraham was willing to sacrifice his promised son because he knew God's heart and had faith God loved him so much he would have only asked through this love.
I can't tell you what I will sacrifice for my husband because I don't know what he will ask me to give up. I could give up lots of things now thinking it might make him happy or be pleasing to him and it may but it is only a sacrifice if I give it up because he asked me to give it up for the sake of our relationship or him.
Make sense?
< Message edited by joy2give2u -- 12/4/2007 3:29:05 PM >
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 3:40:42 PM
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tsiyi
Posts: 45
Joined: 11/8/2007
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quote:
You seemingly missed the point. You are talking about teamwork but the team has not even formed yet. We are still choosing up sides.
What do you want from/in your spouse. Until you can honestly answer that to yourself you are not ready to even select a partner.
The OP asked: I am not talking about what kind of person you want but rather what you want in a relationship.
I think you're missing the point. We're assuming there is a relationship. Hence, team.
quote:
And it all depends on how you define exactly. I know exactly that I want a woman as my wife. And I do know exactly that.
Even though we're assuming there is a relationship of some sort already, there are a couple billion to choose from. This sounds a lot like the child that knows what he/she wants, until they get it. As a parent knows best, maybe God knows best and has his own plans. You may know or think you know what YOU want, but that doesn't mean it's true in reality.
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 3:45:21 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 6021
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tsiyi,
Did you come in here to argue with people or to answer the OP?
_____________________________
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 3:50:19 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8009
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tsiyi
quote:
You seemingly missed the point. You are talking about teamwork but the team has not even formed yet. We are still choosing up sides.
What do you want from/in your spouse. Until you can honestly answer that to yourself you are not ready to even select a partner.
The OP asked: I am not talking about what kind of person you want but rather what you want in a relationship.
I think you're missing the point. We're assuming there is a relationship. Hence, team.
No. We are asking what you would want in a future relationship. "If I were to have a perfect relationship, what would I want it to look like". The first thing I'd need is someone to be in a relationship with. So that's where I started. Choosing sides.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 3:51:42 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SamTrustsGod
tsiyi,
Did you come in here to argue with people or to answer the OP?
I don't know about tsiyi but I came to argue (as always)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 3:57:04 PM
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tsiyi
Posts: 45
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
Make sense?
Yes, but I think you've got the "baby Christian" view reversed. I think mature Christians approach situations and relationships with the mindset of "How can I give"? The relationship with God that I speak of is not one of - - God, I'll give up the cigarettes if you give me something in return. The relationship I speak of is one of giving, servitude and trust. There is no "me" in union.
quote:
As we grow in intimacy and relationship with the Lord he reveals what he wants us to lay down at His feet.
I agree with this, but hasn't God already revealed what he wants us to lay down? I think so.
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 4:01:02 PM
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tsiyi
Posts: 45
Joined: 11/8/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SamTrustsGod
tsiyi,
Did you come in here to argue with people or to answer the OP?
Actually, I agreed with your first post. I just think there is a way out of the conditions of being fearful, vunerable, afraid of trust, etc. There is a way to live without those things.
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 4:05:10 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12573
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
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quote:
I just think there is a way out of the conditions of being fearful, vunerable, afraid of trust, etc. There is a way to live without those things.
But, is that what the OP is talking about?
If you want to discuss the other issues - start a new thread.
Keep this one ON TOPIC.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 4:23:02 PM
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joy2give2u
Posts: 5124
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Indiana
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quote:
Yes, but I think you've got the "baby Christian" view reversed. I think mature Christians approach situations and relationships with the mindset of "How can I give"? The relationship with God that I speak of is not one of - - God, I'll give up the cigarettes if you give me something in return. The relationship I speak of is one of giving, servitude and trust. There is no "me" in union. You stated that our relationship with others, such as a marriage, is just like our relationship with God. Then asked, " What do you want to sacrifice" My point is God does not want us to give up what WE want to sacrifice. He wants us to sacrifice what he ask us to give up. Sometimes a baby Christian gets confused and thinks following God means giving up everything they want to give up for the Lord, without waiting to see what he is asking them to give up.
Anything I were to sacrifice now, for my future husband, would be based on ME and what I want to sacrifice and not on him. A sacrifice for him can only be given after I know him.
Maybe a better way to explain is by using the story of the man who sold his watch to buy a hair comb for the one he loved, while she cut her hair to buy him a chain for his watch. Both sacrifices were based on knowing and loving the other person more then themselves but until they fell in love neither knew what they would sacrifice for the other.
Until you meet your future husband and start developing an intimate relationship with him you will not know what you will be willing to sacrifice based on your love for him.
quote:
I agree with this, but hasn't God already revealed what he wants us to lay down? I think so. He wants us to lay down our lives for Him BUT that will look different for each person.........just as when I marry I will lay down my life for my husband and that will look different depending on who God has ask for my hand.
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 4:35:00 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8009
Joined: 9/5/2006
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excellent post 42 Joy!
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 4:50:59 PM
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tsiyi
Posts: 45
Joined: 11/8/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl
quote:
I just think there is a way out of the conditions of being fearful, vunerable, afraid of trust, etc. There is a way to live without those things.
But, is that what the OP is talking about?
If you want to discuss the other issues - start a new thread.
Keep this one ON TOPIC.
What I truly want in a relationship is to give love unconditionally. To feel the presence of that love. A union requires 2 becoming 1, so I would want to set aside any individual desires for the whole. Not because an individual desire was good or bad, but because they become irrelevant. I would want them to be irrelevant. I am no longer "I". I would not want to be "I". I would want it to be similar to joining the body of Christ. If I was still wanting things of an individual nature inside of such a relationship, something would have gone wrong. I would not want to want.
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 4:59:02 PM
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tsiyi
Posts: 45
Joined: 11/8/2007
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quote:
Sometimes a baby Christian gets confused and thinks following God means giving up everything they want to give up for the Lord, without waiting to see what he is asking them to give up.
Sometimes baby Christians get confused and don't give up things the Lord is asking them to give up. They wait for decades to see if it is really what HE is asking them to give up. Baby Christians create reasons why the LORD wants them to keep cable television, instead of giving that money to those in need.
I answered the OP. I'm finished with this thread.
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 5:04:09 PM
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joy2give2u
Posts: 5124
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline
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quote:
What I truly want in a relationship is to give love unconditionally. To feel the presence of that love. A union requires 2 becoming 1, so I would want to set aside any individual desires for the whole. Not because an individual desire was good or bad, but because they become irrelevant. I would want them to be irrelevant. I am no longer "I". I would not want to be "I". I would want it to be similar to joining the body of Christ. If I was still wanting things of an individual nature inside of such a relationship, something would have gone wrong. I would not want to want I understand what you are saying tsiyi.
A wise friend once told me being more and more one with the Lord doesn't mean becoming less of who he created me to be...it means becoming more of who he has shaped me to be.........Each of us is unique and created to be who we are when combines and mixed with who He is.
I truly want my marriage to be the same way. My husband will fall in love with me because of who I am apart from him........not yet one with him.......once we marry and are one he will still love and cherish the parts of me which existed before we became one.....those parts will still be there.....they will just grow as his nourishing love draws them out of me more and more.
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/4/2007 10:00:51 PM
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gracefulgirl
Posts: 91
Joined: 10/22/2007
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Ok, so what kind of relationship do I really want and in what areas do I still need the growth?
Part A:
Someone who loves Christ way more than they love me
Someone who challenges me to go further in my walk with God to the point where I am impressed by their walk and strive to be at the same level
Someone who makes me laugh especially at myself and helps me not to take myself too seriously
Someone who will be in my corner and back me up if I tell him this is what God said even if the whole world is against it (I would also do the same)
Someone who wants to have a houseful of children even if they aren't necessarily our own
Someone willing to travel to the mission field
Someone with a similar calling, or called in an area where we would both be of help and benefit to one another
Someone who doesn't mind if I experiment a little when I cook ( I do this a lot and if it gets on their nerves, I would never want to cook!)
Someone who is responsible and wise with the finances who sees it as his job to be the provider for the family (now before you go crazy on me, this is what I mean: I will work if it's necessary for us to survive, but I don't want someone who has no work ethic and wants to sit at home all day while I work or who wants to call off once a week to go golfing with his buddies)
I need to work on : responsibility with finances (getting better), fear (have been working on this, really praying and other things, etc... it's so much better than what it used to be, but still needs work), handling confrontation and voicing my opinions when asked
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