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RE: What do YOU truly want

 
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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/5/2007 11:46:08 AM   
Brenda-lee


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Trishy this is a wonderful idea for a thread! Takes the focus off of 'our' wants/ needs to shift of focus on faithfully walking where God would desire to take you in santification, and refinement to be the man/ or woman that He created you to be...

Our focus can be so skewed sometimes, but, if I am honest with myself (and maybe you feel this way too) my focus is haywire a majority of the time. I can tell you with 100% honesty those things that I had desired within my heart where not necessarily that which God knew I needed... more than likely it more boiled down to, not really being prepared to receieve my hearts desire. kwim?

I can tell you also, that I have not a clue what I want or need (guess it will come as a surprise/ like someone who doesnt want to know the gender of a child before it is born) , for that matter, other than God's continual direction at this time.. I have done many dances through the mine fields of life, and really, I just assume to have it His way for once...

Strange how long it took me to get to this place of peace...

< Message edited by Brenda-lee -- 12/5/2007 12:08:27 PM >


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Post #: 51
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/5/2007 2:05:45 PM   
Mrs.Above_All


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Agreed Brandalee! It's funny how my Johnny Boy is different to what I expected, yet we are so good for each other. We both are not perfect but there is definitely a purpose for us being together. I will have to say that if I met him in person at first instead of here, online, I may have not thought about dating him. lol It just worked for us for meet this way I suppose because neither of us had expectations. We both just let things happen naturally, no matter what the end results would be. It turned out that we wanted and needed each other...all in ways that G-d showed us.

Gosh girl. Is that how you feel right now in your avatar?

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Post #: 52
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/5/2007 6:58:17 PM   
PreserveWildlife

 

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You know, the more I think about this the more I think I may know one thing I truly want. A woman who truly wants to be with me. That may seem self evident in a relationship (where she has already evidenced a desire to be with me) but this is something more. A woman who is interested in me, wants to learn who I am, wants to be with me. This is one thing I truly want.
Post #: 53
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/5/2007 8:48:27 PM   
Grace-N-Mercy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: D200

You know, the more I think about this the more I think I may know one thing I truly want. A woman who truly wants to be with me. That may seem self evident in a relationship (where she has already evidenced a desire to be with me) but this is something more. A woman who is interested in me, wants to learn who I am, wants to be with me. This is one thing I truly want.


I think we can all say we want this. One of our deepest desires is to be known, truly known, by another person.
Post #: 54
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/5/2007 9:10:41 PM   
CoeurdeLeon_


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quote:

to be known, truly known, by another person.

Yeah, and have 'em still like us. Don't forget that part!

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10.13.08
Post #: 55
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/5/2007 9:12:09 PM   
mutinywxgirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

quote:

to be known, truly known, by another person.

Yeah, and have 'em still like us. Don't forget that part!

Ya just had to add that part in there, didn't ya? LOLOL

_____________________________

When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.


Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
Post #: 56
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/5/2007 9:14:47 PM   
CoeurdeLeon_


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

quote:

to be known, truly known, by another person.

Yeah, and have 'em still like us. Don't forget that part!

Ya just had to add that part in there, didn't ya? LOLOL

Well? I am the Mistress of Stating the Obvious.

But, seriously, I think a lot of us go around feeling like we're imposters and that if *whomever* really, really, REALLY knew us, well, it wouldn't turn out so good.

Or am I the only one?

_____________________________

This morning I was awakened by the sound of purple
colliding with the fragrance of laughter.
Eutychus







10.13.08
Post #: 57
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/5/2007 9:17:15 PM   
mutinywxgirl


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I HIGHLY doubt it! That might make an interesting thread???

Or, maybe not - I'm about to fall asleep, so am not thinking all too clearly at the moment. If it doesn't make sense, just ignore me .

_____________________________

When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.


Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
Post #: 58
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/5/2007 9:25:02 PM   
Focusing


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quote:

Well? I am the Mistress of Stating the Obvious.

But, seriously, I think a lot of us go around feeling like we're imposters and that if *whomever* really, really, REALLY knew us, well, it wouldn't turn out so good.

Or am I the only one?


Nope, you're not the only one. I thought I was.....


btw .... I'm the Queen of Understatement. Nice to meet ya, Mistress of Stating the Obvious.

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Post #: 59
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/5/2007 9:33:59 PM   
CoeurdeLeon_


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SassySammers

btw .... I'm the Queen of Understatement. Nice to meet ya, Mistress of Stating the Obvious.

The pleasure is mine, Your Majesty.

_____________________________

This morning I was awakened by the sound of purple
colliding with the fragrance of laughter.
Eutychus







10.13.08
Post #: 60
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/5/2007 9:56:25 PM   
Angel007

 

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I want someone who will accept me for who I am. I have liked so many indivudials but they all see me as being too nice of an indivudial. It really bothers me when that happens but I thank God for what the future holds. In a relationship I want someone who I know that I can confide in, we can be trustworthy, honest, and loyal to each other. I know that God has the perfect person in store for me. I am truly thankful for that and I want someone that I know will be an incredible mother to our kids...
Post #: 61
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/6/2007 3:07:09 AM   
Mrs.Above_All


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Both my guy and I have talked with each other about how people in the past have rejected us and why. Actually for me, I have been less rejected and just not asked out. Most of the rejection was because of surface reasons. So yeah, finding someone who will love and accept you is true. But I rather would say, "I would like to find someone that would give me a chance and get to know me." I think many people often reject others prematurely. We can't always tell if someone will be a good person to be in a relationship with unless we spend a reasonable amount of time getting to know them. And to me personally, beauty is not a reliable first indicator. A wonderful person whom you can also relate with will naturally become beautiful to you.

You can take it another level when it comes to acceptance since this is all about what we want relationally. Someone who accepts you can be phrased, "I want and need someone who is slow to anger and quick to forgive when I make mistakes." That action in itself shows their acceptance of you.

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Post #: 62
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/6/2007 8:09:48 PM   
NiceGuy


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***Incoming Message from the Big Giant Head ***

quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

But, seriously, I think a lot of us go around feeling like we're imposters and that if *whomever* really, really, REALLY knew us, well, it wouldn't turn out so good.

Or am I the only one?

You're not the only one who feels this way - I know I do. A few years ago I was talking with a friend who shared a poignant quote from a book she had read and it hit me between the eyes when I heard it. I'll try not to mangle it too much:

"I'm afraid to tell you who I am, because if I tell you who I am, you might not like who I am - and that's all that I have."

NiceGuy

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Post #: 63
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/7/2007 12:25:45 AM   
Dakotasunbeam

 

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Patience, kindness, gentleness. Open communication. Friendship.

I guess I'd say, I'd like a relationship that wasn't rigid. We accommodated each other, believed in each other, and we're in the other's corner always. A relationship where we knew each other's faults and shortcomings but could find beauty in that. A relationship that is founded on Christ, where we could talk openly about what God was doing in our lives, share scriptures, new things we'd learned. A relationship where we could grow together. Great sex. Committment to Christ and to the vows we made on our wedding day. I'd like a relationship I could learn from and teach others. I think spending quality time together is very important--just doing silly stuff or unconventional stuff like waltzing in the backyard, or having a picknick in the kitchen. Lots of affection and touch--we understood the meaning of touching to comfort, affirm, arouse, or be playful. We won't let the other get too serious about life. Lots of laughter. We can cry together and know we have an aly. Trust each other to be faithful, not only in marrage but to Christ. Honesty and openess in matters of business, personal, and sexuality. That we would be comfortable with our bodies and free enough to enjoy, explore, and understand our bodies. That we would leave nothing edifying or comforting unsaid. That both I and He could come home to kindness. A relationship where home was defined, not as the house or a location--but being with the other person. That he would always know my shoulder was there for him, and I could find human solace in his arms.

I want our relationship to be a place. Something inviting for both of us to come home to. Something that we both work on, build, decorate, and dwell. A relationship that remained so true to God and His formula for marriage and love, that when one passes from this life into the next, the other can say in all truth, "There goes my friend."
Post #: 64
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/7/2007 12:26:23 AM   
iwillfearnoevil


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Above_All
But I thought it would be a nice discussion to talk about what YOU want within the context of a relationship. And what kinds of area do you feel growth is necessary? I am not talking about what kind of person you want but rather what you want in a relationship. For example, one thing I truly do want is to develop a good sense of responsibility for myself...having someone to care (be a helpmate so-to-speak) and I also want to be in a relationship in which there is mutual respect for one another.

So...what kinds of things do you want in a relationship?


someone who seeks after God and desires to meet my most important emotional needs
Post #: 65
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/7/2007 1:22:10 AM   
needstrength


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I want someone who can balance a check book.

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it's better to be a street bum in heaven then a king in hell.

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God and, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirt, be with you all
2 Corinthians 13:14
Post #: 66
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/7/2007 2:08:33 AM   
LabGuy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

But, seriously, I think a lot of us go around feeling like we're imposters and that if *whomever* really, really, REALLY knew us, well, it wouldn't turn out so good.

Or am I the only one?


Not by a long shot.

It's especially painful for those with low self-esteem. Because if you don't like yourself it's difficult to imagine anyone else liking the real you. And thus difficult to sustain hope that anyone ever will.

-Robb
Post #: 67
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/7/2007 4:35:00 AM   
Mrs.Above_All


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quote:

ORIGINAL: needstrength

I want someone who can balance a check book.




Hey NSIE! (((NSIE)))

Seriously, that is sooo important for me too. Ha.

::

Ok, here's another one for me. I want someone whom I can can laugh and play with. I may as well say that that is what I have with JB. We tease each other a lot and have fun with it. Even when I get irritated, it's fun. lol. We are both "brats" to each other and enjoy it. To me, this kind of relationship is very important to me. For those of you who know JB well enough, you know how much of a "brat" he can be.

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Post #: 68
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/7/2007 7:08:37 AM   
Focusing


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quote:

I want our relationship to be a place.

Yes .... a place to share my heart, a place to help me learn - about God and about life, a place of encouragement, a place to dance and share life's joys, a shelter to run to during life's storms, a soft place to fall for rest ....

I want our relationship to be a place as well.



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Post #: 69
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/7/2007 9:51:48 AM   
mutinywxgirl


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quote:

Ok, here's another one for me. I want someone whom I can can laugh and play with. I may as well say that that is what I have with JB. We tease each other a lot and have fun with it. Even when I get irritated, it's fun. lol. We are both "brats" to each other and enjoy it. To me, this kind of relationship is very important to me. For those of you who know JB well enough, you know how much of a "brat" he can be.


That is what I had with *him*. I miss that desperately and desire it again.

_____________________________

When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.


Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
Post #: 70
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/7/2007 10:08:51 AM   
Focusing


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quote:

That is what I had with *him*. I miss that desperately and desire it again.

I wonder what it is that holds us back ..... from wanting to open our hearts and share ..... to become vulnerable ..... to trust another person ..... to take down the barriers ..... to risk loving again ..... is it the fear of losing that closeness again ??

Is the risk worth it?

I would say yes ..... it's a teenie tiny taste of the love of God. We can use these relationships as stepping stones toward the goal He has for us.

................. I just wish I could see the Big Picture sometimes .................


((((Lisa)))) I'm praying for you

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There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
Post #: 71
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/7/2007 11:32:06 AM   
Brenda-lee


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Another thing I want is the ability to sit with someone in quiet comfort. Like by a roasty toasty fire, w/ a cup of hot cocoa - and just be..... 'shared togetherness'

All the playing, talking, giggles, dancing, fighting or whatever is very nice... but TODAY is the comfortable silence of 'being' sounds so incredibly wonderful to me

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RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/7/2007 3:13:15 PM   
NiceGuy


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***Incoming Message from the Big Giant Head ***

The other day I was reading a book by Elisabeth Elliot, and in it she was discussing the way in which she had attempted to describe the lives of people in a couple of biographies she had written. She said that she tried to present them in the same sort of light as the authors presented the figures we read about in the Bible. "Men are shown there for what they are: far less than perfect, but far more than nothing." That's how I hope to be viewed by whomever I marry - "Far less than perfect, but far more than nothing." I believe a relationship firmly established with that sort of mindest of grace mixed with love and admiration will be a successful relationship.

I hope that we'll share a deep and abiding respect for one another, even though we won't view everything through the same prism. I hope we'll be close friends and companions - two peas in a pod, able to share and confide and discuss things without fear. I hope that we'll work together as a team, for the betterment of our marriage, our children, and everyone we meet along the way. With all of that in place, the most important thing can be possible.. I hope that we'll be living in such a way that God can use us either individually with one or the other supporting the other, or together as a team, to help others in whatever way He so desires.

I want our marriage to be fun, loving, filled with grace and respect, God-honoring, God-aware, and God-prepared. Is that too much to ask?

NiceGuy

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Look, I brought a Sombrero! Now we can both be "cool"! - Hobbes, of Calvin and Hobbes
Post #: 73
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/7/2007 3:30:54 PM   
needstrength


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Someone who walks in Gods will for them

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Needstrength

it's better to be a street bum in heaven then a king in hell.

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God and, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirt, be with you all
2 Corinthians 13:14
Post #: 74
RE: What do YOU truly want - 12/7/2007 3:40:50 PM   
SaranadeMe


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Above_All

Incredible answers! So how about the second part to the question, what, in those areas do you feel you need growth in? What would help you to be in the kind of relationship you want?



I'm going to do a blind posting backtracking to the last time I logged on, to answer Trishy's question.

I think I need growth in learning to accept being loved. Men expressing great amounts of affection towards me has a tendency to make me a little skittish. I just don't know how to handle it. I don't think I know how to handle having someone actively pursuing/interested in me. Especially if it's something unexpected.

I think the only thing that can help me to be in the kind of relationship I want is a continued strengthening of my relationship with the Lord, and a relationship built over time. Learning to trust by seeing a man's actions back up his words makes me feel like I can trust him more. And that trust will make me more comfortable with the affection.
Post #: 75
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