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*Struggling* to conceive... - 1/10/2008 3:46:37 PM
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pumpkin
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For a while I have been wanting to restart the TTC thread, but with a little bit different twist. I am hoping that this thread will be a place for those who are actively wanting, and trying, to conceive only. We understand that there are those out there who have struggled in the past, and we understand that there are those who are sympathetic, and those who wish to pray for us … all those are admirable things, but I would ask that you still not post here. I wanted a safe place where those who are struggling with issues related to trying to conceive can come, and feel safe, and can share. Thank you for respecting this wish.
This is a forum for those who have been struggling to conceive for a while.
The longing for a child is very real and can be very difficult at times. Every month that goes by without success penetrates your inner being and just hurts.
This is the place where all those of us who are trying to conceive can encourage each other, and talk about our journey.
It does not matter whether you are trying naturally, with fertility treatments, or assisted reproductive technologies, this is the place for you. Share your joys, triumphs, struggles, anger, fear, and anxiety here…
To clarify, it is for those actively trying to conceive, who have been trying for "a time", and are struggling with it in some way. It is up to each individual woman to determine if she is struggling with conceiving or not. If you feel that it is a struggle for you, you are welcome here, but if you don't feel like it is a struggle for you, please go to the TTC thread.
< Message edited by pumpkin -- 1/10/2008 11:59:37 PM >
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/10/2008 3:56:22 PM
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pumpkin
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We've been trying for some time now, and we've not been successful yet. Currently we are both ill, but as soon as we are well, we hope to get things back underway. =)
Next on our agenda is to get David tested. Then I start clomid, which will hopefully work to help me ovulate. If not, then I'm not sure what our next step will be, but God will guide us through it, I'm sure.
Anyway, not much of a post, just wanted to sort of get things going in here. =)
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/10/2008 4:01:44 PM
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SweetLittleErin
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We have been trying since April. After I went off the pill my periods stopped. My OB/GYN began treating me for PCOS. I have been on Metformin (1000mg)for three months. And have taken 4 rounds of Clomid (50mg, 100mg, 150mg, 150mg) I have only ovulated on the 150mg. Currently I am 11 (give or take a day or two since i didnt temp, just OPK) days past ovulation. If I am not pregnant this cycle I really dont know whats next. I have to make an appointment with the doctor and go see her rather than my normal phone call and they call in a refill. We are weighing our options, how far we are comfortable going, can afford to go, etc, that way we'll be prepared when we go in. But I'm hoping I'm pregnant and wont have to worry about it!
_____________________________
~Erin~
We are going to have a baby!!!!
A Glimpse Of Pink
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/10/2008 4:20:33 PM
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SweetLittleErin
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I think you fit Amy.
_____________________________
~Erin~
We are going to have a baby!!!!
A Glimpse Of Pink
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/10/2008 4:23:07 PM
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pumpkin
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Amy, I think it's fine for you to post. You have struggled already to have a baby, and while you were pregnant it sadly ended in miscarriage. I think you fit.
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/10/2008 11:54:25 PM
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pumpkin
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I'm feeling kinda like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place lately. I had an appointment on the 2nd with the doctor... and like I mentioned, he wants David tested, and then he wants to do clomid. He doesn't want me to wait, as I am 36 now. I feel kinda like a timer has been set on me, and I need to hurry up and do something. I know that God is still in control, no matter what time line I feel I'm under. I'm really struggling with this though. I feel like I need to be saying to God, "ok God, you heard the doctor, now let's hurry up" but then I wouldn't say that to God... because it seems so disrespectful... but on the other hand, there it is.. in my thoughts.
To make matters worse. David and I got very sick this month, and that took up a lot of money. We still aren't well, and to be utterly honest, I don't know that we can afford to have David's test done this month. I don't know if the doctor will still do the clomid for me if he hasn't been tested first... and I know that the doctor wants to do an exam on me each cycle to make certain that I don't have any cysts before doing clomid that cycle.. so it would at the very least cost the amount of seeing the doctor.
I feel like those are all valid reasons to put it off for a month... but on the other hand I feel like I'm doing something wrong by putting it off a month. I'm stuck.
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/13/2008 9:19:33 PM
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not_the_first
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Pumpkin - I started an infertility thread a while back, I think with the same intentions that you have with this thread. It died out after a while I guess. I've not posted in a long time about our TTC struggles. We've been trying for 18 months. So far, it seems like it's just unexplained infertility. Both DH and I have gone through basic testing.
It really is a struggle. When I say struggle, I mean, it is something that I really have to take to the Lord on a consistent basis. I know some women may be able to just give to God once and for all, and somehow are "cured" from struggling, but for me that has not been the case. There are really really good days, and some not so good. I DO have faith that God is in control of my life, that my life is REALLY GREAT, that my real joy comes in knowing that God is Lord over my life and this is in his hands.....yet, there are still sad times.
MY DH and I have also been discussing the next step. With clomid I totally understand not knowing if you should wait, shouldn't wait, don't want to wait, yet want to wait.......We have started to pray about this next step. We don't even know what the next step would be because I don't know if I'm a candidate for clomid (I seem to be ovulating just fine). We wanted to get through the holidays and I think I am going to make an appointment soon. Sometimes I feel like we should be doing more, we are coming up on two years already, but we just haven't felt lead that way yet.
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/13/2008 9:54:50 PM
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SweetLittleErin
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Well I started my period today. Thats 9 months of trying down. I have to make an appointment to see my doctor before we go any further. Still not 100% sure what I'll do, alot of that depends on what she suggests. But right now I feel pretty confident with her and feel pretty at peace with just following her decision. Although, I would like to get pregnant on an unmedicated cycle.
_____________________________
~Erin~
We are going to have a baby!!!!
A Glimpse Of Pink
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/14/2008 9:32:42 AM
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pumpkin
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Erin, I'm sorry for the disappointment of your period coming a little early. Have you thought about any questions that you have for your doctor? Have you made your appointment yet? I know it's hard to know what you might want to talk to your doctor about.. but perhaps you could ask her how she sees the next few months going should you not be pregnant? That way you'll at least have something in mind. I know you said that you might want to try an unmedicated cycle... and I hope that works out for you. =)
I would LOVE to get pregnant on an unmedicated cycle too... but so far God has not answered that one with a yes. =) I worry a little about the clomid... with cysts and such, but the doctor assures me that it's not the type of cyst that I just had removed, and that they wouldn't allow any cysts that did develop to get very big. (basically by not giving me clomid if I have a cyst, and just waiting it out if one develops) Today is CD 22 for me.. and still no ovulation. *sigh* I originally ordered 100 OPK stick thingys and I'm now down to about 40, and have never had a positive yet. According to my charts, it's been quite some time since I ovulated too... and that gets depressing. As the doctor said... first thing we need in order for me to get pregnant is for me to start ovulating. Can't have a baby if I don't ovulate. I hate medicine though, so I don't look forward to clomid.
not_the_first, I remember your thread about infertility. I posted in it once or twice. I'm not sure why it died out. I'm sorry that you've been struggling for so long to have a baby. I, too, wanted to wait until after the holidays to have an appointment. But I called before the holidays... and sort of laughed when the nurse said "ok... how about the 2nd..." So, I had that appointment. It was basically just a discussion of what we would / should do next. I love my doctor, but at the same time... it was hard to have that as my appointment. I know he knows best, but it was just hard to leave the doctor with nothing really having changed. We still have to get David tested... but I'm thinking that's gonna have to wait until next month just due to money. We've just had so many unexpected expenses this month... and money has just flown through our hands for things we have had no control over. (sorry... I seem to have rambled from my original thoughts a bit...)
I know what you mean about giving things up to God over and over again. That's what I seem to do so well. I feel like I've given things over to God, only to pick them back up again. It's a cycle that I find hard to break. Sometimes it's as if I want to say something like... "but God, maybe you didn't know just how important this is for me... I need this to happen, and in my time rather than in yours..." Of course, I know that is not the correct attitude, but it's hard not to think that way at times. I think that's true for any area of our lives though, not just specific for wanting a baby.
Well, off to work for me. Oops! I'm about 5 min. late leaving... I guess my thoughts took more time than I thought they would. =)
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/14/2008 1:37:06 PM
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purejoy
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Thanks for starting this thread. This is what I posted in TTC about it:
quote:
ORIGINAL: purejoy
Honestly, the thought crossed my mind the other day that it would be nice to have a Struggling To Conceive thread because of this:
quote:
ORIGINAL: Hazel2
I stopped posting in this thread already because I sensed my insecurities about my fertility didn't land on the same plane as some of you all who have been trying for years and years.
I meant to PM Hazel and let her know she IS welcome and should not feel bad about being in the TTC thread. After all, she is TTC. She should not have to feel bad or guilty or bow out because some of us have tried harder or longer or whatever. Same for this:
quote:
ORIGINAL:HomeSpunLady
With the dialog going on here, I'm beginning to wonder if I should be posting on here at all. I am not having medical problems, I do have one child and although we aren't prohibiting, we aren't 'timing' intimacy at all.
Because of feelings like this, it made me think that maybe for our struggling struggles, we should take those somewhere else and not burden down this thread of the ladies that are fresh to and excited about the journey of TTC, whether for the first time or after already having other children.
quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
What I'm saying, Kim, is in that first year of trying, most people just assume they will get pregnant at some point. It's after that the struggle of accepting whatever God's will is comes. It's easier to accept a 'no' when you have no reason to think it won't be a 'yes' soon.
Exactly, Donna.
For me, I don't usually need a place to "get away from you all." But I do think the struggling struggles are different and don't want to be pulling this thread down, because I understand it can sometimes come across that way. It's not fair for someone who just started trying or has only been trying for a couple of months to feel bad coming in here to announce they're pregnant because others of us are still waiting on the Lord.
Just my thoughts.
In all honesty, some days we're trying, some days we're struggling, and some days I don't have time to think about it.
We are on month 17 with no birth control (with loose barrier for about 3 months before that) and on month 7 of actively trying and putting effort into it.
What I do need to do is make a doctors appointment. My yearly is due in March and in all honesty I will probably just wait until then. My insurance doesn't cover infertility so hopefully I can just combine the appointments. And, we have houseguests living with us for the next few weeks/months, and so I'm just not worrying about stuff while they are here. Which may put us into March anyway. Right now I am on (let me count.....) CD 20. I'm not keeping track this month, so I always have to stop and figure it out. Lucky for me, my last period started on Christmas so it's easy to remember. 
Soooo, that's where I'm at. Any news from your doctor yet Erin? Gina, sorry to hear about the disappointing doctors appointment. I'm praying you and your husband are well soon and that the money stops flying out so fast! I get that completely!
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/14/2008 1:45:24 PM
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SweetLittleErin
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My dr appt is at 8:40 (CST) in the morning.
_____________________________
~Erin~
We are going to have a baby!!!!
A Glimpse Of Pink
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/14/2008 1:56:34 PM
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purejoy
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Oh, sorry. For some reason I was thinking you were going in today. Must have mixed that up!
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/14/2008 1:58:45 PM
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SweetLittleErin
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I was calling to make the appt today. I didnt know I wasnt pregnant until Saturday. I'm a little nervous about it so pray for me. Hubby doesnt want to go with me, I understand why, but it still makes me sad to go alone.
_____________________________
~Erin~
We are going to have a baby!!!!
A Glimpse Of Pink
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/14/2008 2:01:52 PM
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purejoy
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Praying right now, Erin.
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/14/2008 2:06:09 PM
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pumpkin
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aww Erin, I'm sorry your hubby doesn't want to go with you. I don't want to pressure you on it, but just make sure he knows how important it is to you. =) I know David sometimes thinks things are an "if he wants to" sort of situation, and really they are "I need you to do this with me" and he feels bad if he didn't know that in advance. He has told me he didn't think he'd go to an appointment with me, and had me burst into tears upon that announcement. Then he quickly changed his mind, and told me that he would be happy to go with me, he just didn't know how much I wanted/needed him to go with me. I'm sure you will be ok even if he doesn't go with you, but I understand how much you want him to go with you. I know, for me, I have a lot more anxiety when David doesn't go with me. I'll be praying for you.
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/14/2008 2:09:07 PM
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SweetLittleErin
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He knows its important, but I think he doest want to go for a few reasons...1) He's afraid she'll want HIM to be tested 2) He hates hearing about women things like periods 3) He will feel awkward because he's there and thinks I might be more relaxed alone.
He did call me today and told me to get him some vitamins at the store for him to take. That he's willing to do that, this coming from the man who refuses any kind of meds...vitamins, pain pills, etc. So its a step. I am going to ask him again to please go with me, so we'll see.
_____________________________
~Erin~
We are going to have a baby!!!!
A Glimpse Of Pink
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/14/2008 2:15:23 PM
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pumpkin
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well, the vitamins are a big step for him then! =) I think it took David a bit the first time I wanted him to go to the ob/gyn office with me.... I think he felt like he'd be the only man there. He was surprised that there were other men there in the office. =)
I can also sort of understand him not wanting to/ being afraid he'll be asked to be tested. I think that's probably a big thing for a guy to do... it's not much different than a girl finding out that something with her is going wrong/not working... but for some reason it seems that men take it hard when they find that they need to be tested.
We bought David some vitamins recently too. =)
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/14/2008 2:30:26 PM
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SweetLittleErin
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Any suggestions on what Vitamins are best for the guy? Or just a good multivitamin?
_____________________________
~Erin~
We are going to have a baby!!!!
A Glimpse Of Pink
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/14/2008 2:38:28 PM
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pumpkin
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hi Erin, I just posted this in the other thread... but we just bought David a "one a day, men's formula" for now. We figured that it was better than not taking anything, and we'd see if we wanted to go anywhere with his vitamins from there.
I have taken the GNC women's formula vitamins before. I have been told that they are one of the best vitamins... not sure why, don't remember. I would assume that the men's would also be really good.
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/15/2008 10:33:12 PM
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not_the_first
Posts: 179
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From: near The Lake
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We've gone in for basic testing. I had the "we are infertile, what next" appointment right around the year mark, and then one appointment after that for bloodwork. Pumpkin, I know what you mean when you don't really feel like you got anything accomplished. We've met twice, and really, all we did was talk about the one next step. Erin, how was your appointment?
I do feel progress in one area....we just booked our next vacation. This was the first time since TTC'ing that I didn't try to calculate the "best" time to go "if" I would be pregnant by "such and such" date.....I'm sure you all know what I mean  . I didn't even think about whether or not I would be pregnant during our vacation. It's kind of sad though, i think it's because I am so used to planning ahead for things, and then I don't end up getting pregnant anyways...so I am just banking on the fact that I won't be pregnant.
I am at a time of peace right now, so I feel good about that. God has been reassuring me that His timing his good, even if I don't like it or don't like waiting. I've been hearing God remind me that He decides when we have a baby, not me - and I think I have been wrestling with that for a long time. Hard things to learn. We'll see how I feel when my next period comes though  .
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/16/2008 10:12:49 AM
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SweetLittleErin
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I posted this in the other thread but I thought I'd post here in case some are following here and not there.
I went to the doctor yesterday, before we do anymore drugs (which I think we are going to see what my body does on its own anyway...still taking Metformin) we are doing a Semen Analysis on Klay (which I am dropping off Friday morning) and an HSG on me on Tuesday (at 8:30 CST, so prayers are appreciated). She said if its all good she'd refer me to an RE for an IUI. But I told her I'd rather not do that yet. I'd rather take a little break and give my body some time first, besides insurance wont pay for it. She said thats fine and she'd do everything she could and would treat me here if thats what we wanted. The specialist would be a 2 hour drive...which means time off work for us both, it not being paid for by insurance, etc. And thats not really the route we'd like to go. So we'll see what the results are next week. In the meantime I am exercising more and trying to eat Low Carb for my PCOS, and Klay is taking vitamins, eating avacodos, and all the other stuff he read about. He researched it all himself...I'm so proud.
_____________________________
~Erin~
We are going to have a baby!!!!
A Glimpse Of Pink
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/16/2008 2:50:09 PM
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pumpkin
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good for Klay!
What benefit do avacados have?
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 1/16/2008 2:57:10 PM
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pumpkin
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yeah.. homemade guacamole is great!
we saw on tv that raw garlic was supposed to be really good. I've been teasing David about mincing garlic and putting it on all his food since then. =)
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