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RE: ...the wife - 4/11/2008 8:50:53 PM
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kielbasa
Posts: 165
Joined: 6/1/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
I find it very direspectful and is just as bad as a man referring to his wife as "the little woman," or "my old lady."
Uh, pardon my profound ignorance, but how is a man's referring to his wife as "the wife" disrespectful? I can see how the other names you mentioned could be--depending on the situation, but not "the wife."
quote:
The thing many fail to see is words to have power. Power to speak life and/ or the power to speak death.
Yes, they do--and I am proud to be a wife. "Wife" is not an insult.
quote:
Words do hurt, ask anyone who has been verbally abused
I can think of a multitude of abusive things I have been called (never by "the husband" mind you  ), but "wife" does not number among them.
It is one thing to dislike a term, quite another to read something evil and abusive into it that is not there. If one does not like a name one's husband calls one, one needs to communicate this fact to one's husband--not file for divorce.
< Message edited by kielbasa -- 4/11/2008 8:57:10 PM >
_____________________________
"This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
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RE: ...the wife - 4/12/2008 2:23:30 AM
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azroadrunner
Posts: 358
Joined: 4/13/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline
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To me, the phrase has an air of entitlement to it, like "yeah . . . everyone's got one of those. That's the one I got stuck with." When I hear "the" anything, I get the sense that the person doesn't value what or whom they're speaking of.
_____________________________
Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken ... lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket ... it will change ... it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. -C.S. Lewis
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RE: ...the wife - 4/13/2008 8:59:50 PM
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rgod
Posts: 264
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
I find it very direspectful and is just as bad as a man referring to his wife as "the little woman," or "my old lady."
It is so interesting how we are different! I would look at "my old lady" as being kind of 70ish - like hip huggers, afro-sheen, and big medallioned necklaces. If I had a husband and he called me that, I'd probably laugh, give him the peace sign, and tell him to join me in the new millenium. I'm short, so I literally am the little lady so it would be accurate.
But, I'd probably laugh at that too.
I still don't like "the wife" but I think a lot depends on how he says it. But its better than the old "ball and chain."
rgod
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RE: ...the wife - 4/13/2008 10:01:03 PM
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car2ner
Posts: 1867
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just south of Atlanta GA
Status: offline
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The "little woman" I surely am not. The Old Lady just begs to be responded to by the Old Man. Or Old Coot. Again, if it is said with friendly bantar, all is good. If said as a cutting remark, it isn't the phrase but the attitude behind it that stinks.
For fun, I call m'love POOOOOkey! Military guys use teasing as a form of endearment and far be it from me to get huggy about it.
BTW, in He Says, when I asked why some guys say, "the wife" instead of "my wife" a few answered, (((no idea))). Bet some didn't even know it bothered people or thought anything about it.
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the journal of selling my wonderful home http://www.car2ner.2ya.com (my blog)
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