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RE: The Meet Market - 5/25/2008 8:15:22 AM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2008
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline
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Question, especially for the fellows:
If it were you putting up a profile on an internet dating site, and you indicated that either one of your interests was "keeping physically fit" or that you were looking for a lady that was "physically fit"...
What, exactly, would that mean?
I've been taking it to mean that these fellows would not be interested in someone like me, who is active and healthy but genetically doomed to be overweight....I just hit "close match" when I see it in a profile.
Is it truly hopeless, though?
besiderself
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/25/2008 5:41:07 PM
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skreyola
Posts: 1728
Joined: 1/28/2008
From: Mars
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: besiderself
If it were you putting up a profile on an internet dating site, and you indicated that either one of your interests was "keeping physically fit" or that you were looking for a lady that was "physically fit"...
What, exactly, would that mean?
It is my contention that "fitness" is not a valid ideal. After all, I myself am not fit, though I have to fight strong breezes.
My idea of healthy body weight is dependent on this question: Does it keep you from participating in normal activities?
If it would keep you from participating in walks or climbing stairs or getting through doorways or, quite frankly, important for someone I might consider for marriage, from participating in normal marital activities, then it's not a healthy weight.
But if your size/weight does not interfere in these things, particularly if you can still do them without getting winded, then I don't see any problem with it.
I can't speak for anyone else, but that's my take on weight/size. I have dated women in the past who were quite curvy, and it has never caused a long-term problem.
_____________________________
-- Skreyola
http://skreyola.livejournal.com/
Linux is a multiuser, modular, peer-reviewed, free operating system. Therefore, it tends to be stable, secure, and reliable.
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I run Debian Linux (http://www.debian.org/)
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/25/2008 6:07:22 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 1396
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: besiderself
Question, especially for the fellows:
If it were you putting up a profile on an internet dating site, and you indicated that either one of your interests was "keeping physically fit" or that you were looking for a lady that was "physically fit"...
What, exactly, would that mean?
I've been taking it to mean that these fellows would not be interested in someone like me, who is active and healthy but genetically doomed to be overweight....I just hit "close match" when I see it in a profile.
Is it truly hopeless, though?
besiderself
I'm not sure if this would help. I wouldn't worry too much about the "physically fit" label. For sure there's people who won't date anyone who's not a size 2 or someone who can't run a few miles. But there's people who means that physically fit is someone that leads an active lifestyle and who enjoys doing physical activities.
To be honest, I'd like someone who can keep up with me in most activities. But the only person I've ever fallen in love with is somewhat overweight who can't or won't even walk a few blocks to go to a store because he suffered a knee injury when he was younger. So, when I meet people or look at a profile, while I notice the body type, I think I'm more open to see what type of person they are and how they view their bodies. If they focus so much on their bodies, and spent countless of hours at the gym so that they can look good without a shirt, but won't even spend a few hours hiking or playing ball with me, I'm sorry, I'm not interested.
I'm not sure if men thinks that way though. I'm sure some though.
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/25/2008 7:40:00 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16705
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: besiderself
Question, especially for the fellows:
If it were you putting up a profile on an internet dating site, and you indicated that either one of your interests was "keeping physically fit" or that you were looking for a lady that was "physically fit"...
What, exactly, would that mean?
I've been taking it to mean that these fellows would not be interested in someone like me, who is active and healthy but genetically doomed to be overweight....I just hit "close match" when I see it in a profile.
Is it truly hopeless, though?
besiderself
I hate to be a downer, but it means someone who is physically in shape. That includes weight proportioned to height as well.
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/25/2008 8:18:05 PM
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John_O
Posts: 7670
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: besiderself
If it were you putting up a profile on an internet dating site, and you indicated that either one of your interests was "keeping physically fit" or that you were looking for a lady that was "physically fit"...
What, exactly, would that mean?
I've been taking it to mean that these fellows would not be interested in someone like me, who is active and healthy but genetically doomed to be overweight....I just hit "close match" when I see it in a profile.
Is it truly hopeless, though?
Every woman is attractive to some man.
Some men say Physically fit and mean "Model"
Other say physically fit and mean "Farm woman"
The trick is figuring out which is which.
I know some women who are overweight but can out perform me at almost everything. I know some who look nice but can't do anything.
So it really depends on what the individual poster means by it.
Sorry I can be more help. But I will say, it's not hopeless.
_____________________________
Resistance is futile (if less than .25 ohms)
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/25/2008 8:59:49 PM
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DrivenbyGod
Posts: 219
Joined: 12/11/2007
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quote:
I signed up on Christiancafe.com
I've contacted about 60 people. Got no returns other than "Thanks but no thanks"
Do I have too much info on my profile? Am I not holding my mouth just right when I send the email? I haven't a clue.
Now I have been contacted by some people who are way out of my demographic (That is, they obviously don't meet requirements that I blatantly state in my profile. Such as, they say they don't want any more children and I state that having more children is vitally important to me. Obvious mismatch)
If you're interested pm me and I'll send the link to my profile. (I actually thought is was pretty good)
HEY! Maybe it's my deodorant (sniffs) Nope. It seems to be working.
I've tried a few including eharmaony, christiancafe and latest christianmingle.
Here's my take.
Eharmony is a joke:
They matched me consistently with women that were 10yrs older then me and the women were bitter if I rejected them politely. I mentioned in my profile I don't date women older then me and other specifics that were ignored.
All the other semi-free sites.. christiancafe, christianmingle and even tried plentyoffish, which isn't specifically Christian, although none of these are in my opinion. I've found you get all kinds of nut jobs on these.
There may be some legitimate good quality women on these sites, but I've never found one.
I've given up on online dating and will just live my life and hopefully find someone the old fashioned way.
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/25/2008 10:20:39 PM
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trinigirl722
Posts: 339
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Dallas, TX
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: besiderself
Question, especially for the fellows:
If it were you putting up a profile on an internet dating site, and you indicated that either one of your interests was "keeping physically fit" or that you were looking for a lady that was "physically fit"...
What, exactly, would that mean?
I've been taking it to mean that these fellows would not be interested in someone like me, who is active and healthy but genetically doomed to be overweight....I just hit "close match" when I see it in a profile.
Is it truly hopeless, though?
besiderself
IMO, you can't know what the person means until you asked. As John said, different people could have different definitions for that term.
I think you might be cheating yourself out of the chance to get to know someone if you close the match at the very beginning. With the way eHarmony is set up, you could ask your match what he means in stage 3, where you can send a question of your own. Then he can close the match if he realizes you don't fit into that definition. But if you close him out at the beginning, you'll never know. He could just be looking for someone who can keep up with him.
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/25/2008 10:25:11 PM
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BugLady
Posts: 2717
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
think you might be cheating yourself out of the chance to get to know someone if you close the match at the very beginning. With the way eHarmony is set up, you could ask your match what he means in stage 3, where you can send a question of your own. Then he can close the match if he realizes you don't fit into that definition. But if you close him out at the beginning, you'll never know. He could just be looking for someone who can keep up with him.
I agree with this ^^. And if you are physically fit enough to go about the business of participating in all the activities you enjoy, then you are physically fit and that may be exactly what one of those matches is looking for.
edit: to remove a question mark from a statement, and a bit of rephrasing.
< Message edited by BugLady -- 5/25/2008 11:07:15 PM >
_____________________________
• Human trafficking is the 3rd largest source of income for organized crime, generating $7 billion a year.
International Justice Mission
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/26/2008 1:08:51 AM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1413
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: totalfaith
quote:
I signed up on Christiancafe.com
I've contacted about 60 people. Got no returns other than "Thanks but no thanks"
Do I have too much info on my profile? Am I not holding my mouth just right when I send the email? I haven't a clue.
Now I have been contacted by some people who are way out of my demographic (That is, they obviously don't meet requirements that I blatantly state in my profile. Such as, they say they don't want any more children and I state that having more children is vitally important to me. Obvious mismatch)
If you're interested pm me and I'll send the link to my profile. (I actually thought is was pretty good)
HEY! Maybe it's my deodorant (sniffs) Nope. It seems to be working.
I've tried a few including eharmaony, christiancafe and latest christianmingle.
Here's my take.
Eharmony is a joke:
They matched me consistently with women that were 10yrs older then me and the women were bitter if I rejected them politely. I mentioned in my profile I don't date women older then me and other specifics that were ignored.
All the other semi-free sites.. christiancafe, christianmingle and even tried plentyoffish, which isn't specifically Christian, although none of these are in my opinion. I've found you get all kinds of nut jobs on these.
There may be some legitimate good quality women on these sites, but I've never found one.
I've given up on online dating and will just live my life and hopefully find someone the old fashioned way.
This is why I've also given up on online sites because first of all, there are no real christians and all they think about is height, weight, race and all those stupid preferences which I think they are just right stupid. And I don't qualify for all of them because people want "perfection" or a "Barbie Doll" image.
Hello people....
There is no such thing as perfection. The only preference is that people walk together in the spirit and are Christians who go after the Lord and posess godly charater. The other things can fall into place later.
I wish that Christian singles who are seeking a mate be taught that theory instead of looking to the world for their idea of a perfect man or woman.
Maybe a lot of us Christian women especially would not be ripped off by those services which claim to be "Christian" but the indivisuals who represent are not truly walking with God and Christian is just a buzz word to some.
_____________________________
Remembering Topher...
Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/26/2008 1:46:18 PM
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derryderrydown
Posts: 34
Joined: 5/17/2008
From: Vermont
Status: offline
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I looked over a few options and they were all so generic -- I like the color blue and walks on the beach stuff. I did eHarmony for almost 3 years and think they screen people very well. They slowly ease you into "open communication", so you never feel you have to leap into any close contact. All the matches I got were very religious men with strong moral values. Unfortunately, I was around 50, and despite being a pretty good catch (in my estimation!), there are a zillion single women on those sites and about six men total. I had a few very nice dates. When I moved from a metropolitan area, I gave it up. 
quote:
Eharmony is a joke:
They matched me consistently with women that were 10yrs older then me and the women were bitter if I rejected them politely. I mentioned in my profile I don't date women older then me and other specifics that were ignored.
I found that "age range" thing a problem, too! I wrote it to them about it and they said that unfortunately, there is no way to adjust it past a certain point. Since I was 50+, I could get men almost 70. I always felt like asking those preliminary questions: Where do you see yourself in 15 years?; and do you want more children?
< Message edited by derryderrydown -- 5/26/2008 2:04:57 PM >
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"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/26/2008 2:19:04 PM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1413
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
Status: offline
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Sorry, don't date men in their 70's. Right now, I'm not ready to be in a lifestyle which someone at that age stop being active and cannot keep up with me. And if these dating services like you said because you are 50+ or nearing 50 and all you get is those men, forget about it. I want to live life right now, not die early and yes, don't want to look older and let myself go and look "old."
(no offense to those who are 70 who are living their lives and not looking at televison--look at Robert Redford, he is in his 70's and getting engaged to someone who is 50--but at least he is not sitting on his laurels...)
_____________________________
Remembering Topher...
Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/26/2008 7:31:05 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 1396
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
Sorry, don't date men in their 70's. Right now, I'm not ready to be in a lifestyle which someone at that age stop being active and cannot keep up with me. And if these dating services like you said because you are 50+ or nearing 50 and all you get is those men, forget about it. I want to live life right now, not die early and yes, don't want to look older and let myself go and look "old."
(no offense to those who are 70 who are living their lives and not looking at televison--look at Robert Redford, he is in his 70's and getting engaged to someone who is 50--but at least he is not sitting on his laurels...)
It's amazing how someone will so readily criticized the standards of other people, then come up with her own list of why she would or wouldn't date someone.
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/26/2008 8:19:13 PM
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azroadrunner
Posts: 248
Joined: 4/13/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline
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I've gone on several dates with someone I met on e-harmony and he's actually a really great guy! Very godly, strong morals, a leader, but also not judgmental, as some moral people can be. Not to mention he's funny, thoughtful, kind, romantic, intelligent, easy-going, and attractive. We also have a lot in common and our interactions are almost effortless - as he says, it's "easy" to be around me. I was against e-harmony for a while based on some of my (mis)matches, but there actually are some really great people on that site. I guess you just have to weed through them like any other population. (BTW, he's 9 years younger than me and doesn't seem to have a problem with it at all!)
_____________________________
Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken ... lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket ... it will change ... it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. -C.S. Lewis
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/26/2008 8:33:41 PM
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trinigirl722
Posts: 339
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Dallas, TX
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: azroadrunner
I've gone on several dates with someone I met on e-harmony and he's actually a really great guy! Very godly, strong morals, a leader, but also not judgmental, as some moral people can be. Not to mention he's funny, thoughtful, kind, romantic, intelligent, easy-going, and attractive. We also have a lot in common and our interactions are almost effortless - as he says, it's "easy" to be around me. I was against e-harmony for a while based on some of my (mis)matches, but there actually are some really great people on that site. I guess you just have to weed through them like any other population. (BTW, he's 9 years younger than me and doesn't seem to have a problem with it at all!)
Hey, that's great Azroadrunner! Always nice to hear good news.
Yes, I suppose a service is only as good as the people who sign up to use it. Glad you found a good one!
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/26/2008 10:28:00 PM
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BugLady
Posts: 2717
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: azroadrunner
... I believe God can use any situation to bring two people together - even an online dating site!
I believe this too.
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• Human trafficking is the 3rd largest source of income for organized crime, generating $7 billion a year.
International Justice Mission
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/26/2008 10:38:21 PM
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John_O
Posts: 7670
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: trinigirl722
What's scary is that some of them might have actually said "yes" to the question about children.  When I was on EH some of the 40+ and 50+ profiles said they would "maybe" or definitely want kids. That doesn't seem very fair to the kids, to me. That would make their dad around retirement age when the first child graduated from high school.
I'm 47. My oldest daughter (only so far but I'm praying for more) is 7. I don't see a problem with it. I'm more active with her than most parents I know.
Age is not an issue. Fitness is an issue. Some people of advanced years are just sitting around waiting to die. Others are enjoying life and planning to live forever or until Jesus comes back.
_____________________________
Resistance is futile (if less than .25 ohms)
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/26/2008 10:58:21 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 6764
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
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And everyone is different, trinigirl. I'm not even 30 and I don't want anymore. Both of the Things will graduate from high school before I'm 40. I have no desire to start all over in my mid to late 30's.
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/26/2008 11:00:56 PM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1413
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
Sorry, don't date men in their 70's. Right now, I'm not ready to be in a lifestyle which someone at that age stop being active and cannot keep up with me. And if these dating services like you said because you are 50+ or nearing 50 and all you get is those men, forget about it. I want to live life right now, not die early and yes, don't want to look older and let myself go and look "old."
(no offense to those who are 70 who are living their lives and not looking at televison--look at Robert Redford, he is in his 70's and getting engaged to someone who is 50--but at least he is not sitting on his laurels...)
It's amazing how someone will so readily criticized the standards of other people, then come up with her own list of why she would or wouldn't date someone.
Excuse me?
Just because I'm a widow and nearing 50, I don't want to be sterotyped to getting older men which these services will offer you. Like John said, some of the older folks are wating to die and do not want to do anything and I don't want to be stuck with someone who want to die as in oppostion of doing things and wanting to live life and not being in a bed someplace eating bon bons nor someone who is depressed all the time nor someone who is an abusive person.
That is what you get on these dating websites.
_____________________________
Remembering Topher...
Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/26/2008 11:02:19 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 1396
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
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Age is a minor issue. Just look at Indiana Jones, LOL.
There was an 81 year old who finished the local half marathon a month ago. He even beat a 61 year old man. I think I'd like to grow old like that, and hopefully, I'll meet someone who has that kind of passion in life. I just hope neither of us are 81 when we meet each other.
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/26/2008 11:18:12 PM
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BugLady
Posts: 2717
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
I just hope neither of us are 81 when we meet each other.
No kidding!
_____________________________
• Human trafficking is the 3rd largest source of income for organized crime, generating $7 billion a year.
International Justice Mission
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RE: The Meet Market - 5/26/2008 11:32:29 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16705
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?
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