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RE: Daughter wrongly accused - 3/26/2008 10:56:36 AM
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stellaluna
Posts: 3281
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: momma_bee
My opinion - she should have missed the one that she definately 'could have' cheated on.
Minus 1
This is what I was thinking as well. I'm still not sure I would consider filling in one answer as "cheating." If the teacher always tests the words in a predictable order and doesn't make it clear that filling in one word will get you a zero, then I would consider it working ahead. (in a kid brain)
TMeeks generally has good advice and the advice above me is no exception. Don't put your Christian school on a pedestal. I'm the partial product of one that was poor academically and cruel in disciplinary matters. Also, I encountered a lot of...interesting  ...situations in my school career. I was a kid who was determined to learn and more determined to "show them." But I watched so many other kids flounder and fail needlessly. I don't want your kid to be one of those. She may need a different teacher or completely different curriculum.
A note on testing:
I had a similar experience as the one TMeeks related. I was teaching a class at a university--a university--and had a student who was barely scraping by with a 2.0. He had already been on academic probation once. I couldn't understand it at all, because I had gotten to know him pretty well and knew he was very bright. He was actually more bright than most of my A students and in fact, I was planning to ask him to be a class assistant, helping me by tutoring his fellow students. So I told him one day that I didn't want to offend him and maybe it was none of my business, but he was very smart and why were his grades so low?
This young man proceeded to tell me that he was paralyzed by tests. He had problems with test anxiety his entire school career. Even if his homework was perfect, his test grades were so low that his average was barely above passing. He joined a gang and decided to drop out of school, but his mother intervened. He did end up graduating and it took a fair amount of work to find a university that would take him with his grades. By the grace of God, he ended up with me.  I'm not saying that because I'm tooting my own horn, but because having him in my life has blessed me! That boy was hysterical and I laughed and laughed every time he was around, even as I did my best to ignore his gang signs and colors and everything that came with that.
So anyway, I pressed him about this test anxiety stuff and decided to conduct a little experiment. When we took our next test, I separated him from the rest of the class and let him take his test. He made an A+. He said he felt totally relaxed and he remembered everything he studied. He was so proud! It was the first time anyone had ever tried to accommodate him. I went one further and contacted our student disability office. They actually had a counselor who worked with students with test anxiety. The counselor started working with him right away and arranged for him to take his tests alone in the school's testing center. He graduated with a 3.5 GPA, left the gang and went on to get a Master's degree. I still consider him a friend, more than ten years later. 
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RE: Daughter wrongly accused - 3/26/2008 11:23:29 AM
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buckifn
Posts: 1759
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I think the title is misleading...I don't see it as falsely accused, or accused at all, for that matter.
She wrote an answer down before the test was actually given, and I can see where that could be viewed as cheating. I'd say talk to her about why that is not what one does before a test and move on. It doesn't seem like anything worth thinking about to me. Grades are not the most important factor, use it for a life lesson...look for something positive to teach her such as how you handle disagreements with an authority figure in a reasonable calm manner...schedule a meeting with the teacher, your child, and you and state your views, then put the matter to rest.
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RE: Daughter wrongly accused - 3/26/2008 12:26:05 PM
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stampinlady
Posts: 1918
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Northern IL
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quote:
schedule a meeting with the teacher, your child, and you and state your views, then put the matter to rest.
This is exactly what I would do. Everyone needs to be on the same page.
Meeks, I agree with your comment on the "mercy" thing. Dd is finishing 8th grade at a christian school we've been at for the last 3 years the same one I aided in kindergartin for 2 and I know about the mercy thing. I was very frustrated with ds teachers at times, but felt that my voice didn't matter. We pulled him out for 7th grade and put him in public and he's a much happier kid.
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RE: Daughter wrongly accused - 3/26/2008 12:52:52 PM
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TMeeks
Posts: 1367
Joined: 1/27/2007
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quote:
Original=Stellaluna
...
So anyway, I pressed him about this test anxiety stuff and decided to conduct a little experiment. When we took our next test, I separated him from the rest of the class and let him take his test. He made an A+. He said he felt totally relaxed and he remembered everything he studied. He was so proud! It was the first time anyone had ever tried to accommodate him. I went one further and contacted our student disability office. They actually had a counselor who worked with students with test anxiety. The counselor started working with him right away and arranged for him to take his tests alone in the school's testing center. He graduated with a 3.5 GPA, left the gang and went on to get a Master's degree. I still consider him a friend, more than ten years later.
That is a wonderful example of a creative teachure taking the time to understand a student. Great post! 
I believe, that with the latest discoveries, such as those by Dr. Amen and others at places like NIH, teachers will have a lot more insight so that they will be more inspired to search deeper with kids that are struggling.
And, it will also help parents to make the best decisions for their child. When we chose a college for my daughter I knew NOTHING about cingulate issues (oppositional tendencies). But, I did observe this. While at a great Christian college, she rebeled at everything like chapel, etc. But, when she transferred to a liberal woman's art school she almost immediaetly became STRONGER in her faith and Christian convictions. Reading Dr. Amen's book enlightened me as to WHY we saw this complete turnaround. 
< Message edited by TMeeks -- 3/26/2008 1:06:32 PM >
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Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
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RE: Daughter wrongly accused - 3/28/2008 11:52:31 PM
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Kath
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csl7037
Will you tell us what was the outcome of the meeting you had yesterday?
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RE: Daughter wrongly accused - 3/29/2008 1:18:25 PM
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csl7037
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I don't think it accomplished much. I did't say all that I should've; I knew I wouldn't. It went about as expected. She did say that, if dd will go to her about it, she'll work up some extra credit. We'll see.
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RE: Daughter wrongly accused - 5/12/2008 10:20:02 AM
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csl7037
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Quick update to share. Although I was really not happy with the way this was hadled, I tried to defer to the teacher's authority (myself and as an example to dd) and this is turning out OK. My biggest fear was that this would discourage dd and she'd just shut down and give up on the end of the school year. Somehow, and much to the teacher's credit, she has actually had a bit of a turnaround since this incident on the 2nd weekly spelling test of the 9 weeks. She has actually gotten 100's on two of the spelling tests which I don't think has happened all year! I don't know what she got on Friday and this Friday will be the last one. But today, the teacher is letting her do the test in question over for extra/partial credit. Given those two hundreds, depending on what she gets on these last two, she may not even really need the EC. But I think it does make her feel better. So it's all turned out OK and I don't have to end the year with this hanging over my head (or stuck in my craw) and dreadng ds getting to 3rd.
It wont be dd's best report card. But she really hung in there after a rough start and could end up with 3 A's and 3 B's...that's a slim chance, two of those are just really close to A's so we'll see. And there's still some work to do to make sure spelling and math don't drop to C's. But she's trying and even her "behavior marks" are really good lately. That's what' exciting to me.
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RE: Daughter wrongly accused - 5/12/2008 11:39:57 AM
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thisistheday
Posts: 11517
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Thanks for the update CSL, I'm glad things are going better.
Dee
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RE: Daughter wrongly accused - 5/12/2008 3:07:17 PM
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debilyn
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Great news!
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RE: Daughter wrongly accused - 5/15/2008 7:15:08 PM
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danas_mom
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Joined: 6/17/2005
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Glad to hear things are going so much better!
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I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing. ~ 2 Samuel 24:24
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