Roommate Problems? (Full Version)

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GodsGirl300 -> Roommate Problems? (4/3/2008 11:35:41 PM)


I have reasons to believe that my roommate may be a lesibian with another one of my good friends. I'm not sure what to do. I believe my roommate is a Christian, but the other girl I'm not sure. Should I say something? Should I just let it go? I know I just need to love them regardless of what their lifestyle, but its hard. I find myself over anaylzing everything now.



deermousie -> RE: Roommate Problems? (4/4/2008 12:22:10 AM)

Well, you don't know so I wouldn't obsess over it. I suppose you could ask her, but really, I'd just let it go as you don't have any facts.

If she was a lesbian, what would you do? If you are uncomfortable with her, it might be time to move anyway.



crm4souls -> RE: Roommate Problems? (4/4/2008 3:01:56 AM)

With a room mate you must Communicate or DO NOT LIVE together. Often times when God has us live with roommates it is preparation for marriage. You must talk to your roommate about these issues. You mentioned the other girl is a good friend. If you are closer with her, then approach her first and find out the truth. Don't accuse or judge, just find out the truth and deal with it. If you do not what to confront the issues at hand you may want to move somewhere else if it is affecting your life. Remember living with a roommate is preparation for marriage, communication is the key to a lasting relationship...any relationship from marriage to a good friend.



preserved -> RE: Roommate Problems? (4/4/2008 5:54:36 PM)

The only way that you will know the truth is by asking...You will also have to be careful as to how you ask as well..Then if you feel that uncomfortable then perhaps you need to seek another place to live...You love the person...but you do not have to condone the sin



jaimestarcross -> RE: Roommate Problems? (4/4/2008 11:48:54 PM)

Before asking the personal question - what makes you think she's a lesbian?
You give no clues as to how you've reached such a conclusion.

Did you take the time to get to know this girl before moving in with her... it doesn't
sound like it to me... you mentioned: I believe my roommate is a Christian.

Take time to get to know someone before moving in with them (next time).



agapetos -> RE: Roommate Problems? (4/5/2008 10:23:13 AM)

quote:

The only way that you will know the truth is by asking...You will also have to be careful as to how you ask as well..
You also need to be ready to face the consequences of asking her such a question. You could loose 2 friends through this.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't ask, just that you need to look at the consequences too.



song -> RE: Roommate Problems? (4/5/2008 9:52:45 PM)

Just ask her what's up with her and the other girl.

I agree with the other poster that says if she's making you uncomfortable it's probably time to find a new room mate.



GodsGirl300 -> RE: Roommate Problems? (4/7/2008 2:10:52 PM)



jaimestarcross: I have known my roommate for a couple of years. She says she is a Christian, but honestly I havent seen the fruit. There are things that you find out about your friends after you actually have to live with them that otherwise you wouldnt know.

The reason why I suspect she is a lesbian because the closeness of the relationship between my 2 friends. We live several hours away from our mutual friend and they are consistently on the phone together. They probably talk/text a couple hours a day. When our friend visits they are more touchy than I am comfortable with. I've mentioned that in kind of a joking manner. I've also had people ask me if she was a lesbian.

I'm not uncomforable living with her. And I dont believe I would stop living with her just because I do not agree with her lifestyle. She would have to make uncomfortable to live. I'm just unsure if I should say something to her. Like agapetos said, I could loose two friends. That is not something I want to take lightly. I guess my question is should I say something? or just wait and find out?



agapetos -> RE: Roommate Problems? (4/8/2008 4:47:04 AM)

quote:

When our friend visits they are more touchy than I am comfortable with.
But that could be down to the way you were brought up. I know people who just hug everyone and anyone and I know others who don't touch anyone other than their dh/dw/children ~ different people could find either difficult to deal with ~ just because you aren't comfortable with them being 'touchy' doesn't mean that they are lesbians.

You seem very aware of their contact and you need to consider whether you are perhaps a little jealous that they are so close (ie are you feeling a little left out?). It all kind of depends on what other friendships you all have.

quote:

There are things that you find out about your friends after you actually have to live with them that otherwise you wouldnt know.
Yes there are.

I was in a situation some years back when I lodged with someone ~ she was a Christian. We were chatting one night and I suddenly had a pressing urge to ask her where she was with God. I didn't because everything I knew about her (from my observations and knowing her family and church commitments) said that she was ok. Before I knew it, she'd dropped out of church and was living with another woman.

I'll never know what would have happened if I had challenged her when I had that urge. You need to pray hard about this so you do the right thing. If you are wrong you will at the very least cause hurt feelings. Perhaps you could get together with them and start a discussion about how long you've all been Christians, what it means to you all, what God has done in your lives, how you can encourage each other and support each other etc. It would be a way of getting to know them a little better and perhaps finding out if they are Christians (and just because you don't see much fruit doesn't mean they're not Christians).



jaimestarcross -> RE: Roommate Problems? (4/8/2008 11:17:27 AM)

quote:

I'm just unsure if I should say something to her. Like agapetos said, I could loose two friends. That is not something I want to take lightly. I guess my question is should I say something? or just wait and find out?


*I wouldn't say anything about your suspicions the real concern is pointing them to Christ and being a caring Christian witness.
You said you can't see the fruit of your friend being a Christian... so show her a fruit bearing tree whenever possible.



preserved -> RE: Roommate Problems? (4/17/2008 6:39:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GodsGirl300



jaimestarcross: I have known my roommate for a couple of years. She says she is a Christian, but honestly I havent seen the fruit. There are things that you find out about your friends after you actually have to live with them that otherwise you wouldnt know.

The reason why I suspect she is a lesbian because the closeness of the relationship between my 2 friends. We live several hours away from our mutual friend and they are consistently on the phone together. They probably talk/text a couple hours a day. When our friend visits they are more touchy than I am comfortable with. I've mentioned that in kind of a joking manner. I've also had people ask me if she was a lesbian.

I'm not uncomforable living with her. And I dont believe I would stop living with her just because I do not agree with her lifestyle. She would have to make uncomfortable to live. I'm just unsure if I should say something to her. Like agapetos said, I could loose two friends. That is not something I want to take lightly. I guess my question is should I say something? or just wait and find out?



If it does not make you uncomfortable to live with her if you think she is a lesbian....then you need to leave the situation alone...However, I find it odd that if you are a christian for you to be comfortable if this roomate is a lesbian...You made reference you are not able to see her fruit...the same could be said about you?...Pray on the situation and allow God to show you the light...You are making accusation based on the closeness she shares with others...I say leave in in the hands of God...I suspect there is more to your initial question perhaps there could be a bit of jealously...



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