A woman with A PAST . . . (Full Version)

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BlackCapnHarlock -> A woman with A PAST . . . (4/9/2008 7:01:29 AM)

Okay men, lets see how tough we are. Could you marry enter into a holy covenant marriage with a woman who is truly saved, truly washed, truly Holy, but who used to be a porn star?

There are women who have made that change from sexually promiscous lifestyles to the forefront of the body of CHRIST, but could you?

I don't think I could . . . I am possibly going to work on a short story about it, maybe I will share it with some of you when I'm done.



Konstantinos -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/9/2008 9:23:44 AM)

yes

i dont really care for anyone's past if they've changed



beauregarde -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/9/2008 11:19:28 AM)

Well God had Hosea marry a prostitute. Basically the same, sex for money.

A person is not likely to casually date a porn star turned Christian. So, I imagine a special relationship would develop overtime - that may turn to a romantic one.

So, to answer the question, "Yes, I could."



APZR -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/9/2008 3:57:49 PM)

That would be tough, the constant reminder of the past... the DVDs and movies will always be out there.



mb35 -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/9/2008 4:28:35 PM)

A woman's past is a problem when.....it doesn't stay in the past!!

Women NEVER seem to be able to grasp this simple concept. Whether it's a porn star or a woman with ex-boyfriends / ex-husbands. My GF accused me recently of "having a problem with her past". There is always drama with her ex-husband (they had a child together), so I shook my head the other day after he called and I made a wisecrack. Later, she tells me I need to get over her past - I replied, "I am...but, when your past is affecting current situations, it's called the PRESENT".

So, to answer the question, if it was truly in her past I could probably get over it. But, as mentioned above, if movies were still circulating (and my neighbor's and everybody knew intimate details about my wife/girlfriend) I couldn't handle it....nor would I want to even try to handle or deal with that situation.



SHIFT -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/9/2008 5:13:00 PM)

as long as she's clean, I'm ALL for it. Her past and my past don't matter. My wife had more partners than I did before we came to christ. It's all about being faithful in the future. I'm sure she'd rock me pretty good too with everything she's learned.



zamdad -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/9/2008 7:43:49 PM)

As has been stated, the past is in the past. Are you and is she living for Christ in the present and for the future? In my marriage, it was me that was the promiscuous one. I was a male stripper and tried to live like a porn star. Sometimes, it seems, we need to get over ourselves and be grateful for the gifts God grants us.



Christian30 -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/9/2008 9:49:43 PM)

Yes I could, if she dealt with the past effectively, even though not perfectly.



denbert -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/10/2008 6:22:51 AM)

-
Is it true that wives deal better with their husband's past than husbands do with their wive's past?



SHIFT -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/10/2008 8:04:35 AM)

that's a matter of opinion



1love1God1way -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/10/2008 6:42:11 PM)

I had a dream that I did just that.



9drtr -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/10/2008 8:39:59 PM)

Tough question.

Porn star, I really don't know. I think could marry a former nude model, but a former porn star....



SHIFT -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/10/2008 11:22:23 PM)

Give a girl a chance. As long as she's not who she was, you're good to go. If she loves YOU and only YOU and wants to be with YOU then don't judge her for who she was, appreciate her for who she is.



9drtr -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/11/2008 4:53:00 PM)

I admit that it's my problem, not hers. But everyone balks at some point; this may be mine.



Pauley464 -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/16/2008 2:04:00 PM)

I don't believe that I would have a problem marrying a former porn star if she truly had changed. Mainly for the reason that I had a problem with being a viewer of porn in my past. I really don't think one is worse than the other.



Preacherhc -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/16/2008 9:47:15 PM)

Remember Rahab the Harlot.
but most important we need to remeember
1 john 1:7. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
8. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
9. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
10. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.



9drtr -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/17/2008 7:47:06 PM)

But remember that we aren't saying she's evil, we're saying that we would - or might - have trouble dealing with the issues.



DaveW -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/18/2008 6:18:47 AM)

Everyone has trouble dealing with issues. It would just be a different set of issues.

I would not have a problem with it per se, but if there was an ongoing tendancy or desire to get back into that life, or to clam up so tight against anything sexual that it interfered with normal relations then it would be a problem.

But, that would be an unknown factor until after you get married.



denbert -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (4/18/2008 6:35:37 AM)

-
YIKES!



D3DO -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (5/7/2008 12:05:27 AM)

With God at the heart of it anything is possible- I would definately have to be prayed up and VERY confident that it was God leading and not my flesh-
Every one is forgiven of their sin, BUT their sin carries with it consequences and emotional baggage- That is one HUGE trunk she will be carrying and you will have to go through it at some point, and likely multiple times.

For all you guys who think it would be "sweet" as she has "learned" all this cool stuff that you will benefit from- chances are she is not going to be that into sex as it is a link to a past she is trying to forget- that goes for all the stuff she "learned" as well, not to mention it used to be a JOB- do you want to come home to work?



D3DO -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (5/7/2008 12:09:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SHIFT
I'm sure she'd rock me pretty good too with everything she's learned.


I cannot believe you posted this- I also cannot believe no one commented how inappropriate this statement is. You need to do some praying/soul searching if that is what you think.



Amped88 -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (5/7/2008 9:08:45 AM)

I tend to agree on that one D3DO. Sometimes we say thins without letting the Holy Spirit talk for us. Instead Satan thinks he won because he got his wisecrack out on the Christian forums. This doesn't mean SHIFT isn't a good guy. It just means Satan got a hold of him before the Holy Spirit did. My recommendation is just to pray about that comment SHIFT and ask God what you should do to change your heart a bit if it is his will.


quote:

ORIGINAL: D3DO

quote:

ORIGINAL: SHIFT
I'm sure she'd rock me pretty good too with everything she's learned.


I cannot believe you posted this- I also cannot believe no one commented how inappropriate this statement is. You need to do some praying/soul searching if that is what you think.



buckifn -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (5/9/2008 7:29:53 AM)

I doubt it- but I know if God has that plan for my life He would make it happen in a way that brings peace not confusion.

I was thinking about the friends I have now...several are friends that I know almost all of their life story because we grew up together..but for the others...discussing our past is something that seldom if ever has come up....I'm thinking that is in part because I don't feel it's even worth mentioning.



beyond -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (5/11/2008 6:26:40 PM)

Isn't it always going to be hard if your wife has a past? For a season anyway. Isn't it always going to make us, as men ,have to deal with some of are own insecurities? Were men we want to be the best for and to our wives, and that includes sexually. Tell me in the back of your mind you don't wonder "did she enjoy being with the other guy(s) more than me". Sure sex is not the most impotant aspect of marriage, but it is important!

Man wouldn't Gods way be so much better! Two virgins at the alter commiting to each other for life!!

Ex-porn star, nah, God bless her and she deserves love and respect and a good life.
I just simply don't have the spiritual maturity to handle that one!!



FolkSingerBlues -> RE: A woman with A PAST . . . (5/11/2008 7:56:58 PM)

I'd like to through this in the mix. It's not an answer to the question in the OP but it should add to the discussion.

My wife and I have been married 15 years, we've had our share of problems in many areas (as all truthful married couples do).
My wife was a divorcee with a 3 year old child. It is evident the difficulties that such a situation can present. Through our struggles I have came to the conclusion that our marriage will NEVER be what God fully intended a marriage to be. I have equally came to the conclusion that our marriage will be blessed by God if we follow Him and his teachings.

This would be true of someone marrying an ex porn star as well. The marriage would never be the marriage God fully intended it to be, but he could/would bless the marriage if they followed Him.

This is true of any situation. The things we do prior to marriage, during marriage etc. effect our marriage. When we sin, it takes deteriorates the full intentions God has for our marriage relationships.



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