bonding with future brother in law (Full Version)

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redtulip -> bonding with future brother in law (4/12/2008 11:59:01 PM)

I grew up in a house with three sisters. Almost all my friends are girls and my dad isn't what you'd call a manly-man. Not that he's girly or anything, he's just not into hunting, sports, etc. This summer, my sister and best friend (same person [:)]) is getting married to the poster manly man : marine, hunter, sports...ya get the point.

Being so close to my sister, she and I both think it's really important that I have a good relationship with her fiance. I have trouble finding things to talk to him about and I'm never really sure how to act around him. I need to be myself, I know, and I'm pretty sure I am - but the 'real' me, don't know how to bond with this guy! I do like him and think he's great for my sister.

My sister who's marrying the guy keeps talking about how she loves that we sisters are finally going to have a brother...so I know my having a relationship with him is important to her, too.

What are your thoughts on this?

Thanks!!!



jaimestarcross -> RE: bonding with future brother in law (4/13/2008 2:17:03 AM)

Ah the art of getting to know your sister's fiance --- these things take time and after you get around the awkward stage you will find things in common ... main thing is to relax... this guy is engaged to your sister. Be kind when in his presence just like you are when you're meeting girls/women you aren't acquainted with - ask your sister for pointers/clues to things he's interested in such as books, music, movies, art, tv show, favorite foods etc... you can chit chat about those things as you learn about her fiance.

Good relationships develop over time - it's not like you will be hanging out all the time with your sister and her fiance (soon to be husband) - they will want privacy/space to be a couple.

I'm glad she's happy about you gaining a brother in-law (if things go as planned)--- he won't be a brother to her ... he'll be her husband and in time you and her will interact in a different way because she'll be married and there's boundaries to respect in regard to how much time you and her will be hanging out together.



redtulip -> RE: bonding with future brother in law (4/13/2008 10:14:16 AM)

quote:

I'm glad she's happy about you gaining a brother in-law (if things go as planned)--- he won't be a brother to her ... he'll be her husband


For sure! When I said "My sister who's marrying the guy keeps talking about how she loves that we sisters are finally going to have a brother...so I know my having a relationship with him is important to her, too." I was referring to her excitement that our other sister and I would be getting a brother [:D]

As for the part about relationships and bonding taking time, this is a little rough because they're moving to the other side of the country two weeks after the wedding so I know a lot of getting to know him isn't going to happen for awhile. I just want to get to know him well enough that going to visit them won't be awkward, ya know!

Thanks for the words of wisdom, they're greatly appreciated!



preserved -> RE: bonding with future brother in law (4/15/2008 4:53:38 PM)

Like one of the other posters mentioned. Find out from your sister what he is into...hobbies, sports, etc...Get to know him from his side...and just be you



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