First date: do's and don'ts (Full Version)

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RichLP -> First date: do's and don'ts (4/14/2008 3:23:44 PM)

I've dated several girls, I've had several girlfriends, and yet for some reason, the prospect of a first date is always.... exciting.

So why not assist this brother? (Sisters, from your POV; brothers, things you've done that were good and things you did that you later regretted)

First dates do's and don'ts - what are your recommendations?

Speak from experience, not just from your particular likes and dislikes.

And: would it be a DO or a DON'T to say: "you looked great in the pictures I was given of you, but you look even better in person."



NoDumbBlonde -> RE: First date: do's and don'ts (4/14/2008 5:05:45 PM)

I know a lot of people who suggest a movie as a first date. But I don't. You can't really get to know each other during a movie. Although it may provide some conversation starters afterward if you find yourself lacking for ice breakers.

DON"T: talk about yourself all evening or expect them to.
DON"T assume anything.
DO be a gentleman. It seems its a lost art these days and many women appreciate it.
DO be yourself. Don't try to be anything but. Relax and have fun.
DO be honest with them and yourself.
DO set boundaries on behavior before you go out and don't deviate beyond them.

IMO, I suggest a dinner in a quiet setting where you can talk and get to know each other. It gives you an opportunity to discover things like their careers, goals and plans, etc. You may pick up on moral/values/faith issues that will make or break the idea of a 2nd date. By figuring out the ease of the conversation by the end of the 1st date may clue you in on a possible 2nd date or not.

The first date with my hubby was spent talking for HOURS. We discovered that we could really communicate very easily and shared the same morals/values/goals and faith. It was wonderful! It was terribly romantic even though he didn't kiss me for 3 other dates. [:D]



3tulips -> RE: First date: do's and don'ts (4/14/2008 6:24:16 PM)

I agree with Blonde. No movie. You need to get to know each other. My friend's first date was perfect: they met for lunch and then, since the conversation was flowing, they went for a long walk at a park.

Do be a gentleman. Ask questions about her and her family to show you are interested in her life.



tiffywal -> RE: First date: do's and don'ts (4/14/2008 7:09:24 PM)

I would would have to agree with Blonde as well. Although my DH and I knew each other in high school we had alot of catching up to do. Our first real date was to the movies, but the next night we talked all night long face to face. He was himself, nothing more. I think it was the best date I've ever had.



Konstantinos -> RE: First date: do's and don'ts (4/14/2008 7:31:26 PM)

honestly the whole thing about dating annoys me.

just be yourself. dont do forced things. if she doesnt like you for being yourself forget about her.. for lack of another word.

i just find it too fake to go around doing what are considered "chick flick" romantic things if you dont actually feel comfortable doing them. in my opinion nothing is more romantic than when your girl finds you romantic and you dont even realize you are being romantic. because then you obviously truly mean what you say or do. ok so there may be even more romantic things than that but that was just an expression [;)]



LivingParadox -> RE: First date: do's and don'ts (4/14/2008 7:52:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RichLP

And: would it be a DO or a DON'T to say: "you looked great in the pictures I was given of you, but you look even better in person."


Depends on the pictures. [;)]

DO be yourself.
Don't overthink it.



Prairiehiker -> RE: First date: do's and don'ts (4/14/2008 10:22:04 PM)

-Be friendly regardless if there's any initial attraction or not
-Don't flatter. Be sincere in the way you compliment her.
-Be a gentleman. Learn to lead but always acknowledge her preferences
-Don't be arrogant, or obnoxious.
-Make yourself known. I hate coming home from a date and feeling like the man didn't want me to know anything about himself.
-If you're finding that you're more and more interested in her as the date goes on, then ask a lot of "getting to know you question." If you can, see if she possess any of the "non negotiable" characteristics.
-If you're not attracted to her, don't give any impression that you're interested in more dates



Ps103 -> RE: First date: do's and don'ts (4/14/2008 10:49:20 PM)

Lots of good suggestions already. One I would add is:

Do not talk about past relationships--not good or bad.



GrapeApe -> RE: First date: do's and don'ts (4/15/2008 12:08:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

-Don't be arrogant, or obnoxious.


... dangit.



fluffmonkey -> RE: First date: do's and don'ts (4/15/2008 10:29:39 AM)

Be yourself and Be Respectful.



preserved -> RE: First date: do's and don'ts (4/15/2008 2:17:07 PM)

Do be yourself
Do not bring up past relationship nor ask about the other persons past relationship
Do not get hung up on looks
Do show interest in the person not on how they look nor their occupation of how much money one makes
Do not talk about children on 1st date...(like what they are doing or not doing while you are out on a date)
Do not make phone calls to others while on a date
Do not assume beyong the date



deermousie -> RE: First date: do's and don'ts (4/15/2008 5:30:17 PM)

Being relaxed and being a good listener are tops in my book. Look out for her interests, but don't act like you're trying to get serious (or pick your nose. Just sayin'). [:D] Food tends to make people feel good.

My first date with the guy I later married was an easy hike in the mountains. Both of us being biologists, we played with the cadis fly larvae on the stream bottom, chased a lizard, and tried to identify plants along the way (hey, it worked for us, OK?). We just walked and talked and laughed and had a relaxing time doing what we liked to do. I was impressed.



TMeeks -> RE: First date: do's and don'ts (4/16/2008 2:34:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: deermousie

Being relaxed and being a good listener are tops in my book. Look out for her interests, but don't act like you're trying to get serious (or pick your nose. Just sayin'). [:D] Food tends to make people feel good.

My first date with the guy I later married was an easy hike in the mountains. Both of us being biologists, we played with the cadis fly larvae on the stream bottom, chased a lizard, and tried to identify plants along the way (hey, it worked for us, OK?). We just walked and talked and laughed and had a relaxing time doing what we liked to do. I was impressed.

That would definitely be my style, today, I think. Longwood Gardens would probably be a place for a great first date for slightly older couples. There are so many beautiful things to see and talk about, both indoors and out. And, they have a marvelous restaurant. The New York Botanical Gardens, for those in and around New York is another marvelously beautiful place.

And, guys... don't dismiis these ideas without trying them. There is a reason why perfumes mimic flowers! [:D]

Open air concerts would be another favorite, I think. But, you'd have to buy the flowers to get the same effect. [sm=halo.gif]

But, it's been a LONG time since I had to worry about dating.



jaimestarcross -> RE: First date: do's and don'ts (4/16/2008 4:45:39 PM)

Suggesting a movie is for something to do - not for getting to know someone.
I don't know about most people but I really don't want my first date to be a question and answer session.

When I (single) and went on first dates it was question & answer session - this isn't how I wanted to spend a first date.

It was like the guys wanted me to tell everything up front - funny when I was asked out the intention was either to go to a movie or a concert... when it was date time we ended up at some restaurant and he's asking question after question. Me hinting about what movie or concert we were attending didn't faze 'em!

A few questions is OK but don't do that the whole first date.



SD456 -> RE: First date: do's and don'ts (4/16/2008 6:07:12 PM)

DON'T try and kiss her on the first date. I mean, gosh, she still feels like she's a total stranger to you.

DO something fun and different than go to the movies. Can't converse in a movie.

DO try a morning or afternoon first date - works great! Go to a fun, busy farmer's market or fair. Have breakfast, take a hike, rent a canoe, etc.

DON'T talk about yourself the whole time.

DO ask her at least a few questions about her.

DO brush your teeth really well....dental hygiene is a real make or break thing.

DO be a gentleman. Women love it. Even the modern ones.

DO give her a small bunch of flowers (small, not gargantuan)....I know it's old fashioned, but I know I love that kind of thoughtfulness.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER bring up past relationships. I had a guy who was constantly telling me about past relationships and even mentioning all the recent moments when a girl would 'wink' at him or ask him out. Ughh.. sadly he was insecure and this was his attempt at making me feel like he had value by constantly showing me that others liked him. It ended up making me the insecure one and dumping him.



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