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anne_shirley -> Sincere Advice Needed from fellow brothers (4/14/2008 3:24:22 PM)
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Hello everyone! I am in a dilemma right now. I have a guy best friend, and we've been friends for almost six years now. Anyway, we're doing our graduate studies together in a university here in the West Coast. We used to be in the same office before we came here to do our graduate school. We met in a university in the East Coast (New York), and we've become friends since then.
To make a long story short, our relationship as friends has become very deep and close. We pray together, and we're together most of the times. People think we're a couple or even engaged. There was one time when he told me he liked me, and thought that he was falling in love with me. But he said he might not get married and that our relationship would not go beyond friendship. This was 3 years ago. He never had a GF. Mind you, he's a very decent, and nice fellow. The problem is we always end up together, either in the same company and now in the same university. I must admit that we did plan to do our grad studies here in UC berkeley together. We both got scholarships, though we're in a different program.
My problem is that it used to be okay that we just become friends. But right now this is no longer case. I am falling for him, and no matter how I try to kill the feeling, it never goes away. Because I know that he might never get married, I am really afraid what will happen to me if I stay here and study together with him. I have asked God for guidance and help.
One time I told him about my plan to short-cut my stay and just transfer to another university. I just reasoned out that I am having a hard time coping academically. This was a lie, because I am doing pretty well and getting good grades. He told me it wasn't good for me to think this way. Then I told him I am afraid that I might get unmarried if I stay in the same university with him, since we're always together. I also told him that I don't want to get too much attached to him, since it is not good since we're not a couple and he might find someone else. Well, I told him this a couple of times. A few times I told him about this, he held my hand. He said I shouldn't worry and just trust God. He said I shouldn't worry about other girls because there's no one. (He's an attractive man, BTW.) But he told me that if I am having a hard time emotionally, I should go and transfer to another school. He said it's my decision, and it is up to me what I think is best for me. He told me that of course it would be better if I finish my grad studies, but he then again told me that it is up to me. He also said that in God's time I will get married, and he held my hand again. Another time he said I should just trust God, and I will meet the right guy.
I am so confused. I don't know what to do. Sometimes, I know the he loves me. And there were a couple of times when I feel that he might be the one. But everytime I remember those times he told me he might never get married I feel paralyzed and trapped.
Please advise.
Anne SHirley
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