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JordanW -> Ladies A Question For You All (4/24/2008 2:29:08 AM)

OK, now I know I'm not the most attractive guy ever (look at my avatar) but I am a very nice and sweet person, the problem is, is that girl's won't give me the time of day due to how I look which is horrible. How can I change this?[:(]



rgod -> RE: Ladies A Question For You All (4/24/2008 6:51:43 AM)

There will be some women who will find you attractive - so don't count yourself out. Just be yourself, showcase you (your intelligence, compassion etc.) and your love of Christ. Enhance what you have. If you feel that you want to do something different about your appearance, ask some female friends (who have taste) for advice on hair cuts, glasses, and clothes that might compliment you best. A nice shirt, pair of slacks, cool haircut and nice glasses can do wonders for a man. But I'll tell you a secret. For most women it isn't really about looks as much as it is about confidence. Just you being willing to initiate will put you ahead of a lot of other Christian men, who are sitting back and waiting (some for good reasons). And ... for the woman that you might be interested in as a Christian, it will really be about your love for Christ and your integrity. And if you are nice and sweet as well ... she's hit the jackpot. There are women that will be interested in you for these very qualities. If a woman doesn't, then she's not the one.

rgod



MrsOliver -> RE: Ladies A Question For You All (4/24/2008 9:51:43 AM)

I agree with rgod. Get a make over!!! BE CONFIDENT in your gifts and talents.

Go into the men's section of a dept. store and ask the sales clerks to help you find things that make you look HOT! they will love the challenge and you will have fun with it as well!
Remember, you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you!



Szaftoo -> RE: Ladies A Question For You All (4/24/2008 9:58:00 AM)

Jordan, I see nothing wrong with how you look and suggest you stop feeling like you are "less attractive" or girls won't "give you the time of day because of your looks". Think positive and be proud of who you are. If it would make you feel more confident, take rgod's advice and make some subtle changes. All of us try and do what we feel will enhance what God gave us.
Be patient, there is a really nice girl who will love everything about, expecially that killer smile of yours.



SingHisPraise -> RE: Ladies A Question For You All (4/24/2008 10:36:02 AM)

Jordan,
You are God's child, He created you. And as such, you are perfect in His eyes. Just have confidence in yourself, don't try to be something you are not (women can spot that a mile away [;)]). I'm sure God has a perfect mate lined up for you in due time. (ie: His time) Trust in God, stay in the word and pray.

And I agree with RGod, showcase your intelligence and compassion. Play up your strengths, but don't show-off (if you know what I mean).

God Bless



Elena1030 -> RE: Ladies, A Question for You All (4/24/2008 11:22:03 AM)

Just going by your avatar...

* Take a photo w/ you standing up, somewhere other than at a desk near a computer. Try an outdoor photo (city, suburbs, country...wherever).
* Wear a dress shirt with a collar, in French blue. And black or grey slacks.
* Style your hair a little spikier. (The Caesar 'do is out of style now.)

You've got a nice smile, and you seem to show a friendly, warm energy. You look like a "good guy." Just take that up some notches to showcase yourself as a "good MAN" who has confidence.

Also... you're young. (I'm 14 years older than you are!) Your look is young. That's fine. I mean, you can't age yourself to be 35-looking. So... ease up on yourself too.


Some gals like "cuddly" guys. I know I like a little "cuddle" on a man.


Your biggest asset will be manly, godly confidence.



AlwaysR8chel -> RE: Ladies, A Question for You All (4/24/2008 11:58:08 AM)

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....... I have a different take on this.

Changing looks on the outside is one thing...

.... but I think a huge attractant (is that a word?[8D]) is a man's desire to walk a Godly talk.

For example: lately, the men I've been interested in have a sincere and willing heart for ministry. They are not afraid to move out of their comfort zone. They are not afraid to make phone calls and make plans and follow through with them.

For me... men are most desirable when I can see a true heart for God...

So what would I say?

....... get involved!! [;)]



stellaluna -> RE: Ladies, A Question for You All (4/24/2008 12:01:51 PM)

There's nothing wrong with how you look, but everyone can stand to update their look from time to time. That doesn't mean completely changing things or spending a lot of money. Consider a new haircut, glasses, maybe a few wardrobe additions. I do that at least once a year! [8D] (And so does my husband.)



ladyingrace1979 -> RE: Ladies, A Question for You All (4/24/2008 12:24:20 PM)

O.K. I hate to say it about my own gender but girls your age can be a bit shallow, O.K. a whole lot shallow. Some would rather date someone who is hot and a jerk than a nice guy who isn't hot. Go ahead and try a new look, it will make you feel better. I can tell you self confidence is very attractive. I don't mean turn into an arrogant jerk, but realize that you have as much or more to offer a young lady as anyone else. Like others have said take your time and be friends with girls first. It may take longer but the relationship will be better when you find that right woman.

By way of encouragement, my dh was just like you, a nice guy but not the hot guy on campus. We didn't meet until he was 29. We were friends for about a year and a half, dated for about a year and a half and have been happily married for almost 17 years. I am so very thankful that I didn't fall for the hot guy that treated me like his trophy date. There's someone out there waiting for you.

Kim Q
ps. I think you look just fine, you have a nice smile.



fluffmonkey -> RE: Ladies, A Question for You All (4/24/2008 12:34:37 PM)

Jordan, There is someone who will find you attractive, and like you for who you are, but you got to be yourself and you need to know that getting a lady is not about looks, attraction isn't just about looks... but women like a man who is confident with himself, and shows them respect. Someone who will share common interest with.



quote:

.. but I think a huge attractant (is that a word? ) is a man's desire to walk a Godly talk.

For example: lately, the men I've been interested in have a sincere and willing heart for ministry. They are not afraid to move out of their comfort zone. They are not afraid to make phone calls and make plans and follow through with them.


I agree, nothing more attractive then a Godly man.



JordanW -> RE: Ladies, A Question for You All (4/24/2008 2:34:06 PM)

Thanks guys for all the kinds words. Most of you are right, some new photos would probably help and a little self confidence may do the trick.[8D]



rgod -> RE: Ladies, A Question for You All (4/24/2008 3:41:20 PM)

quote:

Thanks guys for all the kinds words. Most of you are right, some new photos would probably help and a little self confidence may do the trick.


Also, I totally agree with fluffmonkey. You the big thing is to develop your character as a godly man. Photos and looks are nice, but your character is worth more than any photo.



JordanW -> RE: Ladies, A Question for You All (4/24/2008 4:14:55 PM)

That's true, and is also something I should work on! Thanks.



ta_mosquito -> RE: Ladies, A Question for You All (4/24/2008 4:20:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladyingrace1979

O.K. I hate to say it about my own gender but girls your age can be a bit shallow, O.K. a whole lot shallow. Some would rather date someone who is hot and a jerk than a nice guy who isn't hot. Go ahead and try a new look, it will make you feel better. I can tell you self confidence is very attractive. I don't mean turn into an arrogant jerk, but realize that you have as much or more to offer a young lady as anyone else. Like others have said take your time and be friends with girls first. It may take longer but the relationship will be better when you find that right woman.


This is what I was thinking.

FWIW, I married a beanpole. But he's the most wonderful beanpole ever! [8D]



MsSara -> RE: Ladies A Question For You All (4/25/2008 12:17:22 PM)

Jordan,
I honestly believe that to find the right person for us, we have got to be at a point in our lives with we are happy with ourselves, including our physical appearance. Otherwise, we tend to act differently than the person we really are to try to compensate for areas we feel we are lacking. Any sort of dishonesty (which I know would be completely unintentional) leading into a relationship is a recipe for disaster. My advice would be to continue growing closer to God and get yourself in shape. This may seem like horrible advice to someone and people may say that doesn't matter, but trust me, being your best you in ALL areas brings out your true personality. When I started changing my life and getting back to living for God, I began to take care of myself and appreciate this life, even if it means being alone for now. I've lost going on forty pounds and look and feel better than I ever have. I exude confidense in the person I am. I know I'm not perfect but I love God and I love the person He made me, and I try to uphold the best that He has in store for me. Since I've made these changes I've had all sorts of date invitations from people who I never thought would be interested in me. I haven't accepted any yet, because I realize I'm not spiritually mature enough at this point, but I know oneday God will put the right man in my life, and I will continue to grow closer to Him and be happy for the blessings I have. Its not selfish to get yourself together and just focus on you and God, because in the end that's all there will be, even if you do find Mrs Right tomorrow and have ten kids.
God bless and good luck!
Sara
<><



fluffmonkey -> RE: Ladies A Question For You All (4/25/2008 2:46:17 PM)

I agree that some girls around my age can be shallow, but I also know not all are.

I do agree with Sara
quote:

I honestly believe that to find the right person for us, we have got to be at a point in our lives with we are happy with ourselves, including our physical appearance. Otherwise, we tend to act differently than the person we really are to try to compensate for areas we feel we are lacking. Any sort of dishonesty


Maybe getting involved with a young adult group would be good way to meet some ladies and talk with them and see they want push you away or run away screaming.... Take time and list your good qualities and know that you have something to offer.



spade -> RE: Ladies A Question For You All (4/25/2008 7:16:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JordanW

OK, now I know I'm not the most attractive guy ever (look at my avatar) but I am a very nice and sweet person, the problem is, is that girl's won't give me the time of day due to how I look which is horrible. How can I change this?[:(]


I probably shouldn't say this, but you really don't look much different from a man I've been daydreaming about the last couple of months...

I'm about 10 years older than you, and I'll tell you that my friend hasn't had a lot of girlfriends. It likely has something to do with his "nerdy" look and personality, but it's also a reflection of a godly lifestyle where he didn't pursue lots of girls.

We've been friends for more than 5 years, and I'll tell you, it really isn't his (or any other guy's looks) that I'm attracted to. I love his heart for God and people, plain and simple.

My advice is to hang in there. You're just 18, so you've got plenty of time. Dating lots of girls isn't going to make you a better husband, so don't stress out over it. The others have made good suggestions about dressing up what you've got. And I agree with the general consensus - just make friends with people, and see what happens.



JordanW -> RE: Ladies A Question For You All (5/1/2008 6:15:37 PM)

Maybe I'll take a few pictures with me dressed up.[:D]



Focusing -> RE: Ladies A Question For You All (5/1/2008 6:54:36 PM)

quote:

For most women it isn't really about looks as much as it is about confidence.

Agreed!



nevaehs_gaze -> RE: Ladies A Question For You All (5/1/2008 8:24:42 PM)

I've always taken notice of the shy/quiet or at-first unattractive guys when they have a good sense of humor. Confidence is also key. [:)]



collie1 -> RE: Ladies A Question For You All (5/1/2008 9:59:18 PM)

Jordan, I read another post by you, not smoking will help you be more attractive to the ladies as well. I'm not meaning to slam smokers, but people who don't smoke tend to smell a lot less of cigarette smoke.



ladyamythist -> RE: Ladies A Question For You All (5/3/2008 11:40:56 AM)

Jordan,

There is nothing wrong with you. I think confidence and humor is what women like. Great ice-breaker. There are books out there that can help you in dealing with us women, and they'll tell you, who you are inside is what is important!



rgod -> RE: Ladies A Question For You All (5/7/2008 10:26:11 PM)

Jordan,

I like the new picture of you by the tree. Very nice!

rgod



Prairiehiker -> RE: Ladies A Question For You All (5/7/2008 10:35:35 PM)

Jordan, we're all shallow to a degree. Some just happens to be more than the other. The only man that I've ever loved is balding, and overweight. People often wondered what I saw in him. But during the height of my attraction for him, I thought he was the most attractive man on earth. You can drop Brad Pitt on my lap, and I'd still probably choose my ex. It was the confident, the kindness, the way we connected, the way he treated me. OF course, the initial attraction was based on confidence that's not arrogant.

True that you're not gonna have the following of Brad Pitt, but you really only need one girl/woman who really desires what's in your heart. Find that one girl and don't worry about the other million that doesn't want you. Guys who like to have many women swooning over them are really just insecure little boys who want their ego stroke anyway. Be better than that.

Be a Proverbs 1-30 type of man, and you'll find good woman.



stellaluna -> RE: Ladies A Question For You All (5/7/2008 10:58:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: collie1

Jordan, I read another post by you, not smoking will help you be more attractive to the ladies as well. I'm not meaning to slam smokers, but people who don't smoke tend to smell a lot less of cigarette smoke.

Yeah, I was just coming to tell you this. Quitting will also make you feel better about yourself and that attitude is attractive to others.



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