Question for Married people? (Full Version)

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Dirtyl3um -> Question for Married people? (4/29/2008 11:01:57 AM)

My question here is, how did you married people know when you had found the right person? Im sure you fell in love with them but, what im asking is how did you know its what God wanted for your life? I mean since God has a plan for everyones life, obviously he has a partner for you that he would have you be with. Im asking this because theres this girl that i love, and she feels the same way. I just have been praying and occasionally fasting over this and i was looking for some headway because if she isnt what God wants for me in my life, i would want to know that BEFORE it progresses anymore. I love this girl and i would never want to hurt her, and i just want to know if she is what God would have for me, and if shes not i would want to break it off asap. advice?



Auben -> RE: Question for Married people? (4/29/2008 11:14:07 AM)

My husband (then bf) asked me two questions which I thought were very wise.

Can you live without me?

Do we work better separately or together?

That made me stop asking the question 'do I love him?' Of course I did. He wasn't asking if I loved him. He was asking if he was so much a part of my life that I couldn't do anything other than be with him. He was also asking if we made a good team.

Answering those questions made the decision easy for me. God, who seemed mysteriously quiet when I was asking him about marriage, seemed to give my husband the right words to ease my heart.



pbaribeault -> RE: Question for Married people? (4/29/2008 12:17:14 PM)

quote:

I mean since God has a plan for everyones life, obviously he has a partner for you that he would have you be with.
Since I don't subscribe to this theory, I don't think I can adequately answer your question... I just thought you might like a nudge towards rethinking this kind of thinking... It might not be as 'obvious' as you seem to say.



deermousie -> RE: Question for Married people? (4/29/2008 12:52:27 PM)

I knew because he fit the criteria of God: he was a Christian, he wasn't already married, had a heart for God and he wasn't involved in sinful relationships. He had a godly reputation among people who had known him for a while and whom I had known for a while, including his pastor.

He also fit my criteria: he was about my age, was finished with his education, was of the same profession as me (biology teacher). He had a great sense of humor and had a kind heart.

And to top it off: he wanted to marry me. Cool!!! [:D] All the pieces were there, and there were no red flags.

We just celebrated 20 years of marriage. It hasn't been easy, but God has been in it since the beginning and He has made the difference. Praise Him forever for His goodness to us!



still4gvn -> RE: Question for Married people? (4/29/2008 9:41:09 PM)

what worked well for Auben may be different for others. I could live without dh (after all, some become widows) and we can't work on any project together without disagreeing. But we love each other, are happy and have been married 42 years.[:D]



Auben -> RE: Question for Married people? (4/30/2008 12:04:29 PM)

That's a different kind of 'live without.' Obviously one's heart won't stop beating if you aren't a couple; however, if you can continue as you are indefinately or walk away then you aren't ready for marriage.

Some people have happy marriages that don't work on a team level (they can't work together). While they can live happy and somewhat separate lives, I personally prefer a closer, more companionate marriage. If I couldn't work with my husband I would lose too much of the feeling of closeness which makes us a great couple. Together we are more than we are separately.



still4gvn -> RE: Question for Married people? (4/30/2008 12:56:13 PM)

auben: I think that is great.



keelgirl -> RE: Question for Married people? (5/3/2008 10:44:12 PM)

I believe that God plans for our lives and has a future mate for everyone he wants to be married, this is not popular among many Christians, I guess they have not read Jeremiah. My husband and I have the best marriage. I belive that we were truely ment to be married and every day we are in awe of how blessed we are. We have been married for four years and have a toddler, so we aren't totally newlyweds.
If you both are ready to get married, and have prayed about it and God has said "ok", and they match the criteria you have for your future mate ( making out a list of what you want in a mate is essential), and YOU believe there is no one else you would rather spend the rest of your life with, then there ya go.



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