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RE: Husband doesnt want kids - 5/6/2008 10:22:46 PM
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sharonjef2007
Posts: 1281
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
A human being's longing for a child is a very real feeling. It should never be taken lightly because it's inconvenient to the other partner.
A human being's desire to NOT have a child is also a very real feeling.
I stand by my advice, that right now this couple is not united in a decision or desire. They should, TOGETHER, pray about it and see where God leads them. Until they do that, more then likely they will not come together united regarding this issue. It is not about her desire to have children or his desire not to. It really is up to God and all about His will and plan for them anyhow...isn't it?
If she wants her husband to be open to the idea of having children and seeing her point of view, she owes him the very same respect regarding his point of view while they work this out. And it seems from her posts that while she is frustrated and really REALLY wanting a child, she is still respecting her husband.
Yeah, he was insensitive in his comment to her. But can you honestly say that you have NEVER said anything you wish you had not to your spouce? We can't burn him at the stake for one or two comments that were insensitive or in bad taste. What we can do is allow her a safe place to vent and to talk to people about this and we can pray for the couple. We should not be deamonizing the husband because he has a viewpoint that we don't understand.
< Message edited by sharonjef2007 -- 5/6/2008 10:31:18 PM >
_____________________________
my blog......I guess it is time for an update.......
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RE: Husband doesnt want kids - 5/6/2008 11:34:38 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 4878
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007
quote:
A human being's longing for a child is a very real feeling. It should never be taken lightly because it's inconvenient to the other partner.
A human being's desire to NOT have a child is also a very real feeling.
I stand by my advice, that right now this couple is not united in a decision or desire. They should, TOGETHER, pray about it and see where God leads them. Until they do that, more then likely they will not come together united regarding this issue. It is not about her desire to have children or his desire not to. It really is up to God and all about His will and plan for them anyhow...isn't it?
If she wants her husband to be open to the idea of having children and seeing her point of view, she owes him the very same respect regarding his point of view while they work this out. And it seems from her posts that while she is frustrated and really REALLY wanting a child, she is still respecting her husband.
Yeah, he was insensitive in his comment to her. But can you honestly say that you have NEVER said anything you wish you had not to your spouce? We can't burn him at the stake for one or two comments that were insensitive or in bad taste. What we can do is allow her a safe place to vent and to talk to people about this and we can pray for the couple. We should not be deamonizing the husband because he has a viewpoint that we don't understand.
I totally agree. Kinda shocking, eh, Sharon?
My husband only wants 2-3 kids, he is not of the QF mindset and has no desire to be. When I realized that this difference between us was beginning to breed resentment I took it to the Lord and basically said "God, you need to either change my heart, or his but I can't continue like this anymore" and whaddaya know? It was my heart that got changed.
I really don't like it when that happens, but God does have a plan for our lives and our ultimate goal has to be to seek Him and His plan.
Having children, IMO, is one of those areas of life where the "no" has to win.
_____________________________
Ryanne Gabriella Alexis born 8-22-07!
"No firebrands, or deadly arrows just a Springfield XD .40 with Tritium sights" Patriotism
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RE: Husband doesnt want kids - 5/8/2008 9:23:09 PM
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patiently
Posts: 6
Joined: 5/4/2008
Status: offline
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Hi everybody. My h is on a 6 day hunt, so Im alone. But, I have a book called 31 days of prayer, and its really helping me. Also, reading your posts help me alot!!! Thanks!!
Im being patient again. I lose my patience every now and then. I may look into the big bro and sister program. It would be fun, and maybe my h will see how much love a kid can give.
God has a wonderful plan for me, I just need to get my head out of the sand and learn to hear him!!
Thanks, again!!!
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RE: Husband doesnt want kids - 5/12/2008 12:30:35 AM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 784
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline
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You were forced to give up a child for adoption?
If I did read your post correctly, then have you come to terms with the heartbreak that caused you (being forced to give up a child)?
Can you find out any info about this child that was given up for adoption?
Your husband may enjoy children but doesn't want to be a full time parent yet because he enjoys the feeling of not being tied down and a child will require most of your attention/affection. I've seen women who became child centered and their marriages did suffer for it. A child doesn't ruin a marriage... it's the adults who ruin the marriage because they fail to honor each other and God.... set healthy boundaries.
God isn't punishing you for giving up a your child for adoption... there were moms in the bible who gave up their children also(Moses's mom - Samuel's mom for example).
It seems your focus is on the wrong thing... God is first and we are to be about His business - sharing the Good news of the Gospel with the Lost. Wanting a child isn't a bad thing but don't make it more important than reaching out to the unsaved people in your area. (I have to be reminded of this myself....
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.)
Your Father in Heaven knows your wants and needs - give Him this desire to have a child with your husband and leave it there. Trust God and submit to His will for your life.
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