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RE: He says/She says for Singles (May Game Thread) - 5/5/2008 10:38:08 PM
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AngelInWaiting1983
Posts: 4143
Joined: 6/8/2007
From: At home and its great!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: utilityfielder
Would you ladies like to be surprised by your husband planning a weekend trip?
Most definitely!
_____________________________
Reflecting with Terri "I will sing unto the Lord as long as I live: I will sing praise to my God while I have my being." Psalm 104:33
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RE: He says/She says for Singles (May Game Thread) - 5/5/2008 10:41:14 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3853
Joined: 3/30/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: utilityfielder
Would you ladies like to be surprised by your husband planning a weekend trip?
Yes!
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: He says/She says for Singles (May Game Thread) - 5/5/2008 10:43:33 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3853
Joined: 3/30/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
OK ladies here's a tough one.
When are we just supposed to listen to your problems and when are we supposed to fix your problems?
That is a tough one and probably varies from woman-to-woman as well as problem-to-problem. Best course of action would be to ask her.
Question: Why do men like to compete with each other?
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: He says/She says for Singles (May Game Thread) - 5/5/2008 10:47:53 PM
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Cute-N-Sassy
Posts: 6239
Joined: 5/2/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
OK ladies here's a tough one.
When are we just supposed to listen to your problems and when are we supposed to fix your problems?
When she asks "can you just do this for me", you're pretty safe in assuming she wants you to fix it. Otherwise, like Esther said, it's 90% listening while we work out our own problems. You can throw in a question or two -- put on your counselor hat and listen attentively to what she's saying.
We're not just looking for someone who will fix our problems... we're looking for relationship. Talking=relationship.
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RE: He says/She says for Singles (May Game Thread) - 5/5/2008 10:51:26 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 840
Joined: 12/11/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
OK ladies here's a tough one.
When are we just supposed to listen to your problems and when are we supposed to fix your problems?
Often times, us ladies really just want to talk an dbe heard and know that someone cares about us. If our men listen attentively, we can normally calm down enough to be able to think clearly and find solutions to our problems. However, if was say, take out the garbage, or fix the drain, that's a sign that we have a problem that we want you to fix.
I have no question to ask yet.
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RE: He says/She says for Singles (May Game Thread) - 5/5/2008 10:52:58 PM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 3136
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: The Hundred Acre Wood
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
OK ladies here's a tough one.
When are we just supposed to listen to your problems and when are we supposed to fix your problems?
This is how Hubby and I defined it;
When I finish the complaint, If I stop and make eye contact. It's a pretty good indication I want help. Especially if it is a pleading look.
If I vent, walk around, make dinner, vent, do something else, vent, make no eye contact other than the occasional glance to see if you are listening. I just want to vent and help will not be welcome. When I am done, a hug with no offers of help is usually welcome.
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Nadine
"It's like every thing good collided today" quote from my 8yr old daughter
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RE: He says/She says for Singles (May Game Thread) - 5/5/2008 11:31:33 PM
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kj88il
Posts: 1366
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: IL (NW Central)
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: followtheLeader
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
OK ladies here's a tough one.
When are we just supposed to listen to your problems and when are we supposed to fix your problems?
This is how Hubby and I defined it;
When I finish the complaint, If I stop and make eye contact. It's a pretty good indication I want help. Especially if it is a pleading look.
If I vent, walk around, make dinner, vent, do something else, vent, make no eye contact other than the occasional glance to see if you are listening. I just want to vent and help will not be welcome. When I am done, a hug with no offers of help is usually welcome.
LOVE THAT!!
_____________________________
Kimberly
Shifing Gears With Kimberly
Prov 27:19 As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man.
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RE: He says/She says for Singles (May Game Thread) - 5/6/2008 5:38:20 AM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 13083
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: followtheLeader
quote:
ORIGINAL: kj88il
quote:
ORIGINAL: followtheLeader
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
OK ladies here's a tough one.
When are we just supposed to listen to your problems and when are we supposed to fix your problems?
This is how Hubby and I defined it;
When I finish the complaint, If I stop and make eye contact. It's a pretty good indication I want help. Especially if it is a pleading look.
If I vent, walk around, make dinner, vent, do something else, vent, make no eye contact other than the occasional glance to see if you are listening. I just want to vent and help will not be welcome. When I am done, a hug with no offers of help is usually welcome.
LOVE THAT!!
It really was great when we finally figured this out. It can be a serious issue until you do. 
I am finding that when I am sharing with Jim, I just want to share with him - but I see the wheels turning with how to fix it. Right now, since we don't interact all that much (yet), it's not that big of a problem, but I do see where it will become one until it's addressed directly. All these ideas are GREAT! He's SO typically a man in this instance. LOLOLOL
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!!!!!!!
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RE: He says/She says for Singles (May Game Thread) - 5/6/2008 7:18:53 AM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 7133
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
OK ladies here's a tough one.
When are we just supposed to listen to your problems and when are we supposed to fix your problems?
If it's a relational problem that doesn't involve you, just listen.
If you're the problem, fix it!
If it's going to involve tools, getting dirty or money, fix it!
_____________________________
When I have a little money I buy Books.
If any left over I buy food and clothes.
Erasmus
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RE: He says/She says for Singles (May Game Thread) - 5/6/2008 7:45:45 AM
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.Pammy
Posts: 4020
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Mechanicsburg, PA, USA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
OK ladies here's a tough one.
When are we just supposed to listen to your problems and when are we supposed to fix your problems?
My two cents about this one. I like Kimberly's post on it. I think it's important to remember there's something between listening and fixing. And that's supporting.
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Pam
<< my mother
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RE: He says/She says for Singles (May Game Thread) - 5/6/2008 9:31:07 AM
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rgod
Posts: 357
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
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Hi everyone,
Great thread!
quote:
ORIGINAL: PreserveWildlife
Many times when I've overheard a woman's conversation with another (usually in the kitchen at work, in the hallway as I pass by, etc) they are usually sharing intimate details of their personal life. Why? And what happened to discretion?
I don't know if I can speak for all women, but I've noticed that women tend to talk about relationships and personal issues a lot more than men. This is the content of many of our conversations. And having a more personal conversation helps us to bond with one another. Although we are in the workplace, with a good friend, we'll share personal things. Now, I personally don't share much in the workplace because as they say "the wall has ears" and that is exactly how gossip gets started.
quote:
ORIGINAL: trainfan
I thought of one.
What is the deal with women who get all dressed up in a dress or skirt and nice top and then wear tennis shoes and ankle high white socks?
Either she is on her way to work and she has to walk a lot, she is in her office but sits behind a desk most of the time so she doesn't bother to change out of them (there are probably a pair of shoes under her desk or in a drawer in case it is needed), or her dress code is lax in her company and she can do it. Heels have a tendency to wear down or get scuffed. Concrete is especially murderous on them. So to save money (having to buy new shoes or get them reheeled), she might decide to save the tennis shoes for the sidewalk. If she wears them all day she might have forgotten her dress shoes. Whatever the scenario is - her feet will probably hurt if she puts on standard pumps and she wants to avoid the pain - so she has opted for the less fashionable tennis shoe.
However, there are some very nice, presentable, comfortable shoes that can be worn with a suit. Buying shoes with a lower heel, a broader heel, or choosing a very conservative wedge (depending on the dress code of the office), or a nice cute pair of slides (which can be very comfortable on a more casual day), or flats can be more comfortable than the standard pump, but still fashionable.
Gee ... I sound like a catalog. Next question.
quote:
quote:
ORIGINAL: utilityfielder
OK I will go for it:
When a woman asks a guy how she looks in an outfit, does she want an honest answer?
I feel bad for men when I hear people ask this question. It can be a minefield. The answer is, sometimes we want an honest answer. Like if I were pregnant or were already sensitive about my weight, and I asked this question, I wouldn't want him to say "How do you look in that dress? Heavy baby." In that case, "I don't think that outfit does you justice" would work pretty well. Of course, if we are in the store and I haven't bought the outfit yet, then a diplomatic response could be "I like the last one you tried on better" or "I don't like the way this hangs on you, maybe something else" or something like that.
I love the answer that collie1 gave (great)! Also, if he can keep the answer focused on the clothes and not on my body that makes "bad" news easier to take.
OK - my question is ....
Why do many men not like to ask for directions when they are lost?
< Message edited by rgod -- 5/6/2008 9:37:47 AM >
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RE: He says/She says for Singles (May Game Thread) - 5/6/2008 9:47:20 AM
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John_O
Posts: 6949
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rgod
Why do many men not like to ask for directions when they are lost?
Because men are never lost. We are just exploring alternative routes.
(Honestly I can't speak for most men on this issue. I never get lost. (I have an excellent sense of direction and spacial relationships) I do get turned around sometimes and then I will stop, ask, and get reoriented.)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: He says/She says for Singles (May Game Thread) - 5/6/2008 3:52:19 PM
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jazzlvr
Posts: 66
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
Question: Why do men like to compete with each other?
Just because it's fun.
How boring would a football game be if everyone was on the same team?
Here's a question: Why do women go to the ladies room in groups?
< Message edited by Jazzlvr -- 5/6/2008 4:16:18 PM >
_____________________________
Larry
Isaiah 55:8-9
8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. declares the Lord
9 As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
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RE: He says/She says for Singles (May Game Thread) - 5/6/2008 3:54:35 PM
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jazzlvr
Posts: 66
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
Why do many men not like to ask for directions when they are lost?
I have no clue why some guys refuse to stop and ask directions. I'd rather stop and ask for directions than look stupid wandering around pretending I knew what I was doing.
_____________________________
Larry
Isaiah 55:8-9
8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. declares the Lord
9 As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
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