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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 5/1/2007 8:57:54 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4306
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Prayer Request
~ * ~
I know that some of you read my blog but don't read my PFY thread... so I'm re-posting a jail thing here.........
~ * ~
Jail was tough last night....
I only hit 2 wards...
14 was the first and the worst...
The women in there are like a can of refridgerated biscuits left out on the counter... and almost ready to explode.
I met one of the girls in her cell... she was crying... her pain was so strong that she couldn't even hear me... so I just prayed for her... and let her talk and cry.
The Bible study I took in was about anger... We didn't even make it through the entire thing... several women were so very tearful... a couple had to get up and leave the table... Their living circumstances have much to be desired in that ward... coupled with anger issues being brought out in the open.... it was so very difficult.
I was hugging the girls before I left. One of the ladies just clung to me and cried and cried... and so did I.... I didn't let go of her until her tears were gone.
Please... please pray for the ladies in Ward 14.... specifically Barbara, Michelle, Shasta, Deb, & Beth.
If you do sincerely pray... it would be wonderful if you would drop me a quick note... so I can tell the ladies that others are praying for them, too.
I hope you guys have a wonderful day....
Love always,
Rachel
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 5/4/2007 9:08:36 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4306
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The White Bus
I pass our county jail on the way home from work. It is only one block away from my office.
As I passed the jail last night... there was the 'prison run' bus waiting to turn onto the street. It's a big school bus with a bad, white paint job. The windows are boarded up and there is meshed wire over the boards. No way to see in or out... the passengers are at the mercy of the driver for air.
My heart felt heavy... I have no idea who was on that bus... but I can be sure that a few of my ladies are gone... headed towards prison.
Prison ministry is difficult sometimes... imagine the 'empty nest' syndrome... again and again... or giving your child away not knowing if or when you will see your child again... or giving away a pet- not sure if it will be treated well by it's new owners...
None of these word pictures can even describe how my heart feels....
I claim Romans 8.28 and move on... befriending new ladies... praying for ones who've moved on... because it's exactly what God wants me to do.
Yours in Christ,
Always,
Rachel
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 5/8/2007 8:58:32 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4306
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The Long Way Home…
The story of the prodigal son… it’s a familiar story which is found in Luke 15 starting at verse 11.
A man had two sons. The youngest son demanded his half of the man’s estate.
An estate is proof of a life time of hard work and diligent savings. An estate is money, trinkets, and treasures carefully collected and saved for the security of future generations.
The father so loved his son, he did as the son asked and gave the son half of the estate.
The son went out and spent his money recklessly. He bought whatever he wanted as if the money would never run out. He lived the wild life… while his father stayed at home, wondering if his son was dead or alive.
It’s a good story. A good example of how parents are encouraged to love their children. A story told by Jesus…
My thoughts…
The father didn’t know if the son had a change of heart as he returned home. The father didn’t know if the son would ask for forgiveness. The father didn’t know what would happen next. The father was a faith-walker and accepted his son with open arms.
There is never a line in the story where the father indicates expectations of his son.
“Well, son, you can come back home if you start paying rent.”
There is never a line in the story where the father displays his disappointment with the son.
“See what happens when you live selfishly and carelessly?”
There is never a line in the story where the father demands anything of the son.
“Why don’t you get cleaned up… then we’ll talk about this.”
The bottom line… the father loved his son so much, he didn’t care if the son had changed. He didn’t know in advance if the son had come to his senses before coming home. The father was willing to accept his son as he was- no holds barred.
I agree that there must be healthy boundaries between parents and children… but when it all comes down to the heart of the issue:
The father dearly loved his son...
...even while he took the long way home.
Love always,
Rachel
"So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.
Luke 15:20 NASB
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 5/22/2007 9:05:23 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
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Yesterday I spent the day with a very close friend.
It was the day she and her sisters last saw their father...
...... they will not see him again until they join him in heaven.
This was my private journal entry from my day spent with them... I'm thankful they opened up their lives to me... I'm thankful for all I learned about family and love...
.... and life.
~ * ~
May 21, 2007
9.38 pm
Witness…
Today…
I was witness.
The honoring of a great man.
His life… live unconventionally… heartily… full of unconditional love.
His life was not defined by his job…
It was not defined by his income…
His life was defined by his journey with Christ and the unconditional love he showed towards others.
… years of sacrifice so others could have what he had not.
The evidence of his excellence was visible in his seven beautiful daughters.
Each… uniquely delightful… wonderful… attractive – strong in heart.
Each daughter filled with the same joy which lived in their father.
Each… loved so dearly by him.
… I was witness
… to the honoring of a great man.
Love always,
Rachel
~ * ~
"Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works,
and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”
Matthew 5:16
NASB
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 5/29/2007 10:42:18 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
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You never know...
I took my girls to a local 'beach'… it's actually a small lake about fifteen minutes south of my house. The beach is actually finely crushed gravel, the water is dirty… but we've been going there since my girls were babies.
After an afternoon of fun in the sun, we decided to head home.
As I was waiting behind a line of cars to pull out of the parking lot, I heard someone call my name.
"Rachel! Is that you?"
It was a pretty blonde girl accompanied by her husband carrying her beautiful little boy.
"Yes!" I said. I wasn't sure who she was. "Remind me… how do I know you?"
She hesitated… and I knew. Not wanting to cause her any embarrassment in front of my children, I said… "Oh yeah! I met you at that one place!" meaning jail.
She a smile of relief crossed her face… "Yes. My name is Michelle. Do you remember me?"
Michelle is free. She is doing well and making better choices. She is working a steady job and helping to make a better life for her son… She is a mommy again.
… looking back – she can see that God never abandoned her. He had a plan for her… she is loved and cherished. She is a new creation… she is happy.
It was wonderful to see her son and her husband. They were two people we prayed for while Michelle was living behind the walls. It was good to see God's faithfulness and provision for the family.
… sometimes you never know what happens when they leave jail.
Sometimes – God gives you glimpses…
Love always,
Rachel
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 6/13/2007 12:06:51 PM
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AlwaysR8chel
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Pyromania....
~ * ~ Rachel... she is a strange creature. She's intense, she is a fast mover, she loves freely, she's witty... and she's a pyromaniac. What? A pyromaniac?! ........... Rachel burns bridges. ~ * ~
Throughout my entire dating life... I've loved... and I've been burned. It's in my character to burn back in my own way by burning my bridges.
Just yesterday, something happened to me....
I once again burned a bridge... it was not just any old bridge... it was a bridge to the coolest guy I'd ever met. Someone I deeply respected and cared for.
I was sitting at my desk... thinking about what I had just done... and the Holy Spirit tapped on my shoulder...
"Yes Holy Spirit?" I said....
"Wanna try something different in your life?" the Comforter asked me.
I weighed the question in my mind... my heart check proved void of peace and the heat from the last flame throwing job was hot on my computer keyboard.
"Uuuummmm.... okay," I said, "it's gotta be better than what's going on in my heart now."
"Blow out the flame."
"Blow out the flame?" I didn't understand why.... yet my heart was in turmoil at the sight of smoke rising through the air from my last email.
"Blow out the flame."
Oh great! Unchartered territory! I thought to myself.... What I just did isn't bringing me peace.... why not?
I headed to my keyboard to compose a new email.... It went something like this:
quote:
Dude.
I make me soooo crazy!!!!
(maybe I make you crazy, too...)
So I'm sitting here at my desk... shuffling paperwork, thinking about jail tonight... and how I'd like to tell you about it....
.... and the thought hits me.
Why can't I be your friend?
Why does it always have to be so serious?
Why would it hurt so bad if you found another girlfriend?
(especially if I truly wanted you to be happy)
So... ummm....
Is it okay if I just lay all this down at Jesus' feet?
Is it okay if I accept a new 'Rachel' change in my life?
Will you be my friend? (no strings attached)
Rach
My heart was washed over in peace as I hit the 'send' button. Yes... this is unchartered territory... but it's the right territory.
Life is an adventure.... blow out the match.
Love always,
Rachel
~ * ~
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another,
even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
"By this all men will know that you are My disciples,
if you have love for one another."
John 13.34-35
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 7/2/2007 11:41:15 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
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Weekend of Champions Snapshot…
They were hurting hearts disguised as strong young men. They were unsure of the future yet unwilling to admit to feelings of being afraid and alone. They were filled with pride. They were young men living in juvenile detention units… and they were lost.
I met a young man named Corry. He never knew what it was like to live in a loving home with two parents. Corry has six brothers and sisters… each sibling has a different father. Corry’s life is filled with abusive adults. He has memories of abuse starting at age three. Corry is now so used to pain that he cannot sleep at night unless he inflicts pain upon himself. Corry can’t imagine life without pain. The thought is too scary for him. Corry rejected the love of Christ I offered him.
I met Tyler. He was seventeen years old. He had already prayed with one of my teammates… so I took the opportunity to just stay and talk with him. I didn’t preach at him, I was just there – making small talk, laughing with him and getting to know him. He had a hungry spirit. Before we parted ways I said, “Tyler, I believe in you. I believe you are able to identify the parts of your life which aren’t working… I believe you have the strength, courage and power to do what you need to do to change you life. I will be praying for you for at least a few weeks – maybe more.” He was the only one who made sure to seek eye contact with me and wave goodbye as the volunteers and I exited the juvenile unit.
Donald was shy… He had been at his unit before. He has bipolar and anger issues. I sat next to him as we listened to McCoy McLemore speak. I could tell the Holy Spirit was working on his heart. He was quiet, looking down, his face was flushed and he was swallowing hard. Donald was ready to try something different in his life. Donald asked Jesus into his heart for the very first time… Donald is fourteen.
Donald has parents who live together… Donald has a better chance of making it out of the juvenile system than many of the others. My prayers are with Donald and his parents. I’m praying they will have the desire to take him to church when he is released this summer. I’m praying for healing of Donald’s body… and for wisdom for his doctors. Mostly… I’m praying that Donald will have an unquenched thirst for Jesus.
This is just a small snapshot of my weekend. So many encouraging moments happened – there is no way for me to share them all with you. My heart and mind will be processing this weekend for days to come.
Please consider joining my prison ministry through prayer… I was blessed to spend time with these young men:
Corry
Rob
Tyler
Michael
DeAndre
Xavier
Uriah
Richard
DeAndre M.
Love always,
Rachel
Luke 15:4-7 NASB
"What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture and go after the one which is lost until he finds it?
"When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing.
"And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!'
"I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 7/23/2007 4:53:26 PM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4306
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Integrity
Psalms 41:1-13 NASB
[1] For the choir director. A Psalm of David. How blessed is he who considers the helpless; The LORD will deliver him in a day of trouble.
[2] The LORD will protect him and keep him alive, And he shall be called blessed upon the earth; And do not give him over to the desire of his enemies.
[3] The LORD will sustain him upon his sickbed; In his illness, You restore him to health.
[4] As for me, I said, "O LORD, be gracious to me; Heal my soul, for I have sinned against You."
[5] My enemies speak evil against me, "When will he die, and his name perish?"
[6] And when he comes to see me, he speaks falsehood; His heart gathers wickedness to itself; When he goes outside, he tells it.
[7] All who hate me whisper together against me; Against me they devise my hurt, saying,
[8] "A wicked thing is poured out upon him, That when he lies down, he will not rise up again."
[9] Even my close friend in whom I trusted, Who ate my bread, Has lifted up his heel against me.
[10] But You, O LORD, be gracious to me and raise me up, That I may repay them.
[11] By this I know that You are pleased with me, Because my enemy does not shout in triumph over me.
[12] As for me, You uphold me in my integrity, And You set me in Your presence forever.
[13] Blessed be the LORD, the God of Israel, From everlasting to everlasting. Amen and Amen.
Sometimes it feels like the world is against us. Animosity seems to strike at each corner we turn. It seems nothing we do is right, nothing we say is important and snide comments made behind our backs feel like a knife in the heart.
As I write this, I realize that the world is against us… there will always be a struggle between the light and darkness until the glorious day when we find ourselves in the physical presence of Jesus.
An important thing to do today is to step back and look at the bigger picture of our lives. It’s not really our immediate circumstances that are causing us trouble. Animosity is a result of the struggle we can’t see behind the scenes – the battle between light and darkness.
I invite you to a challenge. Hang on to your Christ given integrity when you are experiencing difficult times with others.
What is integrity? Integrity means clinging to honesty, purity and good character when others tempt you to act differently. Integrity is the way of Jesus.
If you fail to walk in integrity today – know there is a new day dawning tomorrow and you will have a new opportunity to try again.
Love always,
Rachel
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 7/30/2007 10:35:36 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4306
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Champions for Life
Cleveland, OH
I spent the last couple of days in a women’s prison in Cleveland, OH. Almost 600 women live there. They had the opportunity to attend several shows orchestrated just for them. They saw many performers who were carrying out a mission of one mind – to share the love, mercy and forgiveness of Christ.
I had divine one-on-one appointments with 14 women and I shook the hands and smiled at countless others. There is no way to measure the true impact my presence had on the lives I connected with – but none of this is about me. My continual prayer was “Empty me out, Lord. Let me shine You today.”
........ and the LORD shined again and again.
These are the names of the women I spoke and prayed with. Please pray for each of them if the Lord lays that burden on your heart:
Tammy
Leah
Wendy
Tiffany
Debra
Teresa
Melissa
Patricia
Loretta
Caprice
Breanna
Lisa
Jessica
Beverly
A sincere thanks to all of you who pray for me as I walk through my life of prison ministry.
Love always,
Rachel
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 8/7/2007 2:20:59 PM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4306
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.
.
.
...... I've made an executive decision.
My time here on CrossWalk has come to an end.
I'm thankful for all the fun and laughter, the healing and peace, and I'm even thankful for some of the heart-ache I've experienced here.
Those of you who are closest to me already know where to find me.
I will check pm's for about a week.
My prayers are for continued blessings to all my friends.
Love always,
Rachel
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 11/13/2007 2:44:39 PM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4306
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Much Better
I’ve had a wonderful and much needed break. I’m thankful for the few friends who have kept in touch with me during my hiatus from CrossWalk.
What have I been doing while I was gone?
I’ve…
… followed my oldest daughter through her marching band competitions far enough to see her shout with victory as the band place fourth in State.
… taken my girls to Lake Michigan several times.
… changed churches.
… become more involved in my new church.
… visited jails and prisons in different states.
… prayed with women in my local jail.
… went on a few dates.
… spent more time alone.
… spent more time with my girls.
… learned that my job will be ending in June, 2008.
… appreciated relationships more.
… worried about life less.
I am entirely blessed… feeling more loved than ever… and I am so grateful and thankful for my life.
Blessings, my friends.
Love always,
Rachel
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 11/16/2007 9:51:04 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
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The Test
Genesis 22:2-3 NASB
[2] He said, "Take now your son, your only son, whom you love, Isaac, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I will tell you."
[3] So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him and Isaac his son; and he split wood for the burnt offering, and arose and went to the place of which God had told him.
God tested Abraham. He didn’t announce to Abraham that he was going to be tested. God just tested him.
Take now your son, your only son, whom you love… It is so easy for us to give God most of what we hold close to us. It is difficult to give Him what is most dear to us. Abraham’s one and only son with his wife, Sarah, was born when he was one hundred years old. He waited almost an entire lifetime for his son, Isaac.
Imagine the love he had for his son. What joy he must have experienced as his son grew. Now try to imagine the possible grief and confusion Abraham must’ve felt from God’s request: offer him there as a burnt offering…
Why does God test us? Is it for His benefit? I don’t think so. God already knows the outcome. He knows the outcome even before we start the test.
I believe tests from God are proof to us… proof of our quality of character.
The key to passing a test from God is obedience and faith. God told Abraham, Take now your son... and Abraham obeyed. They were up and on their way to Mt. Moriah bright and early the next morning.
The hardest part about tests is not the initial obedience, but keeping the faith. Abraham kept the faith. He had so much faith in God, he was ready to carry through with sacrificing his one and only son.
Genesis 22:10 NASB
[10] Abraham stretched out his hand and took the knife to slay his son.
Abraham was ready to strike the fatal blow… and God saw his heart. God knew that Abraham would do anything for God. Abraham had complete and unfaltering faith in God.
We read on to find out that Abraham is told not to kill his own son. Instead, God provided a ram to take the Isaac’s place on the alter.
Abraham passed the test.
Beloved, consider this – Could the stressful circumstances in your life possibly be a test from God? I encourage you to pray about it… ask God what He wants you to completely give to Him.
Know that when God tests us, it’s because He is up to something bigger than we can imagine.
Love always,
Rachel
Examine me, O LORD, and try me;
Test my mind and my heart.
- David
Psalms 26:2 NASB
Life application:
In your own words, what is a test from God?
Read Exodus 16:4.
What was the test?
What information do we learn from the test?
Circle the end result of testing in this verse:
Deuteronomy 8:16 NASB
[16] "In the wilderness He fed you manna which your fathers did not know, that He might humble you and that He might test you, to do good for you in the end.
What does 2 Corinthians 13:5 say about tests?
On Your Own: Journal about a test.
o Can you remember a time when you knew God was testing you?
o What was the situation?
o What did you learn about yourself from the test?
o Did you pass it?
(Remember this: We don’t always pass our tests the first time. Sometimes we must take them again and again. God doesn’t settle for less than an ‘A’… anything less is a foothold for the enemy.)
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 12/6/2007 11:19:08 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4306
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Love Never Fails
This year seems to be gently falling to a close.
If you truly know me… than you will remember that I work on an issue every year with Jesus. You can read about my past years by clicking this link.
I know several of you have pm’d me with the intentions of doing the same. I pray your year with Jesus has been fruitful. I’d love to hear about your adventures as well.
…
This year… I worked on the issue of love.
Love has always been a difficult thing for me… understanding it, living it… making it a part of my everyday life.
I grew up neglected – so my views on love were very skewed.
Jesus knew what I needed in order to learn about love… He took away any possibility of a romantic relationship. Any romantic relationships I tried to pursue ended… not bitterly so, but I knew in my heart that trying to pursue them was wrong.
This year… I learned to love. I learned that love is perfected through Christ… and now I’m a walking love gush.
I am feeling more loved than I have at any time in my life… I wake to songs which Jesus sings over me in the dark hours of the night. I find holy kisses in the sunrise and laughter in the simplest of situations. I find hugs which make my heart want to burst… and I even find love in my tears.
I find my conversations with Him filled with joy…
Most of all, I find that He flows out of me like a river… ready to quench the thirst of the lost.
My words will never express the completion my soul has found in Christ… knowing that He knows me best makes a secret smile dance on my lips.
I’m still not in a romantic relationship…. but I feel I’m ready. More than ever before.
I’m thankful for this year… it was filled with every season… it was just for me.
The last thing I've observed about love....
I met someone who is not afraid to sign his emails with “Love, _____." I'm sure he signs them that way for everyone. The very first email I got from him was signed that way… and he continues to sign them that way.
What did I learn? He is not afraid to love. He is not afraid of how others will perceive his closing… he is not afraid to shine the light of Jesus.
Me neither.
Love always,
Rachel
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God;
and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
1 John 4:7-8 NASB
Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
No one has seen God at any time;
if we love one another, God abides in us,
and His love is perfected in us.
1 John 4:11-12 NASB
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 1/24/2008 1:04:34 PM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4306
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Life Moves On
My father passed away January 3rd, 2008.
I loved and still love my father dearly. I know exactly where he is... I look forward to seeing him again.
The grief process is different for all people... these are just some thoughts I have concerning my grieving process.
.....
Grief is...
… friends wanting to see me cry.
… friends telling me I need to cry more.
… friends feeling uncomfortable when I cry and wanting me to stop.
… me not crying.
… the twist in my heart when I called my dad’s cell phone and heard his voice on the voice mail.
… small moments of private sadness.
… an accidental thought which wonders where Dad is and when he’s coming home.
… a country music day.
… slowing down.
… accepting more… expecting less.
… living for the moment.
… embracing hope.
… joy as laughter bounces across the kitchen table and a tear drop forges a path down my cheek.
Love always,
Rachel
But as for me, I will hope continually,
And will praise You yet more and more.
Psalms 71:14 NASB
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 3/4/2008 10:02:32 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4306
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Go.
.
.
.
.
.
......... I'm headed to Huntsville, Tx.
.... a prison ministry opportunity.
There will be almost 800 volunteers... we will be divided up into SEVERAL groups and heading into MANY jails and prisons.
I love traveling... I love hooking up with other friends who have the same passion I do...
I love losing myself and completely relying on the LORD.
...... go ye into all the world.
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 3/14/2008 1:06:20 PM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4306
Joined: 4/11/2005
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The Power of a Blessing…
My brain has been chewing on the topic of blessings for the last month.
I first heard the message, The Power of a Father’s Blessing, from Bill Glass, founder of Champions for Life. In the past year, I’ve heard it a couple of times. While I was in Texas last week, I heard it again for the third time.
Mr. Glass reasons there are thousands of people incarcerated because of the breakdown of the family unit. He also reasons that the breakdown is caused by children missing out on the blessings of their parents, specifically fathers. He cites the story of Jacob stealing Esau’s blessing in Genesis 27:30–38 as an example.
I stood in the back of a room filled with a few hundred lady inmates. They were silent, attentive…soaking up what Mr. Glass had to say. I stood quietly with other prison ministry volunteers waiting for our cue to share Christ with the ladies individually.
“A blessing looks like this,” he said, “hold your children close, look into their eyes and say, I love you. You are terrific. You belong to me.”
The words burned deep into my heart for the first time. I found myself searching my past for my father’s blessing… I can’t remember receiving an unconditional blessing from my father.
“How many of you have had the blessing of your father? Could you please raise your hand?” Mr. Glass continued. Not one lady inmate raised a hand. I couldn’t raise my hand, either.
I realized how missing the blessing of my father at a young age affected my life. I didn’t feel like I belonged to my family. I felt the opposite – my life directly reflected my feelings. I was, and maybe still am to a degree, searching to ‘belong’ to someone.
Today I realize how important it is to stand in the gap for a missing father in my small family… to take each of my girls aside, and bless them – unconditionally.
My heart aches to hear the words, “Rachel, I love you. You are terrific. You belong to me.”
Maybe I will never hear those loving and accepting words from a man here on this earth… but they have been said many times – on the other side of heaven.
Love always,
Rachel
He shall receive a blessing from the LORD
And righteousness from the God of his salvation.
Psalms 24:5
NASB
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 3/25/2008 10:02:07 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4306
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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One Step...
We are moving.
Me, my girls... my mother.
My mother has been diligently working to downsize her household in order to be able to efficiently move. She's been giving away my father's books, sorting through his clothes and giving them away or sending them to Goodwill.
Every time she completes a task - I feel like she's taken us all one step away from my father.
Yesterday, she asked me to go get my father's cherished Suburban. It's a big truck. My father loved driving it. My mother wants to sell it.
I drove it from the mechanic's shop to her house. I choked back the tears as I drove....
.... my father's favorite truck.
Today, I'm reflecting on the emotions from yesterday which have lingered on through today... my heart aches.
The more I think about our lives... the more I realize....
We are not one more step traveling away from my father.... we are always moving one step closer.....
.... to heaven.
Love always,
Rachel
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 3/31/2008 10:30:57 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4306
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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A New Creation.
I spent this last Saturday in Lake County Jail - Waukegon, IL.
It was a good time of ministry. I didn't have any 'numbers' to report. I didn't lead anyone to Christ - but I did have a good time of listening and talking with women. I spent a lot of one-on-one time encouraging them in their walk with Christ.
Often times, it seems, the women in jail don't know how to break out of their learned attitudes and decisions. They don't know how to think 'out of the box'. They are unsure how to break the life-cycle they are living in order to find a new life in and through Christ.
It's not my style to just walk in and spout off a bunch of 'Christian' answers. I do a lot of asking 'thinking' questions... because answers don't seem real real unless a person can truly think through and process new information on their own.
I saw a few 'light bulbs' go on.... this tells me I'm on the right track and the words coming out of my mouth are not mine, but His... Praise the LORD!
Sometimes God uses circumstances in Prisons and Jails to teach me... to stretch me... to remind me that I'm not there for my glory... but His.
An unusual circumstance happened on Saturday.
I was sitting at a table in a block, talking with an inmate. She pointed to a lock-down cell and said, "I have to stay away from her. She wants to kill me." She continued on to tell me a story about a lost love, an affair... and a murder.
Bill, my mentor, was talking with the woman in lock-down through the food shoot. I glanced over to see him praying with the curly-headed blond woman... she had tears streaming down her cheeks.
"That girl killed my ex-boyfriend," the story continued, " she ran him over twice with her car." Her accusatory finger was pointed directly at the blond woman.
I don't encourage inmates to tell me their stories... I'm concerned with their hearts - not what has happened in the past. I was wishing she hadn't told me anything.
The 5 minute call went out. It was time to pack up and leave. I said my goodbyes, knowing I'd probably never see this woman again this side of heaven.
Bill called me over to meet the girl in lock-down. She had just given her heart to Jesus. I shook her hand and smiled at her. I welcomed her to the family of Christ all the while thinking about the cold-blooded murder she apparently committed. She's a new creation in Christ. She's a new creation in Christ. I reminded myself over and over as I blessed her. The murder was now in the past - forgiven.
It was a difficult moment for me. My flesh was fighting my mind, challenging my beliefs. It was a stretching moment for me.
I'm thankful for this circumstance. It was a reminder of the abounding grace God has for us. It was a reminder that, once upon a time, I was lost. It was a reminder that He finds us. He pursues us. He forgives us.
We all have such a long way to go...
To God be the glory.
Love always,
Rachel
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 4/21/2008 9:14:15 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4306
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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My Brother.
“When you gave your heart to Jesus, you became my brother!” I exclaimed.
I was talking to a young man in Cook County Juvenile Detention Center. He was surrounded by several other young men who had given their hearts to Jesus the night before.
“You are my brother,” I said. The message for the day was one of encouragement. He belongs somewhere – to Someone. He is God’s child. He is loved more than he will ever know. He has a new family waiting to be discovered.
His eyes brightened… “Really?” he asked, as though this news was too good to be true.
“Yes, and if I never see you again on this earth; I will see you in heaven. I will see you all in heaven.” I carefully looked at each one – eye to eye.
I was in a facility where hundreds of children, ages ten through sixteen, lived. Almost all of them felt abandoned by their parents or their families. Many didn’t have families.
Drama is cool there. Being tough is cool. Having the worst story is cool.
Under all the bristle and the forced laughter they feel…
… lost,
… alone,
… and empty.
Such a small message… can make the difference of a lifetime.
Seventy one youths gave their lives to Jesus on Saturday in the depths of that detention center… it’s a start. It was the first day of the rest of their lives.
Love always,
Rachel
Now that we are his children,
God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts.
And his Spirit tells us that God is our Father.
Galatians 4:6 CEV
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 4/29/2008 3:49:09 PM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4306
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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Lil Mis.
Miscomunications… misunderstandings… misconceptions… assumptions.
I’m not doing very well on my year of communication. I thought I’d be learning how to better communicate with our LORD… but He’s allowed ‘outside’ people to get mixed up in my journey.
I’m laughing now… but it wasn’t funny last week as I stumbled along and made things worse than they really were.
I realized (for the hundredth time) that I needed to let go… and I did.
Only – did you ever notice that when you let something go… others need time to catch up with your empty hands?
I stumble across another revelation…
This is a quote from a blog entry I wrote for another site…
The Internet is too easy.
You can date people without meeting them.
You can send birthday cards with out signing them.
You can keep in touch without really listening.
You can talk without really talking.
You can commit without really committing.
You can love without really loving.
I realized today… that there are many people I was referring to as ‘friends’. They are not, they are actually acquaintances.
When does an acquaintance cross over into the ‘friends’ category?
So yah… back to the beginning…
Rachel… the writer of simple words… did a horrible job communicating with practically EVERYONE she knew last week.
I can’t dwell on it… I can only pray and ask God to clean up my mess.
I’ve alienated people… but I think going back to try to figure out what happened will make things worse.
It’s a new week.
I will just press on…
… and learn what I can from all the circumstances which happened.
I know when acquaintances cross over to the ‘Friends’ list…
It’s when…
I can meet people and touch them.
I can send birthday cards and sign them.
I can keep in touch and listen.
I can speak without condemnation.
I can commit and follow through.
I can love with evidence of action.
Always,
Rachel
For the sake of my brothers and my friends,
I will now say, "May peace be within you."
Psalms 122:8
NASB
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RE: ~ The Journey ~ - 4/30/2008 9:38:10 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4306
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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Sadly Sweet.
The sound from the strings resounded against the jail walls… somehow, emanating purity, gentleness and strength. My guitar sounded sweeter inside the jail walls than it ever did outside.
Four women sat on their wool blankets on the floor as the music drifted through the air and into their hearts. My blind friend gently strummed the strings of my guitar as he sang and talked of God’s goodness, love and grace.
The Holy Spirit gently moved about the room…
Tears gently fell…
Hearts were softened…
Lives were changed…
…
I’ve had my guitar since I was a teenager. It was my first major purchase. My brother and I went to the music store and together we picked out a quality guitar. It was a Washburn acoustic. It had a cut-away and a plug-in for an electric amp.
I cherished it even more when my brother took the time to sand down the bridge so the finger action would work a little better. My brother worked in the professional music industry… “It’s got studio recording quality” he said.
It was mine… it was a reminder of my brother’s love.
I never took the time to learn how to play it. I would get it out once in a while… play it… learn a few chords and then let life put it away again.
Last night… my heart was broken as my guitar was played by my good friend. He spent years in and out of jail and prisons. Now, he can’t wait to get back into jail – to tell the story of God’s absolute love and mercy.
God has a wonderful adventure in store for him… I can feel it.
…
Later, as we walked down the long hallway towards another pod I asked him how he liked playing my ‘precious’ guitar. “You have no idea how wonderful this thing is, Rachel! Thank you for letting me borrow it!”
I smiled… knowing the LORD was asking me to walk my faith-talk. Sometimes obedience can feel sadly sweet…
“It’s yours,” I said.
...
Love always,
Rachel
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love;
give preference to one another in honor;
not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord;
rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer,
contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.
Romans 12:10-13
NASB
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