It Scares Me (Full Version)

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JoyfulLady -> It Scares Me (5/13/2008 8:30:36 PM)

I'm wondering if any of you other ladies have ever felt like this, and if so, how you deal with it....

I feel like I am living such a blessed life. For 4 years, I have been extremely happily married to such an awesome, honest Christian man. We have this precious, well-behaved, adorable, healthy son. We're both healthy. We own our own home and vehicles. We're not rich but we're not struggling financially.
So what's the problem? I'm scared!! I'm scared something terrible is going to happen, that what I have will get taken away from me, or that we will experience some disaster or big trial. I mean, everyone goes through trials and hard times, right? So I am just waiting, worrying every day something is going to happen. [:(]
How do I deal? Perhaps part of my problem is that I am struggling constantly to have a relationship with God. And then those struggles make me worry even more that He is going to test me, or something, to try to draw me closer. [&:]
Do I make sense? [8|]



HisCovenant -> RE: It Scares Me (5/13/2008 8:53:54 PM)

God tests you daily in small things. There is no guarantee that He will send some huge trial that causes you to lose something. It's possible, but you don't have to fear it. If something bad does happen, God will be right there with you using it for your good and showing His Glory. When you are His, you can know He will take care of you... It's not comforting to hear this, but the way he takes care of you may include something that you can't see as good. That doesn't mean it's any less good. I guess in the end I view it as trust...

The way I got through the fear was in studying my Bible. I mean really studying it, not just going to some milky "Bible study" to gossip and tell half truths about God with other women. I'm talking about getting into the word and knowing God for who He is. I began to see that pain was a part of life and God would be there with those devoted to Him. There's nothing to fear besides God Himself.



csl7037 -> RE: It Scares Me (5/13/2008 9:12:46 PM)

I struggle with this a LOT. For me, though, it comes from being tested and having life smack me in the face a couple of times. After my mom died in a car accident, I spent the next couple of years waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think I missed a lot of what was going on when my kids were little. Or at least I didn't enjoy it because I was consumed, at times, with fear or worry or misttrust in God.

Trusting God, you're right, is what I struggle with. But I've been burned and I'm really struggling to get perspective on that. Romans 8:28 of course, says that He causes all things to work together for good....but I've learned that even that good doesn't take away the bad and the hurt. It can co-exist, but the hurt and the scars are still there. So who decides if it's worth it? I guess God does...what if I don't necessarily think it's worth it. I guess that's because I'm not God. But you can see where trust is not some easy concept.

A lot of this has come back up for me today as the pastor of the church where my kids go to school was killed in a plane crash yesterday morning along with his 13 year old son. His wife and his remaining 5 children are left with what? My heart just aches. And in a way I hate to hear, "God will use this" - yea, He probably will use it for His glory but what about her/their gut wrenching pain. I think I've gotten off the topic, or at least on a tangent. I guess what I'm waiting for is the part about "binding up the broken hearted".



W.O.F. -> RE: It Scares Me (5/13/2008 9:46:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JoyfulLady

I'm wondering if any of you other ladies have ever felt like this, and if so, how you deal with it....

I feel like I am living such a blessed life. For 4 years, I have been extremely happily married to such an awesome, honest Christian man. We have this precious, well-behaved, adorable, healthy son. We're both healthy. We own our own home and vehicles. We're not rich but we're not struggling financially.
So what's the problem? I'm scared!! I'm scared something terrible is going to happen, that what I have will get taken away from me, or that we will experience some disaster or big trial. I mean, everyone goes through trials and hard times, right? So I am just waiting, worrying every day something is going to happen. [:(]
How do I deal? Perhaps part of my problem is that I am struggling constantly to have a relationship with God. And then those struggles make me worry even more that He is going to test me, or something, to try to draw me closer. [&:]
Do I make sense? [8|]

I used to...then the trials started and I realized I had wasted an incredible amount of time worrying about those things I could not control instead of disciplining myself to be in the Word and in really learning to trust God in all circumstances...trusting in His love regardless of whatever happens.

Anytime you start to feel the fear of "what might happen" come over you....start quoting Scripture to yourself..and start memorizing more of it...I recommend Psalm 23, psalm 91 (yes the whole chapter) and the book of James. Replace fear with the Sword of truth..then when trouble comes (because it will...we live in a fallen world where bad things happen)...you will have the strength to cling to the Father. Yes..there will be pain and yes there will be scars...but yes there will be peace as well.



VisitorinWaiting -> RE: It Scares Me (5/14/2008 8:16:12 AM)

How old is your son? Is he your only child right now? For some reason, I did have these feelings when my first son was small, but by the time second son was born 13 months later, I wasn't having those feelings anymore...and still do not have those feelings...and now have 3 precious wonderful little blessings, and my husband is still the best earthly gift that I could have ever been given. :)



Calea37 -> RE: It Scares Me (5/14/2008 8:26:59 AM)

Yes, I struggle with a lot of fear and anxiety too. The "what ifs" always seem to try to rob me of my peace.

For me it is something that I have to pray about daily...sometimes hourly... I read a book called "Freedom from Fear: Overcoming anxiety" by Neil Anderson that was really good. It helped me a lot while I was reading it, but I found that after I finished it I would go back to my old worrying ways. One thing that he said was that we spend so much energy worrying about things that *might* happen that it puts more stress on us than the actual event happening. So basically we wear ourselves down worrying about something and then when/IF it even does happen we find that it wasn't even as bad as the worrying!![&:] I have found that to be true. God gives us the strength to handle what is put in our path.

The only thing I can say is to keep praying and one by one you will be able to work through the fears. That is what I am doing.

Joyfullady, your baby is soooooo adorable!! Enjoy him!



HomeSpunLady -> RE: It Scares Me (5/14/2008 8:31:42 AM)

Yes, I do that too. I am a worrier by nature, it seems. I am working to overcome that. Taming Your Fears by Carol Kent is a book I am working through.

One thing I learned through the bad things that did happen was that God gave me an amazing strength and wisdom when the situation hit. Not before. And He came through. I worry about things that haven't happened yet and that I won't be able to handle it, but I don't need the strength now, I only need it when the situation calls for it. He is faithful. He is the one thing you can count on.

I think women have a tendency to worry about stuff more than men, so you are not alone. I think hormones and that mother instinct have a part to play as well.



Calea37 -> RE: It Scares Me (5/14/2008 9:27:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HomeSpunLady

but I don't need the strength now, I only need it when the situation calls for it. He is faithful. He is the one thing you can count on.



So true!! God knows when to give us the strength (or if we'll even need it!)



laughinggirl -> RE: It Scares Me (5/14/2008 11:40:18 AM)

I can relate 100%. I feel this way ALL.THE.TIME. After many years of singleness, I finally met and married the man of my dreams 2 years ago. Life with him is true bliss. A few months ago, we bought a home. We were blessed with a house that was nicer than we expected to find in our price range, and I get happy all over again every time I return to it each evening. Sometimes I think it's unfair and disgustingly annoying to others for me to be this happy, and I keep waiting for what I really "deserve" to come along and smack me back into reality. Meanwhile, I thank God for what he has given us and try to enjoy it without worrying about what's next.



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: It Scares Me (5/16/2008 12:12:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JoyfulLady

I'm wondering if any of you other ladies have ever felt like this, and if so, how you deal with it....

I feel like I am living such a blessed life. For 4 years, I have been extremely happily married to such an awesome, honest Christian man. We have this precious, well-behaved, adorable, healthy son. We're both healthy. We own our own home and vehicles. We're not rich but we're not struggling financially.
So what's the problem? I'm scared!! I'm scared something terrible is going to happen, that what I have will get taken away from me, or that we will experience some disaster or big trial. I mean, everyone goes through trials and hard times, right? So I am just waiting, worrying every day something is going to happen. [:(]
How do I deal? Perhaps part of my problem is that I am struggling constantly to have a relationship with God. And then those struggles make me worry even more that He is going to test me, or something, to try to draw me closer. [&:]
Do I make sense? [8|]


My best friend was feeling like this. She was married a couple of years ago, and they have 2 adorable healthy daughters. Her husband, while not necessarily "romantic" is very thoughtful and loving and caring. He also has a good job, and earns a good living, and they have a nice house. She said everything is going SO well, she's just sure a disaster is around the corner.

This is what I said to her:
If things are going well in your life (especially in your marriage), don't spoil things by marring them with your own fears. Enjoy the fact that things are going well, in a thankful way, and if/when God chooses to bring hardship of one kind or another, he will give you the grace needed at the time. In other words, don't MAKE things bad by worrying about them being good.



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: It Scares Me (5/16/2008 12:16:17 AM)

quote:

Sometimes I think it's unfair and disgustingly annoying to others for me to be this happy


Not at all. I don't know what it is about you, but you are the kind of person that makes me, at least (can't speak for others), joyously happy for every blessing you get. In fact, seeing the blessings you have actually cheers me up at times! Besides, remember where we would all be if God was "fair." If one keeps that in mind, no one can say it is unfair for you to have a blessing they don't. God blesses and tests all His children in different ways and at different times.



Mrs.X -> RE: It Scares Me (5/16/2008 1:29:55 AM)

I have felt that way, and still do occasionally, not on big level though. One thing that brought me comfort and piece of mind was knowing that this is not it. This horrible world we live in is not it. God will put an end to evil and the system of things and the meek will inherit the earth. We will live in a paradise FOREVER, and the only thing we'll have to worry about is what to make for dinner. We won't have to worry about our children dying of SIDS or our hubby's getting in car accidents or our mother's getting breast cancer. That is a promise from God. He says His name is "I am who I am" and in another translatin it is "I am who I say I will be" meaning He keeps His pomises. He promises us that He will wipe every tear from our eye. All we have to do is trust Him, trust that He will do what He says and be patient for the end of the system of things.



JoyfulLady -> RE: It Scares Me (5/16/2008 8:13:53 AM)

Thank you for the encouragement ladies!!! [:)] I appreciate it. I am glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way too .



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