RE: Could use some insight into this very odd situation.
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RE: Could use some insight into this very odd situation. - 5/23/2008 2:54:38 PM
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OLEEguacamole
Posts: 1108
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quote:
ORIGINAL: buckifn
Having a class with someone, and even having the same career goals does in no way mean you have to have a personal relationship of any kind with them.
Discussing class related activities in class is one thing, but moving it beyond that is something else...and it seems to be something you both did in the past that she doesn't want to continue. Respect her request and leave her alone.
However, because you said she has offered you gifts it makes me wonder if she is psychotic or something...her actions do not line up with her words.
I would steer clear of crossing any boundaries that are not required for classwork. Block her email and accept no gift.
the "gifts" here are just things she gives on occasion to every member of the class. if she brings something to class one night, like brownies and gives one to him too, that seems appropriate and to turn it down because he thinks she doesn't actually like him, but is just treating him equally, would be rude.
she's doing the right thing, giving to everyone in the class.
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RE: Could use some insight into this very odd situation. - 5/23/2008 10:55:59 PM
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Prairiehiker
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Joined: 12/11/2007
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Kindly tell us what kind of gifts she gives you? As someone else mentioned, were they food that she shared to everyone? IF that was it, she was trying to be polite and trying not to make you feel left out. If it's a special gift that she gives to you only, then, don't accept them unless you've taken the time to talk to her and iron out whatever is causing all this problem.
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RE: Could use some insight into this very odd situation. - 5/24/2008 3:22:08 AM
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StephenJ
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Joined: 12/3/2007
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Control might have been a poor choice of words. I guess I should have said that I like to know what's going on because it gives me some sense of stability, and understanding. I just assumed that there's always a logical way to figure out whatever is wrong, and a logical way to fix whatever the problem is. It can't be any more comfortable for her because if I even walk within a few feet of her (like if I'm going to the trash can and she's there) she drops whatever she is doing and moves to another part of the room. I have no reason to believe that it wouldn't be a great weight lifted from both of us, if we just resolved whatever thing we were at odds over.
The reason I've thought about telling her to keep her stuff is that I've learned recently that people treat you the way you let them.
The things she usually brings are candy and sweets. She brings them for everyone. It's just odd because half the time she can seem like the sweetest, kindest person in the world, and the other half of the time it's like I have the plauge and she can bairly tolerate being on the same planet as me.
< Message edited by StephenJ -- 5/24/2008 3:30:02 AM >
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RE: Could use some insight into this very odd situation. - 5/24/2008 4:00:04 AM
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OLEEguacamole
Posts: 1108
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there's not always a logical way to work things out with people. accept her graciousness in including you in the treats. she's being a lady. you be a gentleman and respect HER boundaries.
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RE: Could use some insight into this very odd situation. - 5/24/2008 2:18:33 PM
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still4gvn
Posts: 897
Joined: 12/28/2005
From: State of Grace, WA
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If she gave everyone candy except you, it would create a very public scene. People would wonder why. I think she includes you in order to avoid that. You should accept the candy to avoid embarrassing her and avoid bringing the whole class into the drama. Just be a gentleman and realize she is a nut case.
I used to share an office with a coworker who cringed and acted angry if I got near 'her' side of the room. I would literally have to announce 'I have to file something over there' before going near her. (I'm a woman). Then I heard that she had brought sexual harassment charges against another female worker who had walked in and tried to file something! Whatever the problem, it was totally in her head.
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