Standing Outside of Heaven

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BigDan -> Standing Outside of Heaven (5/17/2008 3:01:55 AM)
I could use some prayer, and maybe some wisdom. I heard a song the other day that had a lyric that went, "I'm standing outside of heaven waiting for God to come and get me." That was exactly how I feel. I moved coasts on God's leading with my wife and two young kids. Left my job, my church, my family, and my friends. I figured God was leading us to bless us. But, here we are. Eight months later. No money. No job. Living with my inlaws. Applied to graduate school but was rejected. I'm not qualified for any other decent paying job because of the narrow field I was in. Feel humiliated. I'm studying to get licensed in my field out here, though I had wanted to leave that field and it was the last thing that I wanted to do. But I have to work and feed my family. Had a dream the other night where my teeth fell out and I found out that I was dying. Had a second dream where my family was dropped on the dark side of the moon to live in outer space with no atmosphere to protect and nurture us. We could just be hit by meteorites or just float away into the black void of space. Woke up in terror. I've been having chest pains. I don't think it's heart related since I'm in my 30s and fairly healthy. I guess it must be related to my stress. I feel like I am living in a strange bizzaro dream. Kind of like a movie that follows someone's life around a fork in the road, but I feel like I'm the part of the movie following the life where I took a wrong turn. The wrong turn that I made was when I put down a huge investment on a stock that crumbled. This was against my better judgment and my wife's wishes. A lot of heart ache and strain on the marriage from that. But even without that mistake, we'd still be pretty much in the same boat. I've come to really understand the Israelites a lot better than I did before all of this. When they were in Egypt suffering, they probably dreamed of better days. When Moses came and led them out, they were probably thinking to themselves that great things were ahead. But when trouble came, they were probably puzzled and disappointed. And eventually they complained a lot. It was because they were expecting something really great, but instead they got a lot of wandering around in the desert eating manna and quail. They were probably dreaming of lush green fields and vineyards and peace and rest and joy. I guess I understand them a lot better now because I was expecting a little of something like that too when I made the decision to follow God's leading. I know that God did intend to bless them but their unbelief and idolatry kept them from God's blessing. So, I'm trying to keep hopeful and faithful. I don't want to miss God's blessing. But it's hard to do that when things are tough and you can't see anything good on the horizon. I don't know. Feeling down. I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Got to snap out of it and get back to work. Provide for this family. Just put my head down and put my nose to the grind stone. If God wants to bless me, He'll bless me. Other than that, I guess I just have to do what I have to do. But the disappointment is hard to shake, you know what I mean?

Imnotmyown -> RE: Standing Outside of Heaven (5/17/2008 3:19:11 AM)
praying for you, BigDan

conrack50 -> RE: Standing Outside of Heaven (5/17/2008 7:39:55 AM)
Our Heavenly Father, We ask that you give peace, joy, wisdom and understanding to this man and his family. We ask that you supply a job that can help him. We ask Father that you heal the family of any issues it may have concerning the move. We ask Father that you not only bless this family but the family they are staying with. We ask that you remove any negative thoughts or dreams from anyone in this family. We ask that you supply all their needs Lord. We ask these things in Jesus Name, Amen.

sparkleingsnow -> RE: Standing Outside of Heaven (5/17/2008 8:58:32 AM)
Dan, I guess one thing I would ask myself is was God leading me to make this move, or did I just think that he was? Another question might be, what does God want me to learn from this? How does He want to use me here? God Bless. Father, asking Your blessings onBigDan and his family. Father, You know what Your will is in this. Guide Dan to the training/job that he can enjoy doing each day. Where he can rejoice in You as he works. Thank You that Dan and his family have a place to stay. Bless everyone involved. See Dan through this trial and bring him to the other side praising You. We know You love us Lord, beyond what we can even underdstand. I ask for Your blessings and peace for Dan and His family, and that You would meet they'er every need. Thank You Father. Amen

peaceofGod -> RE: Standing Outside of Heaven (5/17/2008 9:10:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: conrack50 Our Heavenly Father, We ask that you give peace, joy, wisdom and understanding to this man and his family. We ask that you supply a job that can help him. We ask Father that you heal the family of any issues it may have concerning the move. We ask Father that you not only bless this family but the family they are staying with. We ask that you remove any negative thoughts or dreams from anyone in this family. We ask that you supply all their needs Lord. We ask these things in Jesus Name, Amen. Amen.

kyl -> RE: Standing Outside of Heaven (5/17/2008 12:51:23 PM)
BigDan what is important is you want the Lord in your life. If you continue to seek the Lord in all you do he WILL see you and your family through. Hang on to your FAITH and dont let your feelings distract you . Just because things arent going the way you expected does not mean the Lord isnt in the midst of everything going on. Stay focused,pray,praise and trust in the Lord quote: quote: ORIGINAL: conrack50 Our Heavenly Father, We ask that you give peace, joy, wisdom and understanding to this man and his family. We ask that you supply a job that can help him. We ask Father that you heal the family of any issues it may have concerning the move. We ask Father that you not only bless this family but the family they are staying with. We ask that you remove any negative thoughts or dreams from anyone in this family. We ask that you supply all their needs Lord. We ask these things in Jesus Name, Amen.

Itlyn1kc -> RE: Standing Outside of Heaven (5/17/2008 8:23:35 PM)
BigDan, it definitely sounds like you are stressed, everynight before you go to bed just pray to the Lord, to let you have a peaceful nights sleep and only dreams of him. Let nothing steal your joy!! Lord, please clear Dans mind today Lord, give him and his family a peaceful, calming night and let them know you are there with them watching over them. Please just show Dan what you want him to do and exactly where you want him to be Lord.... AMEN kc

dontbelonghere -> RE: Standing Outside of Heaven (5/18/2008 10:03:10 PM)
Oh God, Strengthen and guide your child. Bless him for his loyalty to you. In Jesus' name, Amen

Itlyn1kc -> RE: Standing Outside of Heaven (5/18/2008 10:06:10 PM)
I am still praying for you bigdan... AMEN kc

godsgirl2 -> RE: Standing Outside of Heaven (5/18/2008 11:26:35 PM)
Are you sure God told you to make this move? When he moves us he provides for us. When you have these dreams as soon as you wake ask him to reveal to you what they mean and he will. I will keep you in prayer and your family. Your not the only one who has mad a change in their lives thinking it was God then things did not go the way you thought. I have done the samething. It will work out. Father God I thank you now that we can come to you with anything that we are in need of. Lord you know this dear man's heart and he was only doing what he felt you wanted him to do now he needs your help. Lord I ask that you bring him the job that is meant for him and that you bless his family in every area of their lives. Lord help them now. Lead and guide them. Give this man wisdom and understanding. Help them Father. Bless them. Lord send someone to them that can help them now.In Jesus name I pray Amen

barbi -> RE: Standing Outside of Heaven (5/19/2008 9:00:40 AM)
praying in agreement with the others

calamtykelagain -> RE: Standing Outside of Heaven (5/19/2008 5:57:22 PM)
We've been in a similar boat. We went through a two year stretch of unemployment during which time two of my kids were hospitalized and I had a baby. Many times we thought we could see God and the direction he was moving us, but then the bottom would drop out. :( I think that it is not necessarily so that just because you can't see it right "now" doesn't mean that God didnt' lead you here. He certainly has not abandoned you, that's for sure, and it sounds as if he is providing for you, (food/shelter) just not in the way we think of provision. Continue to pray and expect the unexpected. God placed my husband in a job he wasn't qualified for, that he never thought he'd get, that he never expected. It's working out very very well for us. But we wandered two years in the wilderness. He was applying for assistant janitor jobs for $10 an hour at the end and he coudln't even get an interview for THAT! It was hard. God had every single door shut and deadbolted shut. Seemingly "perfect' opportunities feel apart in our hands and I seriously questioned what God was doing. People thought there was something wrong with him or us that he couldn't even get a simple janitor's job or even a part time clerk typist position or filing clerk. In retrospect I'm glad none of them panned out because now he was hired into a company that promoted him to management within a year (he's never been management level in all his 45 years). When God moves, sometimes he moves fast. I had those similar dreams by the way, when we were going through unemployment. We have four children and it was very hard. At the end, I was having literal panic attacks and it was taking a toll on my health because we couldn't see any direction at all. Dear Lord I pray for this brother, that you will uphold and strengthen him and his family during this time of trial. Provide for all of them in miraculous ways until your appointed time when you will shower down blessings upon them. Thank you for caring about and watching over this family and for giving them wisdom, as you said in your word that you would. In Jesus name -

pstrdebi -> RE: Standing Outside of Heaven (5/19/2008 9:27:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BigDan But the disappointment is hard to shake, you know what I mean? Hey Big Dan... I'm not sure if you noticed the other row boat out there in the tempest with you... that's us! Hey... nice to meet ya'! Boy we (my husband and I) sure can relate to everyting you are dealing with... and we are sorry that you are having to deal with the situation you are in. Many things are so similar and I'd be on here all evening telling you our situation... just know that both our hearts go out to you. The funny thing is, my husband just finished his sermon for this coming weekend... and it is written from within the storm! I am going to try and copy and paste it into a private message for you. I hope there is something in there that will encourage your heart. He is editing it this very minute... so it will be a few minutes before I get it sent. The title is, "Do You Have Faith That God Will Deliver." Father... I pray for BigDan and his family Lord. You know that we know exactly what he is going through... and how our hearts break for him. Lord I ask that You would hold him close to You... that You would just draw him near to Yourself and administer Your healing oil to him, Father. Lord, You are El Roi, the God who sees Dan. Father, You are all seeing and all knowing. You have known Dan from before he was formed. Father You see him now and are preparing to deliver him. You are Yahweh Shalom, Dan's Lord of peace. You are Dan's peace... the peace which transends all understanding, which garrisons and mounts guard over Dan's heart and mind in Christ Jesus. You are Yahweh Tsuri, the Lord who is Dan's Rock. You are the Rock of Dan's salvation. His very firm and stable foundation and will not moved. You are Yahweh Roi, The Lord who is Dan's Shepherd. Dan shall not want for any good or benificial thing. You lead him and guide in all righteousness. You are Yahweh Yireh, The Lord who will provide for Dan. You see all of Dan's needs and will provide for them according to Your riches in glory. You are Yahweh Rophe, the Lord who heals Dan. You are his Healer and the one who makes bitter experiences sweet. You send Your word and heal Dan. And You are Yahweh Nissi, the Lord who is Dan's Banner. You are Dan's Victory, his Banner and his Standard. Your banner over Dan is love. When the enemy comes in like a flood, You will lift up a standard against him. Father... we bless Your name and thank You for All that You are working out for the good of Dan and his family. In Jesus name... Amen

Itlyn1kc -> RE: Standing Outside of Heaven (5/19/2008 9:40:57 PM)
Still praying for you... AMEN kc

pstrdebi -> RE: Standing Outside of Heaven (5/20/2008 12:28:57 PM)
Praying for you today Dan. Remember... you are not alone. The saints gather in one accord praying for your deliverance from this trial. God bless you... Pastor Debi [:)]

BigDan -> RE: Standing Outside of Heaven (5/23/2008 3:29:45 PM)
Some interesting developments since my initial desperate prayer request last week. Yesterday, I was invited to interview for a spot in the graduate program that I was targeting in this area! Today, I received a reference letter from my former employer, whom I had asked for a reference months earlier. The absence of the reference letter was probably one of the key factors in my not being offered admission into other graduate programs. It turned out that there was a lot of shuffling going on back at my old organization and today was her last day on the job and she remembered to send the letter! I'm still not out of the woods, but these two developments are tremendous! I had pretty much given up on grad school, but now I at least have a fighting chance, an opportunity! In addition, my mood has dramatically improved. I've come to accept whatever God may send my way, and to believe in His promises despite events unfolding to the contrary. I have been reading through the life of David in 1 Samuel, and learned a lot about what it means to persevere through trials, even when God has promised to bless you. When I think of the Psalms that he wrote during his times of desperation and frustration and weariness, I can appreciate them much deeper now. David was promised the throne of Judah, yet for many years he was hunted down by Saul and made to flee from place to place. This was the opposite of the promise that God had given him, yet he persevered and lived to receive that promise. I realized that even when God is with you and is leading you into blessings, the journey is not necessarily swift or straight or pleasant. I guess in these arduous trials, He teaches us to trust Him more and He builds within us a strong and enduring spirit. I think that I have learned a lot these past few months in my own personal desert. Thank you all for your prayers. They have made a tremendous and immediate difference in my life. I can't thank you enough. God has heard your prayers and He has swiftly responded. I don't know what challenges or twists or apparent dead end's are next, but I have hope and faith to persevere through it all.

pstrdebi -> RE: Standing Outside of Heaven (5/23/2008 3:36:20 PM)
Praise God for His answers to prayer and for His hand upon you through this desert time! May He richly restore you! I will continue to keep you n my prayers... blessings... Pastor Debi [:)]

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