Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (Full Version)

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ontheground -> Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (5/19/2008 9:22:16 AM)

It seems like no matter what angle I approach a relationship from it ends with me being severly hurt and disappointed. Even though I am not really very old, I worry that I will never meet a good man and be married. I am in the midst of such sadness with the end of a relationship happening just a couple days ago, even though I was offered no closure. Why do I feel like my life was wasted if I do not get to experiance love and fulfillment from a partner? I would be happy to leave this earth and rest in heaven. At this point Im just not sure how much more disappointment I can handle.



Szaftoo -> RE: Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (5/19/2008 9:58:01 AM)

Do you mind if I ask how old you are?



ontheground -> RE: Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (5/19/2008 10:02:15 AM)

I will be 25 this year...



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (5/19/2008 10:27:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ontheground
I worry that I will never meet a good man and be married. I am in the midst of such sadness with the end of a relationship happening just a couple days ago, even though I was offered no closure. Why do I feel like my life was wasted if I do not get to experiance love and fulfillment from a partner?


welcome to crosswalk. there is a singles forum where you might consider posting so other singles can share their experiences with you.



ChoirDJ -> RE: Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (5/19/2008 1:17:31 PM)

Not sure which thread you started first but the TOS states you can't start multiple threads (I.e., Struggling with closure) on the same subject so one of your threads will likely be shut down.



Ninjaearth -> RE: Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (5/20/2008 1:21:31 PM)

Well, if it's any consolation, I'm 25 (about to be 26) and I'm still not married nor in a relationship. I have often asked myself the same question when I see most of the people around (on campus) that are married or engaged or even have some interest that respond positively to their advances. But as for me, there's no one. I have approached someone recently (in the previous semester last year) and all I get is the friendship button. Furthermore, this previous semester that just ended I have developed a small interest in someone. But, without really revealing my feelings or "crush" on her she made a sharp comment (whether or not she was joking I don't know, but it's likely she was, but even so it still hurt) that she didn't think I was "girlfriend" material. Ouch!!! Well, I'd have some relationships in the past and I have made my share of mistakes (especially in the last one). But it still doesn't get rid of the fact that every time I do try to get into a relationship that nothing works out. I'm tired and will 4 years to thirty on the 11th of June and I told myself long ago that I wanted to be married by the time I"m 23 and even as late as 25. Now, I can't get married in less than a month (for a number of reasons, the number one being that I don't and won't rush into a marriage) but it has been some painful times. Like you, I ask that question here and there, but the answer I get from God is "be patient and wait on the Lord." Waiting...I've been waiting for ages, at least 7 years (or more) for the ONE and she's not here yet! I've looked and looked and it seems that I can get close, but not quite to that road that says "Yep, I found her and she's mine." The closest I got was a couple of years ago when I proposed to someone, but it was for the wrong reason. I'm still suffering that mistake (in regards to decision making) til this day and it has caused me to be reformat some things in my life. I have decided of looking only, I'm going to focus on God and live as a man who will be the "one" for a woman oneday. I'd spent so long looking for Mrs. Right, that I haven't had the right attitude or expectations on some things that she would be looking for. So, it's where I'm focusing right now, but if God brings a woman in my life that I am interested in I will pray and seek God's will concern whether or not I should pursue her; that's the exact situation I am in now. As the thread has on it's topic, "Why do I feel so alone when I have God?", that's because God designed men to be with women and women to be with men. God said that it's not good that man should be alone and that He would make a help mate for him. In my case, I"m waiting for my helpmate. Being alone, for me, isn't necessarily being so lonely that I don't think God is with me but rather, "Lord, I'm lonely cause I don't have what everyone has: a mate! I sooo want one but it's nothing I have." The best thing I can find to do about this is to focus daily on my relationship with God and talk to Him about how I feel about this and ask for wisdom and patience to help wait on Him and that I may surrender to His will and His discipline that will prepare me to receive her when she comes. Cause the fact of the matter is if I don't have certain things (a job, a place to stay, a car, etc) these things may be crucial to the progression of the relationship because they are tools that will help indicate how well I am as a man of God with my finances and stewardship (I can't bring a woman home if I have no home and I can't take her out if I don't have money). I know these are trivial issues, but the most important is my relationship with God. So, just be encouraged that I know it seems like all the opportunities in a relationship fail, when God has the right one for you, it will not fail. Please consider James 1:17 as a verse to encourage that what God has for you is for you! If it's yours, then you will keep it. If not, then it's someone elses. God bless you and I'll be praying for you during this time!



crh737 -> RE: Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (5/20/2008 2:42:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ontheground

It seems like no matter what angle I approach a relationship from it ends with me being severly hurt and disappointed. Even though I am not really very old, I worry that I will never meet a good man and be married. I am in the midst of such sadness with the end of a relationship happening just a couple days ago, even though I was offered no closure. Why do I feel like my life was wasted if I do not get to experiance love and fulfillment from a partner? I would be happy to leave this earth and rest in heaven. At this point Im just not sure how much more disappointment I can handle.


Oh ye of little faith...[&:] You believe you life was wasted because he was not the one, yet it shows you are anxious. The Lord says be anxious for nothing.

Timing is in the Lord's time and not ours and the old motto is: Haste makes waste.
I made this mistake and married at 29 and did not win the prize instead I settled because I believed I was an old maid, with my sisters and brother being married.

You feel lonely because you are missing God's companionship and are mistaking it for a flesh need (desire) to have a human relationship.
Seek God first and all things will be added unto you.....

I hope my post doesn't seem harsh it is not intended, wait for the Lord to guide and direct you to the one that will give you the love that He wants you to receive and give Him the Glory.

And for the your record I am 47 y/o and am a new mother. My son is 2 y/o. Nope it's all about seeking God and waiting on Him

CRH



amyk -> RE: Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (5/24/2008 3:09:38 AM)

Please please please do not tell me that anyone is an old maid when they have not even turned 25 yet! (I believe the poster said she WILL turn 25 this year, so I assume that means she is only 24!) And please do not think that marriage is going to solve problems of loneliness. Yes, marriage is a good thing.....IF you marry in the Lord's will. But don't you think that a lot of married people are just wishing they still were single?

You need to settle this issue with the Lord and be content in all circumstances. I don't mean to sound harsh. Believe me, I have not always been content in all circumstances! But keep praying for contentment and yes, keep praying for the Lord to satisfy the desires of your heart. You may end up being surprised at how He will do that!

By the way, I really am an old maid! 40 years old! [:D]



PatricksPeaches -> RE: Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (5/24/2008 5:23:54 PM)

With so many marriages ending in divorce these days it is best for you to wait until the Lord gives you your mate. You may feel like that will never happen but with prayer God will supply. I suggest putting your attentions on something else. Get involved in a bible study, or church group. Try a christian group for singles that focus on friendship not dating. There is a saying something like this, "A watched pot will never boil". If you are looking for love it won't come. (or so it seems) But when you least expect it, it will come to you. Let God do the work. Just be in prayer and trust the Lord.



rosamaria -> RE: Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (5/24/2008 6:18:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ontheground

It seems like no matter what angle I approach a relationship from it ends with me being severly hurt and disappointed. Even though I am not really very old, I worry that I will never meet a good man and be married. I am in the midst of such sadness with the end of a relationship happening just a couple days ago, even though I was offered no closure. Why do I feel like my life was wasted if I do not get to experiance love and fulfillment from a partner? I would be happy to leave this earth and rest in heaven. At this point Im just not sure how much more disappointment I can handle.

hi, ontheground,

I am rosa, in my 20's also.. and I understand where you are coming from..
But I never had a relationship..
I am considering the guidance of the Lord to guide my steps to the right person, Godly man,
and no such as perfect person out there, I know we all have our weakness, faults.. but I believe there is someone out there for us..do you?

And I dont know when,, some days' it can be difficult... especially with all these marriages and encagements going on>>yeah.

What can I say.. I appologize if I did not help.. I MAY be in the same situation..


rosamaria

[&o]



amyk -> RE: Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (5/25/2008 7:33:13 PM)

quote:

I'm SO DESPERATE
The other advise: "You gotta sort this out with God". "Yeah man, I know. I just don't believe it. I just see this hopelessness everywhere I move on the campus." And the reason for that is: "You should share your struggle with someone" And here we are AGAIN.
So task for you: "What is the solutions of this impossible life inequation. "


Oh, Jacob, my heart goes out to you. I don't know what to tell you. Really, I wish you could find a way to be this honest with people in the "real world" and not only in the "internet world"! The main solution I know for you is prayer, prayer, and more prayer! I mean like maybe even spending a day fasting and praying about this issue. Another suggestion is that you find a Bible-believing church, start attending regularly (if you don't already), and make an appointment to discuss this despair with the pastor.

quote:

But I'm totaly HOPELESS at changing something.


You may feel totally hopeless at changing something, but God really can change this situation! Please believe me!

Best wishes - I will try to remember to pray for you and your loneliness.



Kames -> RE: Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (5/25/2008 8:29:35 PM)

to feel alone is to be human [8|][:(]



deermousie -> RE: Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (5/25/2008 8:56:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ontheground

It seems like no matter what angle I approach a relationship from it ends with me being severly hurt and disappointed. Even though I am not really very old, I worry that I will never meet a good man and be married. I am in the midst of such sadness with the end of a relationship happening just a couple days ago, even though I was offered no closure. Why do I feel like my life was wasted if I do not get to experiance love and fulfillment from a partner? I would be happy to leave this earth and rest in heaven. At this point Im just not sure how much more disappointment I can handle.


Hang in there, dear heart - there's good news! Your life will only be wasted if you insist on doing it on your own terms instead of turning to God and finding out what His plans are for you. They are good plans, and include really digging into His Word daily, talking to Him daily, and learning to keep short accounts (confess and repent your sin as soon as you're aware of it). As you learn to live unselfishly and sacrificially for others, especially those of the household of God, your life will be rich.

God promises not to withhold any good thing from you if you are walking in Him (Ps. 84:11) so you won't miss anything good. You can relax - God is driving and you're the passenger. He has created good works for you to walk in, and the power comes from Him.

If God has a man for you, he will come when God pushes him in front of you, and not before it's the right time. If you want to marry, then you probably will because it's God's plan for almost everyone (and the ones who don't want to are probably the ones God called to be single).

So turn your eyes away from yourself and towards God - He wants you to get to know Him better, and He has good plans for you. Yay!



DaveW -> RE: Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (5/28/2008 9:32:09 AM)

When God made Adam in the garden, they had a face to face relationship. There was nothing between them, and yet God himself said "It is not good for the man to be alone..."

No matter how close we are to God, (who gets closer than Adam?) it does not replace human contact.

Hang in there, Hang on to God. He will bring the right one to you.



Miril -> RE: Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (5/31/2008 10:05:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaveW
Hang on to God. He will bring the right one to you.


Agree, when you put God first everything else follows.



rgod -> RE: Why do I feel so alone when I have God? (6/3/2008 6:10:10 PM)

quote:

No matter how close we are to God, (who gets closer than Adam?) it does not replace human contact.


I agree with this. I think that there are many different types of loneliness. People who are either married and/or have kids often do not understand this and in their responses seem to imply that if you turn to God then you won't be lonely. I'm not sure if they mean to imply that or to be hurtful - I just think that they underestimate this type of loneliness because they aren't really experiencing it. At the same time they might be experiencing a different kind of loneliness (like the loneliness of being misunderstood or of losing identity).

The reality is that you can love the Lord with all of your heart - fellowship with him, serve Him and still be lonely for human companionship and contact. And when you are in a relationship and you feel that "filled" feeling - you know the one where you know that you aren't alone anymore - it is very difficult to go back to being alone again, which is why a lot of people get trapped in dead-end relationships. Of course we know that Jesus is always with us, but the physical need for companionship and love from another human being is there for most of us.

We do turn to God and he does sometimes alleviate the loneliness, but sometimes he doesn't and he is simply with us as we go through it. Broadening your circle of friendships and increasing your time with others can often help. Increasing your time with the Lord definitely helps too. Regardless though, God will see you through it and can sustain you during this time.

rgod



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