help...I don't know where to go from here (Full Version)

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snow123 -> help...I don't know where to go from here (5/19/2008 12:28:56 PM)

I work with a young lady (31yrs. old) who leads a double life. She has been caught in some compromising situations outside of work and it is affecting her job. However, she blames me for blowing the whistle on her. It seems to all be my fault in her eyes. She doesn't tell me, but tells others that I am judging her and that what she does on her time is her business. She thinks I spy on her, but the parties are out in the yard about 1/4 mile from my home on the street I drive everday. In reality, it is her job performance that is getting her into trouble, but she sees it not as anything she has done. There are 4 women in my room and the lead teacher there sees it as something we need to keep positive and not look at what is really going on. I am the new person in the room this year and I am searching for what my role is in this situation. She will talk one way at school in the classroom and shun me out in public. This morning, the lead teacher told me that the lady is tired of me watching her after hours and what she does on her time is her business and I need to keep out of it. Then she went on to explain that I was not the one with the problem, but I know that she is talking out both sides.



preserved -> RE: help...I don't know where to go from here (5/19/2008 12:56:31 PM)

Why does this lady feel that you are spying on her? Have you said anything to her employer in regards to her job? If you have not done anything but noticed what is going on...it could be because you are the new person in this room??

You should look into a another place...Why is the lead teacher telling you what the lady said...Sound like another instigator...why did she tell the person to tell you herself....



ChoirDJ -> RE: help...I don't know where to go from here (5/19/2008 1:01:51 PM)

quote:

This morning, the lead teacher told me that the lady is tired of me watching her after hours and what she does on her time is her business and I need to keep out of it.


It sounds like the lead teacher is probably right on this one even though she may not be handling the situation the best way. Leave the oversight to those who this teacher reports to. If her job performance is suffering, that's for them to deal with, without your comments (good, bad, or indifferent).



NotDoneYet -> RE: help...I don't know where to go from here (5/19/2008 1:16:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: snow123

I work with a young lady (31yrs. old) who leads a double life. She has been caught in some compromising situations outside of work and it is affecting her job. However, she blames me for blowing the whistle on her. It seems to all be my fault in her eyes. She doesn't tell me, but tells others that I am judging her and that what she does on her time is her business. She thinks I spy on her, but the parties are out in the yard about 1/4 mile from my home on the street I drive everday. In reality, it is her job performance that is getting her into trouble, but she sees it not as anything she has done. There are 4 women in my room and the lead teacher there sees it as something we need to keep positive and not look at what is really going on. I am the new person in the room this year and I am searching for what my role is in this situation. She will talk one way at school in the classroom and shun me out in public. This morning, the lead teacher told me that the lady is tired of me watching her after hours and what she does on her time is her business and I need to keep out of it. Then she went on to explain that I was not the one with the problem, but I know that she is talking out both sides.


Why are you "Blowing the whistle"? Haven't you ever heard "give 'em enough rope"?

I think it'd be in your best interests to butt out of this situation.

Last I heard, whatever I did outside of work had NO bearing on my job (with the exception of illegal drug use as I am subject to drug testing). However, If I want to party every night, drink myself stupid, it's not an issue as long as I perform my job duties.



pbaribeault -> RE: help...I don't know where to go from here (5/19/2008 9:11:47 PM)

Ditto to

quote:

If her job performance is suffering, that's for them to deal with, without your comments (good, bad, or indifferent).


And

quote:

I think it'd be in your best interests to butt out of this situation.


Although it sounds like you are a teacher, so perhaps there is some relevance when evaluating someones overall moral character, as an infulencer of young students... But as long as her double life is credible enough that the students are not catching on to what she is hiding, and as long as the employer has no requirements regarding general moral character -- there's really nothing to be done... Except spying and slander, which I wouldn't reccomend.



buckifn -> RE: help...I don't know where to go from here (5/19/2008 11:34:27 PM)

Learn to separate your personal life from your career. Because you work with a person does not mean you owe them anything after work hours. I would not be involved at all with her unless my job specifically demanded it, and even then I would make sure things stay on a business only level.

If her job performances come back negative that is her problem and I am sure her supervisor will address that with her.

Steer clear and try to be the best you can be at work.



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