So what happens now?? (Full Version)

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Luv4self -> So what happens now?? (5/22/2008 2:39:22 AM)

In Jan I met a man I fell inlove with (despite praying and trying to guard my heart). He initially stated he was looking to date with the intentions of getting into a serious relationship. I'm in my 30's and I can say I have only been inlove with one other man in my life. Previously, he was in a relationship which he was severely emotionally abused. So, to make a long story short when discussing our relationship further, he said he would continue to see me but could not wine and dine me (hence not go out with me) but he still wanted to be my "friend" and hang out at his place. I probably did not such a wise thing (in hind sight...I should know better) and told him I loved him. He was surprised, but didn't say much. Since I told him this and since our discussion about our "relationship," neither has contacted the other. I'm feeling a little rejected and I feel as though I am worth more than to just hang out at his place. I believe I should be wined and dined. So I'm thinking I need to let this "relationship" go (which I think is the right thing to do....I think....) Should I contact him to talk about things or should I let it just die the way it is...I'm very mature and a very outspoken and verbal person...Any advice? When I pray about it, I just get the same message which is to "wait." I wish I knew what I was waiting for....I guess it will be revealed in due time.



Szaftoo -> RE: So what happens now?? (5/22/2008 9:40:25 AM)

It doesn't sound like he is ready for a relationship with you or anyone else. When God says wait, sometimes that means wait for something new and different. I would make no contact and move on.



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: So what happens now?? (5/22/2008 11:31:22 AM)

maybe go out to dinner dutch or take turns paying with a friend ... but wine & dine? if he's not even wanting to go out dutch, i wonder if there might be another woman involved now and he's wanting to avoid being seen out with you. and if you hear wait, you should trust yourself and wait. i don't know for what, but by backing off you are creating mystery that could cause the man to re-evaluate things OR it could be wait for someone else or wait for something else in your life for you to do... i also think contacting the man will just increase any relationship anxiety or feelings of being trapped on his part.



Kat_D -> RE: So what happens now?? (5/22/2008 11:42:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Szaftoo

It doesn't sound like he is ready for a relationship with you or anyone else. When God says wait, sometimes that means wait for something new and different. I would make no contact and move on.


I agree!



jaimestarcross -> RE: So what happens now?? (5/22/2008 12:05:03 PM)

Some valuable lessons are to be learned from that relationship....
guarding one's heart takes effort.
You and him were discussing your relationship and he told you basically
that he's "window shopping" with you (not wanting a love relationship with you) and you tell this man you are in love with him... (guarding your heart was laid aside) and you did something some consider as an act of desperation.
Actually there's nothing else to talk about - he's not in love with you (he stated he wanted to be friends) but after your declaration of love - he probably feelings it's best to leave things alone.
Let go of him and wait upon the Lord to bring someone else into your life as you
share/reflect Christ to the lost in your area.



preserved -> RE: So what happens now?? (5/22/2008 12:23:35 PM)

I have to agree with the other responses...he told you what his intentions were and yet you told him that you loved him...you are more into him then he is into you which explains the no contact.

I am afraid that you are going to have to leave this alone....and seek someone who can wine and dine you as you are seeking...



admill0 -> RE: So what happens now?? (5/22/2008 12:33:03 PM)

Here is my advice. Wait yes..but this is how. First decide intentionally not to dwell on thoughts of this guy. Yes I know it will be extremely challenging. I bet that if you go about your life not avoiding him but not emotionally petting thoughts of how you would like things to be between you and he. Then believe it or not while you are waiting to see what God is either doing in you or in him or both you something will happen. Something to let you know what God's will is....watch and see. Wish you best.



Luv4self -> RE: So what happens now?? (5/29/2008 3:18:54 AM)

Thank you all for the advice....I have taken your advice and I have not contacted him and I feel pretty good about it. I did just want to say that "wine and dine" were his words...I'm not a high maintance type but I like to be treated like a lady. Also when I told him that I loved him, it wasn't in attempts to sway him one way or another. I was being honest. That's the way I felt. The urge to tell him was VERY HEAVY on my heart and I can't tell you the weight that was lifted when I told him. Overall the way I figure it, it's his loss! [:)]



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