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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 7/31/2008 7:00:48 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
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Thanks, Shema;
I appreciated your thoughts; they were confirmation of what God had been speaking.
But today I am not only BATTY but BUMMED. hmmm...kinda seems like I only come here to the belfry to whine....meh. Well, that's the cool thing about PFY's...nobody is forced to read them!
I am bummed because I had lunch with my mom today. Normally, that's a thing to post in the "Things I can thank God for today" thread. But today as I was trying to explain to her my new approach toward life and especially school ("it's a marathon, not a sprint"), she started explaining to me that my kids would soon be grown and gone (which I very well know), that I'm not getting any younger (that I also know) and that I would need something to do to keep busy so that I wouldn't think about companionship...
Then she added "if that's what you want".
Huh?
I interpreted that to mean "if you want to stay single". Heck! I thought I'd made that abundantly clear to her! I don't want to stay single! Only if that is the best plan the Lord has for me...and since I don't know that, can't know that for sure...
So I went on to explain to her that no, I don't want to remain single, that in fact when I've finished school we will not likely stay at our current church (where my parents go, also), but will maybe start going to a church in nearby Austin where I might have more chance of finding a potential mate.
After which she gave me the lecture about how God can BRING the guy to me...
I KNOW that. But I can't keep sitting on my laurels! Not because I don't believe God can bring the fellow wherever I am, but because I feel like I have to be doing something about it. Making some kind of effort keeps me from feeling so totally hopeless.
Anyway...it was such a confusing conversation...she seemed to totally miss the point I was making about school, which was not that I was going to quit or even really slow down in getting my degree, but just not panic so much or try to do it faster and to try to be more available to my family.
Maybe I misinterpreted her comment about "if that's what you want". Maybe she's afraid I don't want the degree enough because of my comments about school, who knows?
I don't know. Now my brain is asking "what's WRONG with wanting to be married? What's WRONG with taking a different, more sane approach to school? So WHAT if I'm 50 instead of 49 when I get my degree? Why CAN'T I make time in my life for seeking a mate?"
Ok. Deeeeeppp breath. Wipe eyes, blow nose. What do I know for sure?
I know God loves me.
I know HE will provide for me...yes, I have to do the best I can making wise decisions, but HE is responsible for provide for me to be able to do the things He's called me to do.
I know HE has led me to this attitude about school. I know He wants me to finish my degree.
The rest is up to Him and is so far in the future at this point that no matter what my mother says, I don't have to make concrete decisions about it now.
So. Steadying breath. I know what the course is. Even though I love my mother and many times in my life she has spoken truth and wise counsel to me, this time she may not have heard God, and as long as I know what He's saying to ME, I can be ok with that.
Right?
besiderself
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Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.
Shallbe's Batty Belfry
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 7/31/2008 8:21:30 PM
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sunluvingirl
Posts: 1672
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Right, Esther 
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 8/2/2008 12:24:58 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 15414
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From: Just Outside of Boston
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Hi Esther, I will keep you in prayer!
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 8/2/2008 7:35:10 AM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 1816
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Thanks Mike.
My son is home for the weekend, so my spirits have been raised a little by that!
besiderself
_____________________________
Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.
Shallbe's Batty Belfry
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 8/2/2008 7:37:08 AM
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sunluvingirl
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Enjoy your weekend, Esther 
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"Oh, send out your light and your truth! Let them lead me." |
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 8/2/2008 7:37:10 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 15414
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From: Just Outside of Boston
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Thats good Esther! Enjoy your time with him!
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 8/2/2008 8:16:11 AM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 1816
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Since I have only been coming here to whine and not to encourage, I thought I should try to pull up a little positive craziness for you Batty Peeps.
I spoke with GP1 yesterday, and we discussed the hunch that The Question will soon be asked. Ever since Chris Rice's album Amusing came out I have wanted to send The Beau this song, but of course, that would have seemed pushy at the worst and impolitic at the least.
But the two of them never venture over to CW unless I specifically point something out for them to look at, so it's safe for me to crow a bit and give you the
Chanson du jour
I'll be sure to post when the real thing happens...please y'all keep praying for them...
besiderself
_____________________________
Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.
Shallbe's Batty Belfry
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 8/2/2008 8:21:55 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 15414
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From: Just Outside of Boston
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Nice song Esther, thanks for sharing!
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 8/2/2008 8:44:32 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 15414
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Welcome Mvic!
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 8/2/2008 2:54:02 PM
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AngelInWaiting1983
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From: South Carolina
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Great song Esther!
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Reflecting with Terri
"To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless."
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internet down - 8/2/2008 10:01:05 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 1816
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Glad the song blessed you.
My internet has been down since early morning!
Besiderself
_____________________________
Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.
Shallbe's Batty Belfry
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RE: internet down - 8/2/2008 10:38:35 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 1816
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Hey Nadine!
Glad to hear from you. We were planning a search and rescue mission, but then you showed up.
Happy to hear that your life is busy in a good way.
Keep in touch!
besiderself
_____________________________
Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.
Shallbe's Batty Belfry
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RE: internet down - 8/2/2008 10:44:12 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 15414
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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Hi Esther, how are you this evening?
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RE: internet down - 8/2/2008 10:46:32 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 1816
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Hey Mike;
I'm hanging out tonight with a really, really cool, awesome, handsome, intelligent and high quality man...
my son.
besiderself
_____________________________
Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.
Shallbe's Batty Belfry
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RE: internet down - 8/2/2008 10:47:35 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 15414
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From: Just Outside of Boston
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Very nice Esther! I am hanging out with me, myself and I 
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RE: internet down - 8/2/2008 10:48:57 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 15414
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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Hiya FB, hows the Metroplex?
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RE: internet down - 8/2/2008 10:53:42 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 15414
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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You want snow?
throws a snowball at FB! 
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