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rgod -> RE: Is it true? (6/8/2008 9:00:00 PM)
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I think it depends on the woman and her level of maturity and where she stands in the Lord. Also, I think it depends on the level of woundedness in her life. Insecure women who do not know how to be treated well are often the ones that let guys treat them badly. Women who have unresolved issues often do the same thing. But women who know their worth, who understand who they are in Christ, and who are secure in themselves as people don't. I think too, that soul ties play a role. It seems that the bad guys are experts in getting you tied to them. The wise woman guards her heart and takes her time to get to know a man first before giving her heart. Otherwise if that tie is formed, the bad boy can tug at that soul tie whenever he wants and the woman will come running. She won't even understand why. Praise the Lord that He can break that tie.
Also, I think part of this is also how ready you are to connect with someone. I don't know if picking and being attracted to a "bad boy" means that a woman isn't really ready for a serious relationship. I think that when you are ready, you know your worth, you've unhooked yourself from the "bad boys" (if you were ever hooked in the first place), you look for the good guy. The bad guys still come around, but you recognize them and won't tolerate their poor treatment.
I think sometimes women get lonely waiting for the good guy to come along. It seems that this is exactly when the bad boy comes sauntering along. I've had this happen to me more than once - I can usually spot a counterfeit a mile away, but I did almost fall into the trap once (I gave my heart way too quickly). Thank God I realized it before anything serious could develop or compromise could occur - so it was nipped in the bud. But during times of great loneliness, it is not unusual for some guy to come along who seems like "Mr. Right" - only for you to find out later that he is a "bad boy" in disguise. A lot of women fall right at that point.
Sometimes women have the wrong criteria for selecting a mate. They base it on hollywood and romance novels and they end up with the bad boy instead of the nice guy. It is the same with men who want women who look a certain way. I'm not saying that Christian women aren't attractive, plenty of them are. But that hollywood look takes time and money. That's hours at the gym, the mall, getting your hair done, nails, feet, facials, spa, and maybe even surgery if you don't have a certain body type naturally. Not every worldly woman does this, but you'd better believe that women who are "players" know exactly what bait to use to attract men. And, the "bad boy" knows the bait to use too (sweet words, aggressiveness, "undying" love and affection, emotionally laden secrets, then the "hot and cold" routine to keep you off balance).
I think for all of us as Christians, the inner takes precedence over the outer. That is not to say that physical attraction is not important, but because our focus is internal - those who are running after Christ might not always be noticed. So a Christian woman might not notice the nice guy - even if he is right under her nose. And the same for a Christian man. I am truly amazed at how many Christian men run after non-Christian women or very carnal Christian ones. And I see some Christian women do the exact same thing.
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