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Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/8/2008 8:44:21 PM
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mrwrench
Posts: 25
Joined: 5/28/2005
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So for all the dads out there (or moms talking about the dad) What kind of bonding experiences do you do with your babies?
I have lots of ideas that I do with our babies/kids but will post them later.
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gal 6:9-10
9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/8/2008 9:05:01 PM
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karlie
Posts: 16591
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Central California
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My husband was a very hands on dad, even from the very beginning. I had c-sections which were actually blessings in disguise. My personality is one that would do it all, but because of the recovery, I had to back off and let him do much more than I may normally have and that alone created an instant and fast bond between him and the girls that never ended.
He was the was the first to hold them in the hospital, and even the first to feed them. He was more than willing(and even wanted to) take his turn rocking them(and singing to them), he changed them, and spent a lot of time just talking to them and telling them how special they were. While I was still recovering and having a difficult time getting in and out of bed, he was the one who would get them out of their cradle beside the bed at night, and bring them to me to nurse. The he would change them and tuck them back into their bed. When he got home after work, he wanted to be involved in their care no matter how tired he was and always spent time with them.
That never ended as they got older, He read to them and gave them evening baths, and was always there for tucking in and bedtime prayers. He was more than happy to watch them and never referred to it as "babysitting(a pet peeve of mine) when I needed to run to the store or something. He set aside real time everyday just to play with them and take walks together as a family. He also liked to have daddy/daughter dates as they got older and he took them out for breakfast or ice cream and the park. Just something that let them know they were important to him and he enjoyed being with them. All those things have created a very solid bond with the girls and even now that they're grown, they are both still very much Daddy's girls. I love seeing them have what I didn't with my dad.
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/8/2008 9:12:08 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10128
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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I have had the privilege of seeing my husband grow from a man who wouldn't be left alone with ONE little one for 5 minutes to one who will gladly stay with all four (that are here so far  ) overnight.
Some of the things he does with our kids (8, 7, 3, 16 months)...
-burps and changes them after I have nursed them (in the evenings and on weekends...)
-baths about half the time, and he plays with them more in there than I do because by then I'm exhausted, where he hasn't seen them all day
-bedtime routine and prayers...from about a year old...I do it before then because it just works better for us
-fishing dates with each kid separately
-trips to the hardware or auto parts store, again one kid at a time
-countless hours spent working on cars or projects in the garage
I have found that the first year is mostly my bonding time with the baby, and Brian will gladly hold or play with the baby whenever he is home. His prime bonding time starts at about 2, when they really start to favor Daddy over Mommy (normal and okay!!!), and are able to do more hands-on stuff with them. It's not that he doesn't bond with them as babies, it's that he really enjoys getting to know them as people and that happens when they are a bit older.
< Message edited by PrincessDonna -- 6/8/2008 9:18:44 PM >
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God most definitely sees.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen. 2 Cor. 4:18
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/8/2008 9:12:19 PM
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IAMJulie
Posts: 266
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: WA
Status: online
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I call my hubby The Master Soother because when the babies were all infants he was always the one to take them and walk them and rock and shoosh, whatever it took to get them calm and asleep. He has always had a lot more patience than I have in that area.
He also does the evening bedtime routine (or we do it together when I don't have a newborn) and bathtime.
More frequently than I, he is the one that gets to take the kids for one on one time. A run to the store or whatever he'll take one of the kids and make it a one on one time. That's more now that they are "older" but it's a really good time for the kids, they love it.
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Julie, wife to Rob, mom to son Gabriel (2/04), daughter Zion (10/06), and son Gideon born 4/28/08, dog Towzer, cats Spot, Benny and Maisy, and many, many fish. Check out my blog at www.wellblessed.blogspot.com :)
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/9/2008 9:17:50 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1680
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
I'm sure most would frown on my dh. He is not very much a hands on dad. He's never bathed our babies, and I can count the number of diapers he's changed on one hand. I do the nighttime parenting because we don't use bottles and I'm the only one with the alternative. 
However, he does the little things. Most importantly to me, he's welcoming of the children. When they come to him (or when I need to hand them off) he gladly holds them. His lap serves as highchair for the baby at supper time. I can leave a sleeping baby next to him in bed and he'll wrap his arm around the baby and they'll sleep a while, and when the baby wakes up and starts pulling and poking and climbing on him, he lets him do it. He cheers their accomplishments and kisses their booboos. 
THAT is a hands-on dad. Sure...some dads do more of the nitty gritty...but a hands on dad loves, cuddles, parents and soothes his children.
My hubby has done all of the above..he has changed diapers (preferably NOT poopy ones)...he doesn't bathe them when they are little simply because they are too slippery and it makes him very very nervous which makes them cry..which makes him more nervous....and so on. However...he does take over bath time when they are past that slip slidey stage on a regular routine.
The big thing is...he loves to hold them. Snuggle them and hum to them.....and as it turns out..that is the best thing dads can do for newborn babies. Newborns who are held by their dads within 30 minutes of birth have less trouble regulating their body temperature and blood sugar levels than babies who are NOT held by their dads in that time frame.
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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/9/2008 9:55:06 PM
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isaacsmom
Posts: 1782
Joined: 12/2/2005
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That's cool about the newborn stuff, WOF!
quote:
My hubby has done all of the above..he has changed diapers (preferably NOT poopy ones)...he doesn't bathe them when they are little simply because they are too slippery and it makes him very very nervous which makes them cry..which makes him more nervous....and so on. However...he does take over bath time when they are past that slip slidey stage on a regular routine.
The big thing is...he loves to hold them. Snuggle them and hum to them.....and as it turns out..that is the best thing dads can do for newborn babies.
This sounds like my hubby. He doesn't do a lot of the newborn stuff like bathing (he's too nervous) or feeding (I breastfeed) or changing (he can't handle poo, bless his heart!). But he loves on our babies like crazy. He plays with them and holds them and sings to them. In fact, each of our babies had/have a special song just for them that their daddy sings to them to calm them down. They only calm down when HE sings it. It's amazing!! They both get so excited when he comes home, too.
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/13/2008 8:02:39 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 11263
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: Between Hither and Yon
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Karaboo2
Giving this thread a quick bump to bring it back onto page one for Paul and all the other dads on CW.
lol....yeah he just told me he hasn't had time to type anything up yet. He's been working every waking minute he is home getting ready for this baby and the family coming to visit in less then two weeks!!!!
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/13/2008 8:08:12 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 11263
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From: Between Hither and Yon
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Brandy
I'd be interested in tips for Dad's and first time babies and new babies in general.
What has he found especially helpful for him to bond?
When he gets a chance but put the bug in his ear!
lol...ok.....he read that (we are sitting here eating our anniversary dinner of burritos away from the kids...hehehe). Anyway he will think of some things while we are cleaning tonight.
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/14/2008 12:57:23 AM
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Christian30
Posts: 185
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Stafford, TX (Houston suburb)
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If possible, get up in the middle of the night with your babies. That's what I did, and the time with them was so special. Even if your wife is nursing she can pump, and therefore get longer stretches of sleep. It was easy for me though, as I'm the one who needs far less sleep.
A more drastic measure is to be the super controlling daddy. You can lock yourself in a room with baby for 2 or 3 days so no one else can touch him/her and have the baby all to yourself. Baby will end up loving you the most lol!!Seriously, when my cousin had her 3rd g'child she did this.
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/14/2008 9:35:50 AM
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momof4
Posts: 166
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From: an urban paradise!
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When our kids were young, I worked th 3-11 pm shift and hubby worked days. No problem finding time for him to bond with them on a schedule like that! You bond or else!
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"There's more to life than just to live" (Jonas Brothers, "Hold On")
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/14/2008 2:42:49 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 11263
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From: Between Hither and Yon
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Christian30
If possible, get up in the middle of the night with your babies. That's what I did, and the time with them was so special. Even if your wife is nursing she can pump, and therefore get longer stretches of sleep. It was easy for me though, as I'm the one who needs far less sleep.
just wanted to point out that not every woman can pump, and generally speaking she would still have to get up to pump or feed the baby anyway, so for a lot of times it's not easier to make much of a habit of the dad feeding the baby. It can also be very bad on your milk supply....it is best for mom to feed the baby each and every time they are hungry...supply wise at least...cause then your supply and baby are in sync.
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/14/2008 3:00:58 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 11263
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From: Between Hither and Yon
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quote:
Yes, pumping is very hard work (speaking from experience here). BUT my husband is ALWAYS the one to get up in the middle of the night and get baby from the crib and bring him/her to me.
yup mine too!!! He gets up, changes diaper, then brings them to me and gives them over to me to feed (which I usually do in bed half asleep myself still)...then when they are done he will put the baby back in their bed if they need to be back in there.
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/14/2008 3:05:39 PM
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karlie
Posts: 16591
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Central California
Status: online
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quote:
If possible, get up in the middle of the night with your babies. That's what I did, and the time with them was so special.
My husband fed our babies a bottle once a day, usually a late night feeding. That was something he felt he wanted to help in too and there is no way I would have denied him that special time. He loved holding and rocking them while he fed them. Despite all the nay-sayers, giving them a bottle once a day never caused a single issue with milk supply, or with them going from breast to bottle. But, we started that from day one, and didn't wait til they were used to only me. It worked perfect for us and those were some of the best bonding and quiet times he got to spend with his girls as infants.
_____________________________
Shoes CAN change your life...just ask Cinderella
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/15/2008 1:25:58 AM
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Christian30
Posts: 185
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Stafford, TX (Houston suburb)
Status: offline
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Peculiar_lady, glad you pointed this out about not every woman being able to pump. (I made it sound too much like an absolute.) That's just the way it was for us. I'd often bring the baby to her for the first 2-3 weeks, then she could pump easily. Our babies were small, so middle-of-the night feedings lasted for quite awhile for 2 of our babies.
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/15/2008 1:29:30 AM
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Christian30
Posts: 185
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Stafford, TX (Houston suburb)
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: karlie
quote:
If possible, get up in the middle of the night with your babies. That's what I did, and the time with them was so special.
My husband fed our babies a bottle once a day, usually a late night feeding. That was something he felt he wanted to help in too and there is no way I would have denied him that special time. He loved holding and rocking them while he fed them. Despite all the nay-sayers, giving them a bottle once a day never caused a single issue with milk supply, or with them going from breast to bottle. But, we started that from day one, and didn't wait til they were used to only me. It worked perfect for us and those were some of the best bonding and quiet times he got to spend with his girls as infants.
Yes this made me remember something. the way I was able to feed the baby in the middle of the night was with a bottle rather than always pumpiing before going to bed. We found that 1 bottle a day was no big deal, and most feedings could be breast milk. My 100-lb wife produced enough milk for quadruplets!
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/15/2008 4:28:40 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 1655
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
Status: offline
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quote:
quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
I'm sure most would frown on my dh. He is not very much a hands on dad. He's never bathed our babies, and I can count the number of diapers he's changed on one hand. I do the nighttime parenting because we don't use bottles and I'm the only one with the alternative.
However, he does the little things. Most importantly to me, he's welcoming of the children. When they come to him (or when I need to hand them off) he gladly holds them. His lap serves as highchair for the baby at supper time. I can leave a sleeping baby next to him in bed and he'll wrap his arm around the baby and they'll sleep a while, and when the baby wakes up and starts pulling and poking and climbing on him, he lets him do it. He cheers their accomplishments and kisses their booboos.
THAT is a hands-on dad. Sure...some dads do more of the nitty gritty...but a hands on dad loves, cuddles, parents and soothes his children.
EXACTLY! Besides if YOU are happy with what YOUR husband is as a dad, who cares what other people think?
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/15/2008 9:11:48 AM
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Ellie-Mae
Posts: 4274
Joined: 4/9/2005
From: The EMPIRE state!
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My hubby did everything that I did except nurse the baby. He is an awesome Dad. the best.
As far as pumping goes... I could pump better than great for the first baby, I could pump a little for the second. For the third, it would take me an hour just to get a couple of ounces. The next two, I just couldn't do it. It wasn't that I didn't know how, it just wouldn't work no matter how much I wanted it too. so I say enjoy the things that ou can while you can. Somethings won't change, but you never know.
< Message edited by Ellie-Mae -- 6/15/2008 9:18:48 AM >
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He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
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292 more miles to go!
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/15/2008 9:18:37 AM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 11263
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: Between Hither and Yon
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quote:
As far as pumping goes... I could pump better than great for the first baby, I could pump a little for the second. For the third, it would take me an hour just to get a couple of ounces. The next two, I just couldn't do it. It wasn't that I didn't know how, it just wouldn't work no matter how much I wanted it too. so I say enjoy the things that ou can while you can. Somethings won't change, but you never know.
yup...it has been gradually down for each one with me too. With my first I could easily pump ( in the first few months) a ton.....less with the second. By the fourth I gave away the pump and didn't plan on even trying again cause it just wouldn't work no matter what I tried to do. There are plenty of other opportunities that dad's can take on in their baby's lives besides feeding the baby (if the mom bf's)
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/17/2008 2:29:48 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 1655
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
but I think some people may miss how great a man is or could be as a father due to tension over style.
Oh, yeah, I'm with you there. I've told so many women that are so ready to complain about that their husband that
If he is a good provider, they are blessed.
If he is not physically abusive, they are blessed.
If he is not cheating on them, they are blessed.
If they have good health insurance through his work, they are blessed.
Not that more than that wouldn't be nice, but just those things are so much more than many women round the world have.
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Proud Army Wife 
Mom to Jake, Hannah, Emma, Jackson, and Justice 
Sometimes, though, I do see women who are very upset that their husband isn't a "magazine dad"--the perfect, diaper-changing, babywearing, bath-giving, teddy-bear that's represented in parenting and mother's mags as the ideal. None of those things are bad, but I think some people may miss how great a man is or could be as a father due to tension over style. KWIM?