Should I tell Hubby about job?

Should I tell Hubby about job? (Full Version)

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[Poll]

Tell hubby about job - it's the Christlike thing to do

66% (14)

Don't tell him - it's not your responsibility!

33% (7)

Total Votes : 21

(last vote on : 7/27/2008 5:30:53 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

Message

MyGodYourGod -> Should I tell Hubby about job? (6/9/2008 3:36:57 PM)
Dh and I are separated - been separated for almost 3 months (he abandoned us). He shows no interest in getting back together. While we were still together, I applied for a job for him (a job that has a GREAT income potential - over 100k). Today, the job emailed him (I created this email account for him, and he has NEVER checked it, nor does he have access to it. I created it for the sole purpose of applying for jobs for him) and extended an offer to take the test. My question is, in light of our separation, should I tell him about it? Or should I just ignore it. I DEFINITELY don't want him to come back here (he moved over 600 miles away) and try to get back with me because of a job. It won't work under those circumstances. So, what should I do?

Ps103 -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (6/9/2008 4:21:27 PM)
Since you applied for the job for him, I would say you do not have any responsibility to tell him about it.

stillabride -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (6/9/2008 4:28:01 PM)
I agree with Ps103, it doesn't sound like he was motivated enough to apply for the jobs or check his emails after you applied, so it doesn't seem like he cares. I would just let it be to avoid having to talk with him or having him move back.

pbaribeault -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (6/9/2008 4:30:23 PM)
I think you should call him and appologize for having fraudulently created this account and done this application in his name. Tell him that you know it was a violation of his privacy and that you realize that you should not have been all over his buisness like that, especially without his knowledge. Mention that this came to your mind because something information came through, but that it is his buisness. Tell him the site and account details and promise him that it is his own to look into, shut down or do whatever he wants, and you will never look at it again. If he goes on about it, just reaffirm that it is his business now, that you heve no opinion or input as to what he should do... and/or that you have ALREADY apologised and that you DO know it was wrong to do it in the first place (then say good bye).

teachered -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (6/9/2008 10:01:22 PM)
My question is "Why are you applying for jobs for your hubby?" Sounds like you were trying to take control of things instead of letting God do his work. You might have meant well, but I would never do something like that w/o my hubby's permission.

Jenny-Fair -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (6/9/2008 11:37:33 PM)
Did you apply for this job with his consent? I rarely disagree with PS103 but I really think forwarding the email would be the KIND thing to do, and why would you NOT be kind to your husband? You don't have to let him move back in with you if you feel that's a bad idea--he may not even get the job, but perhaps it is God's provision. If you applied for the job without his consent, then I really think you need some counseling. Actually, either way it might be a very good idea. You seem to mother him, make his decisions for him, etc, and that may very well be why your marriage is in trouble.

jaimestarcross -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (6/10/2008 12:29:38 AM)
I don't understand why this is a problem - you went job hunting for him - he has no knowledge of that or access to the email - your husband left and doesn't want to repair/save the marriage and he's over 600 miles away --- delete the email, there's no obligation here.... however there is fraud.

allisonbrett -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (6/10/2008 1:14:48 PM)
Did he know you had applied for jobs and created the email account? You mentioned that "he left us". That refers to more than just you so I assume that you have children. Won't he be better able to pay child support if he is gainfully employed? If you have any thoughts of reuniting the family wouldn't it be a great step to reach out with an opportunity of a job? Either way, I think I'd do the less selfish thing and reach out and let him know about the job. Even if it goes no where, you left it in his court so what he does with it is up to him. But that shows that you put his interests above your hurts and any resentment. I say tell him.

APZR -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (6/10/2008 2:11:42 PM)
I'd send them an email that he is no longer in the area, and no longer on your email account... then send them MY resume. [;)] He skipped on you and moved 600 miles away... you need to move on with your life, and have no responsibility to him.

lilee -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (7/23/2008 12:32:18 PM)
I would tell him maybe this is God's way for restoring your marriage.

saraimay75 -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (7/23/2008 1:50:10 PM)
It is not your resposibity to get a job for your husband.

WesP -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (7/24/2008 10:43:12 AM)
You are not obligated to do anything. Consider this though: if he was still your best friend, would you tell him? People always fail at some point or another because no one is perfect. True, some failures are harder to take than others, but love should be unconditional. I am betting that when times were good you would have been delighted to share the information with him. Try to continue to love him in spite of his faults and do what you would have done in the past. Incidentally, in the majority of places, you can use a spouse's SS#, etc. without repercussions when you are still together because you are recognized as a single legal entity. IOW, you are responsible for each other's bills, etc., so I doubt you could be penalized for the e-mail and applications. Since you are separated, you should not use them anymore, but since you have the information in hand, act on it. In the future, do not access it anymore.

laura... -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (7/24/2008 10:58:05 AM)
quote: While we were still together, I applied for a job for him Since she applied for him while they were still together I would assume that she did not go behind his back. Either tell him about the offer or give the company his current contact information.

MC4JC -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (7/24/2008 11:55:00 AM)
If your husband did NOT ask you to set this up and you did it of your own accord (no matter what the intentions), then it was wrong. If he knew about this and you were helping him out, then let him know about the job offer - up to him as to what he does with it.

elastic -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (7/24/2008 12:16:49 PM)
quote: If your husband did NOT ask you to set this up and you did it of your own accord (no matter what the intentions), then it was wrong. that is not necissarily true. We don't know the situation behind her applying for the job on his behalf. When my husband was seeking work, there were several times I sent in resumes on his behalf without his knowledge. He was looking for work and knew that I was helping him, but didn't know specific jobs that I was sending things out for unless they called him back or emailed. That's not the point. It isn't like she was being deceitful in trying to get a job prospect for her husband. however, now that he has left, abandoned her, she is well within her right to keep that job prospect from him. I would tell the people who emailed about it that he has relocated and is not in the area to take the job, but other than that, I feel she has no responsibility whatsoever to give that information to her husband. He has access to that email box and if he chooses not to check it, that's his fault.

Auben -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (7/24/2008 12:51:56 PM)
Wives do help husbands locate jobs, usually with the husband's consent, realizing that having employment is good for the whole family. I think the best thing would have been to close all accounts when he left; however, since things can be overlooked during a painful time in your life I don't find this situation unusual. I think either option has merit. If your husband is employed elsewhere, and has of his own free choice left you and does not wish to return or converse with you I would leave it alone. I would close the account and move on. No matter how good the news, trying to contact someone who wants to hide from you only makes things worse. If you are still in contact I would forward it to him with no explanation other than that you are closing the account and this was in it. Certainly I don't think you owe him the apology Pbaribault is suggesting. Nor do I think it is prudent to reply to the business sending the email (you no longer have permission to access these things).

shadowspring -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (7/24/2008 1:05:43 PM)
I think you should let him know about the opportunity. Write briefly and to the point in your communication. While you may not want him around you, it will be good for the children to have their Dad in the area. IF he even is happy about the information, IF takes the test, IF he passes and IF is hired then you can decide how to deal with visitation if he is in the area. That's a lot of IFs. [;)] I do not think you owe him any kind of apology or explanation, nor do I think you did anything wrong in trying to get your unemployed husband job opportunities. I totally disagree with those posts.

Jenny-Fair -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (7/24/2008 3:46:16 PM)
FYI, the question was posted nearly to months ago. I am sure the job has been filled by now.[;)]

elastic -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (7/24/2008 3:49:45 PM)
i hate it when threads are resurrected and I don't notice the dates. i think i do that all the time. note to self: start paying attention to the OP post date. thanks jenny[8D]

shadowspring -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (7/24/2008 3:54:44 PM)
LOL! Thanks Jenn! It's good to be reminded that the world goes on without any input from me. [:D]

elastic -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (7/24/2008 3:56:18 PM)
quote: It's good to be reminded that the world goes on without any input from me. that would make an excellent signature for some people...myself included

Jenny-Fair -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (7/24/2008 4:04:55 PM)
Thank goodness I have a siggy already and can pretend not to notice that potential and all-to-apropos option listed above. Hi, Elastic! Long time no 'see'!

elastic -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (7/24/2008 4:29:16 PM)
hiya! i just got back from a longish vacation, so i'm getting back into the swing of posting.

Jenny-Fair -> RE: Should I tell Hubby about job? (7/24/2008 4:30:48 PM)
Well, I hope you have a wonderful time!

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