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RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys!

 
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RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/8/2008 12:47:01 PM   
Carleejoan


Posts: 1002
Joined: 9/1/2007
From: Canada
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Well have him start a camp fire using a highly explosive substance and light it and then see if he's got any eyebrows left. Just trying to help.




I need a new lawnmower. What kind should I get?
Post #: 101
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/8/2008 2:20:32 PM   
beauregarde

 

Posts: 458
Joined: 1/10/2006
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Skip the mower, and go green - get a goat.


The summer flowers are not growing too well - how can I help them out?
Post #: 102
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/8/2008 2:37:17 PM   
still4gvn


Posts: 941
Joined: 12/28/2005
From: State of Grace, WA
Status: offline
talk to them and play music.

I leave my car windows cracked open a bit so the car isn't so hot. But then overnight it gets full of little spiders and their webs. I don't want to kill them, just keep them out of the car. What to do?
Post #: 103
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/8/2008 4:11:31 PM   
beauregarde

 

Posts: 458
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Use silly string to make your own web to keep the bugs out.


Help, I've fallen, and I can't get up! What should I do?
Post #: 104
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/8/2008 5:17:37 PM   
Carleejoan


Posts: 1002
Joined: 9/1/2007
From: Canada
Status: offline
Stare at the ceiling, count the pattern in the wallpaper, sing songs, scream as loud you can, and then if that doesn't help have a nap.




I need to assemble a push lawnmower and barbecue. How can I make sure it goes smoothly?
Post #: 105
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/8/2008 5:37:39 PM   
still4gvn


Posts: 941
Joined: 12/28/2005
From: State of Grace, WA
Status: offline
That's difficult - never heard of a push mower that can BBQ, though a friend has a flame thrower she uses on weeds. Maybe it cooks the weeds a you push it along? Or you have to cut the weeds first and use them as fuel?
Anyway, you want to assemble it. First get rid of all the heavy parts cause they're to hard to handle, especially in hot weather. Then hot glue the rest together. Then spray paint it in a nice color.

dh has someone in the living room who went off his meds and is depressed. Trying to get him into some kind of residential program. How do I get rid of them so I can take my jeans off and stretch out on the couch and brush my cat in peace? (yeah, I know - dh has all the compassion in the family).
Post #: 106
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/8/2008 6:04:36 PM   
Carleejoan


Posts: 1002
Joined: 9/1/2007
From: Canada
Status: offline
Tell them there's a sale on Blizzards at DQ and that they'd better get there fast.


I am frustrated as the screws and bolts didn't tighten very well on the push mower handle. It's more like spaghetti than a handle. What should I say to the people at sears as I'm ticked off now?
Post #: 107
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/8/2008 6:53:27 PM   
FROGkissin


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Joined: 6/1/2008
From: Sutherlin, Oregon, USA
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Find a little bitty weed-eater, and wrap it up as a gift!



I think my neighbor is a terrorist, help!

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Post #: 108
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/9/2008 1:12:53 AM   
Carleejoan


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From: Canada
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Dress up in a turbon and robe and go over and act as a spy. Tell him you're "there" for him. Then call the FBI.


I think a neighbour could be a child molestor. He walks around looking in everyone's yards everyday and acts like he wants to talk.
Post #: 109
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/9/2008 2:07:38 PM   
still4gvn


Posts: 941
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From: State of Grace, WA
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maybe he's lonely. introduce him to Frogkissen's terrorist neighbor and send them off on the boat with the pitbulls.

my neighbors are boring. all they do is work and mow their lawns. how can I get exciting neighbors like you guys?
Post #: 110
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/9/2008 2:34:56 PM   
beauregarde

 

Posts: 458
Joined: 1/10/2006
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Buy a horse, and parade around like Lady Godiva.


I have a neighbor whom is real cranky. How can a I elicit laughter from him instead tsk, tsk, tsk?
Post #: 111
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/9/2008 7:07:57 PM   
Carleejoan


Posts: 1002
Joined: 9/1/2007
From: Canada
Status: offline
Go look in all his windows and scream FIRE.


How or what is the perfect picnic?
Post #: 112
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/9/2008 9:33:39 PM   
Hisjoy


Posts: 5005
Joined: 5/22/2005
From: The Golden State in the USA
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One where ants would crawl all over you and the food.

What clothes should one wear to go visit the President?
Post #: 113
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/9/2008 10:28:44 PM   
Carleejoan


Posts: 1002
Joined: 9/1/2007
From: Canada
Status: offline
a bathing suit.



If you put your socks on the table after you wear them where do you put your food?
Post #: 114
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/10/2008 12:59:17 PM   
still4gvn


Posts: 941
Joined: 12/28/2005
From: State of Grace, WA
Status: offline
between your toes (yuck)

my neighbor is driving me nuts obsessively power mowing his lawn. how can I make him shut it off?
Post #: 115
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/10/2008 2:10:26 PM   
Carleejoan


Posts: 1002
Joined: 9/1/2007
From: Canada
Status: offline
Dump out garbage all over the lawn and have the local concrete company come and dump their leftover cement.



My neighbour is always taking his Harley out and it's noisy. What should I do?
Post #: 116
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/11/2008 5:03:40 PM   
still4gvn


Posts: 941
Joined: 12/28/2005
From: State of Grace, WA
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put sugar in his gas tank.

I want to be rich and skinny quickly and easily. what should I do?
Post #: 117
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/11/2008 6:25:16 PM   
Carleejoan


Posts: 1002
Joined: 9/1/2007
From: Canada
Status: offline
Go get chemotherapy and that will help you get skinny. Take all your money and go to casinos, after you could win big!!


I want to get 30 years younger.
Post #: 118
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/12/2008 1:38:05 PM   
still4gvn


Posts: 941
Joined: 12/28/2005
From: State of Grace, WA
Status: offline
Well, they say exercise takes years off , so does healthy diet, certain face creams, a good attitude, etc. Just do enough of those things and you'll get 30 years off.

I need to work on some chores but am lazy. what should I do?
Post #: 119
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/12/2008 3:24:37 PM   
Carleejoan


Posts: 1002
Joined: 9/1/2007
From: Canada
Status: offline
Drink a high energy drink and eat chocolate coated coffee beans and espresso coffee.


I'm tired because my sleep got interupted by someone ringing my doorbell at 4:30 this am. A lady let a guy take her car and he didn't come back. I was worried about her if it was a murderer she had picked as new internet beau! But turns out this guy was away visiting with a friend instead of coming back with her car to be with her. Nice eh?
Post #: 120
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/13/2008 1:26:55 PM   
still4gvn


Posts: 941
Joined: 12/28/2005
From: State of Grace, WA
Status: offline
from now on, disconnect your phone and doorbell at night and post a big sign on your lawn, 'in case of emergency, call 911'.

lately I don't like going to church. how can I have a better attitude?
Post #: 121
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/13/2008 10:45:13 PM   
Carleejoan


Posts: 1002
Joined: 9/1/2007
From: Canada
Status: offline
Go visit the Psych wards and intensive care units of your local hospital. That may help you to have a better attitude.


How can maintain an upbeat attitude helping with VBS for the preschool set?
Post #: 122
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/13/2008 11:08:45 PM   
Kerrlaw


Posts: 9168
Joined: 5/24/2006
From: Big Orange Country
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Pop a couple of amphetamines while they carry the flag in.


How can I get better at video games?

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Post #: 123
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/14/2008 7:01:05 PM   
still4gvn


Posts: 941
Joined: 12/28/2005
From: State of Grace, WA
Status: offline
subscribe to one of the mags that give cheat codes.

I don't want to turn on the stove til about October when it cools off. What do we eat meanwhile?
Post #: 124
RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! - 7/18/2008 2:29:19 PM   
slushie


Posts: 2219
Joined: 4/30/2006
Status: offline
Go to bed, lie down, and pretend that you're sick and on the verge of death. If your neighbors are any good, they'll cook food for you.

My legs are so tired from swimming. What do I do?

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